We all learned as we go, especially the first time doing a program like this. We're all different, so each of us adjust to our own requirements/lifestyles.
I think its just fine that you work out at night and I think it specifies No STARCHY carbs after 7pm, because veggies are always fair game. A banana in your post-workout smoothie won't kill the program. The carbs thing is less important now than when (and if) you do carb-cycling in Phase 3. I still have not done carb-cycling (and been in Phase 3 twice) because I am still above 26% bodyfat (started at 38% last year) and was told it won't make as much difference until I'm down closer to 22% or under.
Phase 1-- no need to worry about calories as long as you stick to clean/lean. Everyone goes through a couple weeks of feeling like they are eating all the time, but trust me-- in a few weeks, your body will be screaming for more fuel. Just think of food as fuel-- Make sure you eat enough as you need fuel for muscle growth. Again, as long as you're eating clean/lean AND enough protein (higher than you are probably used to) than don't worry. Eat every 2-3 hours. do not deprive. eat more Veggies if you are worried.
Soreness: Take BCAAs- they totally help.
You are NOT alone. I cannot tell you how many people started out obese (though being almost a foot shorter than you, my weight ranges are different than yours), but I did it for the first time last February and had nothing short of AMAZING results. I am repeating as I'd like to take it even farther.
Here's a link to my results pages: www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_
To put it in simple terms- I went from a size 14 to a size 6 (and falling)
Hope this helps!