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POXYFAIRYPLUME's Photo POXYFAIRYPLUME Posts: 1,392
2/3/08 10:49 P

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Food is always there and always comforting. When you are lonley you need something that's there and comforting. It doesn't talk and it doesn't judge. It gives you satisfaction. But it does make you fat if you eat too much. It's bad bad company!!


=^..^=
Amy

white and nerdy, crazy cat lady.

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LIZZY09 Posts: 244
2/1/08 1:24 A

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I believe it totally plays a part... I think that is part of the reason why I have my EE days...

 
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CINEMAPRINCESS Posts: 297
1/19/08 1:09 P

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I am deeply moved by the support and compassion I see here. What a great group of people. So glad I found you (all).

CHERYLHURT SparkPoints: (135,397)
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1/19/08 10:51 A

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Me too, very lonely even with my mother sitting besides me so I love Sparks. At first I was afraid I was "wasting a lotta time" on line but then realized I was helping you and you all were helping me! What blessings we are to one another!

MZ_SEXIIDIVA27's Photo MZ_SEXIIDIVA27 Posts: 246
1/19/08 6:57 A

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I know that when I am not on Sparkpeople, I can become very lonely. Also, just being on this website, I have met some new friends, lost 9 pounds and love to challenge myself with some of the challenges and motivating words from my teams!

Starting Weight:311 lbs

Current Weight:299 lbs

March 1, 2008 Goal Weight: 288 lbs!

I will keep you posted!!!

Be encouraged!


 
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DEBY5384's Photo DEBY5384 Posts: 56
1/17/08 3:18 P

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Thanks Sarah it is so nice to know someone understands.

I am on disability and wanted to try to return to work after 13 years at home so this experience was pretty rough but I am not giving up.

My son was recently diagnosed with Tourettes Syndrome and his tics are like seizures. We are trying to find a med that works so he is really going through some rough times due to side effects. Today my CPAP mask broke, they cost about $250 each, and I just got this one about 4-5 months ago. It rained and is now snowing on and off so the roads are very bad.

My journey is not without challenges and that is what life is all about and I am so happy I have SP for support and people to talk to.

Now I am trying to move forward and make changes to my health and lifestyle. There is always someone out there who is struggling more than I and I really appreciated what and who I have in my life.

Thanks all for listening and just take it
One Day At A Time. emoticon

DEBY from Alberta,Canada

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle"
CHERYLHURT SparkPoints: (135,397)
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1/17/08 11:21 A

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You have certainly had your plate full! My biggest fear is being alone one day if my husdand dies before me. No kids!

RAVENFAIR's Photo RAVENFAIR SparkPoints: (13,193)
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1/17/08 11:13 A

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Thanks for caring everyone. I really appericate it very much. I am trying my best to take care of myself at this time, it's hard though. I eating has changed and my sleep isn't very restful. I go from giving up/giving in to being angry to being so upset. Its hard to have all of those feelings in just 1 day and I have them for almost a week now. But I am trying to be ok. I know it will be ok, but I can't gurantee when or how and that's one of the hard parts. It's like waiting for the rest of your life to be shown to you on the tv. It would be so much easier if I could just hide under my blanket and this would all work itself out without me. But that's not how life works. I just hope that this whole situation works out soon with the littlest amount of heartache and tears for me.

Alyssa

It all comes to this: the simplest way to be happy is to do good.

If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

The struggle is part of the story.


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MILLER32807's Photo MILLER32807 Posts: 2,822
1/16/08 2:42 P

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DEBY, you are a strong woman if you have raised your kids alone for so long. I have 3 kids and was single for a over a year, and that was a struggle. Its hard working full time and feeling like a bad parent because you can't spend enough time with the kids. And to have the weight of knowing how many bills and such you have to pay and knowing that sometimes the money just doesn't meet all those needs, its really hard.

And that is really horrible about your supervisor. I hate people like that. And it usually seems that when they are like that, they are covering up for something they lack in their own lives. I know that isn't a great comfort, but maybe knowing that she had other issues too can make you feel somewhat better.

And its not the same as a spouse or significant other, but we're all here for you to share with. So please don't feel completely alone. We're just a few mouse clicks away from you anytime you need us.

