Author: Sorting Last Post on Top ↓ Message:
BUBBLEGUM_FAIRY's Photo BUBBLEGUM_FAIRY Posts: 1,126
5/21/14 6:50 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
In the theme of weight loss, I found these:


I don't exercise at all.If God had wanted me to touch my toes
He would have put them up higher on my body.

YOU KNOW IT’S TIME TO DIET AND EXERCISE WHEN......

You try to do a few push ups and discover that certain body parts refuse to leave the floor....
You get winded just saying the words "ten-kilometer run."

DIET RIDDLE: Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A MAN WHO ABANDONED HIS STRICT DIET?

A: DESSERTER!

DIET POLICE: How's your new diet coming along?
Hoss: Not so good. I'm sneaking too many snacks between meals.
DIET POLICE: Have you gained weight?
Hoss: No, but I spent so much time last night poking my head in the refrigerator, my nose got frostbite.


*~*Amy*~*

Proud to be a Sunny Gal!

"Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old." -Ralph Waldo Emerson



 Pounds lost: 18.0 
 
0
52
104
156
208
WILDKAT781's Photo WILDKAT781 SparkPoints: (127,226)
Fitness Minutes: (28,193)
Posts: 7,848
10/18/13 10:59 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
love that one!!!! emoticon


What did the traffic light say to the car?



Don't look, I'm changing.

Kathy from southern West Virginia

Leader - Class Of 2006


 current weight: 385.0 
 
426
364.5
303
241.5
180
REDFEATHERBOA SparkPoints: (11,698)
Fitness Minutes: (5,545)
Posts: 1,713
10/18/13 2:48 A

Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon
Q. What did SpongeBob’s mother say to him when he failed his driving test again?
A. Soak it up

Leader: Chocolate & Peanut Butter Lovers Unite!
teams.sparkpeople.com/Chocolate.and.
Peanut.Butter.Lovers.Unite


 current weight: 172.0 
 
186
172.75
159.5
146.25
133
WILDKAT781's Photo WILDKAT781 SparkPoints: (127,226)
Fitness Minutes: (28,193)
Posts: 7,848
10/17/13 7:57 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

What do you get when you cross a sheep and a bee?



A bah-humbug.

Kathy from southern West Virginia

Leader - Class Of 2006


 current weight: 385.0 
 
426
364.5
303
241.5
180
REDFEATHERBOA SparkPoints: (11,698)
Fitness Minutes: (5,545)
Posts: 1,713
10/17/13 3:20 A

Send Private Message
Reply
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me emoticon


Leader: Chocolate & Peanut Butter Lovers Unite!
teams.sparkpeople.com/Chocolate.and.
Peanut.Butter.Lovers.Unite


 current weight: 172.0 
 
186
172.75
159.5
146.25
133
WILDKAT781's Photo WILDKAT781 SparkPoints: (127,226)
Fitness Minutes: (28,193)
Posts: 7,848
10/16/13 6:03 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

Kathy from southern West Virginia

Leader - Class Of 2006


 current weight: 385.0 
 
426
364.5
303
241.5
180
REDFEATHERBOA SparkPoints: (11,698)
Fitness Minutes: (5,545)
Posts: 1,713
10/16/13 2:41 A

Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

Why are pirates called pirates?

'Coz they aarrgghh! emoticon

Leader: Chocolate & Peanut Butter Lovers Unite!
teams.sparkpeople.com/Chocolate.and.
Peanut.Butter.Lovers.Unite


 current weight: 172.0 
 
186
172.75
159.5
146.25
133
WILDKAT781's Photo WILDKAT781 SparkPoints: (127,226)
Fitness Minutes: (28,193)
Posts: 7,848
10/15/13 8:16 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

How much does a pirate pay for corn?


A buccaneer!

