Author: Sorting Last Post on Top ↓ Message:
CALLANNIE Posts: 2
7/18/10 5:50 A

Send Private Message
Reply
I can relate to what you girl's have been writing. That fridge sure look's more appealing than at other times does 't it?

I decided to lost weight a few months ago as I had a shock when the doctor weighed me. I've been reaching for the chocolate bars and bikkies for a few year's now. Due to a medical condition, break up of marriage and all the that goes with it, blah, blah. My sweet carbohydrate tooth struggles every day.

I had a healthy brekky today then walked for 70 minutes. That helped my mood. Then I did some gardening. When I don't feel good, like now, then it's hard to stay out the kitchen. I've succumbed to 2 muesli bars. Now I've jumped onto this website (I'm new!) I feel a little better already, and I haven't snacked on anything else.

You see, my medical condition has flared since lunchtime and is making my face look and feel like sunburn. I don't have a lot of friend's either. When I have a bad flare-up on my face I don't go out. So when I get a bit down, apart from the odd treat, I try and busy myself some other way involving keeping my hands/mind busy. When I slip up like today I now know I can (hopefully) manage to post a blog to you guys.

I don't have family so I can't jump in the car and go visit someone. I've done several education courses, and join free language internet sites. They're productive and I have less time to think about the fridge. Sometimes a good emotional cry can alleviate those lonely feelings. It really is OK to acknowledge your emotions. I try not to dwell on them though. I guess as an emotional eater, I have to "force" myself out of it.

Do any of you have people telling you to "get over it" or to "snap out of it"? I wonder if the people saying this realise how lucky they are not to feel this way sometimes. I say to all of us struggling everyday:

We are wonderful, and don't give in. Walk or sit somewhere that you can enjoy the beauty of nature. Feel the wind, hear the birds, see the flowers or waves. Wow, now you feel better and KNOW you're alive.

Edited by: CALLANNIE at: 7/18/2010 (06:01)
LORRELIS Posts: 208
6/22/10 11:32 P

Send Private Message
Reply
Yes, I have been struggling with boredom and loneliness for 9 years now and my weight has shown these negative emotions in a huge way.

I used to be very active and worked. Nine years ago I became disabled at a fairly early age. I had to move where it is cheaper. So there's no one up here I know. I'm single and my siblings mainly live in other states or far. So the physical contact I had in visiting them, is gone. Phone calls are too expensive, so they're gone. Some do not have email. No, I can't afford to move where my family and friends are, that's why I had to move away. It has been so long since I've seen so much of my family and friends, that I hate to say it but I forget my neices and nephews names and ages. So no one I know up here has a history with me. There's no connection. There's no one to share happy memories of when we used to......, remember such and such?.....etc. This makes me feel so alone like I moved to another country and I don't understand the language.

Because people my age are still working, the only people I can socialize with is older people. I have nothing in common with them. Because I live in a rural area, it's too far and isolated to drive long distances to any nighttime activities, social clubs, associations.

I find either older people, or just these people I associate with up here are obsessed with their ailments. It's always I'm sicker than you....you think you have it bad, I'm worse....etc. Constant competition amongst themselves. The shame is I don't know how sick these people really are based on how often their doctors want to see them (a lot of their doctors don't even want to see them as a follow-up, just for them to call if they have a problem), so how sick are these people if their doctors don't want to see them as a follow-up to whatever they are complaining about? So conversations are about pains, imagined or real, and constantly comparing each others medical problems. Very depressing.

Also, I don't know if it is these people, older people in general or a sign of the times, but no one seems to care about anyone but themselves. I don't remember that when I was younger. We would ask each other in work what are you going to do over the weekend, then on Monday everyone asked each other how was your plans for such-and-such. People were interested in each others lives. I find up here, if someone goes away for a 2 week vacation, no one even asks where are you going and doesn't ask how was your trip when the person comes back. If someone is talking, a conversation cannot go beyond 2 sentences before someone changes the topic to themselves. This further adds to no connection.

I find I have a lot of acquaintances up here, but no friends, and what's that old saying? no one is an island, but sometimes that's what I feel like, an island unto myself.

Yes, I keep up with people via email, but it's not the same thing. Sitting in someone's home and sharing, laughing, crying if need be, sharing hopes, dreams, fears, goals is so much more meaningful then to type it on a computer.

Life is full of adjustments, and I have tried to adjust to an uncooperative body, but my mind is still young, younger than my age, so I feel trapped in my body. My mind wants to go, my body won't allow me to.

Because of the medical problems, I'm home alone a lot. I am extremely grateful for my small condo, however, because it is small, I feel trapped especially in the winter when I hibernate because of the snow and ice.