*SARAH*

START 215 lbs
GOAL 135 lbs


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DEBY5384's Photo DEBY5384 Posts: 56
1/16/08 11:59 A

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I can really relate to all that has been said here. There are days I just wish I had someone to lean on who would take care of me for a change.

I have been a single parent for 15 years and my children are almost grown d-15, s-18. In this time I have struggled with many health issues, been on disability and continued to gain weight.

My biggest fear is being alone once my children leave home.

I tried to return to work but my supervisor was OCD and a perfectionist to the extreme. After my review I was devastated because she was so harsh and unfair. My selfesteem really took a beating. These are the times I wish I had a partner to share my pain with and provide support and comfort. This is another form of loneliness I guess.

DEBY from Alberta,Canada

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle"
MILLER32807's Photo MILLER32807 Posts: 2,822
1/16/08 10:55 A

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My computer was acting stupid when I tried to post earlier. Thanks for sharing that with us. Its true but it's also so easy to forget those 6 SMALL things that can make a BIG difference in our daily lives.



*SARAH*

START 215 lbs
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 current weight: 219.4 
 
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CHERYLHURT SparkPoints: (135,397)
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1/16/08 10:50 A

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That was really beautiful and so perfect!

WALKAWAY's Photo WALKAWAY SparkPoints: (48,005)
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1/15/08 10:42 P

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After two days without internet service, I just was catching up on everyones posts and thought I'd share something I read in Readers Digest years ago. It was called "Letters from Aunt Grace" and it was the story of a young woman who while going through her elderly aunts trunk after her passing came across her diary. In the diary the aunt, who was a spinster and dependent on the care of family members, decided she had to basically come up with a plan of attack for each day or be swallowed up by the lonliness of her life. So she came up with 6 rules. Six because she felt it was a doable number. Here were the rules:
1. Do something for someone else.
2. Do something for myself.
3. Do something I don't want to do that needs doing.
4. Do a physical exercise.
5. Do a mental exercise.
And lastly but most important.
6. Do an original prayer that always includes counting my blessing.

She gave herself points for the smallest things done, the load of laundry, visiting a ill neighbor, going for a walk, you get the idea.

I've packed this story and the list with me through 28 years of marriage, good times and bad. When I feel at my worst, my lonliest, I dig out this list and start including it in my journal. I hope this might be of help for all of us. emoticon



Live Simply, Love Generously, Care Deeply, Speak Kindly, Leave The Rest To God.

Expect great things of yourself, and you'll achieve them!

If not now - when! If not you - who!

Everyone needs to have a life plan of things they want to do before they "kick the bucket" as the saying goes.







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AUALIBRA's Photo AUALIBRA SparkPoints: (27,386)
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1/15/08 8:31 P

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Ravenfair - this is your sounding board. We all hope you can find comfort with your SP pals here. And we'll be here again when you need an ear or two.

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EATTOLIVE1 Posts: 706
1/15/08 6:57 P

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Even though your post was not addressed to me, I appreciated what you had to say. It is great how supportive everyone is.

Edited by: EATTOLIVE1 at: 1/15/2008 (18:58)
DEBY5384's Photo DEBY5384 Posts: 56
1/15/08 5:12 P

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Hi

Hope you don't mind if I jump in here. It is so inspiring to see people caring for each other.

Ravenfair - sorry you are hurting and I hope you will stay strong. Try to focus on all that is good in your life and that may help some. Take Care

DEBY from Alberta,Canada

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle"
CROTTY's Photo CROTTY Posts: 122,361
1/15/08 5:03 P

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RAVENFAIR - Well Understood! Take care of yourself. We care!

There Are No Accidents!
Tucson, Arizona
co-leader of:
Living With Bipolar & Losing Weight and Disabled

Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.
-- From an old English prayer.


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RAVENFAIR's Photo RAVENFAIR SparkPoints: (13,193)
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1/15/08 4:56 P

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Thanks for the hugs Sarah. I keep telling myself that. I know it will be ok at some point. It's the not being ok at this moment that is driving me out of my freaking mind.

Alyssa

It all comes to this: the simplest way to be happy is to do good.

If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

The struggle is part of the story.


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MILLER32807's Photo MILLER32807 Posts: 2,822
1/15/08 4:42 P

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RAVENFAIR

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Things will be ok... we're almost halfway thru the month now. Just keep hanging in there!!



