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LINDASB12's Photo LINDASB12 SparkPoints: (3,216)
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9/26/13 11:08 P

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First, thank you Letha for leading the discussion. it's been great getting to know everyone on this discussion.
I read a lot of this book before joining the discussion and as I mentioned when I first joined the discussion, I lead a discussion of the book on weightwatcher's forum. I took it over and followed the format of my predecessor, doing each day for a full week.
I found the exercises helpful to learn something about myself. I didn't find I needed all the skills Beck teaches because I didn't struggle with certain things. but I did especially like the sabotaging thoughts and responses. Identifying mine was an eye opener for me and although I thought I would not be able to identify them or find a response if I did, I worked though her technique and found my responses. I have a nice fat diet journal of all the exercises. I also have printed out my food menus on the weeks I've lost more than 1 lb for future reference and included those in my journal. since July I've been keeping track of my blood sugar so that goes in the journal too.
As far as maintenance goes, I'm less than 10 lbs from the top of my healthy weight range. That's my first goal. I hope to be able to go at least 7 lbs lower. but when I get there to the first goal, I'll keep in mind Beck's suggestions to see what is realistic.


Giving up is not an option.


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PAULALALALA's Photo PAULALALALA Posts: 17,355
9/26/13 4:24 P

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Thank you to everyone! And Letha -- GREAT job! I kept up with the thread here, but fell behind in the book a bit. I've made it a personal assignment to sit down with it and write in my little notebook when something strikes me. I'm glad I bought it and feel that I've gained from the reading and exercises--even though I admit I did fall behind. I especially related to all the sabotaging thoughts and feel that learning how to be able to recognize them and talk back to them is a valuable tool in many areas we might be working on...not just weight loss. With the start of the BLC recently I find my computer time is pretty much spent with my co-cappie duties, but it will be interesting to see what books are suggested for the next "book club" discussion.

emoticon Thanks again for all the effort! emoticon

Paula -- Waco, TX area



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PAULAAUTUMN's Photo PAULAAUTUMN Posts: 3,096
9/26/13 10:13 A

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I have really enjoyed this and I know I fell behind and did not post much sorry about that emoticon .
The book teaches you how to do things and alter those annoying negative thoughts. I will borrow it again from time to time and when I can I will probably buy it. It is a good book to dip into when you need a boost.

Thank you Letha for suggesting this and for all your hard work your a emoticon

Please Call me: Paula

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STAV44's Photo STAV44 SparkPoints: (29,503)
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9/26/13 8:53 A

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Letha, I want to personally thank you for all of the time and effort you put into this reading project. I did get behind a couple of times but managed to catch up each time. The ideas and comments that you and some of the other ladies posted were both entertaining and helpful.

As for the book, I was expecting a little bit more.........I'm not exactly sure what but more. I didn't find any of the information new or remarkable. A couple of helpful hints here and there but most we've all heard before. Perhaps, like you said, it was just not the right time for this book.

Thanks again.

My name is Kathy but call me Kat

The spirit in me honors the spirit in you.
Namaste


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LETHA_'s Photo LETHA_ Posts: 3,984
9/25/13 11:13 P

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Time to wrap up this discussion. I want to start off by thanking everyone who read the book, participated in the discussion, or followed the thread. Participation dropped off as the weeks passed but I think thatís typical for online groups working on anything. So let me share my final thoughts.

Concluding Chapters cover determining your lowest maintainable weight & maintaining your weight loss. I would say that these two topics are premature for me. It will be at least two years before Iím under 200 lbs and can really determine what a realistic healthy weight range might be for me.

Speaking of timing, I think this book would have been more helpful to me if I had picked it up last winter. By the time I started reading it I had already successfully stuck to my program for a couple of months.

I think I started reading the book hoping to find some assurance that this time would be different and that I wouldnít fall off the path at some future date and relapse as I have so many times before. I found no such assurance and Iíve thought about that fact a lot while weíve read the book this past 6 weeks, I donít think I will ever find that assurance. I just have to get up every day for the rest of my life ready to battle my demons.

Would I recommend the book? Iím not sure. I canít say I personally found it terribly helpful but I can see how someone else, perhaps at a different place in their journey, might connect with the material differently. I did very much enjoy getting to know my teammates by reading their responses in the thread. This team has a lot of smart and articulate women in it.

Great ride. Thanks again.
emoticon


LINDASB12's Photo LINDASB12 SparkPoints: (3,216)
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9/25/13 10:54 P

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I agree that if we truly make our "diet" a new lifestyle instead of a temporary diet, it does get easier to diet because, "that's just what I do now.". it's not something that will stop when we get to goal. We will still need to watch what we eat so we don't start gaining it back. it's taking me a long time to get to goal. i have no intention of needing to lose more than 50 lbs again. If 5 lbs creeps back on, I'll be right back in losing mode. Well, that's my intention. I know we don't know what surprises in the future might throw us off our plan, but having that in mind is a step in the right direction.

Giving up is not an option.


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PERUSER918's Photo PERUSER918 SparkPoints: (37,048)
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9/25/13 10:28 A

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woohoo. graduation day! I feel like I have come a long way in reading this book. I think we all have that have stayed with it. I've learned a lot and am still within a long process. Reading will not cause me to lose weight, but applying these valuable lessons will.

I learned I cannot go into a restaurant unprepared yesterday. I ate while talking to friends and cleaned my plate with some of the unhealthier foods I formerly ate. Great time to turn that information into a lesson learned. I still stayed in calorie range, but had to do some nutritional tap-dancing for dinner.

Letha and team members:
I know everyone is very busy, but are we considering another book in the future? I'm game, but if not I will continue on my own. I like the format of an idea or chapter a day and I have found some books that are like that.

Colleen

Colleen-Oklahoma
Change your thoughts; change your life.


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LETHA_'s Photo LETHA_ Posts: 3,984
9/25/13 10:11 A

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This is the last of our daily reading assignments. Tomorrow we'll cover the remaining chapters of the book and wrap up this discussion.

For today's reading, I have to agree with Dr. Beck.

"Rough Patches are TEMPORARY"

In fact, I'd say that is true for most things, not just dieting.

LETHA_'s Photo LETHA_ Posts: 3,984
9/25/13 10:08 A

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Day 42 - - September 25, 2013
Practice, Practice, Practice

Note: Tomorrow we will cover the concluding chapters of the book
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A link to all of the worksheets from the book.

www.beckdietsolution.com/cbt-workshe
et
s/



LETHA_'s Photo LETHA_ Posts: 3,984
9/24/13 9:58 P

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Colleen & Linda -

Both of your lists are wonderful. I predict much success in your futures.

emoticon


LINDASB12's Photo LINDASB12 SparkPoints: (3,216)
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9/24/13 4:12 P

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Some of these things I started doing before reading the Beck book:
1) exercise at least 4 times a week, aim for 300+ min. per week (I really intend to do 5 days a week but occasionally that's not possible so I set my standard in order to be flexible on those weeks I have to "do the best I can.")
2) track food - paying attention to good healthy choices and balanced meals.
3) I will continue reading my response cards once a day until I get to goal.
4) I will continue to add to my diet journal at least until I get to goal but I don't write in it each day.

Giving up is not an option.


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PERUSER918's Photo PERUSER918 SparkPoints: (37,048)
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9/24/13 9:49 A

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My to do list:

1. exercise 6 days a week
2. meditate
3. journal
4. track food
5. pat myself on back

That's it in a nutshell. emoticon

Colleen-Oklahoma
Change your thoughts; change your life.


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LETHA_'s Photo LETHA_ Posts: 3,984
9/24/13 9:34 A

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Todayís assignment is to make a new to-do list of the techniques youíve learned in the book that you will continue on a daily basis.

Iíve been reading my advantages of weight loss response card twice per day for more than a month but I donít plan to continue doing that.

Honestly. There was not really any technique that I learned in the book that I will continue to do consistently.

My to-do list for weight loss and maintenance is the following.
1. Track everything you eat.
2. Get at least 20 minutes of cardio every day.
3. Enjoy your life

I plan to do these three things for the rest of my life.


LETHA_'s Photo LETHA_ Posts: 3,984
9/24/13 1:28 A

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+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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Day 41 - - September 24, 2013
Make A New To-Do List
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A link to all of the worksheets from the book.

www.beckdietsolution.com/cbt-workshe
et
s/



PERUSER918's Photo PERUSER918 SparkPoints: (37,048)
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9/23/13 9:55 P

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Pam,

I so agree with you; put my picture up was one of the hardest things to do. First, I had to learn how and then getting up the courage. I am not a vain person, but I was just so unsure of myself.

Letha,

For the most part, I agree with you that most things I have done in spite of my weight issue. However, that did not always make me comfortable with other people. I have always felt people judged me harshly and I think that is why I have been such a people pleaser in the past. Let's just say, I'm working on it! emoticon

Colleen-Oklahoma
Change your thoughts; change your life.