I've had to give up so many of my beloved crafts I used to do because of problems with hands and fingers. Before, that used to be an outlet for me. I can no longer afford to decorate my place on a whim just because I saw something in the store that I liked. I can no longer go on vacations, buy a new car every year, go for massages, etc. etc. What I miss the most is I used to be the nut that decorated every inch of space for the Holidays. I don't decorate at all any more, physically it's too hard for me and there's no one to celebrate the Holidays with so it's just an emotional pain of what was and what is now. I don't even "qualify" to volunteer any where.

So I miss my past,I am not fulfilled emotionally in the present, and I try to not dwell negatively in the future because I don't know what the future holds. If I bought lottery tickets, which I don't, and won, I would have zillions of new found friends and long lost relatives! However, the lottery money would afford me the ability to move to a warmer climate where I can take short walks almost year round and perhaps the people would be more friendly than they are here.

Sorry for my rambling on, and I'm sorry I can't be of any help to you except for you to know you are not alone in your boredom and loneliness and your drug of choice - food - to self-medicate is so common for the vast majority of us.

Look at celebrities, you would think they have it all - fame, money, talent, beauty, etc. Yet, look at the overwhelming number of them that go for years of mental health counseling (one comedian recently said he goes weekly to a counselor, there was no way I expected to hear that from him). How many celebrities have problems with drugs, alcohol abuse and what not. Yes, some do it for the fun of it, but how many of them do it to mask unhappiness? How many of them have said they feel so alone even in a crowded room and they have no one they can trust.

Being single and alone is really not that bad when you compare it to unfortunate people who are stuck in terrible marriages and not only feel alone but trapped for whatever reason they cannot leave that marriage. I would much rather have my mental freedom, then to live in fear and abuse. I don't know your situations, but perhaps that's what you can concentrate on is how much worse your life can be.

Best Wishes to you.



GEMINI-SKY's Photo GEMINI-SKY SparkPoints: (172,204)
Fitness Minutes: (165,965)
Posts: 15,335
6/20/10 8:14 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Join a Bowling league, a walking group, a garden club. Get out and meet people. If you want something bad enough, you'll find a way.
(I hope that this doesn't sound blunt but...)

Patti / NE Ohio
Leader Putting Foods Up
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=13192


Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain. Vivian Greene

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.



 current weight: 179.8 
 
206
193.25
180.5
167.75
155
MARTY19's Photo MARTY19 Posts: 53,177
6/19/10 8:01 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I get on the phone and chat with my sister. I doesn't matter about what, it takes mind off being bored.

Marty
Eastern Standard time
Massachusetts

Spark People Motivator

There are two options regarding committment - your either IN or your OUT. There is no such thing as life in-between.

A person who wants something will find a way..
A person who doesn't will find an excuse...



 Pounds lost: 29.6 
 
0
15
30
45
60
BETRME100's Photo BETRME100 SparkPoints: (86,423)
Fitness Minutes: (108,027)
Posts: 17,654
6/19/10 7:11 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Well...of course, logging on to SparkPeople helps...but I do understand about not being able to do so at work (I can't either)...one of the things that I've learned to do is to just tell myself "stop"...then really begin noticing the things around me (mindfulness, I guess), then just practicing gratitude for what I'm seeing (could be some flowers I notice, the beautiful clouds in the sky, a little kid giggling, the birds, music I hear, the fact that I actually have a job when so many people don't, the way my body supports me in all that I do...and on and on)...only you can notice all that you have in your life to be thankful for...and once you start paying attention and acknowledging how much you really have, it really lifts your spirits. In the past I always kind of poo pooed this idea, but once I started practicing it on a regular basis, I saw how much it helped me...try it, what have you got to lose?

Wishing you the best as you continue this adventure that is your life!!

KIt

Kit

Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor.
Jackson Brown

Co-leader Bloomington,IN Spark team



 current weight: 266.0 
 
287
252.75
218.5
184.25
150
CATHYCOUNTS's Photo CATHYCOUNTS Posts: 373
6/18/10 10:19 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I do understand that you can not access SP, but because I know you believe on the Lord Jesus, You know that He will not fail you. Call out to him, tell him you are lonely, sad or whatever it is that you are going through at the time and ask Him to take this feeling or thing you are dealing with away and replace it with a positive thought. I would do this when I was laid up this winter and by myself and going through a pretty emotional time. I just would lean on Him and ask for comfort and I would notice about 10-15 minutes later I was feeling better. Have you heard of the train. Faith, Facts, Feelings. Feelings is the caboose the train will still move forward without the caboose. But with the caboose in front the engine can not move. Faith is the engine in which we move.