*SARAH*

START 215 lbs
GOAL 135 lbs


 current weight: 219.4 
 
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RAVENFAIR's Photo RAVENFAIR SparkPoints: (13,193)
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1/15/08 4:36 P

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Cheryl- I sometimes wish I was made of iron through! It would be alot easier these past few days. My head hurts from everything. On top of all the junk going on with my relationship, I just found out that we lost a huge account here at work. Nothing that was our fault or anything we could have prevented, but it sucks all the same. It just seems like January is going to continune to be a horrible month. Thanks for the hug... I need it!

Alyssa

It all comes to this: the simplest way to be happy is to do good.

If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

The struggle is part of the story.


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DENISE824's Photo DENISE824 SparkPoints: (13,945)
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1/15/08 11:17 A

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This is a very helpful discussion. Thank you all for sharing!

Right now I am living the life I think that I deserve to live. When I decide that I deserve better, I'll make better choices.
CHERYLHURT SparkPoints: (135,397)
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1/15/08 11:04 A

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It's all right to break down, you are NOT made of iron! Write when you need support, need to cry, vent, anything! We are all here for YOU! emoticon

MILLER32807's Photo MILLER32807 Posts: 2,822
1/14/08 6:37 P

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I am very glad that you plan to continue. That alone shows that you are a strong person, as its so easy to fall into that emotional eating to just cover your feelings. Our feelings have to be dealt with, and of course we all know that eating isn't helping them, but its a hard habit to break. You sound like you will continue having success even with the stress in your life.

*SARAH*

START 215 lbs
GOAL 135 lbs


 current weight: 219.4 
 
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RAVENFAIR's Photo RAVENFAIR SparkPoints: (13,193)
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1/14/08 5:00 P

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Cheryl and Sarah - Thank you both for your kind words. I am trying to keep strong and not break down. It's hard, but I am taking things minute by minute. It's nice to know that the people here are always willing to listen. It's like having a big family right there for you, except everyone is all over the world. Sarah, you are not being harsh at all. I fully intend to continue with improving my health. After all he is the one who helped me get in shape and even though I am feeling hurt by him and I don't know what is going to happen to us, I will keep working toward my fitness goal. For myself.

Alyssa

It all comes to this: the simplest way to be happy is to do good.

If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

The struggle is part of the story.


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MILLER32807's Photo MILLER32807 Posts: 2,822
1/14/08 3:37 P

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I'm sorry about your relationship, and I wish you the best no matter what the outcome. We're here whenever you need us. Accept what happens, and continue doing what you can to improve your health. I know that sounds like a harsh thing for me to say, but only you know what you are going thru in this relationship, so only you know what decision is for the best. I know from experience that it can be a hard thing to handle, but I know it helps having an unbiased ear to listen to your problems. Someone who doesn't know you personally and won't take sides. So anytime you need to vent or get advice, don't hesitate to post on here... or email any of us. I think this group is full of good people.

Good luck!!!!

*SARAH*

START 215 lbs
GOAL 135 lbs


 current weight: 219.4 
 
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CHERYLHURT SparkPoints: (135,397)
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1/14/08 2:29 P

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I'm sorry your relationship might be ending and am offering my shoulders to cry on and lean on. We are here to help and support you. Trust yourself.

CROTTY's Photo CROTTY Posts: 122,361
1/14/08 11:04 A

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RAVENFAIR - You are so right. Get yourself together first, that is most important. You can do it, you are woman you are strong. We are all here to help you along your path. Keep in touch!

There Are No Accidents!
Tucson, Arizona
co-leader of:
Living With Bipolar & Losing Weight and Disabled

Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.
-- From an old English prayer.


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1/14/08 10:55 A

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I am going to try focusing on something outside my world, but it's very hard. Right now it feels as if my world is falling apart, so it's hard to see anyone elses. I hate to be selfish, but right now that's all I can process. Maybe once my world feels more stable I can work on the outside one. I'm no good to anyone if I am not stable enough.

Alyssa

It all comes to this: the simplest way to be happy is to do good.

If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

The struggle is part of the story.


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CROTTY's Photo CROTTY Posts: 122,361
1/13/08 11:31 P

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RAVENFAIR: Very good. I also think we can create our own unhappiness. There is do much outside our little worlds we can contribute to if we would only look around. Offer your help to a Cancer for kids hospital or a Vets hospital,or soup kitchen and you might feel better when you look at your own life.

