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Just read the jokes to hubbie-we both had tummy laughs. Lisa, thanks for all the great topics-looking forward to every day. To catchup my weeks reading of email-just delete everything except this sites mail-works for me.
"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts." ~Eleanor Roosevelt
A day without a smile is like a day without sunshine****
♥¸.•*¨)♥ -:¦:- ♥~**♥~.•*´¨ ) ♥
♥Your Sparkfriend Barbara.♥*¨)♥
.•*´¨ )♥ ¸.•*¨) ♥-:¦:- ♥¸.•*¨) ♥
This is so right. Thanks Lisa and thanks for the laughs.
Laughs, smiles, & Hugs
Irene from Missouri
Any type of action always drives motivation.
"Arriving at one goal is the starting point to another." - John Dewey
There are many therapeutic benefits of laughter!
Laughter Activates the Immune System.
Laughter Decreases "Stress" Hormones
Helps reduce pain.
Laughter is a good cardiac exercise.
Helps lower blood pressure.
Helps with respiration.
To read more about how it does this go to: www.holisticonline.com/Humor_Therapy
Another good article to read is "The Stress Management and Health Benefits of Laughter"
With that being said...
A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."
When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from skipping."
According to a recent article I just read on nutrition, they said eating right doesn't have to be complicated. Nutritionists say there is a simple way to tell if you're eating right. Colors. Fill your plates with bright colors. Greens, reds, yellows. In fact, I did that this morning. I had an entire bowl of M&M's. It was delicious! I never knew eating right could be so easy.
To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should switch to lower-fat foods; including skim milk. When she said her family would only drink whole milk, I suggested that she keep their regular container and refill it with skim milk. This worked for quite a while, until her daughter asked, one morning, whether the milk was okay.
"Sure, it's fine," my friend answered, fearing she had been found out. "Why do you ask?"
"Because according to the bottle," the daughter explained, "this milk expired two years ago."
Concerned About Too Many Carbs In Your Diet?
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Q: Why did the dumb man snort EQUAL?
A: He thought it was diet coke
Two blondes decided to split a can of Diet cola. One blonde opened the can, and poured half the contents into her own glass, and half into her friend's glass. Before tossing the can, she stopped to read the nutritional information on the side.
"'Only one calorie per can'," she read aloud.
"Hmm," murmured the other blonde. "I wonder which glass has the calorie?"
Anybody else have any diet funnies they would like to share with us
Edited by: INKYINPA at: 1/2/2009 (12:29)
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