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MJREIMERS's Photo MJREIMERS Posts: 3,635
3/26/13 7:24 P

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Love the posts! They are so funny, but true!!!!

~Mako~


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8/14/12 1:24 P

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lol

Warm Wags from Kitty, the Creepy Freak!
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WICKEDMELISSA's Photo WICKEDMELISSA Posts: 291
8/14/12 1:07 P

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my girls love to swim, the other day they were in and out of the pool while I was doing water aerobics. Couldn't find them for a few minutes, so I look under the ramp to the deck, there they were covered in MUD they decided to DIG ( half way to China) Ha Ha. Then they decided to "Jump" back into the pool After a few extra chemicals my pool is as good as new . emoticon

Pain is temporary quitting lasts forever!


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DYSMITH0365's Photo DYSMITH0365 SparkPoints: (3,718)
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8/12/12 5:50 P

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Hilarious! emoticon

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8/11/12 11:48 P

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Funny!

Warm Wags from Kitty, the Creepy Freak!
Central Time USA

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TEALHAWK Posts: 2,254
8/10/12 11:35 P

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For real.....very earily in the morning sneak up on a red squirrel, catch your pray then run with red squirrel in your mouth to your master's bedside and act like you have a new squeakey toy and bring it to show how proud you were with the day's hunt. Making your human get up and come after you, and take away your catch. emoticon

Edited by: TEALHAWK at: 8/10/2012 (23:36)
All Because Of God's Amazing Grace, Lorie


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6/7/12 8:30 A

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DOGGY DICTIONARY
author unknown

LEASH: A strap which attaches itself to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.

DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.

SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop. This can also be done to humanís crotches.

GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, barking loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.

THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.

WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filed with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home.

SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.

BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

LEAN: Every good dog's response to the command "sit!", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.

BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

GOOSEBUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require...especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above.

LOVE: Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.

Warm Wags from Kitty, the Creepy Freak!
Central Time USA

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5/3/12 2:39 P

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THINGS DOGS MUST TRY TO REMEMBER....
author unknown

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
I will not throw up on the car.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
"Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.
I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.


Warm Wags from Kitty, the Creepy Freak!
Central Time USA

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4/30/12 3:29 P

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MIND GAMES DOGS PLAY - Author Unknown

1. After your humans give you a bath, DONíT LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets. This is especially good if itís right before your humansí bedtime.

2. Act like a convicted criminal! When the humans come home, put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think you have caused. (This only works when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.)

3. Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. When the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea what theyíre talking about.

4. Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go Ďpeeí, sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go pee will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.

5. Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always pick the busiest, most visible spot to go Ďpooí. Take your time and make sure everyone watches. This works particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.

6. When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a strange human walks by.

7. Make your own rules. Donít always bring back the stick when playing fetch with the humans. Make THEM go and chase it once in a while.

8. Hide from your humans. When your humans come home, donít greet them at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something terrible has happened to you. (Donít reappear until one of your humans is panic-stricken and close to tears).

9. When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the door.

10. Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make the humans take you out for your morning pee. As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, this will drive them nuts!)

Warm Wags from Kitty, the Creepy Freak!
Central Time USA

Leader Club Canine Team - Please check us out!
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4/29/12 11:43 A

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Share you jokes and images here.

Warm Wags from Kitty, the Creepy Freak!
Central Time USA

Leader Club Canine Team - Please check us out!
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