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PRIYA_MISHRA's Photo PRIYA_MISHRA Posts: 90
2/7/16 8:21 A

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"I came to this earth so that I can
find a way back to my beloved."
~Rumi


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GOANNA2's Photo GOANNA2 Posts: 13,671
2/7/16 5:21 A

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2/6/16 10:02 A

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Q: How do you avoid wrinkles?

A: Take your glasses off!

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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PRIYA_MISHRA's Photo PRIYA_MISHRA Posts: 90
2/6/16 1:27 A

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"I came to this earth so that I can
find a way back to my beloved."
~Rumi


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2/3/16 9:50 A

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``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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JBSTARAZ's Photo JBSTARAZ Posts: 73
2/3/16 9:24 A

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Too cute! emoticon emoticon

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JBSTARAZ's Photo JBSTARAZ Posts: 73
2/3/16 9:23 A

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GOANNA2's Photo GOANNA2 Posts: 13,671
2/3/16 7:33 A

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EAGERCOMPETITOR's Photo EAGERCOMPETITOR SparkPoints: (9,280)
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2/3/16 2:06 A

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A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer." the man began, "I can explain,

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back..."

"But officer, I just wanted to say...." "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding.

He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom

"In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can".

Nikos Kazantzakis




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2/2/16 6:58 P
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I'd like to do that sometimes, feed the frogs I mean emoticon

~Learn to fly over life obstacles~
I am determined to stay motivated!
Love yourself!


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1/30/16 10:13 A

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Why are frogs so happy?



They eat whatever bugs them. emoticon

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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JBSTARAZ's Photo JBSTARAZ Posts: 73
1/29/16 11:32 A

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While not a joke, it was funny in the telling of this story my friend sent me this morning. Flying rabbit - what's not to smile about with that!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-irel
and-35440440

emoticon Hello there, one of my kin flew the coop!

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1/29/16 11:02 A

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``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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1/28/16 3:39 P
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~Learn to fly over life obstacles~
I am determined to stay motivated!
Love yourself!


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JBSTARAZ's Photo JBSTARAZ Posts: 73
1/28/16 2:35 P

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I think this could work for Zombie's too.


Why don't cannibals eat clowns?


They taste funny.

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1/27/16 8:13 P
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~Learn to fly over life obstacles~
I am determined to stay motivated!
Love yourself!


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GOANNA2's Photo GOANNA2 Posts: 13,671
1/27/16 7:34 P

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emoticon for the paws one...

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MACHOL's Photo MACHOL Posts: 2,315
1/25/16 5:46 P

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Shalom

If you don't laugh, I will give you a virtual tickle!

"Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries."
--Astrid Alauda


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GOANNA2's Photo GOANNA2 Posts: 13,671
1/24/16 4:42 P

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1/24/16 10:59 A

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What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?


Ouch!

``````(.)~(.)``````
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--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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MACHOL's Photo MACHOL Posts: 2,315
1/23/16 8:19 P

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Cute.

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Shalom

If you don't laugh, I will give you a virtual tickle!

"Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries."
--Astrid Alauda


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JBSTARAZ's Photo JBSTARAZ Posts: 73
1/23/16 4:48 P

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I was at a dog event today and saw a tee shirt our Humane Society sells:

Give Paws A Chance

:)

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1/22/16 8:06 P
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~Learn to fly over life obstacles~
I am determined to stay motivated!
Love yourself!


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MACHOL's Photo MACHOL Posts: 2,315
1/18/16 12:20 P

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Shalom

If you don't laugh, I will give you a virtual tickle!

"Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries."
--Astrid Alauda


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1/17/16 7:07 A

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1/16/16 10:37 A

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We don't need a dinner bell in our house.
We have a smoke detector.

(This joke reminds me of my much younger years.)

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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MACHOL's Photo MACHOL Posts: 2,315
1/15/16 3:51 P

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Shalom

If you don't laugh, I will give you a virtual tickle!

"Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries."
--Astrid Alauda


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GOANNA2's Photo GOANNA2 Posts: 13,671
1/15/16 6:59 A

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1/12/16 10:44 A

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What do you get from a pampered cow?




Spoiled Milk

``````(.)~(.)``````
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--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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MACHOL's Photo MACHOL Posts: 2,315
1/11/16 5:26 P

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Shalom

If you don't laugh, I will give you a virtual tickle!

"Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries."
--Astrid Alauda


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GOANNA2's Photo GOANNA2 Posts: 13,671
1/10/16 5:56 A

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1/6/16 11:21 A

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``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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EDIEOFTHEBIRDS's Photo EDIEOFTHEBIRDS SparkPoints: (2,253)
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1/5/16 4:27 P

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Why can't a bike stand up by itself?
Because it's too (two) tired.

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GOANNA2's Photo GOANNA2 Posts: 13,671
1/4/16 5:24 A

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12/25/15 8:56 A

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Cute! emoticon

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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MACHOL's Photo MACHOL Posts: 2,315
12/24/15 11:37 P

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What do you call a snake that rides around on the front of a car?
A windshield viper.

