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TOPIC:   Help! Sunday with the in-laws!!! 


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UNCOMMONANGEL
UNCOMMONANGEL's Photo Posts: 283
1/13/11 12:27 A

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I have the same issues with inlaws... For Thanksgiving, I simply ate RIGHT before we left, and then just ate what I "could". Turkey, a couple pieces of sweet potatoe plain (I really don't like them actually) and that was that. Ate when I got home though, you bet! lol I was okay with things, and they actually ignored me the whole evening (which was FINE by me... oh, but since I worked nights for the last 16yrs, I fell ASLEEP for a few hours and that was even LESS time I had to cope!!!)
...Hey, I recommend it to anyone, it really works! :p
For a b-day party at "other" inlaws (divorce in there) wasn't so purdy... was a couple months prior, before my hubby had a chance to get "okay" with my diet. It was terrible... as MIL was giving me a hard time about "aren't you going to eat ANYTHING?" my dear hubby walked over and stood next to me and proceeded to drill me food item by item on the table about WHY I couldn't eat THAT ... or THAT ... RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER! ...and then proceeded to roll his eyes when I tried to explain. I am rather proud that he has matured since then... a bit... and I'm not so scared to go out somewhere to eat if I HAVE to... he will back me up. If not in front of everyone, then before and after. lol ...hey, he's still a GUY. :p


Edited by: UNCOMMONANGEL at: 1/13/2011 (00:29)

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EVELYNF
EVELYNF's Photo SparkPoints: (11,944)
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1/10/11 6:40 P

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yikes, I count my blessings everyday that I have great in-laws.



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LEIGHOC
LEIGHOC's Photo Posts: 355
1/10/11 5:04 P

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It was fine. Of course MIL said how wonderful my DH looks, no mention of me what so ever. They actually managed to serve a (very) small salad, which I could have had a lot more of, but there was only 1 serving per person. We ate as soon as we got there so i didn't have to stare at the cheese and crackers for an hour. And i wasn't tempted at all by the deserts. In fact I even took over my left over ginger bread cookies and they ate almost all of them. I mailed the rest to my sister today so they are out of my life! The lasagna wasn't home made, I don't think. And i had a very small piece. It was okay, I don't think there was any meat in it... I don't remember there being any (that's how not good it was. LOL! I don't even remember if there was meat in it!) Then when DH went to the bathroom, MIL leaned over to me and in a hushed voice asked "is he eating? Is he alright? He is very skinny." (and he didn't take seconds on your lousy lasagna or eat desert so CLEARLY he must be sick. god.) so I said "No. He's fine. He eats all the time. I know this b/c I cook all his meals." to which she responded "Well he looks very skinny." to which I responded "Well don't say that to him, because it will upset him if you do."
Ugh. so how'd it go??? For us, pretty well. LOL!


"I can speak so softly because I have so much power."
"I am woman, hear me roar."

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EVELYNF
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1/10/11 2:21 P

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How did it go??



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LEIGHOC
LEIGHOC's Photo Posts: 355
1/9/11 8:47 A

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Okay. I know you are all waiting to know what I've decided to do. (haha) I've decided that since I didn't prepare anything to take along, I'm going to bite the bullet, eat the food, count the calories the best I can do and not worry about it. I will eat a clean snack b4 I go and that's it. I can't get all hyper about this or it's going to stress me out. Thanks for all the suggestions though. I really do appreciate it!

"I can speak so softly because I have so much power."
"I am woman, hear me roar."

Team Leader: Going Minimalist www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=52276


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USE2BAGODDESS
USE2BAGODDESS's Photo Posts: 2,703
1/8/11 3:51 P

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Forgot to add to Spaghetti Recipe:

3T of Italian herbs soaked in 2T olive oil.

I usually let it sit overnight when possible, but it is ok to add to sauce. Just give it time to simmer and soak in. Yum!

I was downstairs in the kitchen and thought about the sauce and then remembered I forgot to tell you about the herbs! I had to run upstairs and post. If you make the sauce I hope you check in firstemoticon

sorry.