There Are No Accidents!
Tucson, Arizona
co-leader of:
Living With Bipolar & Losing Weight and Disabled

Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.
-- From an old English prayer.


 current weight: 164.0 
 
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RAVENFAIR's Photo RAVENFAIR SparkPoints: (13,193)
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1/13/08 10:10 P

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I hope everyone doesn't mind me jumping in on this topic. I think loneliness plays a big roal in my eating. I think my relationship is ending and because of it I am hardly eating anything. Today I had a yogurt, a small glass of juice, a piece of pizza and 2 small pieces of cheese bread. I can stand to eat anymore because I start to think of everything that is happing and I get sick to my stomach. I am trying very hard to make sure I eat right now, but it's so so hard. I want to eat, but my stomach is in so many knots that it's impossible. So I guess for me, it's not so much the loneliness, as much as it is the unknowingness of what's going to happen.

Alyssa

It all comes to this: the simplest way to be happy is to do good.

If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

The struggle is part of the story.


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AUALIBRA's Photo AUALIBRA SparkPoints: (27,386)
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1/13/08 8:32 P

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Hi MRISS12, I hope you don't think me presumptuous but it seems like you're still hurting from the loss of the relationship.
It is something I am learning the hardway too and it sounds very cliche, but no person can make you happy. They can bring happiness to your life, but they cannot make you feel something you don't let them. So, the loneliness you're feeling might be simple sadness of not having him around. Perhaps you're still grieving and your heart is hurting. Another person can't make you feel lonely, though.
Allow yourself time to get over the relationship but don't halt your life in the meantime. Replace that longing for security with a quest to get healthy. I'm glad you've come here to SP where we will all be here to support you and to encourage you and to listen.

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MRISS12's Photo MRISS12 Posts: 25
1/13/08 7:55 P

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I had lost 20 pounds before going on sparkpeople, with the help of my ex fiance.
Now, it is so much harder to keep up with my goal without his support.
I guess the grass is always greener on the other side, but having that kind of security (i.e., being married, engaged, or in a long term relationship) would really help with the loneliness factor that is currently hindering my progress.

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CROTTY's Photo CROTTY Posts: 122,361
1/13/08 4:55 P

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SUZI-N - Keep on expressing and joining in on posts.
Glad you are happy, means a lot to us!

There Are No Accidents!
Tucson, Arizona
co-leader of:
Living With Bipolar & Losing Weight and Disabled

Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.
-- From an old English prayer.


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SUZI-N's Photo SUZI-N Posts: 12
1/13/08 4:23 P

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After reading everyones postings I find I am not so different than others. I have had weight issues all my life and as a young girl I noticed the pictures are like a yo-yo of my weight. My family relationships are at best tenuous and always have been. I have never felt that I "belonged" and I looking back this feeling of isolation and always looking in has lead me to keeping people at arms length. I went through several years of physical and mental abuse with the father of my daughter, and when I finally escaped that life it was like learning how to breath again, how to live again. Looking back I know I ate to hide what was going on in my life, ate to suppress all feelings. Now it is so very hard to let myself feel, to express how I am feeling and to let other people into my life. So loneliness to me is when I want to have others in my life but am afraid and then I eat. So I am found Spark and wow here I am for the first time expressing myself!

Edited by: SUZI-N at: 1/13/2008 (16:26)
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CROTTY's Photo CROTTY Posts: 122,361
1/13/08 4:11 P

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MRISS12 - Went to your page, you are only looking to lose 10 pounds and you are lovely. You can't tell me 10 pounds is keeping the men away?

There Are No Accidents!
Tucson, Arizona
co-leader of:
Living With Bipolar & Losing Weight and Disabled

Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.
-- From an old English prayer.


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CROTTY's Photo CROTTY Posts: 122,361
1/13/08 4:08 P

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MRISS12 - You don't know how happpy these people are, are they raising children heavy who will have happy lives, Are they happily married, or in their personal lives?
Now is the time to work on your weight-not tomorrow or the next day--log your food and exercise, exercise, exercise!If you cry, cry but don't eat, please. It isn't easy, it is a lot of work but what do you have to lose?


There Are No Accidents!
Tucson, Arizona
co-leader of:
Living With Bipolar & Losing Weight and Disabled

Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.
-- From an old English prayer.


