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WOLFSPIRITMOM's Photo WOLFSPIRITMOM SparkPoints: (67,422)
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9/19/13 9:56 A

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One Halloween a man was walking down the street and heard a thumping noise behind him. Looking behind him he saw a coffin following him, upright. He was a bit nervous and began walking a little bit faster. The coffin continued, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump". He began running and the coffin kept up and began opening and closing, ""thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap". Terrified he ran to his front door, and went inside, slamming the door and locking it. The coffin continued, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump - CRASH" it came right through the door, He ran up the stairs, and right behind him, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap". He rushed into the bathroom and slammed the door, but the coffin broke through the door - "thumpety thump, thumpety thump crash". Terrified the man grabbed the first thing he could, a bottle of robutusin and threw it - and the coffin stopped!

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CSTzone, Wpg, MB, CAN Leader Corrosion of Conformity, Winnipeg Sparklers, Positive Thinking.

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"May you have
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courage to open it,
wisdom to walk through.
- Jan L. Richardson



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WOLFSPIRITMOM's Photo WOLFSPIRITMOM SparkPoints: (67,422)
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2/10/13 9:41 A

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A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in South America, when he comes across an ancient Mayan temple. The tourist is entranced by the temple, and asks the guide for details. To this, the guide states that archaeologists are carrying out excavations, and still finding great treasures. The tourist then queries how old the temple is.

"This temple is 1503 years old", replies the guide.

Impressed at this accurate dating, he inquires as to how he gave this precise figure.

"Easy", replies the guide, "the archaeologists said the temple was 1500 years old, and that was three years ago"

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CSTzone, Wpg, MB, CAN Leader Corrosion of Conformity, Winnipeg Sparklers, Positive Thinking.

Check out Corrosion of Conformity, we would love to have you join!
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ual.asp?gid=53491


"May you have
the vision to recognize
the door that is yours,
courage to open it,
wisdom to walk through.
- Jan L. Richardson



 current weight: 125.0 
 
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WOLFSPIRITMOM's Photo WOLFSPIRITMOM SparkPoints: (67,422)
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2/10/13 9:38 A

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A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient; he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.

"Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."

From Round Table email

CSTzone, Wpg, MB, CAN Leader Corrosion of Conformity, Winnipeg Sparklers, Positive Thinking.

Check out Corrosion of Conformity, we would love to have you join!
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ual.asp?gid=53491


"May you have
the vision to recognize
the door that is yours,
courage to open it,
wisdom to walk through.
- Jan L. Richardson



 current weight: 125.0 
 
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WOLFSPIRITMOM's Photo WOLFSPIRITMOM SparkPoints: (67,422)
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2/6/13 7:59 A

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A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

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CSTzone, Wpg, MB, CAN Leader Corrosion of Conformity, Winnipeg Sparklers, Positive Thinking.

Check out Corrosion of Conformity, we would love to have you join!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individ
ual.asp?gid=53491


"May you have
the vision to recognize
the door that is yours,
courage to open it,
wisdom to walk through.
- Jan L. Richardson



 current weight: 125.0 
 
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WOLFSPIRITMOM's Photo WOLFSPIRITMOM SparkPoints: (67,422)
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1/21/13 11:09 A

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A little humor to brighten your day!

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen."

"Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."

From Round Table email

CSTzone, Wpg, MB, CAN Leader Corrosion of Conformity, Winnipeg Sparklers, Positive Thinking.

Check out Corrosion of Conformity, we would love to have you join!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individ
ual.asp?gid=53491


"May you have
the vision to recognize
the door that is yours,
courage to open it,
wisdom to walk through.
- Jan L. Richardson



 current weight: 125.0 
 
130
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127.5
126.25
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WOLFSPIRITMOM's Photo WOLFSPIRITMOM SparkPoints: (67,422)
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11/14/12 9:23 A

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Thinking she had possibly not heard me the first time, I decided to ask again. "How much time is the wait for a table?"

Looking up from her book, the hostess smiled and said "About ten minutes. We will inform you when your table is ready."

A short time later, I heard an announcement over the intercom system, "Willette B. Long... Willette B. Long, your table is ready."

From Round Table email

CSTzone, Wpg, MB, CAN Leader Corrosion of Conformity, Winnipeg Sparklers, Positive Thinking.

Check out Corrosion of Conformity, we would love to have you join!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individ
ual.asp?gid=53491


"May you have
the vision to recognize
the door that is yours,
courage to open it,
wisdom to walk through.
- Jan L. Richardson



 current weight: 125.0 
 
130
128.75
127.5
126.25
125
WOLFSPIRITMOM's Photo WOLFSPIRITMOM SparkPoints: (67,422)
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10/5/12 8:04 A

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These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

An ad on the subway in NYC: "Learn to read and speak English. Call us now."

An Amelia Island, FL, podiatrist: "Emergency Foot Surgery- Walk-ins Welcomed."

Sign over a restroom in a restaurant: "Used beer department."

On a store front in Florida: "Your one stop shop! Beer ammo and liquor. Drive through open 24 hours!"

A speed limit sign on Long Beach Island, New Jersey: "Smile, You're on Radar!"

Seen in a State Park in California: "Weather Station (A large sign with a Rock hanging on a rope) Check the Rock. If it's wet, it's raining. If it's moving, it's windy. If you can't see it, it's foggy. If rock is gone, it's a tornado."

CSTzone, Wpg, MB, CAN Leader Corrosion of Conformity, Winnipeg Sparklers, Positive Thinking.

