I wanted to share with you my situation because it's similar. And this is sort of an update on me as well..
Last November, right before Thanksgiving, my husband decided to get drunk. We were living in Hawaii, he is in the Army. As it was, being on an island for three years makes you feel trapped-but to be trapped with an abuser, puts you in a depression, trust me. I wasn't engaging in any back and forth with him, which upset him. He threw a frozen hot pocket at my head to get my attention. Then, he decided to bring out the gas can and sprinkle gas around the kitchen, lit a rug on fire. While this was happening, he attacked me and my 18 year old son, I got the worst of it. Police came, he was arrested.
His actions caused us to be evicted. My son and I had nowhere to go. We had to leave though, so we ended up going to one of my son's relatives. (he's from my first marriage) This was in late January this year. I'm apart from my son, with a friend of mine in Vegas. He's in Wyoming. Husband is in Hawaii still-being Chaptered out of the Army-a dishonorable...which is a process.
This incident I have considered a blessing. It has allowed me the time apart from him to be free of criticism and abuse. My strength and confidence is getting better, and I'm weaning off of my anti-depressants of two years. They helped, but made me numb. I have spark to help me build the healthy habits I neglected for so long. I don't post often, only a handful of spark-friends so far, but it's still early...
I can't explain the feeling of being free of this!! I am happy now. Really. Time apart is just what I needed. Puts things into perspective. Even though I'm away from my son, don't have a job, or my belongings, I am happy.
But he doesn't want me to be. And that's too bad because I'm 39 years old and ready to be me.
While in Hawaii, a Family Advocate turned me on to a book that has helped me understand the way an abuser thinks/acts and why- and this book has been a TREMENDOUS help!! If I could afford it, I would purchase it for everyone....it's a must read.
"Why Does He Do That" by Lundy Bancroft.
Thanks for letting me share.
The strength is in you, whatever you decide.
Please stay in touch
| current weight: 145.0