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HAWTGRANNY2014's Photo HAWTGRANNY2014 SparkPoints: (23,276)
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9/23/13 9:35 P

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Sorry I have not been on here much. I have put off some things until I lose weight but not everything. Just embarrassing things, like swimming in a pool with people I don't know.
Otherwise I am pretty much game for anything...well maybe not some amusement rides where they have those bars.
I am happy on sparkpeople talking to people I would never have met otherwise. I realize that is not hard but putting my picture on was hard for me. As you can tell right now, I have not been reading anything.
I think if nothing else we have all become more confident in ourselves.


myname Pam,
Illinois
central standard time zone.

Namaste means the spirit in me honors the spirit in you.




lifestyle warriors..keeping it real

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LINDASB12's Photo LINDASB12 SparkPoints: (3,216)
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9/23/13 5:01 P

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Letha, my story is similar to yours. I have not let weight stop me from enjoying life. I had some fun and new experiences even at my highest weight. However, I did realize that if I wanted to go out and have fun and meet new people, I wanted to be at a healthy weight and look better and did start losing weight in anticipation of meeting up with friends for some fun times together. I don't have a list of things I'll do when I get to goal. I've lost enough now that I could probably do everything now that I could do when I get to goal. So, no, I'm not waiting to enjoy my life.
Colleen, I like the idea of rewarding yourself with one of the activities from your list for each 10 lbs. lost.

Giving up is not an option.


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LETHA_'s Photo LETHA_ Posts: 3,984
9/23/13 12:23 P

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Colleen Ė Thanks for getting us started this morning. I love your list Ė especially taking all kinds of classes. I am just interested in everything and love to learn new stuff.

Linda Ė I love your exercise goal of 300 minutes per week. Thanks for sharing your experience of how you progressed with your exercise. Very inspiring to me.
-----------

Am I waiting until I reach my perfect weight to live my life? I donít think so. My current size restricts my movements. It makes it hard for me to climb steps, stand long, walk far, travel, etc. So to some extent, the possibilities will open up for me as I lose weight. Before I hurt my back in the late 90ís, I had weighed between 300 & 350 for more than 10 years. I didnít wear swimsuits to the beach but in pretty much every other way I just lived my life. I worked, traveled, dated, walked all over Seattle, ate in restaurants, etc. So I guess I do kind of see the weights of 300-350 as being a tipping point that allows me to move more freely again. Of course I still have the herniated disc in my back, my osteoarthritis is worse, and Iíve got 10 years of inactivity since I was last at that weight.

So, I donít really know what the future holds. Iím actually pretty happy with the way my life is now. I think the main thing that will change if Iím smaller is more traveling. But Iím content with where I live, happy in my relationship, hopeful about the future. Life is good and getting better.


LETHA_'s Photo LETHA_ Posts: 3,984
9/23/13 11:53 A

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+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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Day 40 - - September 23, 2013
Enrich Your Life
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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A link to all of the worksheets from the book.

www.beckdietsolution.com/cbt-workshe
et
s/


PERUSER918's Photo PERUSER918 SparkPoints: (37,048)
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9/23/13 10:31 A

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Monday. : Enriching Your Life.

I'm going to make a list of what I always wanted or thought I would want to do at goal weight. Probably a list of ten things in order to keep it manageable. Every time I lose ten pounds, I will try to incorporate one of the things I didn't think I could do until I reached goal, into my life. For instance, swimming: I always thought I had to be a certain weight or cellulite free to enjoy swimming in public. We had a pool in the back yard for many years so that satisfied my craving to play in water. Now that we have moved and I'm too embarassed to swim in the community pool, I have to consider an alternative. Because of the melanoma, I am not going to swim outdoors, but there are a couple of wonderful indoor pools, I could play in nearby. I will put this on my list,
1. swimming
2. bicycling
3. white pants
4. taking my picture
5. joining a social group
6. yoga or tai chi at community center
7. 5K (walking of course)
8. part time job
9. hiking trails
10. any kind of classes

As you notice, most of the things involve something physical that I was afraid people would judge me by my size. Some of the stuff, like yoga or walking a 5K I thought I would not be able to complete and would be made fun of. It is amazing how that stuff sticks in your head. I am now gaining the confidence or the candor to simply say "I want to do THIS" and do it. I am of course my own worse critic, but my inner voice is becoming quieter and more pleasant to be attached to.

Colleen-Oklahoma
Change your thoughts; change your life.


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PERUSER918's Photo PERUSER918 SparkPoints: (37,048)
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9/22/13 6:39 P

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Exercise is my KEY. It always has been and I think it always will be. I have eaten healthily for many years, but this is a newer, improved version. Every time I have lost weight in the past, it involved good old fashioned sweating. There is always a tipping point for me when I realize that I am liking it, again. I was very active when I was a kid and even in high school. I lost interest when my structure changed (ie: Job) Even then, I walked all over Idaho when I was pregnant with my second child. I was pulling a little red radio flyer wagon with my son in it during some of Colorado's coldest days. I loved it, but it always takes an initiation period to reinstate my love of movement. Once, I do, it's a done deal. Knowing all of this, I am trying to put one foot in front of the other and walk as often and as long as possible. I will introduce more distance and intensity soon and then home videos and weights. I have a plan and will schedule and rotate workouts once I am comfortable with everything on my list.

Colleen-Oklahoma
Change your thoughts; change your life.


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LINDASB12's Photo LINDASB12 SparkPoints: (3,216)
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9/22/13 4:12 P

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I had gotten into exercise before reading the beck book. I started with walking. That didn't work so well in the winter time. I heard about zumba and that sounded fun. I loved the music that went with it but when I started, just before my 61st birthday, my body was having a really hard time with it. I decided I'd do the moves slower if I had to, modify them where I needed to, and I didn't "do jumping". I can do a little jumping now. And I can keep up with zumba. I even use weights sometimes when I do the routines. this was a long slow process, slowly increasing time and intensity. but I really do enjoy zumba. I do a few different types of exercise for variation so I don't get bored with it.
Exercise is a routine for me now. usually 5 days a week, it's not "if" I'll exercise, it's "when". It's a priority that I know I have to get in before my grandson's come home from school. I don't mind it and and it makes me feel good to be able to move better than I could 15, 25, 35, and 45 lbs ago. I know it's good for my health and I see how it positively effects my blood sugar (pre-diabetic). I like being more flexible and able to perform physical tasks without too much trouble. I know I have to continue to exercise in order to do that. My aim is 300+ minutes of exercise a week. I've fallen a little short last few weeks but that's still my goal and I'm trying to get back to it.

Giving up is not an option.


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LETHA_'s Photo LETHA_ Posts: 3,984
9/22/13 9:06 A

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Lee Ė love your new pumpkin profile image. Great way to start off the fall season.

Linda Ė I like that youíve committed to lifelong changes

Colleen Ė Iím a huge fan of spreadsheets and analysis. Iím sure you will power through any plateaus that interrupt your journey.
---------------------------------

Exercise:

Dr. Beckís advice seems to be directed at folks who would ďrather notĒ exercise. She doesnít really address physical pain which is my big obstacle for exercise.

The difficulty of exercising when you have fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis is that itís counter-intuitive. Pain signals are supposed to provide you with information about what NOT to do. But reasonable amounts exercise will actually help these two conditions. So you have to use your mind to convince yourself to purposely inflict pain on yourself in the hopes of reducing pain or at least not increasing pain down the road.

I tried to think back before the fibro and the arthritis. I didnít exercise then either. I was a single parent working full time spending over 2 hours each day commuting by city bus into and out of Seattle. After I finished laundry, shopping, & homework supervision I felt like I DESERVED to eat pizza in front of the TV.

My son is now in his 30ís and Iím retired so I have an abundance of free time to spend both exercising and also on things I consider fun.

Much of Dr. Beckís advice focuses on making exercise fun which I also hear a lot on SparkPeople. Itís hard for me to relate to that at the moment. All movement represents pain to me and something to endure and get through. But as my health improves and it gets to be less of a herculean effort to move around, Iíll look for opportunities to make movement less of a chore and more fun.


SHARON2014's Photo SHARON2014 Posts: 2,501
9/22/13 8:25 A

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Linda - what you described is exactly what we all know - this is a life-long journey and is based on changes that have to be sustained over time. I still tend to treat it as a short-term sprint and when I get "there" I can get back to "normal". This is the new normal, as they say.


SharonLee - Michigan

Fuchsia Beauties, Inc.
BLC26

NO EXCUSES!

DO IT ONE MORE DAY!

ARE YOU INTERESTED OR ARE YOU COMMITTED?


