We all expect our families and friends to support us on this journey. In your personal circle, has there been anyone who has surprised you by NOT being supportive? How did you cope with that?
I had a friend who had been my friend all of my life. And most of our life together, I was always "the fat one." I was the one who was always ignored, I was the one in the "friend zone" while she was the "hottie."
She gained weight after high school, and began to dress really tacky in lots of spandex and tight shirts that made her look like a sausage. But friends to the end, we were always together and she always touted that I was beautiful and she loved me no matter what the size (and I had gotten to 400+ pounds). Also, psychologically, I still saw her as all those things and our dynamic didn't change.
Long story made short, I thought her love was unconditional and it wasn't. I dropped weight really rapidly and one day decided to start thrift store shopping so I wouldn't look really bad in really loose duds. I started wearing short skirts with opaque tights, doing my hair, wearing a little makeup, all things that for me were a drastic change and I was a little scared. I started feeling a little better about myself and I wasn't sure I looked better but I definitely felt BETTER.
So to the point, my "unconditional love" friend who I thought was my world started acting like a biotch. She started making snide comments about how I now thought I was all that. She made awkward comments about me being "skinny" but infused with sarcasm. She basically acted in such a way that made me want to strangle her. And it hurt a lot because it felt like she was punishing me for losing weight and dressing better.
It still hurts, because she still makes the unnecessary comments. But, I had to take care of my own heart and I so, after giving her a few chances where I explained how much she was hurting and annoying me, I unofficially broke up with her.
I don' t have the heart to throw away our relationship of years and years so I was never mean to her nor did I retaliate. But after being a doormat all my life and letting people hurt me, I decided her behavior was unacceptable. I politely became "busy" (which wasn't far from the truth as I work crazy hours). And our relationship has fizzled down to seeing each other occasionally at family functions.
This is going to sound cold, but it is what it is. Losing weight unfortunately sheds layers of protection that you put on yourself against getting hurt. You lose the weight, and you are probably going to lose someone who can't handle you being happy. BUT. If that's the case, these people aren't your friends anyway. And I personally decided that for my own well-being, I don't need the drama.
| current weight: 309.0