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MRISS12's Photo MRISS12 Posts: 25
1/13/08 3:56 P

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Many of you are so lucky. You have husbands and wives and children who love you no matter your size. Being single doesn't have those kinds of advantages.
I'm not saying you can't be lonely when you're married. I just wish I had relationships like those for support.
Food is an easy alibi when you go to bed alone every night, wondering if your chance in finding someone has already passed. It just creates a lot of anxiety.

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CROTTY's Photo CROTTY Posts: 122,361
1/13/08 3:48 P

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REDROSE49 - You must have found some friends by now, so stop eating out. If not find a volunteer job.

There Are No Accidents!
Tucson, Arizona
co-leader of:
Living With Bipolar & Losing Weight and Disabled

Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.
-- From an old English prayer.


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REDROSE49 Posts: 145
1/13/08 3:00 P

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Come to think of it , my significant problem with overeating began many years ago when I moved 2000 miles from home to work. I knew noone, and when I felt really lonely one of the things I'd do, just to be around other people was to go out to eat a lot.

Redrose 49
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1/13/08 11:23 A

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Can you take yourself on long walks to explore the country you are in for only a year?

AUALIBRA's Photo AUALIBRA SparkPoints: (27,386)
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1/13/08 10:51 A

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Hi IWANTURSOUL, Indeed it is very difficult to become acclimated in a foreign country, especially when your knowledge of the language is limited.

I would suggest you find social clubs in your town. Perhaps there's a woman's right movement nearby. Or a charity that you are interested in. Regardless of the difficulty in communicating in their language, they would appreciate your support. You'll kill 3 birds with 1 stone: you'll get more practice with the language, you'll have people to connect with AND you'll be helping others.

Another idea is to search the area for English speaking pubs or cafes. Good luck!

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IWANTURSOUL Posts: 5
1/13/08 9:49 A

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So I need some good advice or tips on how to combate evening lonelyness and thus food consumption. I am a 20 year old english speaking woman living in Japan for the year. I am learning Japanese but my understanding of the langauge at this point only alows me very vague converstations do to my langauge barrier, so I dont have any real friends yet. Too everyone lives so far away in the city I am in that I dont really have anyone to hang out with in the evenings. I am also living in a small apartment by myself, I keep in touch with friends from my home country on the interent but due to the time change in my evenings they are not online. I find in the evening I end up over eating normal healthy food, or eating a tonne of sugary foods. I try to stop but I can only end up holding out for acouple of hours before I give into the bordome and overeat or go buy sugary junk. I need some tricks or tactics to go about not giving into the cravings. The cravings will last until I give into it, even if this means waiting hours. I cant get it to stop and Im even starting to get sugar head aches because I want the sugar. Help?...Sorry this is not a more organized paragraph....I really need help.

CROTTY's Photo CROTTY Posts: 122,361
1/12/08 1:10 P

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PUPPET51 - Beautiful, wonderfully written-very moving~~Thank You for sharing!

There Are No Accidents!
Tucson, Arizona
co-leader of:
Living With Bipolar & Losing Weight and Disabled

Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.
-- From an old English prayer.


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PUPPET51's Photo PUPPET51 Posts: 47
1/12/08 12:27 P

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loneliness at its worst is when in a relationship were conversation and communication has stopped..
when one has this black and white thinking that if this person does no longer want to be with us then there is no one else who will ever be willing to be with us..learning that this is just not true is the key to unlock the door out of the lonely room...
learning is an active process...to learn is to do ..I have allowed loneliness to paralize me in the past...accepting love and kindness ...reaching out with kindness is always repaid with kindness...and therein lies the beauty...I always say...never give expecting to get..keep giving..the act of giving with kindness is the greatest giftyou can give yourself...it soothes the soul...it makes you smile..it brings happiness to your heart...and with happiness in your heart you can not be lonely...cause you have love and happiness ..positive energy to all ..puppet51

I am a spiritual being, having a human experience...


 
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1/12/08 10:44 A

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Loneliness is a state of mind that affect us all differently.

There Are No Accidents!
Tucson, Arizona
co-leader of:
Living With Bipolar & Losing Weight and Disabled

Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.
-- From an old English prayer.