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LETHA_'s Photo LETHA_ Posts: 3,984
9/22/13 1:15 A

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+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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Day 39 - - September 22, 2013
Keep Up With Exercise
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A link to all of the worksheets from the book.

www.beckdietsolution.com/cbt-worksheets/

LINDASB12's Photo LINDASB12 SparkPoints: (3,216)
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9/21/13 5:00 P

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I haven't completely worked though this section yet but I do know about plateaus. In 2009, I lost 30 lbs starting at the end of March. I continued to lose very slowly till July, 2010. then my brother died and although I didn't realize it affected my WL, I plateaued. I stayed on that plateau for a year. then another brother got seriously ill Aug. 2011 and I was with him everyday, not doing exercise and not tracking my food. I was also not going for my weekly weigh ins and the weight started slowly coming back. I regained 15 lbs. In march 2012 , I returned to ww meetings, started tracking food again, and I started losing again, very slowly. it was 0.2 and 0.4 lb losses. By Sept. 2012, I felt like I wasn't losing and was ready to give up. Then I looked at my weight tracker and found out I'd lost 10 lbs in 6 months. that encouraged me to keep going, try harder. I upped my exercise, increasing time and intensity. I made some changes in my food choices. More no fat dairy, less low fat. I made some substitutions for snacks that were lower calorie. I focused on getting in my water and ww "good health guidelines" and eating more ww "powerfoods". I'm down 32 lbs from March 2012.
My weight loss has not been fast. My age is a factor, I'm sure (62). I used to get discouraged about the slow weight loss and envious of people who could lose faster. But I've come to terms with it and I am encouraged to realize that as Beck says in one of the earlier chapters, slow weight loss tends to stay off better than fast weight loss. It's taking me a long time but I've truly made changes in lifestyle. I'm not thinking I'm going to eat differently when I get to goal. I know what I have to do to keep the weight off once I get to goal, the same thing I'm doing now.
I hadn't read the Beck book when I had my big plateau but I did what she suggested. I lowered calories AND upped exercise. Maybe if I had read the book at that time, my plateau would have been shortened. But, I didn't give up and continued to use a proven weight loss program that I'm comfortable with, familiar with and I know I'd had success with.
One of Beck's suggestions is if you plateau, this could be your goal. We have the option to accept it and maintain our weight. I was almost ready to do that a year ago. I was thinking, "I'm not getting anywhere. I may as well stop trying to lose weight." I'm so glad I didn't stop and realized all the little losses DID add up I wanted to lose faster but I decided at that point, if I have to 0.2 and 0.4 my way down to goal, I was going to do it and hopefully in another 6 months, I'd be down another 10. Here is it a year later, and I'm down 22 more lbs. (not losing much faster but I'm okay with it.)


Giving up is not an option.


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PERUSER918's Photo PERUSER918 SparkPoints: (37,048)
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9/21/13 10:27 A

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Letha,

I always like how you reason things out. I am constantly working things out in my head, too. I believe the old saying that knowledge is power. When I understand what I am doing, it feels powerful.

Plateaus: Haven't had one yet on this journey. I know it is lurking around a corner, but since I am losing so slowly, I hope my body is adjusting more and more as I go. I think when I realize I have hit a plateau, I will keep a small spreadsheet where I enter the info. such as changes in diet, exercise, stress levels, etc... and monitor what is going on with me, so I can make adjustments to stay motivated. Also, I will start reading more about plateaus and what strategies and motivational techniques people used. Finally, I will use visualization to see myself becoming thinner and healthier. Using the mind is a powerful tool for success.

Colleen-Oklahoma
Change your thoughts; change your life.


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LETHA_'s Photo LETHA_ Posts: 3,984
9/21/13 8:08 A

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On the topic of plateauís, Dr. Beck advises you cut your calories or exercise more which seems perfectly reasonable to me. I know that my rate of weight loss will slow down. When I started at 526lbs my Basal Metabolic Rate was 3032 calories per day. Now that Iíve dropped 59 lbs, my Basal Metabolic rate has also dropped to 2775 calories per day. Thatís a difference of 257 calories per day, 1799 per week, which translates to Ĺ a pound. And I know things will continue to slow down from here. My calories are already pretty low so Iíll be faced with exercising more which I hope to do, or accepting a slower rate of loss which I will also have to do down the road.

LETHA_'s Photo LETHA_ Posts: 3,984
9/21/13 12:12 A

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+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Day 38 - - September 21, 2013
Deal with a Plateau
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A link to all of the worksheets from the book.

www.beckdietsolution.com/cbt-workshe
et
s/


PERUSER918's Photo PERUSER918 SparkPoints: (37,048)
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9/20/13 8:53 P

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Paula,

I really like your idea of getting a cup of tea and curling up. For me I would have a delicious new novel in my lap. The fact is it would take the focus off of soothing myself with food and instead soothing myself by doing some of my favorite things. Touche!

Colleen-Oklahoma
Change your thoughts; change your life.


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LINDASB12's Photo LINDASB12 SparkPoints: (3,216)
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9/20/13 5:59 P

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I have read this section but haven't really "worked through" the last few sections of the book. I did finish reading it, though.
Of course, stress is unavoidable and finding ways to deal with it is important whether we are stress eaters or not. The suggestions: solve the problem, relax, and change your mindset all sound reasonable. I always like to solve problems when possible. When we can't do that, we do need to find a way to relax and and have reasonable expectations, instead of the rigid "should" and "shouldn't" thinking. I need to apply these suggestions to some situations I'm dealing with. I am not a stress eater, but these suggestions are good for my health anyway.

Giving up is not an option.


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Good morning. Itís great to see the conversation going on this morning. Thank you for sharing.
emoticon
Linda Ė Congratulations on your 47.6lb loss. Itís interesting to me that you associate your confidence in your ability to reach your goal with having been thin as a child and young adult. My struggle with weight started at the age of 10. Makes me wonder how much our childhood self image affects our ability to accomplish our goals.

Paula Ė I like that you are still using the ďNo ChoiceĒ and giving yourself credit in your journal for positive behavior. Iím still reading my advantages of losing weight response card twice a day but Iíve slacked off on my credit journal. Iíve never really had to deal with people putting me down verbally. I mean Iíve dealt with other kinds of manipulations and passive aggressive garbage but for whatever reason I donít recall anyone ever being openly verbally critical of me. Not sure why. Iím glad to hear you were able to push past it and find an inner strength to help you move forward.
-------------------

Like Paula, I think Dr. Beckís formula for relaxation makes sense.
Solve the problem.
Relax
Change your mind set.

Also, like Paula, I like a cup of tea to help me get mellow. Iím particularly fond of yogi teas. They have a calming tea that I grab when Iím really having a hard time.

For changing your mindset, the concept of letting go of ďshouldĒ or ďshouldnítĒ is something Iíve worked with before. In general, Iím more accepting of flaws in other people then in myself. Although I do still get irritated with people. The things that irritate me about other people are dishonesty, hypocrisy, and disorganization. Among the things that irritate me about myself is the fact that I let other people irritate me.

I think Dr. Beck makes some good points about accepting people for who they are rather then who you think they should be. Getting upset because of the bad behavior of others ultimately hurts you more than them. But relationships of all kinds are a lot more complex than that. Being assertive about your needs and expectations, setting boundaries, and interest based negotiation are all parts of a healthy relationship. Yet these things start from a place of dissatisfaction with the behavior of another person. So rather than just accept other people as imperfect, I think we need to look at what kinds of reasonable steps we can take in relationships to ensure our needs are met. After that we are faced with a decision to accept the flaws of the people in our lives or to limit our exposure to them if we find they are an overly negative influence.

Accepting flaws in myself is a bit harder. I sometimes wish I could limit my exposure to my own negative thoughts. Circular thinking where I worry and fret over minor stuff when it does no good whatsoever. Journaling is the most effective thing Iíve found for that.

Well, enough from me today.


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9/20/13 4:18 A

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Emotional Eating

This is something that I tend to do and working on it so that I don't do it. If I am upset I go for food to comfort me. I tend to go for meals that I find comforting or maybe snacks that I like, usually savoury rather than sweet. Whilst eating the foods I felt better but the reality was only a distraction a mechanism to cope with things that really did not work.
I have found that when I am upset rather than eat I have a cup of Earl Grey tea and listen to some music and relax. If I am really upset and end up in tears again I head for the Earl Grey and curl up in my chair and drink it slowly rather than stuff my face.

I am slowly learning that giving in to my sabotaging thoughts is none productive and that NO CHOICE is working for me. Each time I don't give into emotional eating I tell myself Well Done and add it to my blog and journal so I can look back and see how far I have come.

Solve Problems

These come in many forms and need attention when they occur.
For me the Problem can be Exercise due to pain and the limitations it causes.
Before I would say it hurts so don't do it. Know I say find a way around it okay so I can't get on the floor to exercise can I:
a) use the bed instead
b) find a different exercise maybe on You tube that will work the same muscles that I can do
c) do chair exercises instead.


Then there are the problems of everyday life or things that crop up unexpectedly that throw plans out the window. Rather than decide all is lost I now do what I can and alter plans to suit. So when DH is having a bad day and I need to help him more than normal I alter things so that I can still exercise. It may not be as much as planned but 10 minutes three times a day is better than nothing. Meal plans may be altered when I end up in the hospital with DH's heart problems but rather than head for Junk food I get out a meal that I had made and frozen. That way I an still eating within my plan even if I am not having the meal I decided to have in the first place.
Some things we cannot plan for and have to deal with them the best way we can at the time but deciding to not to let things overwhelm you and taking them one day at a time is better than throwing in the towel.