Shalom

If you don't laugh, I will give you a virtual tickle!

"Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries."
--Astrid Alauda


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12/24/15 6:37 A

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12/20/15 10:53 A

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``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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MACHOL's Photo MACHOL Posts: 2,315
12/19/15 10:10 P

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When Noah was loading the Ark, where did he put the bees?
In the Ark-hives.

Shalom

If you don't laugh, I will give you a virtual tickle!

"Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries."
--Astrid Alauda


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12/19/15 5:32 A

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12/8/15 9:33 A

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Love it! emoticon

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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MACHOL's Photo MACHOL Posts: 2,315
12/7/15 5:03 P

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Why do bees have sticky hair?
They use honeycombs.

Shalom

If you don't laugh, I will give you a virtual tickle!

"Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries."
--Astrid Alauda


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12/6/15 8:49 A

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12/3/15 6:23 P

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Shalom

If you don't laugh, I will give you a virtual tickle!

"Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries."
--Astrid Alauda


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12/3/15 11:44 A

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What are a plumber's favorite shoes?

Clogs

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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FUTURELOSER849's Photo FUTURELOSER849 SparkPoints: (3,647)
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12/1/15 8:51 A

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April

~Scars are souvenirs you never lose~ Goo Goo Dolls

~Start doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible~ Francis of Assisi

~Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect~ Zoey Sayward

~Our greatest weakness lies in giving up~ Thomas A. Edison



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11/30/15 11:50 P

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Cute!

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11/27/15 9:56 A

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emoticon Very cute!

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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MACHOL's Photo MACHOL Posts: 2,315
11/26/15 9:59 P

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Why won't Mr. Crab share?

Because he's shellfish.

Shalom

If you don't laugh, I will give you a virtual tickle!

"Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries."
--Astrid Alauda


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11/26/15 7:18 A

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11/25/15 6:23 P

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Shalom

If you don't laugh, I will give you a virtual tickle!

"Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries."
--Astrid Alauda


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11/25/15 10:16 A

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``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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FOXBAY99 SparkPoints: (19,668)
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11/24/15 11:38 P

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Do you know what well -balanced diet is?

It's a cookie in each hand.

GOANNA2's Photo GOANNA2 Posts: 13,671
11/11/15 6:00 A

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11/10/15 9:45 A

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``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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MACHOL's Photo MACHOL Posts: 2,315
11/9/15 4:38 P

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A man went to see his psychiatrist. He said, "doctor, doctor, I keep having strange dreams! One night I dream I'm a tee pee, the next night I dream that I'm a wigwam. Then I dream that I'm a tee pee, then I dream that I'm a wigwam. What does this mean?" The psychiatrist replied, "it's simple. You're two tents!"

Shalom

If you don't laugh, I will give you a virtual tickle!

"Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries."
--Astrid Alauda


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11/6/15 11:52 P

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11/2/15 5:23 P

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Shalom

If you don't laugh, I will give you a virtual tickle!

"Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries."
--Astrid Alauda


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10/2/15 10:46 A

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A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?" The man replies, "All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious - Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything --meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything." "Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome." "Why chrome?" asks the patient. To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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IM30NOWWHAT's Photo IM30NOWWHAT SparkPoints: (614)
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10/1/15 8:17 P

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I love all the jokes! Thank you SOOO much for lifting my mood during a not-so-happy evening!

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8/22/15 4:30 P

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MARCIALS51's Photo MARCIALS51 SparkPoints: (60,645)
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8/1/15 4:08 P

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"But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win..." Philippines 3: 13 & 14


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8/1/15 3:30 P

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7/29/15 10:07 A

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``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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7/29/15 9:52 A

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What animal has more lives than a cat?


A frog. It croaks every night. emoticon

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6/25/15 8:58 A

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6/20/15 9:55 A

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6/18/15 5:30 A

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6/17/15 8:27 A

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``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (176,624)
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6/16/15 10:22 P

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I just pinched this off a SparkFriend's (HEALTHIER-VICKI) blog!


A Great Lesson on Stress

A young lady confidently walked around the room with a raised glass of water while leading a seminar and explaining stress management to her audience. Everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'Half empty or half full?' She fooled them all. "How heavy is this glass of water?" she inquired with a smile. Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. To 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

She continued, "and that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practiced.

So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night. Pick them up again tomorrow if you must.

1 * Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue!

2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4 * Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5 * If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8 * Never buy a car you can't push.

9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

10 * Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

11 * Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12 * The second mouse gets the cheese.

13 * When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

14 * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

15 * Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

16 * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

17 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

18 * Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

19 *Save the earth..... It's the only planet with chocolate!*


Today someone asked me if I liked you all. I laughed, and said, "Ha! That's funny!! I absolutely LOVE them!! They're funny, caring, crazy as heck, sweet, beautiful, they're reading this post right now & I love them!!"

Be the kind of person that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says~~ "Oh Crap, they're up!" emoticon emoticon


Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 6/16/2015 (22:22)
Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=953


Team Leader Essential Tremors :-) (Benign and Familial) www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=30225


Co-Leader Crohn's Can't Stop Me
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=17464


I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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