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WICKEDQUEENTREE's Photo WICKEDQUEENTREE SparkPoints: (11,499)
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11/1/11 2:46 P

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Have things gotten any better EMLUBRANO?

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TLRANEL's Photo TLRANEL Posts: 478
10/10/11 11:43 A

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I wonder if these outbursts are the only way he gets attention at mom's house. When a child isn't getting attention, it's not uncommon for them to act out, because even negative attention is attention. He doesn't have to do that at your house. Maybe you and his father could sit down and talk to him about these outbursts and share that you're concerned for him and want to know more about what is going on when the outbursts occur. Try to get at emotions instead of a play-by-play of situations. Ask him what he was feeling when such and such happened? And how did he feel when he had the explosion? And how did he feel when an adult reacted? How did he feel when there was a punishment? Hopefully you can help him find other ways to get his emotional needs met that won't have such negative consequences for him.

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EMLUBRANO's Photo EMLUBRANO Posts: 19
10/10/11 10:17 A

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We changed our custody agreement over the summer - we now have shared custody, every other week And it has been great. My stepson has really gotten more comfortable being with us, we are definitely more of a family unit than we used to be. But when he isn't with us, he's having some emotional outbursts. At his mother's house, he is the oldest of two siblings 3 and 7, and recently had two cousins move into the house 4 and 6 I think. He is 10, 11 next month (OMG!) I feel confident that his siblings have ADHD, and one of his cousins is autistic. So he has had a lot of changes during the summer and is having some difficultly dealing with it. He has never been really good with change, so this doesn't surprise me. But, at his Mom's house he has started having full blown temper tantrums. It is all instigated by his siblings, but he is really flying off the handle. She calls my husband every time this happens and this weekend he got his soccer game taken away from him. And then the S*#! hit the fan. He began screaming at his Mom and, well I guess everyone within earshot, "that he hates this (I think he meant being punished), and no one has his side" (b/c he found out she called his Dad) It got so bad that he had to go there.
He never acts this way with us. He'll get frustrated, and upset when we discipline him. But he never yells at us or exhibits any of that type of raging anger behavior. It really concerns me and I feel really bad for him. Because I'm sure that his Mom and stepdad are not stopping the other kids from antagonizing him. And at some point shouldn't they be held responsible too? Not sure what to do, if we should pass it off as sibling fighting, or if we should look more into it. I'm sure its just really hard for him to go from our house which is structured disciplined normal environment back to a chaotic, unstructured home.
Has anyone else had a similar experience?

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