Today was like being hit by a huge wave, and tumbled in the surf, when you were expecting something much smaller and gentler. I got off track with sweets early in the morning and asked for support, which I received : ) What followed was a period from about 1:00-5:30 where I just couldn't get a foot hold on my goals and felt out of control. I had been sugar free for 3 weeks (I was sugar free for a week before beginning the TYST challenge) I had also just ended another food challenge at our gym yesterday. I guess I pushed it too hard and was overwhelmed and today I kind of "went wild" In my head was a strong desire to eat every denied treat - today. It was definitely binge eating and I couldn't seem to reason with myself about how harmful it was to ingest so much sugar and bad fat, into my system.
I am now over it. I logged all of it and will reflect on it. Not beat myself up, just reflect on how it felt and what was going on in my head.
Part of my healing is this new and different step I am taking in logging it ALL and writing about it here. This is change. I am not brushing this under the rug. I am not punishing myself. I am listening to myself and knowing that right now, this minute and going forward, I am, and will continue to be healthy and make the right choices.
Biggest lesson for today is that I simply can not underestimate the strength and power of the Sugar Monster, when it hits. It moves as fast as a fire. I called in the SP fire department and used all the water I had to "put it out"
6:25 Full, feeling a little off, and done with my food intake for today. Rest, read, take it easy. I'm ok and I survived.
Never, never, never, never, never give up!
MAKE IT HAPPEN!
| current weight: 147.2