Kathy from southern West Virginia

Leader - Class Of 2006


 current weight: 385.0 
 
426
364.5
303
241.5
180
REDFEATHERBOA SparkPoints: (11,698)
Fitness Minutes: (5,545)
Posts: 1,713
10/15/13 2:49 A

Send Private Message
Reply
What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh!!! emoticon

Leader: Chocolate & Peanut Butter Lovers Unite!
teams.sparkpeople.com/Chocolate.and.
Peanut.Butter.Lovers.Unite


 current weight: 172.0 
 
186
172.75
159.5
146.25
133
WILDKAT781's Photo WILDKAT781 SparkPoints: (127,226)
Fitness Minutes: (28,193)
Posts: 7,848
10/12/13 5:09 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

Kathy from southern West Virginia

Leader - Class Of 2006


 current weight: 385.0 
 
426
364.5
303
241.5
180
REDFEATHERBOA SparkPoints: (11,698)
Fitness Minutes: (5,545)
Posts: 1,713
10/12/13 3:32 A

Send Private Message
Reply
A werewolf joke
What do you call a werewolf that drinks too much?
A whino!


Leader: Chocolate & Peanut Butter Lovers Unite!
teams.sparkpeople.com/Chocolate.and.
Peanut.Butter.Lovers.Unite


 current weight: 172.0 
 
186
172.75
159.5
146.25
133
WILDKAT781's Photo WILDKAT781 SparkPoints: (127,226)
Fitness Minutes: (28,193)
Posts: 7,848
10/11/13 1:31 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

Kathy from southern West Virginia

Leader - Class Of 2006


 current weight: 385.0 
 
426
364.5
303
241.5
180
BUBBLEGUM_FAIRY's Photo BUBBLEGUM_FAIRY Posts: 1,126
10/11/13 1:25 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Halloween Jokes:

What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost?
Fasten your sheet belt.

What is a witch with poison ivy called?
An itchy witchy.

Why are black cats such good singers?
They're very mewsical.

What's a cold, evil candle called?
The wicked wick of the north.

How can you tell when windows are scared?
They get shudders.

Why wasn't the vampire working?
He was on his coffin break.

What's a goblin's favorite flavor?
Lemon n' Slime.

What instrument does a skeleton play?
A trombone.

What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.

How do ghosts begin letters?
Tomb it may concern...

What do you call a person who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer.

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.

What does a vampire fear most?
Tooth decay.

What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
Don't spook until your spooken to.

What song does Dracula hate?
"You Are My Sunshine" and "Sunshine on my Shoulders.

What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates.

What kind of shoes does a baby ghost wear?
Booties

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

*~*Amy*~*

Proud to be a Sunny Gal!

"Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old." -Ralph Waldo Emerson



 Pounds lost: 18.0 
 
0
52
104
156
208
REDFEATHERBOA SparkPoints: (11,698)
Fitness Minutes: (5,545)
Posts: 1,713
10/3/13 5:01 A

Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

Where do cows go on holiday?.............

Moo York!!

Leader: Chocolate & Peanut Butter Lovers Unite!
teams.sparkpeople.com/Chocolate.and.
Peanut.Butter.Lovers.Unite


 current weight: 172.0 
 
186
172.75
159.5
146.25
133
WILDKAT781's Photo WILDKAT781 SparkPoints: (127,226)
Fitness Minutes: (28,193)
Posts: 7,848
9/29/13 7:55 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
you'd think LOL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do lawyers
wear to court?

Lawsuits!

Kathy from southern West Virginia

Leader - Class Of 2006


 current weight: 385.0 
 
426
364.5
303
241.5
180
REDFEATHERBOA SparkPoints: (11,698)
Fitness Minutes: (5,545)
Posts: 1,713
9/26/13 3:24 A

Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon
Two blondes walk into a building……….you’d think at least one of them would have seen it.