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CHERYLHURT SparkPoints: (135,397)
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1/12/08 10:25 A

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I have an older sister in Northern CA, a CPA who works all the time, and a younger sister who had lived 2 minutes from my parents house but refused to have ANY contact with my mother once she would not let her handle my parents money. My mom fell and called us 2 hours away because my sibling wouldn't help. The Lord put me here and gave me my mom to help and I realized lately I need to look at this as a blessing for all of us instead of a burden. My husband works pms and does TONS to help! He is what I think of whenever I read James 1, "every good and perfect gift is from God".

CHERYLEWITHANE's Photo CHERYLEWITHANE SparkPoints: (3,843)
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1/12/08 12:15 A

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Hi All...I am new here! Sometimes I am physically alone and not a bit lonely. As someone else said, I like my own company. Then other times I am with people I dearly love yet feeling a hollow lonliness. Sheesh.

I also think, for me, there are different types of lonliness. When I am more of a depressed, sad lonely, emoticon I don't tend to overeat. But when I feel that antsy, anxious lonliness emoticon I tend to want to eat everything that is not nailed down!!! Complex creatures we are. :)

Thanks for the important discussion.

Love from Oregon...

Cheryle emoticon

"The path before all of us sometimes is strewn with shards of glass and this world does not always provide strong, protective shoes. So as the poem "Footprints" says, God will carry me, when I cannot carry myself. He loves me enough to do that for me...I surrender this struggle and am crawling up into His arms." ~ Me, 1/14/2008


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CROTTY's Photo CROTTY Posts: 122,361
1/11/08 2:00 P

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CHERYLHURT - Don't you have any siblings? Is your husband sick?

There Are No Accidents!
Tucson, Arizona
co-leader of:
Living With Bipolar & Losing Weight and Disabled

Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.
-- From an old English prayer.


 current weight: 164.0 
 
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CHERYLHURT SparkPoints: (135,397)
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1/11/08 1:57 P

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My dad died 4 years ago and my mother's world was shattered. Then mom came to live with DH and me. My biggest fear is losing my dearly beloved husband. We are childless and he is my world. Sparks is such a great place to be able to go to and connect with people.

AUDIE40220's Photo AUDIE40220 SparkPoints: (17,136)
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1/10/08 11:15 P

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Corky you are loved.

Lord teach me to be a WOMAN OF GRACE witha HEART of COMPASSION, an ATTITUDE of MERCY, and a DISPOSITION of HUMILITY.


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AUALIBRA's Photo AUALIBRA SparkPoints: (27,386)
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1/10/08 6:06 P

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Corky, I'm sorry for your loss. I don't even want to pretend to understand what you feel or went through. You seem though like a strong person and I wish you the best of courage and perseverence to step over the pain and live your life like there's no tomorrow. I can't imagine your husband would have wanted anything else for you.

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SUZIESQ Posts: 28
1/10/08 5:19 P

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Corky i can understand what you are going through, in the last 6 years i have lost my marriage, and i have lost 6 dear friends to death, as well as a significant relationship and my job has been severed due to an injury which i am now back to school. It has been rough and with everything i have lost i eat to console myself. 2008 is going to be my year and now that i have found this site along with so many wonderful people i will succeed and you will to we will do this together giddy up
sue

 
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CORKYM13's Photo CORKYM13 SparkPoints: (8,397)
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1/10/08 3:00 P

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Thank you so much Crotty and Sarah for the kind words. I must admit it helped to finally express my feelings, I have been keeping it in for so long. Thanks for listening or should I say reading!!

I used to think that to be happy, I had to lose weight. What I learned is that to lose weight, I need to be happy.
"Life is managed; it is not cured." Learn to take charge of your life and hold on. This is a long ride, and you are the driver every single day. " (by Dr. Phil McGraw)
.* ) ..*) -::-
(. ;..♥ ..*) .*) .*)
(. *CORKY


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MILLER32807's Photo MILLER32807 Posts: 2,822
1/10/08 2:08 P

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CORKY, I just watched the movie PS I Love You and what you said reminds me of that movie. I left the theater in tears thinking how I don't want to even think of losing my hubby. In the movie, her husband was a great guy and she was having a hard time moving on. And I can imagine she (and you as well) have had so many moments where you are with people, but still are lonely. Especially when you are with couples, and you are alone. I'm glad that you found us, and that you shared with us. Hope you are recovering ok from your surgery also.

