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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (84,417)
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7/15/12 12:03 P

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Gabby, thank you for the specific recommendations! It really helps to have a team member with some professional training!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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GABBY308's Photo GABBY308 Posts: 7,918
7/15/12 10:35 A

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I understand about not being able to afford therapy. Call your local crisis center though and they may be able to refer you to group sessions which may be free and there may be centers which offer a few free sessions but the crisis center would know. It takes so much longer to go it alone.

As far as self help - I have textbooks on ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) but I believe that there are books written for the lay person on it. Just type it in Amazon. I think you may find it useful. MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) therapy by Jon Kabat Zin helped me. He gives very good instruction for useful meditations.

Also, look over our topic under the "fun" forum for Books Cd's etc.

Edited by: GABBY308 at: 7/15/2012 (14:29)





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RUNAMOKQT's Photo RUNAMOKQT SparkPoints: (4,353)
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7/14/12 5:22 P

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Thanks for the advice ladies, but since I'm not working and my boyfriend is not rich I can't be too picky on professional help, which makes it alot harder. Then when something is hard it takes me forever to get around to doing it. What if my boyfriend gets tired of waiting for me to get better, then what do I do. I think in the position I'm in I'm better off with self help.

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. Thomas Jefferson


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MLMEYER98's Photo MLMEYER98 SparkPoints: (54,331)
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7/9/12 2:20 P

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YES- I understand and have been there.
I agree with having a "good fit" with any professional so I do my research on any referral I'm given- you can see their credentials, school affiliates, degrees and their speciality; any negative complaints & positive complements.
I had to have female therapist who dealt with abuse (physical mental & sexual) and co-dependency.
Gentle healing prayers being sent your way... emoticon

Mary


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GABBY308's Photo GABBY308 Posts: 7,918
7/8/12 4:28 P

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Please contact the American Counseling Assoc (or whatever country you're in) and ask for referrals for a female who specializes in trauma. EMDT, CBTand ACT are a few of the therapies that are helpful for treating PTSD. If you can't function you need more than self help books. Please don't just rely on medication, although that can be useful in some situations along with counseling.
Here's a link for finding one in the U.S.
www.nbcc.org/CounselorFind

I also had a couple of bad experiences before I learned what to look for in a counselor.

Meanwhile, journaling and meditation helped me and feel free to vent here whenever you need to.
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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,228
7/7/12 10:39 P

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Courage to Heal is one of the main books that helped me also.

I agree finding the right fit is a big thing, and it took me a while to work my way through several therapists before I found one who was actually able to listen to me and hear what I was saying. She had been abused herself and had not only survived but had worked through her issues and was "clear" enough to help me. She did not get hooked into her own stuff - but was able to take care of me while I worked through my stuff.

So pleased this site is helpful as well. I enjoy Spark People too. It has helped me so much.

Edited by: -WISPY- at: 7/7/2012 (22:41)
"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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RUNAMOKQT's Photo RUNAMOKQT SparkPoints: (4,353)
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7/7/12 10:12 P

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I've seen 2 doctors and about 5 therapists haven't found a good fit yet. I was on medication for a while but I had to move and I haven't looked for a new doctor yet because of transportation complications. The things that's helped me the most though is the books; "Courage to heal", and "Change your mind, change your life", and this site. But its been almost 2 years since I've been able to work, or even do the things I used to be able to do in a day.

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. Thomas Jefferson


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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,228
7/7/12 9:17 P

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O my friend yes I have been there and I needed support from a therapist and other people who knew where I was at. Have you seen your doctor. He/she needs to know how badly you are really feeling - without putting a brave face on it.

I do not know if you are still in your abusive relationship, but I found the only thing that began to work for me was getting away. This is actually how I was in my first marriage. He was not abusive in the way the second one was. It was a different kind of abuse that I did not recognise till I learned more about what abuse actually is. By the time I left that first marriage I was almost a cot case. Thankfully I was blessed by having a very good friend who was a psychologist and before I was admitted to care (I was literally on the verge of a complete breakdown), he suggested I go and live with a couple of counsellors who had themselves both suffered with depression and all the other stuff I was going through. They agreed and I lived with them for six weeks until I got over the worst of it and found some kind of clarity. It was far better than being in the psych ward which I had thought I would have to go to and I had constant caring and feedback while I was with them. I did not know when I left my husband that I would not go back. I just knew if I didnt leave when I did, I would go insane. By the day I finally left I could not speak..... I have no idea how I let it get so bad - but I was very co-dependent and could not imagine ever living on my own or how I would survive. It terrified me which was why I stayed as long as I did.

There is hope I promise. I live on my own these days and just love it and have a freedom like never before to do things I actually want to do and enjoy life. I no longer have any desire to change my current way of living and I am contented. Wonderful unexpected things do come along and these days I am able to enjoy them to the full.

It was getting medical and psychological help that saved me when I was at this point in my life.
I had not, at that time, even begun to work on the childhood abuse... my current life was giving me so much to deal with I couldnt have coped with anything else. However it was as a result of leaving that I began therapy on my past as well as my present, and that is when I began to see what was happening and became able to start making some life altering changes.

We are here for you. You are not alone. emoticon emoticon

Edited by: -WISPY- at: 7/7/2012 (21:22)
"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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RUNAMOKQT's Photo RUNAMOKQT SparkPoints: (4,353)
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7/7/12 9:01 P

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The courgage to heal book says I'm in the emergency stage. I can barely take care of myself, dealing with people fills me with anxiety, and doing anything to make my life better fills me with dread. Has anyone been through this? How long did it last? How did you get through it?

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. Thomas Jefferson


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