Leader: Chocolate & Peanut Butter Lovers Unite!
teams.sparkpeople.com/Chocolate.and.
Peanut.Butter.Lovers.Unite


 current weight: 172.0 
 
186
172.75
159.5
146.25
133
WILDKAT781's Photo WILDKAT781 SparkPoints: (127,226)
Fitness Minutes: (28,193)
Posts: 7,848
9/24/13 9:30 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
What do you do when you see a spaceman?

PARK YOUR CAR, MAN

Kathy from southern West Virginia

Leader - Class Of 2006


 current weight: 385.0 
 
426
364.5
303
241.5
180
WILDKAT781's Photo WILDKAT781 SparkPoints: (127,226)
Fitness Minutes: (28,193)
Posts: 7,848
9/22/13 7:50 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Why do milking stools only have three legs?


'Cause the cow's got the udder!

Kathy from southern West Virginia

Leader - Class Of 2006


 current weight: 385.0 
 
426
364.5
303
241.5
180
DRAGON-CHICK's Photo DRAGON-CHICK Posts: 1,976
9/22/13 5:07 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
OMG! I almost choked on my coffee! Still laughing over that one!!! Thank you!


Why can't a bike keep up with a car?
It's two tired.


My journey towards better health and better writing:
mfwrites.wordpress.com/
Please come cheer me on!


 Pounds lost: 7.0 
 
0
25
50
75
100
REDFEATHERBOA SparkPoints: (11,698)
Fitness Minutes: (5,545)
Posts: 1,713
9/22/13 2:00 A

Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon
'Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese, and there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them.

'It’s either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it’s Colin.'
emoticon




Leader: Chocolate & Peanut Butter Lovers Unite!
teams.sparkpeople.com/Chocolate.and.
Peanut.Butter.Lovers.Unite


 current weight: 172.0 
 
186
172.75
159.5
146.25
133
WILDKAT781's Photo WILDKAT781 SparkPoints: (127,226)
Fitness Minutes: (28,193)
Posts: 7,848
9/21/13 11:07 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon

What kind of horses go out after dusk?




Nightmares!

Kathy from southern West Virginia

Leader - Class Of 2006


 current weight: 385.0 
 
426
364.5
303
241.5
180
REDFEATHERBOA SparkPoints: (11,698)
Fitness Minutes: (5,545)
Posts: 1,713
9/21/13 9:14 A

Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon
What do you get if you run in front of a car? Tired!
What do you get if you run behind a car? Exhausted! emoticon

Leader: Chocolate & Peanut Butter Lovers Unite!
teams.sparkpeople.com/Chocolate.and.
Peanut.Butter.Lovers.Unite


 current weight: 172.0 
 
186
172.75
159.5
146.25
133
WILDKAT781's Photo WILDKAT781 SparkPoints: (127,226)
Fitness Minutes: (28,193)
Posts: 7,848
9/20/13 12:55 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?






THEY KEPT DROPPING THEIR TRUNKS!

Kathy from southern West Virginia

Leader - Class Of 2006


 current weight: 385.0 
 
426
364.5
303
241.5
180
REDFEATHERBOA SparkPoints: (11,698)
Fitness Minutes: (5,545)
Posts: 1,713
9/20/13 2:24 A

Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon
What dog can jump higher than a building?
Anydog, buildings can't jump! emoticon

Leader: Chocolate & Peanut Butter Lovers Unite!
teams.sparkpeople.com/Chocolate.and.
Peanut.Butter.Lovers.Unite


 current weight: 172.0 
 
186
172.75
159.5
146.25
133
WILDKAT781's Photo WILDKAT781 SparkPoints: (127,226)
Fitness Minutes: (28,193)
Posts: 7,848
9/19/13 12:51 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
that's cute!!!! LOL

What washes up on tiny beaches?






MICROWAVES!