Hope this helps,
Cathy

Giving up is not an option, But for the grace of God there go I.

When I am weak he (God) is strong.



 current weight: 193.0 
 
207
192.75
178.5
164.25
150
MHYATT107's Photo MHYATT107 Posts: 187
6/18/10 9:40 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I added you cathy, But my problem is, I wish there was a way I could access SparkPeople at work. I work in a mill/factory I don't have the greatest cell phone and well that would be my only way. If there was a way I could connect to here all day long no matter where I am, I would be so relieved it would help

Whatever you ask for in prayer,
believe that you have received it,
and it will be yours. (NIV)
Mark 11:24


I only take one day at a time, and not worry about the past. Right now is what is important.


One person said to me, "if you don't try, you have lost nothing, but if you do try, then you have gained confidence to do better"


 current weight: 197.0 
 
198
186
174
162
150
CATHYCOUNTS's Photo CATHYCOUNTS Posts: 373
6/18/10 9:32 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Being alone seems to be a big one for us that do not have a support system in place. But, that is one reason I think that sparkpeolpe is such a great tool. If anyone out there in sparkpeolpe land would like someone to talk with add me as a friend and lets help each other.

Giving up is not an option, But for the grace of God there go I.

When I am weak he (God) is strong.



 current weight: 193.0 
 
207
192.75
178.5
164.25
150
MHYATT107's Photo MHYATT107 Posts: 187
6/18/10 9:05 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I have found it is helpful to log into here and read the boards, blogs, etc. but there are times I am out there at work or somewhere and something gets me.
Like just a few moments ago I was at wal-mart and my brother caused a huge scene. We are not really on good terms because of his negativity towards me but it makes it so hard when its family. Its like a roller coaster and when I get to the going down part it really gets me down.
I will start to feel horrible and I don't want to do anything, and I mean anything. I will either sit there and eat the whole box of wheat thins instead of the amount I am supposed to have. Before I know it I have done blew it.
It really sucks because I really want support from my family. But with that being all the family I got. I am more or less alone.
My friends are so busy and if I call on them I feel like I am burdening them with my complaining. There isn't really any support there at all.
This is a tough one.

Whatever you ask for in prayer,
believe that you have received it,
and it will be yours. (NIV)
Mark 11:24


I only take one day at a time, and not worry about the past. Right now is what is important.


One person said to me, "if you don't try, you have lost nothing, but if you do try, then you have gained confidence to do better"


 current weight: 197.0 
 
198
186
174
162
150
JERRIRUSH's Photo JERRIRUSH Posts: 18
6/18/10 8:28 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I feel that way a lot of times, and really I have no friends that I can call upon when I get like that. I try my best to remember why I'm trying to get healthy... for my two little boys. But even in thinking about that I feel lost because of some medical issues with one of my sons. I just know that I have to do this for the right reasons. I log into spark people every day and read through the message boards for motivation or to read other stories of people having the same problems I am having. That normally will spark something in me to get my mind back on track. If that doesn't work, then I put in my headphones and walk.... doesn't matter where I walk or how far I walk as long as I'm walking and just letting music flow into my head to get rid of all the things that are getting me down. I don't know if this will help you any, but I figured I'd share just in case. Good luck!

Jerri

Mom to Johnathan, Tobias, and Evangeline

Wife to John

Beginning 237
Goal 143


 current weight: 251.6 
 
252
249
246
243
240
HAWTLIKEME's Photo HAWTLIKEME SparkPoints: (21,277)
Fitness Minutes: (21,482)
Posts: 894
6/18/10 8:20 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
ONe of my worst emotional triggers, I've found is the combination of feeling at a loose end and being alone. Anyone else struggle with this and if so, got any great strategies to share?

Though we cannot control the winds, we can adjust the sails.

Vic



 current weight: 186.0 
 
226
207
188
169
150
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other Emotional Eaters MEMBERS NEW TOPICS Posts

Topics: Last Post:
Is eating when you're sleepy a form of emotional ? 1/2/2014 3:27:46 AM
Book Discussion: The Emotional Eater's Repair Manu 5/19/2014 7:37:16 PM
Changing and Developing Habits 10/31/2014 10:29:00 PM
text alert on bf phone = me eat 3/12/2014 8:17:19 PM
Here come the Holidays.... 10/21/2014 11:44:14 AM

Thread URL: http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=2662x439x34890737

Review our Community Guidelines




x Lose 10 Pounds by February 6! Get a FREE Personalized Plan