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Never Known a Normal Weight

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  FORUM:   Other topics of interest
TOPIC:   Perfectionism 


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EMMALOU55
EMMALOU55's Photo Posts: 2,102
6/18/10 5:20 A

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This is a real problem with me. I expect perfectionism in myself, especially at work. My inner voice is often my worst enemy. I am harder on myself than any of my friends are on me.

I'm Healthy, I'm Happy, I'm Fit!

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Motivated to keep moving!


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BEEWHATIAM
BEEWHATIAM's Photo Posts: 1,322
5/19/10 10:46 P

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I realize this topic is over 2 yrs. old, but it is so relevant to why we are overweight. Hope to see other posts here. There was a time that I would have argued about being a perfectionist, but after being in a group discussion about it one time, my eyes were opened. My being perfect is not that everything around me is in perfect order, it is quite the opposite. I can have so much in front of me to accomplish, but if I don't have the time or means to do it perfect, I'll leave it go until that moment arrives. All it does is keep me in a mess. I've improved over the years, but I can still see it in my self.
Bee


My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. . . . For when I am weak, then I am made strong. 2 Cor. 12:9 & 10

GW 299 7/4/10


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GOTTAWANNAWIN
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2/7/08 9:36 P

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I think this is exactly why I can never stick to counting calories(or anything else related to eating food) because I always feel it has to be exactly so or else "I've failed, so I'll just start tomorrow"...

I'm sure that's why I gave up on dieting.

"The tragedy in life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach."
Benjamin Mays

"Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage, the shorter the trip."
Arnold H. Glasgow


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YAEL0770
YAEL0770's Photo Posts: 46
2/1/08 8:49 A

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B"H

I have to confess I also have this streak of perfectionism/craziness. I get horrible anxiety about screwing up. I'm a chef and I am constantly being rated on a 1-5 system. I am so passionate about what I do and how it appeals to my guests- oy...

When I am about to start my baking duties I get really nervous- baking takes a completely different part of my brain than cooking or meal prep.

I also can't seem to feed myself properly unless my house is clean and I don't even start in the kitchen until it is spotless. The hubby works from home and I hate coming home to cluttered counters and dishes in the sink. Many of a meal has been delayed or aborted since I can't get past getting it in order first. Oy...

The Lubavitcher Rebbe teaches us in the name of the Baal Shem Tov:

Be simple, be earnest and spread that simplicity throughout everything you do. Simplicity is a receptacle for G-d's simple Oneness.


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SHIELDMAIDEN96
SHIELDMAIDEN96's Photo SparkPoints: (0)
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1/28/08 8:38 A

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Renee said:
"also there is the need to be the best at things because I feel like I have to make up for my size by being the best at whatever."

Renee, that is it. I have never heard anyone actually articulate that before but its true and I've done it my whole life. Its like 'apologizing through excellence'. Yikes, yikes, yikes.


If you think of this world as a place intended simply for our happiness, you will find it quite intolerable. Think of it as a place of training and correction and its not so bad.

-CS Lewis
*~*~*~*~*~*
My blog about everything else: www.northernoutpostpa.blogspot.com


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DR.LIZ
DR.LIZ's Photo Posts: 765
1/26/08 8:45 A

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For me I think perfectionism relates to self-criticism. Ironically, I think of that Muppet character Don Music, who would make a little mistake and slam his head on the piano - "Oh, I'll never get it right! Never! Never! Never!" And of course, eventually he did. I laugh at that but it's exactly how I feel around weight loss. I'll never get it.

Right now I'm just trying to hang on to "getting it" for today. A major challenge for me. I always face the day with some trepidation because once I start eating it's like "Let the Games Begin!"
emoticon

"If not now, when?" - The Talmud


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CHRIS2365
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1/25/08 10:54 A

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Oh my gosh, I HATE being criticized! When I was growing up, I was pretty much ignored by most of my family. I was the little girl, about 10 years younger than my four teenage brothers and sisters. As long as I stayed quiet and out of the way, I flew under the radar. I wasn't criticized by anyone and being the smart, good girl was my identity when I was little. Later I became the smart-ass, smart one, but that's another story.

