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7/28/14 7:52 A

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LOL!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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SJSAZ2013's Photo SJSAZ2013 Posts: 80
7/28/14 6:22 A

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123ELAINE456 SparkPoints: (145,871)
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7/27/14 7:02 P

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LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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7/27/14 10:02 A

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Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson


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7/27/14 8:38 A

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``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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7/27/14 4:37 A

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REPLACEMENT WINDOWS


Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane, energy-efficient kind.

Today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.

Helloooo…? Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy told me last year... that these windows would pay for themselves in a year. Hellooooo? It's been a year, so they're paid for, I told him.



There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally hung up.

He never called back.

I bet he felt like an idiot.



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7/26/14 5:25 P

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So Cute. LOL!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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7/26/14 10:25 A

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Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson


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7/26/14 9:11 A

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Very cute!

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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7/25/14 7:52 P

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A little boy went up to his mother and asked: 'Mum, where did my intelligence come from?'

The mother replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your father, because I still have mine.'

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A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to
the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and
said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'

'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great
cook and really good with the kids.'


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7/25/14 7:49 P

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LOL!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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7/25/14 10:04 A

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Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson


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7/25/14 9:52 A

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``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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7/25/14 2:11 A

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LOL!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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7/24/14 7:46 P

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THREE LITTLE BOYS were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them.

They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday school.
So they went to the nearest church.. But, only the janitor was there.

One little boy said, "we need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us. Will you baptize us?"

"Sure," said the janitor .......He took them into the bathroom and dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl, one at a time.

Then he said, "You are now baptized!"

When they got outside, one of them asked, "'what religion do you think we are?"

The oldest one said, "We're not Kathlick, because they pour the water on you."

"We're not Babtis, because they dunk all of you in the water."

"We're not Methdiss, because they just sprinkle water on you."

The littlest one said, "didn't you smell that water?"

They all joined in asking, 'Yeah! What do you think that means?'

"I think it means we're Pissbitarian!"


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7/23/14 6:09 P

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LOL!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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7/22/14 2:37 P

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LOL!!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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7/21/14 4:27 P

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Loved it--- and perhaps more truth than humor!!! LOL

God grant me the strength to reach my goal.


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7/21/14 2:09 P

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LOL!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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7/21/14 6:38 A

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7/20/14 9:43 A

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``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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7/20/14 8:03 A

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LOL!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL SparkPoints: (79,070)
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7/19/14 9:16 P

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Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson


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7/19/14 4:46 P

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A young Italian man excitedly told his mother that he had fallen in love and that he's going to get married. He said, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women tomorrow and you try to guess which one I'm going to marry." His mother agreed and the next day he brought three beautiful women to the house. He sat them down on the couch and they all chatted for a while. After a while the young man said, "Okay, Ma, guess which one of these girls is the one I'm going to marry," to which she immediately replied, "The one on the right." "That's amazing, Ma, you're right", exclaimed her son, "How did you know?" The Italian woman lifted one eyebrow and replied, "Easy...I don't like her!

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Lord, bless my diet buddies and help me met my 2014 weight goals of 60 pounds.
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7/19/14 10:08 A

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LOL!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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7/18/14 11:54 A

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I wonder if the snoring thing will work with my husband!

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7/18/14 11:48 A

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LOL!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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7/17/14 9:04 A

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LOL!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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7/17/14 2:48 A

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"The reason people find it so hard to be happy is they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be."
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7/16/14 1:12 P

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LOL!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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7/16/14 9:15 A

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``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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7/16/14 6:50 A

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Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson


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7/16/14 12:59 A

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Some retired deputy sheriffs went to a retreat in the mountains. To save money, they decided to sleep two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first deputy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different deputy's turn. In the morning, same thing - hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night."

The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player - a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning," he said. They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happened?"

He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night long."


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7/15/14 11:55 A

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LOL thank you

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7/15/14 10:54 A

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LOVE THEM BOTH. LOL!!! THANK YOU.

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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7/14/14 9:28 A

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Love them both! Thanks for sharing. emoticon

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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BOTH JOKES ARE GREAT AND FUNNY..LOL!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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7/14/14 6:32 A

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emoticon emoticon two great jokes. Thank you!! Deb

Edited by: DEBTEVELDAHL at: 7/14/2014 (06:33)
Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson


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7/14/14 3:04 A

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A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

Soon, the wife became pregnant, and, nine months later, delivered a baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, but was horrified to find an incredibly-ugly baby.

He went to his wife and said, "I cannot possibly be the father of that hideous child. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered."

When his wife blushed, he became suspicious, and demanded, "Have you been fooling around on me?"

His wife confessed, "Not this time."


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Two little old ladies, Connie & Evelyn were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. The short one, Connie, leaned over and said, 'Life is so boring. We never have any fun anymore. For $10.00 I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid, boring flower show!'

'You're on!' said Evelyn, holding up a $10.00 bill.

So Connie slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the flower show.

Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling. Finally, the smiling Connie came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering, clapping crowd.

'What happened?' askedEvalyn.

'I won $1,000 as 1st prize for 'Best Dried Arrangement.. !'


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7/13/14 9:13 A

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Doesn't anyone have any jokes to share? emoticon

Edited by: MRS_TOAD at: 7/13/2014 (09:22)
``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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7/13/14 6:07 A

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LOL!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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7/12/14 6:28 A

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LOL!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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7/11/14 5:42 A

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LOL!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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7/10/14 4:37 P

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LOL!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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7/9/14 10:25 A

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LOL!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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WORKOUTWITHPAM's Photo WORKOUTWITHPAM Posts: 133,303
7/8/14 3:40 P

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emoticon

Co-Leader of the Fitness Instructors Team
Senior Moderator of the Dealing with Depression Team

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ndividual.asp?gid=953


I am not a medical professional or a trained counselor. Please seek professional advice about treatment options.

"The reason people find it so hard to be happy is they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be."
-Marc Pagnol
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7/8/14 9:09 A

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``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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7/8/14 4:56 A

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LOL!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL SparkPoints: (79,070)
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7/7/14 4:52 P

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Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson


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CAROLJEAN64's Photo CAROLJEAN64 Posts: 11,343
7/7/14 10:59 A

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In these challenging economic times, a local house painter was looking for ways to increase his income. He decided to reduce his costs by thinning his paint so it would go further. It seemed to be working quite well until... One day as soon as he finished painting a house, a rain storm came through and washed the watered down paint off the house. As the storm passed, the clouds parted and a voice boomed out, "Repaint and thin no more."

Lost 65 lbs and maintained since 2006.


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7/7/14 5:58 A

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LOL!!!

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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MRS_TOAD's Photo MRS_TOAD SparkPoints: (212,992)
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7/6/14 9:51 A

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``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL SparkPoints: (79,070)
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7/6/14 8:25 A

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Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson


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7/6/14 4:47 A

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LOVE THE POEM.

GOD BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK. TAKE CARE.


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SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (122,690)
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7/6/14 2:51 A

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The Wee Willie Poem

My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out,
What used to be my sex appeal
Is now my water spout!
Time was when, on its own,
From my trousers it would spring,
But now it's just a full time job
To find the flaming thing!
It used to be embarrassing
The way it would behave
For every single morning
It would stand and watch me shave!
Now as old age approaches
It sure gives me the blues
To see it hang its little head
And watch me tie my shoes!


Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
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ndividual.asp?gid=953


Team Leader Essential Tremors :-) (Benign and Familial) www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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Co-Leader Crohn's Can't Stop Me
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ndividual.asp?gid=17464


I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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