Weigh Day

Okay I had to change my diet to my second choice and gained 2 pounds. That was fine I always do when I start the High Fibre diet. I did not alter my ticker as I knew this was a temporary thing. So now I have weighed myself and found that I had lost 3 pounds the 2 I had gained and one extra. The ticker shows a loss of 1 pound.
The scales are a tool only and not the whole picture I look at None Scale Victories (NSV's) as well.
I have a pair of trousers that I could not wear as they were far too tight, I got them out the other day and tried them on they fit comfortably.
I like the idea of a graph to show how far I have come and that I can do this.

Believe it

This has always been hard for me believing that I do something and succeed. I was always surrounded by people putting me down and not supporting me that I would start something and give up. This went for dieting as well I would start out well and then give in as I had no support or encouragement. Even when I did lose weight I was told' You'll put it all back on again I don't know why you bother'
Now I know I can do it and have the support and encouragement I need and I believe in myself. Having Sparkpeople to come to means I have friends around me that understand and encourage me to keep going.
The check list from the book helps as well as it means I am working on things every day.

Reduce Stress
Having been under a lot of stress lately I needed time to relax and unwind. So I put away the computer and did other things for a few days. I was able to sit and read, listen to music, do the chores that needed doing and keep things going that were important.
The result is I am now feeling much better and ready to get back to doing things here on Sparkpeople.
Things happen that cause a lot of stress but sorting them out means you are taking control of the situation and sometimes that means letting go of other things whilst you deal with the big problem.
My eating plan stayed intact, my exercise plan was still executed I simply relaxed some of my self imposed rules and got on with the important things.
I am not saying it was easy to do but once I got things sorted out and I started to see the wood for the trees things got easier.
The three step strategy in the book is brilliant.
1 Solve the Problem
2 Relax
3 Change your Mindset

These sound simple but they do work and recognising that I am human and need help at times is all part of this.






Please Call me: Paula

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I'm a little behind here. I'm responding to day 36. I agree with you, Letha, I was losing weight with weight watchers before I picked up the Beck book in Jan. I've lost 47.6 and I lost 32 of those lbs before I ever picked up the Beck book. I do find that this book reinforces many of the weight watcher strategies but there are a few points where they don't agree. I can't give Beck all the credit but her book has help to reinforce strategies and really helped me address my sabotaging thoughts.
I do believe I can lose weight and get to my goal. I've believed it all along but had some doubts when I had a plateau of over a year. (I was not focused on weight loss during most of that time.) Although I have been over weight for at least 20 year, I was thin, maybe even too thin, as a child and young adult. I had a hard time accepting that I was really as big as I was. Being thin seems like "'the real me", which got lost inside this overweight body. slowly the real me is emerging. Beck has also helped me to rediscover "how to think like a thin person." I've said to myself more than once while reading the book, I remember I used to think like that. I can think like that again.
I compared myself for before and now:
ē how often do you eat standing up?
Used to do it occasionally, now never.
ē how often did you eat mindlessly?
Used to do it all the time, now I do it less.
ē how often did you eat too quickly?
I used to do it all the time, now itís like I canít do it. I start choking on my food. But I did intentionally slow it down.
ē How often did you plan ahead of time what you were going to eat?
Used to do it occasionally. Now nearly every day.
ē how often did you overeat or eat for emotional reasons?
I used to overeat regularly, now rarely. I am not an emotional eater.
ē how often did you criticize yourself ( and become demoralized) for what you ate?
I used to feel guilty sometimes but now I track it and move on. There is not very often that I have anything to be concerned about.

ē how often did you fool yourself? (i've strayed, so I may as well blow it for the day.)
I used to let a slip up derail me for days or weeks. But now I pre-track and that helps me get right back on track.
ē how often did you dwell on injustice?
I never thought about dieting as an injustice. Instead, itís a choice I made because I want to achieve my goal of losing weight.
ē how often did you let your concerns about other people stand in the way of doing what you needed to do for yourself? ( I can't inconvenience others. I can't turn down food they offer me.)
If I am eating a meal someone else prepared, Iíll do the best I can. Iíll eat more vegetables and less of the high fat and high carb dishes. I used to not think about it and eat whatever. If Iím going to a restaurant with other people, I can always find something to eat. Worst case scenario, Iíll eat more calories than planned for. It wouldnít be the first time, nor the last. Iíll deal with it. I used to not be concerned if I was eating a lot of extra calories.
If someone is pushing food, I donít give in unless I really want to. If it seems important to the person that I try some, I will eat a little. But whatever happens, itís within my control and I make the decision. I don't think this has changed much.




Giving up is not an option.


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Day 37 - - September 20, 2013
Reduce Stress
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A link to all of the worksheets from the book.

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9/19/13 11:21 P

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Colleen Ė I havenít really gotten into the self soothing book yet. Iíve got it within reach as I type this but I havenít picked it up. Not sure why.

Paula Ė In general I dislike magical kind of thinking. I like evidence and facts and rational arguments. But I have spent a great deal of time searching for the key, that special elusive something that would make losing weight magically easier. I reasoned that the people who had lost weight must have some information I donít have so if I acquired that knowledge I would be successful. But now that things are going well for me I honestly couldnít tell you why. Why can I do it now when I struggled for the prior two years putting on more than 100 lbs? Nothing else in my life has changed. I didnít acquire some new knowledge. My health problems, while debilitating, have not changed much in the past few years. Why am I able to do it now? I wish I knew then I wouldnít worry that itís going to disappear.


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9/19/13 10:45 P

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just chiming in here to say that I've been following this thread and benefiting from it, although not speaking up and contributing much at all.

I can so relate to the posts today. It had happened with me so many times in my younger years (teens through my 40's) where I was struggling for so long, and then all of a sudden I was losing -- and it was so "easy peasy" at the time that after several rounds of this losing and then gaining it back again, I realized I was riding an unpredictable "high" of weight loss success in the losing stretches. Will power was up, weight was falling off with no effort.

....then when it ended, there was always the thought..."I'll just go back to what I was doing"...but...easier said than done. seemed almost impossible to go right back to just that perfect regimen that I had been doing before so effortlessly.

Then it was trying to hop back on the wagon... hoping for the next losing streak, aware that the losing streak, if even accessed again, would not go on forever. For me, there was an almost magical quality to it. I had to be in the right place at the right time for it to take hold.

I do agree with Coleen, Letha, that you have really thought out what you are doing and what you will need to do for continued success. I think you are definitely on the right track and that your diligence and vigilance will be the key.

Edited by: PAULALALALA at: 9/19/2013 (22:49)
Paula -- Waco, TX area



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9/19/13 9:44 P

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That's some pretty heavy stuff, Letha. I really like that you know your own mind. That may actually be the key to your success because most people aren't sure why they do what they do. They just have a knee jerk reaction to an addictive substance. You however, know what many of your triggers are and can feel the inflections in your behavior. Keep up the good work. You analyze very well. I used to see a psychologist and she always commented on my analysis of situations. I finally invented a new word for it: "anal-yzing". How is the Soothing book coming? I checked out another of Dr. Albers entitled "Eat, Drink and Be Mindful". Loving it so far. Every little bit helps or at least reinforces.

Colleen-Oklahoma
Change your thoughts; change your life.


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9/19/13 9:54 A

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Colleen Ė I also like to view the scale as a feedback tool. A measurement taken as part of my ongoing experiment to alter my behavior and improve my results.
----------------
So this section speaks to me. Hereís a brief excerpt.

ďNow five weeks into the program, you might be at the point most dieters eventually reach Ė the point where you question whether or not you can keep losing weight. At some point, you might say to yourself, ĎThis is just a flukeÖ Iím no different from how I was the last time I tried to dietí. Ē

Iím getting lots of positive feedback from people about how well I am doing and I agree that I am.

At the moment.

Every time someone tells me Iím doing good my mind jumps to that spot Ė ďYea, Iím doing well right nowĒ.

My confidence in my ability to keep on this course is not firm. Iíve lost a great deal of weight before. Was absolutely sure I would never again lose control and gain it back. Then I gained it back. I would say Iím very hopeful but not very confident.

To counter this lack of confidence Dr. Beck advises that you make an advantage response card that lists the behavioral changes youíve made. In her example, the list includes behaviors sheís suggested in previous sections of the book.

Honestly, I had already consistently followed my food plan and lost weight for a couple of months before I picked up her book so it doesnít seem genuine to credit her or the book with my success. If I were to try and talk myself into believing it will be different this time, the one thing I might point to is Sparkpeople. The tracking tools and the support on SP have both been very helpful.

