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ANNIE7205's Photo ANNIE7205 Posts: 610
11/7/11 2:47 P

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(crossing my fingers so as not to jinx anything....) Bio mom is actually being civil. Actually, more than that. She sent an email out of the blue last week to let FI know how much B (the oldest) liked the Halloween cookies we had sent back over with them (I had made some for little K's kindergarten class, there were leftovers that we didn't touch because of trick or treating and I figured rather than leaving them around the house where I would eat them, I'd send them over to her place with the kids since we were sending over half of the kids' trick or treating loot anyway.). Apparently B really, really liked them and she sent FI an email just to say how much B liked "Anne's Halloween cookies." There was actually even a funny reference to the restaurant scene from "When Harry Met Sally" - apparently B was making some pretty funny noises.

There were a couple of "status" emails over the weekend - it was her weekend with the kids. Weird, since she's been "whatever I do with the kids when they're with me is my business" up to this point. It may or may not be related to FI finally calling her out on her behavior. The only other thing we can figure is that she's seeing someone again because historically she's been civil and almost friendly when she's dating someone, but when the relationship ends she goes back to psycho B.

We'll see what happens. I don't want to get too comfortable, but for now things are okay...

On a somewhat related note, does anyone else get annoyed when emails/phone calls come on "non-kid weekends"? We've been having some issues lately and I kind of feel at times like our time is being "interrupted" by kid stuff. Not that he shouldn't read her emails, but once or twice a day is sufficient, I think. Not a constant stream of emails back and forth. And, shouldn't she actually be interacting with the kids instead of just emailing him about the kids? I don't know, maybe I'm being immature about this, but it just seems intrusive on "our time." Can't really say anything though, because we wanted her to communicate more. I guess you have to be careful what you wish for. Or I just need to grow up and get over it.

Anne

Lots of people talk to animals.... Not very many listen, though.... That's the problem.
- Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but, remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” Epicurus, philosopher

WICKEDQUEENTREE's Photo WICKEDQUEENTREE SparkPoints: (11,499)
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11/1/11 2:45 P

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So Annie, what's the progress?

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ANNIE7205's Photo ANNIE7205 Posts: 610
10/21/11 9:59 A

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Yeah, there's the part of me that thinks "okay, he's just doing his thing and not letting her craizness bother him" which is good, but when she pulls that crap in front of the kids, she's setting a horrible example and confusing them. That's why I pushed so hard for him to call her out on it. If it was all kept private, it would still bug me because I hate seeing him treated poorly when he really doesn't deserve it, but it wouldn't be as big of a deal. Seriously, when she pulls that crap the kids just look crushed.

Anne

Lots of people talk to animals.... Not very many listen, though.... That's the problem.
- Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but, remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” Epicurus, philosopher

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10/21/11 9:39 A

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Wow. That sounds like a fun time! I commend FI for taking a stand. The marriage between the two of them is over. So therefore if it isn't for the kids it doesn't need to be said. Sometimes I wish my DH would take more of a stand, but other times I'm glad he just lets things go. I hope everything works out for you. It's got to be frustrating.

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ANNIE7205's Photo ANNIE7205 Posts: 610
10/20/11 1:50 P

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... but I finally convinced FI to put his foot down with the boys' mother. She can go from perfectly civil to raging, irrational bitch fast enough to make your head spin (I know mine is spinning often after an "encounter" with her). The lastest (and last straw for me) was picking the boys up last Friday. FI went to the door, the little guy (5 yo) wanted to show him something so Jeff stepped in and their mother said, seemingly out of nowhere, and in front of the boys, "I don't want you in here, you can wait for them outside." The little one looked disappointed that he didn't get to show his dad whatever it was (we still don't know because he didn't want to tell us, I think he was too upset by what happened) and the older one (8 yo) asked us in the car later, "why did mom kick you out of her apartment?" FI just said, "I don't know, but it's her apartment and it's her right to ask someone to leave if she wants to. I will just have to wait for you guys outside from now on." The older one thought it was weird and said that it was rude of her. We still have no clue what got up her ass, or why she's been flipping back and forth between tolerable and super bitch.

His theory is that the whole divorce and "freedom" thing didn't go the way she had planned. She's still not working (but he pays her so much between maintenance and child support that she makes more than I do, don't think that doesn't aggravate the heck out of me), hasn't had any luck finding a job or another sucker to take care of her (I would assume that her bittnerness probably comes through loud and clear in an interview or date) and is probably pissed that the "asshole" who's to blame for all the problems in their marriage moved on so easily. Oh yeah, and I really think she doesn't like me, given the fact that she turned on me during an email exchange and said she doesn't want me emailing her anymore. And then proceeded to tell the 8 year old that she didn't want me emailing her.

Anyway, this morning I let FI have it because she sent another email of "demands". I told him enough was enough. If she couldn't treat him with respect, then he shouldn't go out of his way to do anymore than what's necessary for the boys. I finally got it through his head that she treats him like crap because he lets her. I'm not saying be mean, but stop jumping when she says to. He sent her an email basically saying, I don't care that you don't like me. But you need to stop acting like a bitch in front of the kids because they're picking up on it and it bothers them. He obviously worded it much more diplomatically than that, but that's the gist of it. We'll see if it makes any difference. I, for one, am not looking to parent teacher conferences on Monday. Yep, all three of us will be there with the boys. Lovely.

Anne

Lots of people talk to animals.... Not very many listen, though.... That's the problem.
- Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but, remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” Epicurus, philosopher

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