*SARAH*

START 215 lbs
GOAL 135 lbs


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CROTTY's Photo CROTTY Posts: 122,361
1/10/08 1:58 P

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CORKYM13 - Thanks for choosing SPARKS and EMOTIONAL EATERS to confide in. That is a compliment to us!

There Are No Accidents!
Tucson, Arizona
co-leader of:
Living With Bipolar & Losing Weight and Disabled

Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.
-- From an old English prayer.


 current weight: 164.0 
 
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CORKYM13's Photo CORKYM13 SparkPoints: (8,397)
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1/10/08 1:51 P

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Hi,
This has been a great page to read. Lot of thoughts and ideas!! Lets you know you are not alone in how you feel. There are many things my family as wonderful as they are just don't understand. I lost my husband 7 years ago now. The only way I could stay in my house was to have my daughter and her family move in. I did my down stairs over and I live down here. No one really understands how very difficult that was for me. I spent 27 years upstairs with my husband. To give up our bedroom, and just everything that we shared was aso hard to do. It is nice down here but small, I don't have the room I had upstairs, can't have plants cause it is too dark, just the little things. Of course I have gotten used to it and am greatful for my daughter and son-in-law being here, they are so good to me. Just wonder if anyone ever gives any thought as to how difficult it has been. Now I have Spark and I am on for endless hours. Retired December of 2006, had both knees replaced four months ago and feel likie with SPARK I can become the me I want to be. Thanks for listening. I have never expressed these feelings to anyone since I moved downstairs.

I used to think that to be happy, I had to lose weight. What I learned is that to lose weight, I need to be happy.
"Life is managed; it is not cured." Learn to take charge of your life and hold on. This is a long ride, and you are the driver every single day. " (by Dr. Phil McGraw)
.* ) ..*) -::-
(. ;..♥ ..*) .*) .*)
(. *CORKY


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MCBEAL311's Photo MCBEAL311 Posts: 446
1/10/08 10:43 A

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It's tough to battle lonliness but talking about it, recognizing it and addressing it will help tremendously! Challenging yourself everyday is an amazing thing...it helps to knock down that wall, little by little. I love this site, I learn so much from everyone and I've only been a member for a short period of time. This group is great because I don't feel so alone in my food issues. I can eat and eat and eat when I'm depressed or lonely, when I feel like there is no one to talk to or I had a bad day and feel like crap about something. This is why I am where I am with my weight. Thank you to everyone for sharing your thoughts! What a great group of people you all are!!! emoticon

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TRICITYLADYTN's Photo TRICITYLADYTN Posts: 224
1/10/08 9:19 A

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I live alone and my family lives 600 miles away. There are a lot of people like me in the US these days. I used to have my own forum on Delphi called "Table for one." I was looking for a team here on Sparks for people who live alone but as yet I have been unable to find one. If anybody knows of one, please let me know. If there isn't one, I would like to start one.
I think people who live alone face a unique set of challenges that it would be nice to share in a team discussion.

Team Leader, Table for One -- Spark Team for people who live alone.
CROTTY's Photo CROTTY Posts: 122,361
1/9/08 7:23 P

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SUZIESQ - If you are crazy, there are a lot of us "crazy" running around!

There Are No Accidents!
Tucson, Arizona
co-leader of:
Living With Bipolar & Losing Weight and Disabled

Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.
-- From an old English prayer.


 current weight: 164.0 
 
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SUZIESQ Posts: 28
1/9/08 5:23 P

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Finally i found others that feel as i have for many many years. I just thought i was crazy
This is absolutely wonderful
sue

 
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MILLER32807's Photo MILLER32807 Posts: 2,822
1/8/08 10:15 A

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That is so true. Often people do think that if you go hang out with people, that your loneliness will go away. It doesn't work that way. If its an internal thing you are battling, you will just tune them out for the most part anyway. It may help some, but it won't cure the problem.

I am dealing with lonely and loneliness at the moment. And sometimes it is hard to distinquish whether I'm wanting to eat out of boredom or if its my emotions that are going crazy. I definately know that I'm feeling some depression with my husband gone. He's that person I always want to be with, and we will also miss our first wedding anniversary because he will still be deployed, so alot of that is on my mind. And it is very hard to stop the munchies when I'm in one of those moods. Occasionally, just going to the movies or out to eat with my friends will help me feel better. But hanging out with friends will not stop me from feeling down.

*SARAH*

START 215 lbs
GOAL 135 lbs


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