Is it really necessary that I stop doubting myself in order to succeed? I quit smoking about 11 years ago. It took many unsuccessful attempts before I was successful. But even now, I think I could pick it back up. When I smell cigarette smoke it doesnít irritate me. It makes me want one. Iíve often said that if Iím diagnosed with a terminal illness the first thing Iím going to do is buy a carton of cigarettes because I loved to smoke. I think food is going to be the same way for me and thatís OK. I will always know Iím a food addict and that I can easily slip into dysfunctional thinking and behavior that could literally kill me if Iím not vigilant. Iím OK with the fact that I will never feel confident in my ability to maintain healthy eating behavior.
Iíd rather be over-cautious then over-confident.



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9/19/13 9:22 A

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Day 36 - - September 19, 2013
Believe It
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A link to all of the worksheets from the book.

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9/18/13 3:32 P

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Weigh ins don't really bother me because they are just indicators of what I still have left to do. If the weight is up I can reflect about my choices for the previous week and decide if they need to be tweeked. Or, if I have lost weight I pat myself on the back, make a note of successful strategies and lessons learned. Either way, it is going to be what it's going to be based on my behaviors and some quirky cosmic weigh in dust! As long as my behaviors continue and I make valid choices about food, water and exercise the weight will evaporate one pound at a time (or so).


Colleen-Oklahoma
Change your thoughts; change your life.


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9/18/13 9:33 A

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Linda - You have a very sensible attitude about facing the scale. I'm sure it will serve you well on your journey.
--------

One of the things that stood out for me from today's reading was the suggestions that we carry a copy of our weight loss chart with us so we can look at it to keep ourselves motivated. I'm home most of the time and we do have a weight loss graph on SparkPeople but I also keep my weight stats on a Google doc so I thought I'd also do a weight loss chart using those stats, especially since today is my weigh in day. Here's a link with a photo of the chart I made this morning.

s22.postimg.org/pbiwnwbip/weight_los
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chart.jpg



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9/17/13 11:54 P

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I decided a long time ago Iím going to face whatever the number on the scale is at my official weekly weigh in at weight watcher's. If I donít like the number, itís a reality check and a motivator to re-evaluate what Iím doing and to do better. If I feel reluctant about weighing in, I tell myself I need the feedback to know what I need to do in the week ahead.
Sometimes it's discouraging when I don't see the results I'd like to see. But I think about my week and what might have caused the number on the scale not to be what I wanted it to be and what I can do to get it there. To be honest, 90% of the time when I've had a gain or "stay the same", it's water weight. Well, now that's the case. In the past, i did get off track and have gains.

Giving up is not an option.


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Day 35 - - September 18, 2013
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9/17/13 3:35 P

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I'm not one to avoid problems. I usually research for facts when appropriate or confront a person if necessary. I never thought about using the 7 question technique to solve problems till i read this chapter.
I am dealing with an ongoing situation that is causing me stress and I did go through the process. One obstacle I ran into was there is a lot of "unanswered" questions about the situation, and I had to answer based on my own speculation. I did come to a conclusion but because of missing facts, i'm not 100% committed to the solution but probably about 75% committed to it. So I would say the technique does help to sort things out.

Giving up is not an option.


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This is an interesting section. I think I already do something similar to this in my private journal when Iím upset, worried, or otherwise struggling with an issue. It looks like this.

1. Irrational venting with lots of profanity. (My spoiled brat self)
2. Analysis Ė What are the facts. (My adult self)
3. What are the alternatives for dealing with the situation. (My adult self)
4. Whatís the best way to think about the situation. (My best friend self)

So, I was comparing what I do with the advice Dr. Beck gives in the chapter to see if there was something I could add to what Iím already doing. I think what I could add would be to identify the thoughts that led to my originally getting worried or upset. Perhaps #2 should be, ďwhat type of irrational thoughts are causing your distressĒ?

Iíll give that a try and see if it makes a difference. The overall objective would be to reduce emotional suffering caused by irrational thinking which then leads to self soothing with food.

How good am I at actual problem solving? I do sometimes avoid dealing with stuff like household repairs until I canít put it off any more. Iíll give that some thought too.


Edited by: LETHA_ at: 9/17/2013 (11:49)
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solving problems...

I am much better at solving problems than I was in the past. Before I would put my head in the sand and wait until the coast was clear and then act like nothing happened, hoping things would return to normal. Now, I try to speak up when it involves someone else or I pause and try to figure out what is happening. It took a long time to just recognize that something was wrong and then much longer to figure out what that something was.

So, I plan to make my own list of questions (similiar to Dr Beck's) that personally address my mindset. I will use the card of questions when I feel the need to resolve an issue. I wasn't really a consistent evasive problem dodger nor a problem avoidance eater, but it has happened and I wish to eliminate another food mood. I will sit down outside of the kitchen, read my card (questions) and fill in the blanks. In fact, I think I will make several (10 or more) so that I can fill in the blanks. Once I resolve the problem I can read and re-read the card and then throw it away, literally and symbolically.

I think after doing this several times, I will be able to do it in my head, instead of on paper. Tally ho!

Colleen-Oklahoma
Change your thoughts; change your life.


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Day 34 - - September 16, 2013
Solve Problems
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9/17/13 1:25 A

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Lee Ė Welcome back. Sounds like you have a plan for moving forward.

Linda Ė Congratulations making good food choices this weekend.


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9/17/13 12:38 A

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I am not an emotional eater. If I'm really upset about something, I can't eat. the closest thing I have to emotional eating is eating when I'm tired. I always think eating will make me feel more energized but it only works while I'm eating, then I feel tired again. I think when I started working at night, which is so different from my natural "morning person" schedule, that is what put on the last 30 or so lbs before I started losing weight. So I struggle with eating because I'm tired. I'm doing better because I plan a health "lunch" after I finish work but it's still the time I'm most vulnerable to making bad food choices choices.
I have to say, I had a really good weekend eating-wise. Usually I tend to eat "extra" on my long saturdays but the high calorie days span from Fri. through Sun. I'm very happy about the more reasonable calorie count for all 3 days.

Giving up is not an option.


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Well, I am back from vacation and I doubt I will catch up with this group. We are leaving again in less than 2 weeks! I did gain 3# in spite of my best efforts and lots of walking. The good news is that I have lost 2 of the darn things in the past 3 days - so obvously it is fluid. I don't do well with a change in routine. I did start water aerobics this AM and that should help. Re the discussion about BMR and calorie range - I could not lose with the "range" of 1250 - 1550 from SP since I gave my self permission to eat at the top end and still be on track. I found I can only lose at about 1200 calories. I use my Firbit for fitness and MFP for tracking food and that seems to work best for me. MFP gives me an estimate at the end of each day's tracking..."If you continue to eat this way every day you will weigh XX in five weeks." Now that's motivating to me, especially those days when I ate 1500-1700 calories - it became obvious why I could not lose at that level!! emoticon

SharonLee - Michigan

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NO EXCUSES!

DO IT ONE MORE DAY!

ARE YOU INTERESTED OR ARE YOU COMMITTED?


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I have mixed feelings about the topic of emotional eating because I think my basic problem is food addiction. When I was a heavy smoker, people didnít tell me I should stop emotional smoking even though I smoked when I was upset. We donít tell alcoholics to avoid emotional drinking even though they often drink when they are stressed out. We understand that these are chemical dependencies.

You might argue that the difference between food and cigarettes is that we need food to live and we donít need cigarettes/alcohol/cocaine/methamphetamine
s to live. Iíll grant you that, but I still think that constant references to ďemotional eatingĒ makes it sound like overeating is a charter flaw or weakness. I think if men were more effected by the problem of obesity then women it would not have become so common to consider it an emotional issue.

Having said all that, if we can learn to sit with our emotions and not try to escape them with food, cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, shopping, or some other self destructive behavior we will be better off. I think when I get done with reading the Beck book Iím going to listen again to Pema Chodronís audio books on the topic of Shenpa. Here is her explanation of the term.

ďThe Tibetan word for this is shenpa. It is usually translated "attachment," but a more descriptive translation might be "hooked." When shenpa hooks us, we're likely to get stuck. We could call shenpa "that sticky feeling." It's an everyday experience. Even a spot on your new sweater can take you there. At the subtlest level, we feel a tightening, a tensing, a sense of closing down. Then we feel a sense of withdrawing, not wanting to be where we are. That's the hooked quality. That tight feeling has the power to hook us into self-denigration, blame, anger, jealousy and other emotions which lead to words and actions that end up poisoning us.

Remember the fairy tale in which toads hop out of the princess's mouth whenever she starts to say mean words? That's how being hooked can feel. Yet we don't stopówe can't stopóbecause we're in the habit of associating whatever we're doing with relief from our own discomfort. This is the shenpa syndrome. The word "attachment" doesn't quite translate what's happening. It's a quality of experience that's not easy to describe but which everyone knows well. Shenpa is usually involuntary and it gets right to the root of why we suffer.

