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JELLOBELLY Posts: 422
3/31/08 7:11 P

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Experiencing a loved ones death is extremely painful and wakes us to our own mortality and what life means. When my mother and sister died it brought me to my knees with great sadness but somewhat confused what to do with my own life so I threw myself into school.When school was over it was also painful because I never let myself let go of them. So instead of exchanging my pain for something else I decided to face my fears by accepting we live our best life then dying isn't so bad. It is all about being satisfied with ourselves and living a good life.

Maureen


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CARIE20081 Posts: 107
3/29/08 5:26 P

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Thanks!

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SUSHIMAVEN's Photo SUSHIMAVEN SparkPoints: (21,175)
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3/22/08 12:59 P

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many thanks. I'm looking forward towards chapter 2!

Mitzi
Boynton Beach, Florida
"This Too Shall Pass"


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PGHLIONESS's Photo PGHLIONESS Posts: 750
3/19/08 6:59 A

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Wow...that's something that really makes you stop and think.
I appreciate you sharing this with us and know for myself this is something I have thought about in the last few months or so when a family member has gone through some bad times.
As they say, tomorrow never comes!!
Thanks!!! emoticon

We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once! by Calvin Coolidge (former pres)


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MELISSA5824's Photo MELISSA5824 Posts: 2,038
3/18/08 7:46 P

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you definitely are a motivator,Dark!

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GRAMMYP2 Posts: 516
3/18/08 6:51 P

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Hi Dark,

It's wonderful to meet you. Your "deathbed"excerpt is wonderful.

How many times do I tell myself that one day I will do this or that? But someday never comes, and I find myself on the edge of turning 64.

For me, the fear of failure has always deterred me from doing things which I would love to do. My one dream, which I have had since I was a young girl, was to sing on Broadway. As a teen, I had every Broadway album memorized. Almost instantly, I was transformed into Barbra Streisand, Mary Martin, or another wonderful performer. Unfortunately, I would be in my room in front of a mirror. So, I definitely had the "BUG".

Now at 64, my only hope is probably a theatre group. I know that I do have talent, so I know that I could contribute something, however small. But I keep saying to myself "some day".

After reading what you wrote, I know that it is time to take action, not only about a theatre group, but also about improving myself physically and conquering other fears.

I have lots to be grateful for in my life. I just know that I could do more. Once it's over, it's over. Now's the time!!

Thanks, Dark for your insights. I hope to be able to chat with you lots. You are a wonderful motivator.

Penny emoticon

Penny, aka Peneann


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GRANDMAAMIE's Photo GRANDMAAMIE Posts: 44,049
3/18/08 6:43 P

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emoticon

.* ) .*) -::-
(.(*. ♥.*)
{.+*+AMIE+*+*+{ ;. .*}.* .**+* SORRY ABOUT CAPS NOT YELLING VERY POOR EYE SIGHT DIABETIC +++++ HUGGS

Stop living life for what's around the corner and start enjoying the walk down the street.
***************************

NEVER LOOK DOWN AT ANYONE UNLESS YOUR HELPING THEM UP!
****************************

This life is yours. Take the power
to choose what you want to do .


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CROTTY's Photo CROTTY Posts: 122,361
3/18/08 1:35 P

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Thank you, you are always so interesting. I was taken thru my death by walking up to my casket and looking in--hard to do but I did it. emoticon

There Are No Accidents!
Tucson, Arizona
co-leader of:
Living With Bipolar & Losing Weight and Disabled

Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.
-- From an old English prayer.


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LINDAPFLUG's Photo LINDAPFLUG Posts: 1,125
3/18/08 1:26 P

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Great post - thanks for sharing this...It's never to late is it?

 
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LADY_T_RAY's Photo LADY_T_RAY Posts: 240
3/18/08 10:38 A

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Thanks you Dark. This reminds me that we are not promised tomorrow. Having sat by my Mom's bed as she lay dying was very sobering. I have always said that I would not trade the experience for nothing in the world but I would never wish it on anyone.
Life is a gift and we so often forget that. This has also made me think of my goals for my health.
Let's think about it. What if our love ones were saying good-bye to us because we have allowed poor health choices. My husband, children, family and friends would all be effected because I let diabetes ravish my organs. If only I had lost the weight to make the diabetes go away. I have that control. If only I had not looked for instant gratification through food.
I know now that I will look at this in a different light.
Again, thank you Dark for taking the time to post the story...

Blessings,
lady_t_ray (Tempest)

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ELLENNORTH's Photo ELLENNORTH Posts: 447
3/18/08 9:57 A

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TKS. Dark. It will definitly be a book I will order next time I am in town at the Coles book store. emoticon

"Yesterday is history, tommorrow is a mystery, Today is a present, given to us by God"


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WANNABLEAN1's Photo WANNABLEAN1 Posts: 904
3/18/08 9:46 A

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Thank-you. That is very thought provoking.

ALFONZINOHIOL's Photo ALFONZINOHIOL Posts: 166
3/18/08 9:12 A

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Thanks, DrkStorm. Thanks for sharing. Wow! How thought provoking. I'm going to look for that book.

AlfonzinOhio


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POUNDCAKES's Photo POUNDCAKES Posts: 4,743
3/18/08 8:50 A

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I keep coming across things along this line lately, so I think I will try the exercise. Thanks. I am very aware of expressing my feelings with those close to me and I love to send letters and postcards. It is a lost art in this day and age.

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46A39P's Photo 46A39P Posts: 5,210
3/18/08 8:41 A

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Thank you for sharing...