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LEIGHOC
LEIGHOC's Photo Posts: 355
1/7/11 6:03 P

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hahahaha!!!! Not allowed to cook for them for 3 years!!! That is HE-LAR-I-OUS! Thanks for all of your suggestions. I have mellowed as I've aged. In the past I would have done a "I don't eat that" thing. Now I really try (for my husbands sake) to be more gracious. Even if she is being rude, i don't want to go to her level. And I don't want to make my DH feel worse about the situation. After all, it is his mother. There are MANY times I don't go and he does. They don't really want to see me anyways, they just want to see him. I'm fine with that, really. I've come to terms with it.
I never heard of brown rice noodles. I will have to check them out. I also like the idea of taking food to share. I will have to give this a think.
this is supposed to be our Christmas with his family, so that is another reason that I want to be as gracious as I can muster.
The good thing is that Chris knows that I don't want to be there a moment longer than i have to, so we won't hang out too long.
I really appreciate all your thoughts and comments. This is a great group! emoticon

"I can speak so softly because I have so much power."
"I am woman, hear me roar."

Team Leader: Going Minimalist www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=52276


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USE2BAGODDESS
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1/7/11 4:54 P

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I like the idea of bringing extra to eat.

Spaghetti Sauce

Saute until soft : 1-2 Large yellow onion, bell peppers red, green, yellow, 3-4 cloves of garlic minced.

Saute in butter and olive oil minced mushrooms. I put mushrooms in my food proccessor and mince. Everyone loves the flavor it adds no one likes to know the mushrooms are there. I use a whole pkg.

Brown a 1-1.5lb pkg of lean ground beef. (drain if necessary)

Add all ingredients to a large pot or crock pot with a large bottle of your favorite gluten free spaghetti sauce. (My dh likes Prego) Add 3T of tomato paste and 3T of honey (or sweetner of choice) Tomatoes are so acidic they need a touch of sugar to balance the flavor.

(I always make extra because the sauce is so easy to freeze. Then all you have to do is thaw, heat and serve.)

That's it. Just allow it to simmer. My friend who lives with us just took a crock pot full to her work for their Christmas party. Mine was the one everybody wanted. (There were 2 batches made and taken in)

Like I said before Brown Rice Spaghetti noodles are so good that not even kids can tell they aren't the real thing.

People are often intimidated by the sound of anything gluten free. It took me forever to help my SIL understand that meat doesn't have gluten. She was concerned about feeding me grain fed beef. There is so much misunderstanding. I think taking something you can eat and taking extra is a wonderful idea. Be aware though that if your food tastes better than your MIL you might get the cold shoulder.

I make wonderful turkey because I brine it. My dad commented on how juicy my turkey was vs my mom's and I wasn't allowed to cook for the family for almost 3 yrs!


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JKTENTATIVE
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1/7/11 4:35 P

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Bring your own food and some extra to share with others. Put some of the lasagna on your plate, but don't eat it if it isn't appealing to you. Nothing is worth giving up that wonderful feeling of eating healthy and clean (which I am still working on doing!0
emoticon

JK - From Long Island, NY

When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change!
source: Wayne Dyer


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CELEBRATELIFE1
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1/7/11 3:36 P

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I changed too as I got older. When I was younger I probably would have eaten first, then ate a salad when I got there. But, being older & wiser, I've learned that I can love people from a distance if they don't respect me. I would not go and tell my dh to enjoy himself and mean it.

"And if you run, you are a runner. It doesn't matter how fast or how far...There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no membership to get. You just run."
John "Penquin" Bingham








USE2BAGODDESS
USE2BAGODDESS's Photo Posts: 2,703
1/7/11 2:45 P

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I really would take something to eat.

1st You are joining in and you don't look like you are snubbing anyone.

2nd You will feel less hurt. Sitting at a table full of food you can't eat and everyone else is eating and talking is hurtful.