Someone looks at us in a certain way, or we hear a certain song, we smell a certain smell, we walk into a certain room and boom. The feeling has nothing to do with the present, and nevertheless, there it is. When we were practicing recognizing shenpa at Gampo Abbey, we discovered that some of us could feel it even when a particular person simply sat down next to us at the dining table.

Shenpa thrives on the underlying insecurity of living in a world that is always changing. We experience this insecurity as a background of slight unease or restlessness. We all want some kind of relief from that unease, so we turn to what we enjoyófood, alcohol, drugs, sex, work or shopping. In moderation what we enjoy might be very delightful. We can appreciate its taste and its presence in our life. But when we empower it with the idea that it will bring us comfort, that it will remove our unease, we get hooked.

So we could also call shenpa "the urge"óthe urge to smoke that cigarette, to overeat, to have another drink, to indulge our addiction whatever it is. Sometimes shenpa is so strong that we're willing to die getting this short-term symptomatic relief. The momentum behind the urge is so strong that we never pull out of the habitual pattern of turning to poison for comfort. It doesn't necessarily have to involve a substance; it can be saying mean things, or approaching everything with a critical mind. That's a major hook. Something triggers an old pattern we'd rather not feel, and we tighten up and hook into criticizing or complaining. It gives us a puffed-up satisfaction and a feeling of control that provides short-term relief from uneasiness.

Those of us with strong addictions know that working with habitual patterns begins with the willingness to fully acknowledge our urge, and then the willingness not to act on it. This business of not acting out is called refraining. Traditionally it's called renunciation. What we renounce or refrain from isn't food, sex, work or relationships per se. We renounce and refrain from the shenpa. When we talk about refraining from the shenpa, we're not talking about trying to cast it out; we're talking about trying to see the shenpa clearly and experiencing it. If we can see shenpa just as we're starting to close down, when we feel the tightening, there's the possibility of catching the urge to do the habitual thing, and not doing it. ď

Source: www.shambhalasun.com/index.ph
p?option=
content&task=view&id=1610



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Day 33 - - September 16, 2013
Eliminate Emotional Eating
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Paula Ė Thanks for getting our emotional eating conversation started this morning. I love how you wrote about loving the little girl inside. You have some very strong self awareness skills. I appreciate you sharing your insights here.


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Day 33: Emotional Eating.

Learning, learning, learning...I stuffed my emotions for so long that it was many years before I even recognized when I was upset. Now, I get an unsettled feeling and have to stop and ask myself "why"? Usually, it takes a little bit before I can discover my distress, but it almost always reveals itself if I just wait and am patient. Most times I am a little worried about something such as a doctor visit or finances, etc...Given enough time I am able to find the culprit and then start addressing the problem. In the meantime...I will...

...meditate when I feel something amiss. Deep breathing and focused mindfulness helps me release the answer to the problem. When I become calm, worry disappears. When I become calm, anger flies away, when I become calm, hurt feelings turn into understanding, when I become calm, I learn and then love, especially my little girl inside. emoticon

Colleen-Oklahoma
Change your thoughts; change your life.


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Colleen, I love you list idea!
Letha, I agree about gaining during travel. The one vacation I took after starting to lose weight, a couple of years ago, I actually lost a lb. that week. There was a lot of walking involved so that helped to offset eating out 3 meals a day. I'm very sensitive to sodium so any time I eat out I face the side effect of water weight but I do drink enough water to keep those gains usually at no more than 1 lb the day after and it's usually gone the following day. A gain can be so discouraging, even though it is quite normal to have gains along the way. But many people have quit because of gains. I sometimes allow myself to "stay the same" if I'm indulging, but when I have a gain, it's not because I planned to gain. It's usually water weight and if it's a true gain, it means I haven't been on program with my eating probably for multiple days.

Giving up is not an option.


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Karen Ė Another teetotaler. Welcome to the club.

Linda Ė we have one of those collapsible beverage coolers you keep in the freezer and they are amazing. They will keep water bottles very cold for an entire day of driving. Weíve actually got two of them.

Colleen Ė I love the idea of keeping a list of things to pack in your suitcase. I hate it when I forget something and I hate sitting around worrying that I might have forgotten something.
-----------------

We got a catalog in the mail this week for Rockjumper Worldwide Birding Tours and I was just drooling over it. So many wonderful places to go see.

www.rockjumperbirding.com/

We may not have the funds to travel around the world but we can do some serious traveling in North America as soon as I regain some of my mobility.

But I want to be able to travel and stay healthy so this chapter is very interesting to me.

First off I plan to focus on bird and wildlife watching, public gardens, art, and historic places. So, most of the time I can employee the food strategies I outlined the day before yesterday when I wrote about eating away from home.

However, I hope to meet interesting people along the way and people often want to continue a conversation over food and drinks, not to mention that my partner has friends in nearly every state and will likely want to meet up with folks in route which entails more group eating adventures.

So if I get asked to lunch/brunch/dinner at someoneís house Iíll just respond by saying Iíd love to but Iím on a strict diet for health reasons and negotiate the menu options. Iíll ask if I can pick up a fruit and veggie tray to bring, offer to help with the cooking so I can perhaps portion off some rice or potatoes before they get slathered in butter or cheese. I can also eat before a gathering and/or I can simply say no thank you to the food offered, enjoy the company, and eat at a later time.

For meeting in bars Ė a zero calorie club soda should see me through.

For meeting in coffee houses Ė some unsweetened herb tea.

For meetings in restaurants Ė if nothing else looks doable I can ask for a salad with dressing on the side so I have something to pick at while everyone else is eating. Again, I would try to eat something healthy before going to the restaurant and would likely eat something healthy later in the day.

Relaxing my eating standards and saying it's OK to put on a few pounds while traveling is not a strategy that would work for me.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Edited by: LETHA_ at: 9/15/2013 (11:38)
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Day 31 - Decide about drinking

I don't drink. Like a number of you have said - too many calories wasted that I can use for food. I do have a glass of champagne on New Year's Eve but never finish it. Maybe a sip of wine on a holiday. I don't like the way I feel when I drink so it is never a problem to say No Thank You.

Day 32 - Prepare to travel

We don't do much traveling lately. Maybe a day trip here and there. I will definitely be more mindful and pack healthy snacks instead of looking for a fast food place to stop for something unhealthy.




My name is Kathy but call me Kat

The spirit in me honors the spirit in you.
Namaste


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I haven't done much traveling in the last few years except for day trips. When I do travel and eat out a lot, I take food with me and try to make good choices. While traveling, I don't usually track the food but do give thought to what I'm eating and try to make good choices. It's often hard to track when you eat out a lot. But I don't use that as an excuse to go crazy eating things I normally don't eat, except maybe a bite or two, just to try something. A couple of years ago when DH and I took a trip with my daughter's family, everyone was enjoying an ice cream treat and I choose frozen yogurt. Not super low calories, but better than regular ice cream.
This morning on another forum (weightwatcher's), someone posted her tips for traveling today. I thought they were excellent so I'll share them. (she was going on a car trip all day today.)
She was taking: a little cooler with bottled water, string cheese, fruit, and baby carrots, seedless black grapes.
Her fast food suggestions was: McDonald's salad with grilled chicken added and the Low-Fat Balsamic Vinaigrette.
The surprise to me was: Some Mc Donalds have a "kiddie" size cone (45 calories according to Mc Donald's NI).

Giving up is not an option.


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I loved this page because I feel confident about it. When we traveled from Oklahoma to Oregon to move my daughter for grad school, I took all healthy snacks and ate well at the restaurants. My companions, however, ate any and everything and not only gained weight, but were miserable in the car (bloated) and spent a lot of time in the bathroom (constipated). I knew I did not want to feel that way. I think everything boils down to planning and being prepared. I keep a list of things I might need to pack in my suitcase so that I don't forget anything when I go. Some trips will require more things not listed and some I can skip like coats in the summer. Now, I believe I will make a list of snack items and things that can be eaten on the road, plus a few suggestions for restaurants. That should help me choose better food at the outset and also, if I share or run out, I will have a short grocery list of possibilities so I don't just "grab" things off of the shelf.

I see all of this prep work as challenges for down the road. Not literally, but in the future. Preparing now will give us the groundwork for the times when something unplanned happens, as it always will. We can just go back to our responses and ideas without sabotaging our hard work. By George, I think we can do this! emoticon

Colleen-Oklahoma
Change your thoughts; change your life.


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Day 32 - - September 15, 2013
Prepare To Travel
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A link to all of the worksheets from the book.

www.beckdietsolution.com/cbt-workshe
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s/


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How funny. We're a bunch of teetotallers. Who would of thunk it?
emoticon

Linda - I'm with you. I don't want to waste precious calories on any kind of beverage. I like to spend my calories on food.


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I also do not drink alcohol so I decided to apply these ideas to other beverages like regular soda, which I do like. I get the 7.5 oz cans of ginger ale and have about one a week as a treat. When I'm at a restaurant, I usually order either a sprite or lemonade. Both have calories so I only drink one and if I do order a second one, I usually drink only a little of it. Of course, I track it, too. I don't like to waste a lot of calories on "junk" like this though, so it's only an occasional treat.