Kathy from southern West Virginia

Leader - Class Of 2006


 current weight: 385.0 
 
426
364.5
303
241.5
180
REDFEATHERBOA SparkPoints: (11,698)
Fitness Minutes: (5,545)
Posts: 1,713
9/19/13 8:40 A

Send Private Message
Reply
What did the dog say when it sat on sandpaper?
Ruff!
emoticon

Leader: Chocolate & Peanut Butter Lovers Unite!
teams.sparkpeople.com/Chocolate.and.
Peanut.Butter.Lovers.Unite


 current weight: 172.0 
 
186
172.75
159.5
146.25
133
WILDKAT781's Photo WILDKAT781 SparkPoints: (127,226)
Fitness Minutes: (28,193)
Posts: 7,848
9/3/13 4:34 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
What's brown and sticky?






A stick.

emoticon

Kathy from southern West Virginia

Leader - Class Of 2006


 current weight: 385.0 
 
426
364.5
303
241.5
180
ILOVEMALI's Photo ILOVEMALI Posts: 1,273
9/3/13 1:08 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you just might find that you get what you need. -- Stones, claro


 Pounds lost: 7.0 
 
0
2.25
4.5
6.75
9
WILDKAT781's Photo WILDKAT781 SparkPoints: (127,226)
Fitness Minutes: (28,193)
Posts: 7,848
9/2/13 8:27 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
What type of music do mummies listen to?



WRAP MUSIC!

emoticon

Kathy from southern West Virginia

Leader - Class Of 2006


 current weight: 385.0 
 
426
364.5
303
241.5
180
BUBBLEGUM_FAIRY's Photo BUBBLEGUM_FAIRY Posts: 1,126
9/2/13 8:20 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

*~*Amy*~*

Proud to be a Sunny Gal!

"Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old." -Ralph Waldo Emerson



 Pounds lost: 18.0 
 
0
52
104
156
208
NANCYPAT1's Photo NANCYPAT1 Posts: 44,815
9/1/13 7:31 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Those are REALLY silly - laughing aloud.

With love and caring from Nancy ... wishing all of you a wonderful, blessed, and precious day.



 current weight: 238.0 
 
350
300
250
200
150
WILDKAT781's Photo WILDKAT781 SparkPoints: (127,226)
Fitness Minutes: (28,193)
Posts: 7,848
9/1/13 7:12 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon

ok - here is my feeble attempt


What do calendars eat? = Dates!

Kathy from southern West Virginia

Leader - Class Of 2006


 current weight: 385.0 
 
426
364.5
303
241.5
180
DRAGON-CHICK's Photo DRAGON-CHICK Posts: 1,976
9/1/13 6:24 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Q: When should you go to the dentist?

A: 2:30.


My journey towards better health and better writing:
mfwrites.wordpress.com/
Please come cheer me on!


 Pounds lost: 7.0 
 
0
25
50
75
100
NANCYPAT1's Photo NANCYPAT1 Posts: 44,815
9/1/13 4:52 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Don't have one yet but really giggled over yours - thanks for sharing them.

With love and caring from Nancy ... wishing all of you a wonderful, blessed, and precious day.



 current weight: 238.0 
 
350
300
250
200
150
BUBBLEGUM_FAIRY's Photo BUBBLEGUM_FAIRY Posts: 1,126
9/1/13 2:51 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Feel free to share a fun joke. Or read to just put a smile on your face.

(just make sure not to post anything offensive & be in limits)

Corny but Cute:

Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An Impasta

Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world? A: A stamp.

Q: Why did the birdie go to the hospital? A: To get a tweetment.

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator

Q: Did you hear about that new broom? A: It's sweeping the nation

Q: Why did the belt get locked up? A: He held up a pair of pants.
'
Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? A: "Where’s Popcorn?



*~*Amy*~*

Proud to be a Sunny Gal!

"Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old." -Ralph Waldo Emerson



 Pounds lost: 18.0 
 
0
52
104
156
208
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other Cinderella Sparklers Fun & Games Posts

Topics: Last Post:
Disney princess quiz 1/2/2014 11:24:33 AM

Thread URL: http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=26424x60518x54740752

Review our Community Guidelines