One night I had a dream I lost my brother and at his funeral I lost it saying I didn't have a chance to say good bye or to tell him that I love him...I was whaling tears...I'm tearing up now just thinking of it. So, I really get your message...loud and clear...Thanks again. Jean

KMCDOWELL12's Photo KMCDOWELL12 Posts: 4,184
3/18/08 8:39 A

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Thank you for sharing chapter 1 with us. It is so true.

Kaye


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LINADK's Photo LINADK SparkPoints: (0)
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3/18/08 8:37 A

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Sounds interesting. I'll check out the local library for it.

If it is to be, it's up to me.


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CHLIWILLOW's Photo CHLIWILLOW SparkPoints: (6,730)
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3/18/08 8:35 A

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emoticon




If you want to be somebody else
Change your mind...



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FITKAT2010's Photo FITKAT2010 Posts: 19,681
3/18/08 8:29 A

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DRKSTORM:It's interesting that you shared this today. I was just forwarded an email from a friend of mine. It's called "The last lecture". If you haven't seen it, I will be happy to send it to you. Give me your ok. I think you have your email address posted on your SparkPage.




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GREG32572's Photo GREG32572 Posts: 16,088
3/18/08 8:17 A

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Chapter 1

1. Get on your deathbed

A number of years ago when I was working with psychotherapist Devers Branden, she put me through her "deathbed" exercise.

I was asked to clearly imagine myself lying on my own deathbed, and to fully realize the feelings connected with dying and saying good-bye. Then she asked me to mentally invite the people in my life who were important to me to visit my bedside, one at a time. As I visualized each friend and relative coming in to visit me, I had to speak to them out loud. I had to say to them what I wanted them to know as I was dying. As I spoke to each person, I could feel my voice breaking. Somehow I couldn't help breaking down. My eyes filled with tears. I experienced such a sense of loss. It was not my own life I was mourning; it was the love I was losing. To be more exact, it was a communication of love that had never been there.

During this difficult exercise, I really got to see how much I'd left out of my life. How many wonderful feelings I had about my children, for example, that I'd never explicitly expressed. At the end of the exercise, I was an emotional mess. I had rarely cried that hard in my life. but when those emotions cleared, a wonderful thing happened. I was clear. I knew what really mattered to me. I understood for the first time what George Patton meant when he said "Death can be more exciting than life"

From that day on I vowed not to leave anything to chance. I made my mind up never to leave anything unsaid. I wanted to live as if I might die any moment. The entire experience altered the way I've related to people ever since. And the great point of the exercise wasn't lost on me: We don't have to wait until we're actually near death to receive these benefits of being mortal. We can create the experience anytime we want. A few years later when my mother lay dying in a hospital in Tuscon, I rushed to her side to hold her hand and repeat to her all the love and gratitude I felt for who she had been to me. When she finally died, my grieving was very intense, but very short. In a matter of days I felt that everything great about my mother had entered into me and would live there as a loving spirit forever. A year and a half before my father's death, I began to send him letters and poems about his contribution to my life. He lived his last months and died in a grip of chronic illness, so communicating and getting through to him in person wasn't always easy. But I always felt good that he had those letter and poems to read. Once he called me after I'd sent him a Fathers Day poem, and he said "Hey, I guess I wasn't such a bad father after all."
Poet William Blake warned us about keeping our thoughts locked up until we die "When thought is closed in caves," he wrote , "then love will show its roots in deepest hell."

Pretending you aren't going to die is detrimental to your enjoyment of life. Its detrimental in the same way that it would be detrimental for a basketball player to pretend there was no end to the game he was playing. That player would reduce his intensity, adopt a lazy playing style, and, of course, end up not having any fun at all. Without an end, there is no game. Without being conscious of death, you can't be fully aware of the gift of life.

Yet many of us (including myself) kept pretending that out life's game will have no end. We keep planning to do great things some day when we feel like it. We assign our goals and dreams to that imaginary island in the sea that Denis Waitley calls "Someday Isle" We find ourselves saying, "Someday I'll do this" and "Someday I'll do that."

Confronting our own death doesn't have to wait until we run out of life. In fact, being able to vividly imagine our last hours on our deathbed creates a paradoxical sensation: the feeling of being born all over again-the first step to fearless self-motivation. "People living deeply" wrote poet and diarist Anais Nin, "have no fear of death"

And Bob Dylan has sung, "He who is not busy being born is busy dying"

" Taking ACTION is the ultimate power of Motivation. Nothing beats it, period."
`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
Do not stop enjoying the wonders of life despite the inevitable hurting that impairs our soul. Hence, it does not make you less of a person when you weep in tears and are in distress. Nonetheless, learn to withstand the stings of time; rise on your feet for no one can ever bring back the soul in you and the beauty of life except you, and you and you."


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GREG32572's Photo GREG32572 Posts: 16,088
3/18/08 8:16 A

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This is a great book I own and it has some FANTASTIC stuff in it. Not every chapter is a grand slam home run, but I hope you folks find some of it helpful. I will post a new chapter every few days or so, please go at your own pace as there is no race to keep up.

You can get the book used for only $8.00 and it would be a great investment in yourself. I hope you get as much out of it as I do.


100 Ways To Motivate Yourself: Change Your Life Forever
by Steve Chandler

Amazon Link:
www.amazon.com/100-Ways-Motivate-You
rs
elf-Forever/dp/1564147754/ref=pd_bbsR>_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1205842042
&sr=8-1


" Taking ACTION is the ultimate power of Motivation. Nothing beats it, period."
`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
Do not stop enjoying the wonders of life despite the inevitable hurting that impairs our soul. Hence, it does not make you less of a person when you weep in tears and are in distress. Nonetheless, learn to withstand the stings of time; rise on your feet for no one can ever bring back the soul in you and the beauty of life except you, and you and you."


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