Thank you Gabby. This was actually VERY helpful. I'm going to do my best to try and start thinking this way.
One of my big downfalls is that I have a job where I don't really have to use my brain. I count change, label product, stock product... It leaves a lot of time for me to be alone with myself in my head, which has never been a good thing. I'm going to try and start using the "That's not me..." method when I get in these loops and see if I can't combat them that way.
This might sound a little silly, but I struggled for a long time with hating the way that I look. There is like a 10 year period of my life where there are no pictures of me at all because I couldn't stand to see myself in pictures. What helped me get over this was playing with my camera and taking pictures of myself. I was home alone one day and I decided to play photo shoot. I did my hair and make-up, dressed up in a bunch of different outfits, and took pictures of myself from all sorts of angles. I actually wound up with 5 or 6 pictures of me that I liked (my profile pic is one of these...lol)! Seeing these pictures helps remind me that, even with a few extra pounds, I am still kind of pretty... Positive affirmations work really well for some people, but I needed something more concrete and this went a long ways towards helping me overcome my body issues. Just a thought
Here are some more thoughts on affirmations. It's all about replacing the negative thinking patterns that keep you stuck with more empowering, hopeful and motivating thoughts and gradually changing your reality by changing your beliefs and what you attract and manifest in your life.
If phrases that state you are at your goal seem too far-fetched, look for something that resonates. One of my favorite Louise Hay affirmations from You Can Heal Your Life is "I nourish myself with spiritual food, and I feel satisfied and free." You can address new behaviors: "I'm making positive changes in my life"; "I'm willing to release the excess weight now"; "I'm letting go of all that weighs me down" (also addresses clutter); "It is safe for me to be beautiful and slender"; "Making healthy choices is a gift I give myself"; "I am a precious child of God (the Goddess); I deserve to look and feel my best."
I've also heard it suggested that to start out, you can begin affirmations with modifiers "I'm willing to ..." or "I'm learning to ...." Then when you start getting your mind retrained, so it doesn't automatically respond with "No way! That's a doggone dirty lie!" you can start shifting over to stating your goals as if they have been achieved with "I am ..." statements. One lady I took a workshop with was fond of adding the phrase "easily and effortlessly" to every affirmation, which I have sometimes borrowed. If you tell yourself making changes is going to be hard--it will be. If you tell yourself it's going to be easy, that can be your experience--especially by taking the baysteps approach.
I hope this is helpful.
Blessed Be, Amanda
"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow; But change outside can only come when deep inside I know: I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can, And I love myself just the way I am."
[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]
Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.
Don't look in the mirror! I'm not being facetious. Try starting with a breathing meditation. There are plenty of instructions on the web. When you're relaxed, close your eyes and just keep repeating "I am ______" Always start with "I am". Just keep repeating it. Eventually it won't sound so stupid. Eventually, you will be able to close your eyes and visualize exactly what you want. It does get easier. Another thing to try is the weekly exercise I posted. I do understand - I was where you were. That's why I know that this works. Write some affirmations down and read them throughout the day. When you have a negative thought, acknowledge it and replace it with a positive. It is hard but
Pounds lost: 18.0
Fitness Minutes: (675) Posts: 27 6/13/11 4:00 P
I guess I might be missing the point about positive affirmations, but if I don't feel sexy, I can't look in the mirror and tell myself I am. And if I can't feel like I'm wanted or needed or good enough, I can't look at myself and tell me those things. It's a big part of what I've been struggling with for the last few weeks. I don't feel like I'm worth anything right now, and telling myself that I do only makes me feel more stupid for lying to myself. How do you get out of such a negative head space when you constantly push yourself back into it?
I know what you're saying...I gained weight because I didn't want to put up with unwanted male advances anymore. Once I gaine it it was too hard to get rid of all the bad habits that contributed to it. I started every diet with "Well, I'm starting tomorrow so today I'll have my favorite foods like pizza and wings and ice cream etc." Then the next day I would be good for 8 hrs. and that was it. I'm sure you know the cycle.
When I joined Sparkpeople last month someone recommended a book called The Gabriel Method by Jon Gabriel. It's mostly about how you are never going to lose weight until you deal with what caused the weight and why you still want to be overweight. He used to weigh over 400 lbs. I only read part of so far but it may help.
I personally used positive affirmations like "I am thin and healthy" and repeated them over and over. I also used self hypnosis and visualizations. I picture myself the weight I want to be. I have a long way to go but I haven't been tempted to sabotage myself since I started here over a month ago. I even picked up pizza for my family today and that's my favorite food! I had chicken and salad.
Pounds lost: 18.0
Fitness Minutes: (6,900) Posts: 618 5/27/11 6:26 P
Has anyone any practical suggestions as to how I can deal with self sabotage?
I use my fat to make sure I'm not noticed but this makes losing weight hard. I always wanted to be hidden and ignored ~ safer than unwanted (negative) attention.
Having dealt with emotional and verbal abuse all my childhood and into adulthood I find it really hard when someone notices something positive about me. If this happens I just want to dive into the food and make myself as ugly as possible.
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