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DARLENEK04 Posts: 27,391
4/28/13 9:49 P

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Welcome aboard Becky. I had a long spell between my picking up riding again a few
years ago.....practice.....practice, etc.....and ride defensively like everyone is out to get
you..................

Blessings,
DarleneK

If you always do what you've always done,
You'll always be who you've always been!!!!!!

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage
is the quiet voice at the
end of the day saying "I
will try again tomorrow!"

Mary Anne Radmacher

Darlene
PS:

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.

- Irish Proverb


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MOM4407's Photo MOM4407 SparkPoints: (65,210)
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4/28/13 7:19 P

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Hi all
Joined the team a few weeks ago and glad to find some place just to have fun. I live in South Texas so we ride all year round but the down side is the wind from the south is usually around 30 mph or more. I am just getting back into riding after not having a bike for 25 yrs. Look forward to meeting all of you.
Becky

I am an intelligent person.
I will control my emotions and not let my emotions control me.

We need each other.
Becky in Donna, Tx
DARLENEK04 Posts: 27,391
4/27/13 11:57 A

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Cat,

Sometimes life interferes with the best of intentions...we have not ridden but once this
spring, but husbands mother had a stroke and between taking care of her business and
ours it has interfered to the point, that I am so discouraged I am about ready to sell the
bikes and just forget it...
maybe we should just sell the house and move somewhere too....lol


DarleneK

If you always do what you've always done,
You'll always be who you've always been!!!!!!

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage
is the quiet voice at the
end of the day saying "I
will try again tomorrow!"

Mary Anne Radmacher

Darlene
PS:

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.

- Irish Proverb


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CAT-IN-CJ's Photo CAT-IN-CJ SparkPoints: (58,753)
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4/24/13 2:27 P

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Thanks for giving me a place to rant.

I have a list of at least a dozen riders in my local area who say they want to get together for rides. Everyone I've spoken to is SOOOO enthused and excited about riding, until the time comes to ride. Then all I hear are excuses . . . and not a legitimate excuse like I have to work, or my bike is broke, or it's too cold.....

Maybe I should change my deodorant emoticon

Cathy

"Dream as if you have forever. Live as if you only have today."!


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NELLJONES's Photo NELLJONES SparkPoints: (205,330)
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3/14/12 3:42 P

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It is just killing me to have this wonderful weather and I can't seem to be able to go anywhere without boxes and stuff piled in the back of my Outback. Moving Mom and getting her condo ready to sell involves so much carting! I see all those bikes out there and see freedom from more than just a car. Come on May!!

Nell

No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.

Original Goal: 114. Current old lady goal: 106.


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DARLENEK04 Posts: 27,391
3/14/12 2:28 P

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Just a comment....I think why it is so quiet on here is there is an inactive team leader
and no one is stirring things up....

T-lets put on our smart helmet and see if we can think of anything to challenge members
to get involved in....

Anyone else who has any ideas, sing out....we want to keep this team active...right????

Darlene

If you always do what you've always done,
You'll always be who you've always been!!!!!!

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage
is the quiet voice at the
end of the day saying "I
will try again tomorrow!"

Mary Anne Radmacher

Darlene
PS:

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.

- Irish Proverb


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DARLENEK04 Posts: 27,391
2/8/12 8:18 P

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That is too funny................

If you always do what you've always done,
You'll always be who you've always been!!!!!!

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage
is the quiet voice at the
end of the day saying "I
will try again tomorrow!"

Mary Anne Radmacher

Darlene
PS:

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.

- Irish Proverb


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TNEWELL26's Photo TNEWELL26 Posts: 204
2/8/12 9:04 A

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Another personal funny for me. I am a few years older than my husband. He likes to tease me about being old. On my birthday we went to McDonalds to grab an Egg McMuffin and coffee. The cashier gave Wayne the Senior Citizens discount but not me! I have been teasing him ever since!

I'd rather regret the things I've done than the things I haven't done....Carol Burnett

Don't let where you have been define where you are going!