Even now, I want to be the BEST at anything I honestly attempt. I also try to be self-aware enough that I know what I did wrong before anyone can criticize. When I started writing, it was so hard for me to learn to accept even editing.

This is to the point where last Sunday I took a 7-hour watercolor painting class by a brilliant artist in our area. Even though I had never done watercolors before and most everyone else in the class were artists, I honestly was disappointed that my efforts weren't more professional! Crazy high expectations of myself! Ha!

Most of the time I stride through life confident enough and self-aware enough people are afraid to criticize. If I do something wrong, I'm up front about it before anyone else can say anything. It's a defensive mechanism but it seems to be working so far. emoticon

If hunger isn't the problem, food isn't the answer.


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RAINBODRAGON
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1/25/08 10:30 A

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I hate being corrected, even if I know I did something wrong and its said in the kindest way, I feel my face get hot and red and I am embarrassed and mad at myself. I think for me I work very hard to blend into the woodwork and being call out on a mistake is calling attention to me that I dont want. also there is the need to be the best at things because I feel like I have to make up for my size by being the best at whatever.

renee

I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.
-Douglas Adams



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SHIELDMAIDEN96
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1/23/08 12:06 P

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I just wanted to come back and share that last night I was back on duty with some of the same people. You know what? For them, the incident was over when it was over. I, however, punished myself for a whole weekend, got depressed, imagined all this conflict in my head that never took place, convinced myself they all hated me and that I really don't have the skills to do this job, blah blah blah blah.
For no reason whatsoever.
Which just goes to show you; don't be your own biggest accuser. Believing that we are worthless if we fail is believing a lie.
Anyway, I learned. And I'm grateful for that.

If you think of this world as a place intended simply for our happiness, you will find it quite intolerable. Think of it as a place of training and correction and its not so bad.

-CS Lewis
*~*~*~*~*~*
My blog about everything else: www.northernoutpostpa.blogspot.com


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MRSRAP07
MRSRAP07's Photo Posts: 138
1/20/08 10:34 A

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I know exactly what you mean. I just recently started a new job in December at a nursing home as a Diet Aide. Which means that I set up the trays and the dining rooms for the residents and generally set up desserts and such.
Before this I used to work with animals, and I had done that for 6 years. So this job was a total 360 for me. But I get so anxious before I go to work to the point that I have nightmares about continuously (sp?) screwing up at work. They are awful! I've never experienced such a thing. But I know it's because it's a new job and they continue to put me on different positions that I pretty much have to learn myself. But I want to do such a good job and I just feel so down about it because I don't feel properly trained.
So I totally get what you mean about the perfectionism thing, I've always been the best when I worked with dogs, but times are a changing and trying to be the best at something new is really getting me down.

-Amy

Life Is Good!


 
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CHULL740
CHULL740's Photo Posts: 2,982
1/19/08 11:49 P

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I have had problems with perfectionism too. I kind of got past it when my children were small but now that they are older, old habits are creeping back. I have a feeling that I will need to re-assess my habits yet again!


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SHIELDMAIDEN96
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1/19/08 8:19 P

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I had an experience today where, on an ambulance call, I made a mistake.
This wasn't a patient care mistake, it was more of a protocol/procedure/the way we do things around here mistake. My crew explained it to me when we got back. They had a good point and I understood what I had done.
What is interesting is how I reacted. I thought about it and experienced a ridiculous level of anxiety followed by a crashing black mood. Ironically, the little magazine I get from a program I follow that I found on the kitchen table later was all about perfectionism. I realize that my extreme anxiety and depression had mostly to do with not wanting to make mistakes. Wanting to avoid conflict and unpleasant experiences by being perfect.

I can't honestly say I am awash in peace admitting it, but I recognize that it is perfectionism that informed my reaction, which then quickly sifted down to the rest of my day. I had to weigh and measure and precisely record my food. And in general, I've been miserable company. But I'm trying to learn from my perfectionism and do better.

What about you? Is perfectionism something you've struggled with? I'm interested to hear your thoughts. (Translated: pls. make me feel better!) emoticon

If you think of this world as a place intended simply for our happiness, you will find it quite intolerable. Think of it as a place of training and correction and its not so bad.

-CS Lewis
*~*~*~*~*~*
My blog about everything else: www.northernoutpostpa.blogspot.com


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