OK, I am so totally new to this, it's taken me a while to figure out how to get to where I could write something (my son says I'm technology challenged)
I was diagnosed w/BC in Oct 2001 (2001 very weird year for me - started w/slipping on ice and shattering my right shoulder 2-1-01), my BC was on the left side. Had gone for a "routine" once-a-year mammogram...didn't even leave, was taken to the ultrasound room, was "held" until the radiologist could come and talk to me, and told me he had already called my physician and that I needed to talk to them that day.
To summarize: was told I had something suspicious about the size of a quarter (no lump I could feel, no lump the doctor or surgeon could feel even when they knew where it was. Had a lumpectomy on a Friday, had the follow up appt & got path report on Tuesday...all I saw was carcinoma written over and over on the paper, also saw "no clean margins"...everything else was a blur for a while. The surgeon was very nice would explain some things and then give me time to cry and get it together and then explain more. I opted to have a mastecomy that Thursday. He let me borrow his book called something like "Every Woman's Decision" it was huge and I was intimidated, but when I opened it that night there was a paragraph that talked about a woman who felt like she had control of her life getting diagnosed w/cancer and being thrown on to the rollercoaster ride of tests and treatments...it was the perfect description to what I was feeling. I read that book well into the night.
Wednesday I went to talk to a counselor, and told him I was taking "my puppies" for 1 last outing...and had worn my sexiest low cut sweater, it felt like a very good day.
Thursday late in the day I had the mastectomy. The next morning the nurse told me they were discharging me. I told them I wasn't going to leave, that I had only been in the room about 10 hours, had not had anything to eat since Wednesday night other than a couple crackers, and I wasn't going to leave until at least 24 hours had lapsed since I got out of surgery, told her to tell the doctor to cross out the discharge order. And he did, and then he talked to me (it was a surgeon covering my surgeon's pts for the day) I talked to him, and he told me "if it's OK w/you I'll discharge you tomorrow". Told him that was much better.
I only had to do 3 months of A/C chemo...no radiation therapy. I didn't mind losing my hair. When it came back my oncologist told me I had the curliest hair he'd even seen. Eventually I could stick a pic in it and the curls would hold it...it was that baby fine hair, so my co-workers would "pet" my head. I didn't mind giving myself the neupogen injections, if you gotta do it, you gotta do it.
I had problems with the major fatigue starting after the 3rd treatment...so major that once my son thought I had died because he had screamed my name about 10 times before I could pull myself back from where ever I was and open my eyes. But I/we got though that.
I finished my 5 years of tamoxifen, with it's lovely industrial strength hot flashes.
I am now on Aromasin, which I do not like it's side effects, so once in a while I take myself off it for 1 week to pull out of the thickest part...then I start again for another 2 months or whatever until I can't stand it anymore. They had tried me on Arimidex, and Femara before the Aromasin...those 2 were absolute nightmares for me.
So since 02-01-01, with all the wonderful medical issues (ie due to the severity of my shoulder injury I also had "no bending, leaning, reaching, lifting, pushing, pulling, stretching, or walking (if I felt there was any risk of tripping or falling) restrictions for 1 year, I also was unable to lay down to sleep and had to be nearly sitting up to prevent my shoulder from rolling backward. Also for a long time being on 3 meds that cause weight gain.
So I managed to gain around 140 pounds...So here I am, feeling not the best because of the Aromasin...but feeling compelled to do something to get my weight back into a reasonably normal range...and to do whatever I can to get my health back into some semblance of control (as much as I am able to control it).
I look forward to meeting as many supportive people as possible, and in turn being as supportive to them as I can.
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse, and regret...Don Miguel Ruiz
| current weight: 376.0