If life were easy we'd all be bored!


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DARLENEK04 Posts: 27,391
2/2/12 6:34 P

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Good one T..........................

If you always do what you've always done,
You'll always be who you've always been!!!!!!

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage
is the quiet voice at the
end of the day saying "I
will try again tomorrow!"

Mary Anne Radmacher

Darlene
PS:

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.

- Irish Proverb


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TNEWELL26's Photo TNEWELL26 Posts: 204
2/2/12 10:37 A

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This is a personal funny for me. When it is too cold out and my Harley struggles to start, my husband has the task of getting her started for me. It usually takes several minutes to which he mutters the whole time "da** Harley" He rides a Honda Shadow which always starts right up. The other morning he left for work at 6:30 and I could hear the Shadow struggling to start. I jumped out of bed in my night shirt to run outside and yell "da** Honda!" Several of the neighbors were out and I am sure they had a good laugh. Oh well, I have waited several months to yell that at him!

I'd rather regret the things I've done than the things I haven't done....Carol Burnett

Don't let where you have been define where you are going!

If life were easy we'd all be bored!


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PLANAR's Photo PLANAR Posts: 122
2/2/12 8:08 A

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I love almost anything BMW makes, check out this video of quarter mile times, I'll take one of each...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pla
yer_embedded&v=5Yko7Bpm9xw


Life is a storm, my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes. Count of Monte Cristo
CRUISEGUY's Photo CRUISEGUY SparkPoints: (33,487)
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10/12/11 7:34 A

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emoticon

Someone is far more adventurous and creative than I am recently!

- Jame

CruiseGuy@live.com

Co-Lead: Gay Men Sparking
Co-Lead: Cruise Critic Spark Team

Take responsibility for yourself!


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NWCOUNTRYDANCER's Photo NWCOUNTRYDANCER SparkPoints: (106,649)
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10/4/11 4:36 P

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Yoga mat for sale. Used once. - $1 (Bellevue)

Yoga mat for sale. Used once at lunch hour class in December 2009. Usage timeline as follows:

11:45a
Register for hot yoga class. Infinite wisdom tells me to commit to 5 class package and purchase a yoga mat. I pay $89.74. Money well spent, I smugly confirm to myself.

11:55a
Open door to yoga room. A gush of hot dry air rushes through and past me. It smells of breath, sweat and hot. Take spot on floor in back of room next to cute blonde. We will date.

11:57a
I feel the need to be as near to naked as possible. This is a problem because of the hot blonde to my left and our pending courtship. She will not be pleased to learn that I need to lose 30 pounds before I propose to her.

11:58a
The shirt and sweats have to come off. I throw caution to the wind and decide to rely on my wit and conditioning to overcome any weight issues my fiancée may take issue with. This will take a lot of wit and conditioning.

11:59a
Begin small talk with my bride to be. She pretends to ignore me but I know how she can be. I allow her to concentrate and stare straight ahead and continue to pretend that I don't exist. As we finish sharing our special moment, I am suddenly aware of a sweat moustache that has formed below my nose. This must be from the all the whispering between us.

12:00p
Instructor enters the room and ascends her special podium at the front of the room. She is a slight, agitated Chinese woman. She introduces me to the class and everyone turns around to greet me just as I decide to aggressively adjust my penis and testes packed in my Under Armor. My bride is notably unfazed.

12:02p
Since I do have experience with Hot Yoga (4 sessions just 5 short years ago) I fully consider that I may be so outstanding and skilled that my instructor may call me out and ask me to guide the class. My wife will look on with a sparkle in her eye. We will make love after class.

12:10p
It is now up to 95 degrees in the room. We have been practicing deep breathing exercises for the last 8 minutes. This would not be a problem if we were all breathing actual, you know, oxygen. Instead, we are breathing each other's body odor, expelled carbon dioxide and other unmentionables. (Don't worry, I'll mention them later.)