Giving up is not an option.


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I don't drink either. Just skipped that chapter's work.

Colleen-Oklahoma
Change your thoughts; change your life.


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Paula Ė I like how you wrote about how the repeated offering of food ďcan serve to make me feel I am being difficult by not eating the food offered.Ē Iíve had that experience in other areas where Iíve tried do what I felt was best for myself or others. I think giving your son a 9Ē plate is a wonderful example of looking out for yourself. Thanks for sharing that with us.
---------------

Decide About Drink
I also donít drink. In the past 30 years Iíve had a sip of beer, wine, or Champagne maybe 4 or 5 times. When I was a kid I partied pretty hard for several years and then I started getting paranoid and having panic attacks when I was wasted. I decided to cut back on the partying and soon gave up all recreational drugs and alcohol. I have zero interest in drinking alcohol.


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9/14/13 4:48 A

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Ok I have slipped behind a bit.

Food Pushers

People don't think sometimes when offering you that oh so tempting food item that you are eating now. They se the old you changing and cannot understand what you are doing and may be afraid that you are becoming a bit obsessive about what you eat.
The Old Me would happily tuck into foods that I no longer eat and sometimes people offer me the foods I used to eat and cannot understand why I won't eat it.
The phrase 'Oh go on just one piece won't hurt' or ' This tastes so good you should try it' , ' 'Don't deprive yourself it's your Birthday after all'
All these little phrases serve to make me feel I am being difficult by not eating the food offered.
Well I used to give in but no longer now I explain why I am not eating the foods offered and that I am sticking to my plan for my health.
Does that mean I am perfect and never have that slice of cake? of course not I am human but now I am in control and don't allow others to persuade me to eat more.

Eating Out

We don't this much as it is so expensive but when we do I look up the menu of the restaurant online and decide what I will have before I get there.

Days out
THis is easier as I can take it with me or if we are going to eat out that day I go for a place that has salads,soups or baked potatoes on the menu that way I can chose a healthy option whilst out.

Family Gatherings
This often means meals cooked by someone else and that means I have no control of what they cook. I can however choose not to have such a large portion that way I can eat what I want. I have now bought a 9 inch plate that I gave to my Son so that when I have meal there I have a smaller plate so I don't have a large plate to fill up. They thought it weird but when I explained why they saw the sense of it.
BBQ's are easier as I can control what I eat and take along a salad to share.
Buffets are easy as well as again I can pick and chose what I eat and the quantity.

Decide about Drinking

This chapter is one I don't have to worry about I don't drink I don't like the taste of alcohol. After seeing the effects on my Mother who was an alcoholic and how it has effected my Brother who is a recovering alcoholic then drink holds no temptation for me what so ever.

I may have a glass of wine at Christmas with our dinner but seldom finish it. I have never been attracted to alcohol and when I did try it when I was of age to do so which is 18 here in England I decided it was not worth bothering with, all it did was leave a nasty taste in my mouth and made me feel thirsty.
When out for meal I will have one glass of J20 and then move onto sparkling water with lemon or a soda water with ice and lemon. No one bothers about the fact I don't drink and no one pushes me to have a drink and I have never felt that I am not socialising because I don't drink and still have fun.



Please Call me: Paula

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Day 31 - - September 14, 2013
Decide About Drinking
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A link to all of the worksheets from the book.

www.beckdietsolution.com/cbt-workshe
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Pam, The good thing about Dennyís is that their menu is online.

www.dennys.com/files/nutritio
n_facts.p
df


They have many light options. For example, you can get a veggie patty for 160 calories, mashed potatoes for 100 calories, side of broccoli for 25 calories, a side of steamed zucchini for 15 calories, & seasonal fruit for 70 calories.
-----------

Linda Ė it sounds like youíve put some sensible restrictions in place for yourself when eating in restaurants. Thatís the exact advice Dr. Beck is giving us. Well done.
--------------------

Kathy Ė Hopefully the thought Iíve invested now will serve me well in the future. We got a great catalog in the mail today with a list of birding adventures around the world. Itís giving me a traveling jones Ė something I want to do when I get a bit healthier, and I want to stay on plan while traveling.
-----------------

Colleen - Good job planning your restaurant eating. Perhaps hubby will follow your good example in the future. Thanks for the feedback on my plan. I will follow your advice and try out my eating plan with short trips before I take off across country or the world.
emoticon



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We haven't eaten out in quite awhile but when we did, I liked denny's because they have a breakfast that is seasoned potatoes, spinach, tomatoes, onions and I think broccoli. Haven't had it in a few months.


myname Pam,
Illinois
central standard time zone.

Namaste means the spirit in me honors the spirit in you.




lifestyle warriors..keeping it real

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9/13/13 10:46 P

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Letha, what a great and thorough plan for eating out! I relate to being gone from home because of illness of a family member. That happened to me when my brother got seriously sick 2 years ago and was in the hosp. for 2 months. Even after he was home, I was still going to his house daily to help him. I didn't have time to track my food, although I did pack food to go with me (mainly because what he eats I knew was not what I needed to eat.) But not tracking only worked for a while then I gained back 15 of the 30 lbs I'd lost.
My plan is to track everything whether home or eating out. If I can't get the exact nutrition information, I track something "close". (there are a few restaurants that do not have the NI listed online, but in that case, I take the NI from a similar restaurant.) I eat out but not a lot. Much less than before trying to lose weight. it frustrates me to make a healthy choice at a restaurant that has so many more calories than a similar meal I can make at home. My restaurant strategies are: I only eat the bread if it's warm and then I have either 1 piece or 1/2 a piece, depending on the size. I start my meal with a salad, ordering the dressing on the side and opting for a low fat dressing. I plan to take half or more of the entree home. If I decide to have dessert, I share it with DH or take half of it home. If possible, I try t order something healthy that I don't have often, like some kind of seafood.
Colleen, I often choose my meal by looking at an online menu/NI before going to the restaurant, as well. I find pre-planning and pre-tracking my food to be very helpful to stay within my calorie range.


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9/13/13 2:39 P

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What a fantastic plan for eating away from home, Letha. You really thought it through.

My name is Kathy but call me Kat

The spirit in me honors the spirit in you.
Namaste


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Letha,

That was a great post. You are really putting in some serious thought on this. To me, that's what it's all about--being prepared. We just ate a free lunch at HuHot and my husband laughed at me for looking at the nutrition before we went. I told him I needed to "mentally" make my decisions before I arrived. I actually jotted down the veggies and meat I wanted. When I was in line it was easy to just pick out those items. My DH on the other hand threw everything on his plate and then went back for seconds. He is now lying on the couch complaining that his stomach hurts. No doubt!

One thing I noticed the other day when I was traveling was to take enough but not too much. I used to drive that trip while listening to a book and snacking all the way. This time I put 10 almonds in a ziploc baggie, 20 carrots in another and so on. I also figured out how far and my timetable. That way I was able to plan when I would snack, such as "at the halfway turnpike toll gate" I will eat my banana and 10 almonds. I literally had all of this written down. Since I had planned exactly what I needed I felt safe and didn't want to stop at McDonalds on the turnpike. I figured if worse came to worse, I could go to a store and pick up more healthy stuff. However, since its was exactly what I would have eaten at home it was just easier, but if I had brought the whole can of almonds I probably would have mindlessly eaten at least half before I realized it.

I really believe that planning ahead and staying mindful is a perfect solution for you. I would take a couple of day trips and try out your strategies and practice before you try something longer. That way you can work out any problems you had and try again. Good luck. Really good plans, girl.

Colleen-Oklahoma
Change your thoughts; change your life.


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Good morning team. Several years ago I stayed on my food plan over a year, lost over 100lbs, and then fell off plan when I spent 3 months staying out of state with a relative who was ill. Even after I got home I couldnít turn things around for nearly two years and I regained all the weight I lost. I share this because this experience has caused me to be very concerned that I canít stay on plan when Iím away from home. So here is my plan which I am keeping a copy of in my handbag.
---------------------

Away From Home Food Plan Strategy

Day Trips
1. When possible, plan errands and short trips so they fall between meals.
2. Pack a lunch. Thermos full of homemade soup, or green smoothie in the small ice chest.
3. If you are unexpectedly delayed, practice hunger tolerance, buy/drink water.

2-3 day trips.
1. Stay in hotel with a fridge and a microwave
2. Bring homemade soup and smoothies in a cooler.
3. Bring instant oatmeal or healthy instant rice pilaf cups.