3rd If it is being done intentionally you are showing that you refuse to be left out and you refuse to be hurt.

4th If it isn't being done intentionally you are showing how easy it is to prepare good food that will include everyone.

Perhaps it is my Southern upbringing, perhaps it is something about me personally but I was always taught that as a hostess it is your responsibility to see to it that all of your guests are accommodated. If a guest comes to my house I want to make sure they feel nurtured, cared for and wanted. No one leaves my house without feeling like they are special.




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USE2BAGODDESS
USE2BAGODDESS's Photo Posts: 2,703
1/7/11 2:37 P

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You could make some gf spaghetti. The brown rice noodles are good enough to pass for regular noodles.

that way you are eating italian with everyone else. the smell of the wonderful food won't tempt you. If you need a good recipe I have one.

I would also buy some Udi bread and toast it up with a little garlic butter and take it. All you will have to do is heat your food and you can enjoy along with everyone else.

The MIL I have now is very nice about altering the food to fit my allergies, but my husband is her only child. He would not be happy with her if she snubbed me.

My first set of in-laws went out of their way to be tacky to me. I know how it feels so sit at the table with an empty plate while everyone else eats because I can't or won't eat what has been cooked. I was much younger then and nicer. Now, I'd tell my husband to hand me the car keys and I'll see you later after I've gone out to eat something!

God bless us once our spine grows enough to attach to our mouths!!!emoticon


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LEIGHOC
LEIGHOC's Photo Posts: 355
1/7/11 1:07 P

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I will definitely eat b4 I go. I found out they are having lasagna. I don't know what I could make to go with that that isn't salad. I only have meals with them on average 8 - 10 times a year. (thank god) I have hosted them but since we got our dog, they won't come over unless it's an emergency. MIL is afraid of dogs. Can anyone suggest anything clean to go with lasagna that is not salad?? BTW.... since eating clean I've lost 2.5 pounds! That is in 1 week! yay me!

"I can speak so softly because I have so much power."
"I am woman, hear me roar."

Team Leader: Going Minimalist www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=52276


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EVELYNF
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1/7/11 10:57 A

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How often do you have meals with them? Since it sounds like you don't want to rock the boat if it's only a few times a year then maybe just suck it up and eat what they give you. If you see them every week or so then you may have to stick to your guns and let them know what your preferences are. Do you ever host them? Maybe you can have everyone over for lunch or dinner and make something fabulous so that they can see what real food is like.



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INCTRL
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1/7/11 10:55 A

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Can you prepare some foods and bring along with you for the meal. Then you can eat mostly your food and put a few tablespoons of theirs in your dish and kind of mix it around at the end and don't eat it.

Make sure you eat before you go.

"There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path." Morpheus in The Matrix

"Failure is only postponed success...The habit of persistence is the habit of victory." -Herbert Kaufman

Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do."
- Pope John XXIII


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LEIGHOC
LEIGHOC's Photo Posts: 355
1/7/11 10:39 A

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Okay... looong story as short as possible. My MIL is passive aggressive towards me and LOOOOVES to talk about my weight/ diet in front of everyone, especially my BIL's skinny girlfriend (who eats like she has a tape worm, just sayin') We are going to a late lunch. Their food is not to my liking even b4 I got on the clean wagon, very over oily, very white flour, very not fresh... I took a salad once, they all put some on their plates, pushed it around, and the THREW IT OUT! I am not going to do THAT again. So, my question is... how do I handle this situation. I know I am not going to want to eat their food, but I don't want to be rude. (even though MIL is rude to me.) The don't serve fresh veggies, so I can't just eat that. I'm not sure what they are serving, but usually they serve us cheese pizza.
What would you do if you were me??? Should I take a clean side? Should I just not eat and eat right b4 we leave the house? Should I just eat what they put in front of me and not worry about it???
I don't want to talk to them about eating clean b/c it will just become a big deal. Any suggestions???

"I can speak so softly because I have so much power."
"I am woman, hear me roar."

Team Leader: Going Minimalist www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=52276


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