12:26p
It is now 100 degrees and I take notice of the humidity, which is hovering at about 90%. I feel the familiar adorning stare of my bride and decide to look back at her. She appears to be nauseated. I then realize that I forgot to brush my teeth prior to attending this class. We bond.

12:33p
It is now 110 degrees and 95% humidity. I am now balancing on one leg with the other leg crossed over the other. My arms are intertwined and I am squatting. The last time I was in this position was 44 years ago in the womb, but I'm in this for the long haul. My wife looks slightly weathered dripping sweat and her eyeliner is streaming down her face. Well, "for better or worse" is what we committed to so we press on.

12:40p
The overweight Hispanic man two spots over has sweat running down his legs. At least I think its sweat. He is holding every position and has not had a sip of water since we walked in. He is making me look bad and I hate him.

12:44p
I consider that if anyone in this room farted that we would all certainly perish.

12:52p
It is now 140 degrees and 100% humidity. I am covered from head to toe in sweat. There is not a square millimeter on my body that is not slippery and sweaty. I am so slimy that I feel like a sea lion or a maybe sea eel. Not even a bear trap could hold me. The sweat is stinging my eyeballs and I can no longer see.

12:55p
This room stinks of asparagus, cloves, tuna and tacos. There is no food in the room. I realize that this is an amalgamation of the body odors of 30 people in a 140 degree room for the last 55 minutes. Seriously, enough with the asparagus, ok?

1:01p
140 degrees and 130% humidity. Look, bitch, I need my space here so don't get all pissy with me if I accidentally sprayed you with sweat as I flipped over. Seriously, is that where this relationship is going? Get over yourself. We need counseling and she needs to be medicated. Stat!

1:09p
150 degrees and cloudy. And hot. I can no longer move my limbs on my own. I have given up on attempting any of the commands this Chinese chick is yelling out at us. I will lay sedentary until the aid unit arrives. I will buy this building and then have it destroyed.
I lose consciousness.

1:15p
I have a headache and my wife is being a selfish bitch. I can't really breathe. All I can think about is holding a cup worth of hot sand in my mouth. I cannot remember what an ice cube is and cannot remember what snow looks like. I consider that my only escape might be a crab walk across 15 bodies and then out of the room. I am paralyzed, and may never walk again so the whole crab walk thing is pretty much out.

1:17p
I cannot move at all and cannot reach my water. Is breathing voluntary or involuntary? If it's voluntary, I am screwed. I stopped participating in the class 20 minutes ago. Hey, lady! I paid for this frickin class, ok?! You work for me! Stop yelling at everyone and just tell us a story or something. It's like juice and cracker time, ok?

1:20p
It is now 165 degrees and moisture is dripping from the ceiling. The towel that I am laying on is no longer providing any wicking or drying properties. It is actually placing additional sweat on me as I touch it. My towel reeks. I cannot identify the smell but no way can it be from me. Did someone spray some stank on my towel or something?

1:30p
Torture session is over. I wish hateful things upon the instructor. She graciously allows us to stay and 'cool down' in the room. It is 175 degrees. Who cools down in 175 degrees? A Komodo Dragon? My wife has left the room. Probably to throw up.

1:34p
My opportunity to escape has arrived. I roll over to my stomach and press up to my knees. It is warmer as I rise up from ground level - probably by 15 degrees. So let's conservatively say it's 190. I muster my final energy and slowly rise. One foot in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. Towards the door. Towards the door.

1:37p
The temperature in the lobby is 72 degrees. Both nipples stiffen to diamond strength and my penis begins to retract into my abdomen from the 100 degree temp swing. I can once again breathe though so I am pleased. I spot my future ex wife in the lobby. We had such a good thing going but I know that no measure of counseling will be able to unravel the day's turmoil and mental scaring.

1:47p
Arrive at Emerald City Smoothie and proceed to order a 32 oz beverage. 402 calories, 0 fat and 14 grams of protein -- effectively negating any caloric burn or benefit from the last 90 minutes. I finish it in 3 minutes and spend the next 2 hours writing this memoir.

