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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,069
3/20/12 1:49 A

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Trisha that is something that helped me enormously and I still use these days to get rid of negative feelings about people or situations, anything that disrups my peace. It is amazing how this does get the negative feelings out. The non-censorship is a necessity. Didnt know I knew so many bad words. :o) Or so much rage bottled up inside me.

Keep up the good work.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
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"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
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"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
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Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
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TRISHASPARKLES's Photo TRISHASPARKLES SparkPoints: (8,677)
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3/19/12 12:24 P

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Something that my therapist suggested to me is to just write about what I am feeling and my experiences. The challenge is to write freely without any editing or censoring, to metaphorically vomit out all of the negative emotions.

"Life is about process, not stasis. We are processes, not things. We constantly change, even when we resist, even when we think we are stuck...Stuckness is an illusion" ~ Jessica Macbeth


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ROTTLADY's Photo ROTTLADY SparkPoints: (43,095)
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2/14/12 6:40 P

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Friends whom you can talk to and trust can help by at least listening and maybe you have a church who you could turn to?


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GABBY308's Photo GABBY308 Posts: 7,892
2/14/12 10:52 A

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I highly recommend therapy but if you can't afford it there are other things that you can do. First, I would recommend calling the county Mental Health office as Lady Irish suggested. In my area I would call our crisis services hotline because they have all the referrals at their fingertips. As Wispy said a group may be better for you at this time, if you can't afford a therapist one on one. They're usually facilitated by a licensed professional and are a lot less expensive than individual therapy.

Unfortuntately, I had a really bad experience with a male therapist (who since lost his license for misconduct) and I tried to heal myself. It took me 30 years to get to a place where I no longer sabotaged myself with low self esteem.
What finally helped me was immersing myself in self help books, meditation, and visualizations of the me I wanted to be.
Check out the other topic in this forum for "Anything That Can Help Others"
and this one for books:
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_mes
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geboard_thread.asp?board=12420x2525xR>42081968


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-WISPY-'s Photo -WISPY- Posts: 24,069
2/14/12 1:03 A

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Hi so happy you have joined our Team. We all have our own stories of how we dealt with stuff. I went to therapy for my childhood abuse. But I progressed from that to abusive men which is what I think you are referring to. I didnt get much freedom til I finally left my second abusive husband after he almost killed me. The police suggested I went to a Victim Support Group and we were all victims of adult abuse there. It was so good to be with others who had experienced the same type of abuse as I had, in fact our stories were all so similar we decided we could have all been with the same man. It was after a couple of years in there I came to realise my problem was that I always chose the same sort of man. The abuse was not my fault directly, but I always chose abusive men. I was drawn to them as they were to me. So recovery involved realising this fact and not expecting the "bad boys" to ever be anything except what they were. Therapy also played a big part in my recovery but mainly for the childhood abuse. I learned so much in victim support about why we are attracted to those men and for me it was the story of my life. But others have different reasons. Many of us suffer/ed with co-dependency issues, low self-esteem and sometimes addiction so dealing with those things certainly helped me to keep myself free from this type of relationship.

You are not alone, there is great support here as well for us all.

Hugs Wispy.

"Give thanks for everything until you are absolutely sure it is not a blessing in disguise." Eastern Proverb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Be the change you wish to see in the world.." Mahatma Gandhi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Quitters never win and winners never quit." Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make the decision to enjoy today. Do what you need to do for tomorrow - but live fully in TODAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 55,263
2/14/12 12:26 A

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I don't know where you live, but if you're in the US check your county's Mental Health Association. They can refer you to community clinics with sliding scales, from low to even no fee depending on your circumstances. That's how I met my therapist.

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)

"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)

Please visit my blog:
www.cuisinequests.blogspot.com/


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SMILIN_ZEPHIE's Photo SMILIN_ZEPHIE Posts: 123
2/14/12 12:11 A

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Spark has been an amazing help so far and as soon as I get insurance I plan to get some therapy (I've been planning that for a while).

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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (82,996)
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2/13/12 11:00 P

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Finding the right therapist can be a lifesaver. I worked intensively for several years on incest issues. I've also done some personal growth workshops aimed at changing thought patterns and core beliefs, I have read some wonderfully helpful and healing books--some of which are listed on my Spark page in the read more about (along with just for fun titles!). Affirmations & meditation help, connecting with positive people. I had some success solo Sparking, but when I discovered the joy and power of teams (the right ones for me, anyway), my life became so much better! emoticon and my emoticon s emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 55,263
2/13/12 9:52 P

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I've been in therapy for years and I still haven't figured it out. But we're here to help and support you any way we can.

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)

"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)

Please visit my blog:
www.cuisinequests.blogspot.com/


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SMILIN_ZEPHIE's Photo SMILIN_ZEPHIE Posts: 123
2/13/12 7:40 P

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How do you deal with the pain of abuse? Some days are really good and others are sucky. An ex of mine got in touch with me and that made a 3 month improvement seem to go out the door. I was fine until I talked to him. Ugh.

*Just so people know I'm no longer in touch with either of these men. Just trying to deal with the pain and loneliness.

Edited by: SMILIN_ZEPHIE at: 2/13/2012 (19:41)
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