Check out Corrosion of Conformity, we would love to have you join!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individ
ual.asp?gid=53491


"May you have
the vision to recognize
the door that is yours,
courage to open it,
wisdom to walk through.
- Jan L. Richardson



 current weight: 125.0 
 
130
128.75
127.5
126.25
125
WOLFSPIRITMOM's Photo WOLFSPIRITMOM SparkPoints: (67,422)
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10/5/12 8:00 A

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emoticon

CSTzone, Wpg, MB, CAN Leader Corrosion of Conformity, Winnipeg Sparklers, Positive Thinking.

Check out Corrosion of Conformity, we would love to have you join!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individ
ual.asp?gid=53491


"May you have
the vision to recognize
the door that is yours,
courage to open it,
wisdom to walk through.
- Jan L. Richardson



 current weight: 125.0 
 
130
128.75
127.5
126.25
125
LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 55,589
10/3/12 1:49 P

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The visitor to the farm asked the farmer, "Have you lived here all your life?"

"Not yet."

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)

"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)

Please visit my blog:
www.cuisinequests.blogspot.com/


 current weight: 389.0 
 
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WOLFSPIRITMOM's Photo WOLFSPIRITMOM SparkPoints: (67,422)
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10/3/12 7:54 A

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What did the tired chess player do?

He took the knight off


CSTzone, Wpg, MB, CAN Leader Corrosion of Conformity, Winnipeg Sparklers, Positive Thinking.

Check out Corrosion of Conformity, we would love to have you join!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individ
ual.asp?gid=53491


"May you have
the vision to recognize
the door that is yours,
courage to open it,
wisdom to walk through.
- Jan L. Richardson



 current weight: 125.0 
 
130
128.75
127.5
126.25
125
WOLFSPIRITMOM's Photo WOLFSPIRITMOM SparkPoints: (67,422)
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9/30/12 8:08 A

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CSTzone, Wpg, MB, CAN Leader Corrosion of Conformity, Winnipeg Sparklers, Positive Thinking.

Check out Corrosion of Conformity, we would love to have you join!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individ
ual.asp?gid=53491


"May you have
the vision to recognize
the door that is yours,
courage to open it,
wisdom to walk through.
- Jan L. Richardson



 current weight: 125.0 
 
130
128.75
127.5
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125
LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 55,589
9/29/12 10:29 A

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Love it!

A man walks into a bar with a frog on his head. The bartender stares and says, "Where did THAT come from?"

The frog replies, "Believe it or not, it started as a wart on my butt."

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)

"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)

Please visit my blog:
www.cuisinequests.blogspot.com/


 current weight: 389.0 
 
412
346.5
281
215.5
150
WOLFSPIRITMOM's Photo WOLFSPIRITMOM SparkPoints: (67,422)
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9/29/12 8:38 A

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CSTzone, Wpg, MB, CAN Leader Corrosion of Conformity, Winnipeg Sparklers, Positive Thinking.

Check out Corrosion of Conformity, we would love to have you join!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individ
ual.asp?gid=53491


"May you have
the vision to recognize
the door that is yours,
courage to open it,
wisdom to walk through.
- Jan L. Richardson



 current weight: 125.0 
 
130
128.75
127.5
126.25
125
WRITEMANN1's Photo WRITEMANN1 Posts: 8,911
9/28/12 11:15 P

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Ariel Font and Tahoma Font walk in to a bar. Tahoma orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve your type in here."

"I can do all things if I just get off my but's and admit I'm in control of me!" SGM 1:1-5 The only real verse I need.

Never say you didn't have enough time: You have the same amount of time that was given to Helen Keller, Albert Einstein, William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar, Winston Churchill.

I teach because I love to Learn!


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WOLFSPIRITMOM's Photo WOLFSPIRITMOM SparkPoints: (67,422)
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9/28/12 10:40 A

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emoticon Good one!

Edited by: WOLFSPIRITMOM at: 9/28/2012 (10:40)
CSTzone, Wpg, MB, CAN Leader Corrosion of Conformity, Winnipeg Sparklers, Positive Thinking.

Check out Corrosion of Conformity, we would love to have you join!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individ
ual.asp?gid=53491


"May you have
the vision to recognize
the door that is yours,
courage to open it,
wisdom to walk through.
- Jan L. Richardson



 current weight: 125.0 
 
130
128.75
127.5
126.25
125
LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 55,589
9/28/12 9:48 A

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Ouch...

The bounty hunter rode into the Old West town and went to the sherriff's office to ask if there were any desperadoes in the territory that needed rounding up. The sherriff replied, "Now I think on it, we could use some help corralling the Brown Paper Kid."

The bounty hunter stared at him. "The Brown Paper Kid! Who in tarnation is the Brown Paper Kid?"

"You ain't never heard of him? Why, his hat, his coat and all his clothes are made of brown paper. Durnedest thing you ever did see."

"Well, anybody like that shouldn't be too hard to spot. What's he wanted fer?"

And the sherriff replied...

Wait for it...

"Rustling."

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)

"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)

Please visit my blog:
www.cuisinequests.blogspot.com/


 current weight: 389.0 
 
412
346.5
281
215.5
150
WOLFSPIRITMOM's Photo WOLFSPIRITMOM SparkPoints: (67,422)
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9/28/12 7:50 A

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Since we all know laughter is so beneficial for us, I am starting this to help us get a little chuckle.

I'll start,

A male frog goes to a psychic. The psychic tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog becomes excited, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?"

"No," says the psychic, "in her biology class."

From Round Table email

CSTzone, Wpg, MB, CAN Leader Corrosion of Conformity, Winnipeg Sparklers, Positive Thinking.

Check out Corrosion of Conformity, we would love to have you join!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individ
ual.asp?gid=53491


"May you have
the vision to recognize
the door that is yours,
courage to open it,
wisdom to walk through.
- Jan L. Richardson



 current weight: 125.0 
 
130
128.75
127.5
126.25
125
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