3:47p
Create Craigslist ad while burning final 2 grams of protein from Smoothie and before the "shakes" consume my body.

4:29p
Note to self - check car for missing wet yoga towel in am.




Every day may not be good, but there is good in every day.~Author Unknown


Do or do not, there is no try!.- Yoda (Star Wars)

"This is not a diet, this is my life!"

www.nwcountrydancer.com

Find me on FitBit @ http://www.fitbit.com/user/22FR9Y


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NWCOUNTRYDANCER's Photo NWCOUNTRYDANCER SparkPoints: (106,649)
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10/4/11 4:34 P

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Riding in Residential Neighborhoods:

I never dreamed slowly cruising through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous!



Studies have shown that motorcycling requires more decisions per second, and more sheer data processing than nearly any other common activity or sport. The reactions and accurate decision making abilities needed have been likened to the reactions of fighter pilots! The consequences of bad decisions... or poor situational awareness are pretty much the same for both groups too.



Occasionally, as a rider I have caught myself starting to make bad or late decisions while riding. In flight training, my instructors called this being “behind the power curve”. It is a mark of experience that when this begins to happen, the rider recognizes the situation, and more importantly, does something about it. A short break, a meal, or even a gas stop can set things right again as it gives the brain a chance to catch up.



Good, accurate, and timely decisions are essential when riding a motorcycle…at least if you want to remain among the living. In short, the brain needs to keep up with the machine.



I had been banging around the roads of east Texas and as I headed back into Dallas, found myself in very heavy, high-speed traffic on the freeways. Normally, this is not a problem, I commute in these conditions daily, but suddenly I was nearly run down by a cage that decided it needed my lane more than I did. This is not normally a big deal either, as it happens around here often, but usually I can accurately predict which drivers are not paying attention and avoid them before we are even close. This one I missed seeing until it was nearly too late, and as I took evasive action I nearly broadsided another car that I was not even aware was there!



Two bad decisions and insufficient situational awareness…all within seconds. I was behind the power curve. Time to get off the freeway.



I hit the next exit, and as I was in an area I knew pretty well, headed through a few big residential neighborhoods as a new route home. As I turned onto the nearly empty streets I opened the visor on my full-face helmet to help get some air. I figured some slow riding through the quiet surface streets would give me time to relax, think, and regain that “edge” so frequently required when riding.



Little did I suspect…



As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it—it was that close.



I hate to run over animals…and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely had time to brace for the impact.



Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels can take care of themselves!



Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing the oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his little beady eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leapt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, “Banzai!” or maybe, “Die you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!” as the leap was spectacular and he flew over the windshield and impacted me squarely in the chest.



Instantly he set upon me. If I did not know better I would have sworn he brought twenty of his little buddies along for the attack. Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light t-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage!



Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and leather gloves puttering maybe 25mph down a quiet residential street…and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing.



I grabbed for him with my left hand and managed to snag his tail. With all my strength I flung the evil rodent off the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw.



That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed home. No one would have been the wiser.



But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary pissed-off squirrel.



This was an evil attack squirrel of death!



Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands, and with the force of the throw swung around and with a resounding thump and an amazing impact he landed square on my back and resumed his rather anti-social and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with him!



The situation was not improved. Not improved at all. His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him.



I was startled to say the least. The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one result. Torque. This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very good at it.



The engine roared as the front wheel left the pavement. The squirrel screamed in anger. The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy. I screamed in…well…I just plain screamed.



Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a slightly squirrel torn t-shirt, and only one leather glove roaring at maybe 70mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street…on one wheel and with a demonic squirrel on his back. The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder.



With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars and try to get control of the bike. This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I really did not want to crash into somebody’s tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle…my brain was just simply overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little affect against the massive power of the big cruiser.



About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient attention to this very serious battle (maybe he is a Scottish attack squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got IN my full-face helmet with me. As the faceplate closed partway and he began hissing in my face I am quite sure my screaming changed tone and intensity. It seemed to have little affect on the squirrel however.