3-30 day trips.
1. If staying with friends or relatives, talk to the homeowner and make arrangements to cook/prepare your usual foods for yourself or to share.
2. If staying in a cabin, condo, or hotel unit with cooking facilities, purchase and cook what you normally would eat at home.
3. If you are staying somewhere without cooking facilities, the following options would meet the guidelines of the McDougall food plan you are following.

a. From the grocery store
i. Prepared salads
ii. Bananas and other fresh fruit
iii. Fresh Vegetable Trays
iv. Wasa crackers
v. Fat Free Granola
vi. Whole Grain Bread
vii. Vegetarian Baked beans for bean sandwiches
viii. Avocado and tomato for sandwiches
ix. Almond butter & fruit preserves for sandwiches

b. If you have no other option but to eat in a restaurant, consider the following.
i.Steak houses: get a plain baked potato & a trip through the salad bar.
ii. Order plain oatmeal or dry toast and fruit for breakfast.
iii. Request plain steamed vegetables/rice/plain baked potato
iv. Ask for a fruit plate.
------------------

So that's my strategy. I've eaten in enough restaurants, sampled enough food, had enough treats for one lifetime. My maternal grandmother who lived in rural North Dakota could probably count the number of restaurant meals she had ever had on one hand. I've eaten in restaurants from Skagway, Alaska to Memphis Tennessee. There is so much more to life then food and I'm going to focus on the non-food fun stuff.

Edited by: LETHA_ at: 9/13/2013 (12:30)
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9/13/13 10:20 A

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Colleen - The fitness tracker - of course, I"d forgotten about that - your calorie range may also reset if you log a new weight. I manually bump it back. With the FitBit *everything* is logged as activity when it really isn't so it happens a lot.


Eastern time zone (EDT)
Call me Lynn (it's a nickname)
near Owen Sound, Ontario


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+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Day 30 - - September 13, 2013
Stay In Control When Eating Out
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A link to all of the worksheets from the book.

www.beckdietsolution.com/cbt-workshe
et
s/



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Linda Ė It sounds like you had a stressful and tiring week. I like how you wrote that when you start the day by pre-tracking your food it gets you right back on track. You have some great techniques for refusing food and itís wonderful that youíve practiced the techniques and have confidence they will work for you. That is a great tool to have in your weight-loss tool box.

Colleen Ė You have me thinking about how my own views about my weight were formed and how they changed. In addition to cognitive therapy techniques, my thinking has also been influence by conflict resolution training, by the size acceptance movement, by my participating in ďA complaint free worldĒ movement, by my reading about the addictive nature of food in books like ĎThe Pleasure Trapí, and by the writing of a Buddhist nun named Pema Chodron. It makes me wonder how the experiences we are having right now, on the SparkPeople website, will influence us in the years to come.


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Wow! I missed a lot today! It's middle of the night an I'm just catching up on the thread after work. My day started with a friend stopping by before my (late morning) breakfast and stayed until 2:20. I quickly took the dog for a walk and walked more myself, then it was time for me to go to my weightwatcher's meeting for weigh in. I came home, ate dinner, rested a bit and then started work. I had a lot of catching up to do!
About food pushers . . .I'm lucky the people I spend the most time with are not food pushers. Everyone knows I've been following WeightWatchers for years and they see the results. I can refuse food and not get too much resistance. Really, even before I gained weight and I was thin, I often could not eat what everyone else was eating. My appetite wasn't that big. I refused food then with words like, "I'm not really hungry now, maybe later." These words will work now, too. If someone is really persistent I might say, "I'm too full to eat this now. How about I take a little home to eat later." Then I could eat it or throw it out.
if the food is high in calories, but I want to taste it, i could have one or two bites. Usually I'm okay with that.

Checkin:
If your weight changed during the week.
Today was my official weigh in with WW. I "stayed the same". I'm surprised I wasn't up because I ate some salty tortilla chips last night. So maybe next week I'll show a nice loss because I'm thinking I probably had a bit of water weight today.

The successes you had during the past week.
This was a tough week for me because of my brother being in the hosp. several days and me not being home for meals. My successes are I packed up healthy food and took it with me. I "did the best I could" with exercise so instead of doing none, i did a little. When my brother was in the hospital for almost 2 months 2 years ago, that's when I started regaining the weight I'd lost. Staying the same is a success in that perspective.

The struggles you had in the past week.
I had some really long days. Long days lead to my biggest challenge: eating because of being tired. I fell into that several times this week.

If you're going into high-risk situations.
My high risk situation is usually eating when I'm tired. I've been there almost everyday this week.

If you've strayed from your plan.
I did when I was eating because of being tired. The good news is, that happens late at night and everyday, I start my day by pre-tracking my food and I'm right back on plan.

Giving up is not an option.


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PERUSER918's Photo PERUSER918 SparkPoints: (37,048)
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9/12/13 9:41 P

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Letha,
You are hitting that nail on the head again. I have been a people pleaser all of my life because I was the youngest and very observant. I watched what mistakes my older siblings made and just made sure I avoided those and did what was wanted. I am really learning the value of pleasing myself. Before I began to try to lose weight, I had spent a lot of time working on the cognitive aspects of my life. I have addressed a lot of these issues and am amazed to learn that that work formed the foundation for how I view my health issues also. It truly has been a little easier having done the groundwork previously.

Pam,
Hang in there. You have got to be one of the most caring and generous people I have never met. I really would love spending time with some of you ladies. This common thread of health and weight is very powerful. Thank you for sharing your insights. I see myself in some of them and that makes it easier to identify when I work on my own.

Lynn,
I don't know why, but maybe once a week my Spark Tracker resets my calorie range. I have moved it back down to 1300-1550 and the confounded thing resets itself. I thought maybe it was the deficit in exercise minutes or something, but if that were so some of these ladies that exercise 2-3 hrs would need 4500 calories! I'll watch again this week.

Edited by: PERUSER918 at: 9/12/2013 (21:48)
Colleen-Oklahoma
Change your thoughts; change your life.


 current weight: 215.0 
 
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LETHA_'s Photo LETHA_ Posts: 3,984
9/12/13 6:11 P

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That's a pretty extensive list Pam. The cost to you is high. The risk to you is high.

Considering how little it will cost the food pusher if you say no, perhaps you should set your sights on changing the relationship dynamic so that you are making yourself and your needs more of a priority. You deserve to be happy and healthy.

HAWTGRANNY2014's Photo HAWTGRANNY2014 SparkPoints: (23,276)
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9/12/13 5:48 P

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I read it this morning but for some reason when you asked me that, it did not click the right way.

If I give it more thought.

I would be another pushover like I always used to be and sometimes still am.
I would feel as if I was giving in, not for myself but for someone else.
I will feel defeated in that I was doing it again.
I would go home and feel like I failed.
Who knows how far that slip would lead me.
I would not feel as if I controlled myself but was a puppet.
I would feel like I was not a good role model.


myname Pam,
Illinois
central standard time zone.

Namaste means the spirit in me honors the spirit in you.




lifestyle warriors..keeping it real

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9/12/13 5:29 P

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The exercise for this section is to figure out the cost to you personally rather then the financial cost. Dr. Beck gave examples of how it might cost you. It could make you:

Go off your scheduled meal plan.
Eat more then you really want.
Feel subservient to others.
Feel out of control.
Stop losing or even gain weight.
Overeat or even develop a craving.
Feel bad about yourself.

She doesn't give the same type of examples regarding what it might cost the food pusher but she does relay a good story about how she politely, but repeatedly refused food at a function and then later asked the hostess if that had been a problem. She concluded from this experience that we often overestimate the impact of refusing to accept the food that is offered to us.

I think that we as women, and mothers in particular, are accustomed to putting the needs of others ahead of ourselves. I think an objective evaluation of what that costs us when it comes to food and nutrition is a good idea. I think Dr. Beck could even take it step further and ask us what it costs the other person if we accept. Because if we fail to take care of ourselves we can become a burden on the very people pushing food on us, not to mention that we are setting a bad example for them to follow. Sometimes the kindest thing we can say to a loved one is no.


Edited by: LETHA_ at: 9/12/2013 (17:30)
HAWTGRANNY2014's Photo HAWTGRANNY2014 SparkPoints: (23,276)
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9/12/13 2:46 P

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The cost thing would be a little hard to do unless you know what they were serving.
Unless you mean cost of their time but they would have to make it anyway for other people.
So I can not really see any less than if I ate it. Unless I am not understanding this whole thing.

Colleen that is a really awesome job. I could not have done that yet. Not with all the food I know they have on those buffets. I have a long way to go.

Today though I had a bigger incentive. Hubby's tonail broke apart and he was dripping blood everywhere. His legs are humungous because they are holding water...even though he is taking 2 water pills a day. He eats too much salt. I looked at his legs and all the problems he is having and it reminded me of how I felt when I was 340 pounds and even after losing down to 306( and that took about 2 years) how I felt. how many health issued I had and how depressed I was. I don't want to go back to that.


myname Pam,
Illinois
central standard time zone.

Namaste means the spirit in me honors the spirit in you.




lifestyle warriors..keeping it real

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_mes
sageboard_thread.asp?board=27085x61293
x58680543





 current weight: 285.6 
 
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210.3
172.65
135
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