The rpm’s on The Dragon maxed out (I was not concerned about shifting at the moment) and her front end started to drop.



Now picture the large man on the huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a very ragged torn t-shirt, and wearing one leather glove, roaring at probably 80mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel’s tail sticking out his mostly closed full-face helmet. By now the screams are probably getting a little hoarse.



Finally I got the upper hand…I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This time it worked…sort-of. Spectacularly sort-of, so to speak.



Picture the scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some paperwork.



Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a torn t-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing one leather glove, moving at probably 80mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by and with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your police car.



I heard screams. They weren't mine...



I managed to get the big motorcycle under directional control and dropped the front wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign at a busy cross street.



I would have returned to fess up (and to get my glove back). I really would have. Really. But for two things. First, the cops did not seem interested or the slightest bit concerned about me at the moment. One of them was on his back in the front yard of the house they had been parked in front of and was rapidly crabbing backwards away from the patrol car. The other was standing in the street and was training a riot shotgun on the police cruiser.



So the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to “let the professionals handle it” anyway. That was one thing. The other? Well, I swear I could see the squirrel, standing in the back window of the patrol car among shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery, and shaking his little fist at me. I think he was shooting me the finger…



That is one dangerous squirrel. And now he has a patrol car…



I took a deep breath, turned on my turn-signal, made an easy right turn, and sedately left the neighborhood.



As for my easy and slow drive home? Screw it. Faced with a choice of 80mph cars and inattentive drivers, or the evil, demonic, attack squirrel of death...I’ll take my chances with the freeway. Every time.



And I’ll buy myself a new pair of gloves. "

.

Every day may not be good, but there is good in every day.~Author Unknown


Do or do not, there is no try!.- Yoda (Star Wars)

"This is not a diet, this is my life!"

www.nwcountrydancer.com

Find me on FitBit @ http://www.fitbit.com/user/22FR9Y


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DARLENEK04 Posts: 27,391
9/13/11 8:37 P

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I beg pardon for not being able to think of anything clever, but unfortunately I am
somewhat pre-occupied................



Edited by: DARLENEK04 at: 9/14/2011 (22:27)
If you always do what you've always done,
You'll always be who you've always been!!!!!!

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage
is the quiet voice at the
end of the day saying "I
will try again tomorrow!"

Mary Anne Radmacher

Darlene
PS:

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.

- Irish Proverb


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CRUISEGUY's Photo CRUISEGUY SparkPoints: (33,487)
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9/13/11 8:26 P

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All right, so where are all these great ideas! Start some new threads!!! emoticon

- Jame

CruiseGuy@live.com

Co-Lead: Gay Men Sparking
Co-Lead: Cruise Critic Spark Team

Take responsibility for yourself!


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DARLENEK04 Posts: 27,391
9/9/11 1:20 P

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Woohoo.....
sound good to me....

With Chuck on the job, consider it done...

If you always do what you've always done,
You'll always be who you've always been!!!!!!

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage
is the quiet voice at the
end of the day saying "I
will try again tomorrow!"

Mary Anne Radmacher

Darlene
PS:

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.

- Irish Proverb


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BANKER-CHUCK's Photo BANKER-CHUCK Posts: 5,553
9/9/11 9:42 A

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Sounds great to keep this team active. I will put on my thinking helmet.

Chuck

1/1/10 Start Wht 279 lbs
12/1/114 Goal 190

**Maintain** "OR" set new Goal! 170's maybe??


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CRUISEGUY's Photo CRUISEGUY SparkPoints: (33,487)
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9/9/11 8:11 A

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This is the area to post links to funny stuff on the internet, start threads on login points earned on the spark wheel, game threads, earn spark points for posting. Whatever you want.

- Jame

CruiseGuy@live.com

Co-Lead: Gay Men Sparking
Co-Lead: Cruise Critic Spark Team

Take responsibility for yourself!


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