In a large saucepan, combine rhubarb and 1/2 cup water. Cover and cook over medium heat for 8 to 10 minutes or until rhubarb becomes soft. Remove from heat. Stir in dry gelatin and frozen raspberries. Mix gently to combine until gelatin is dissolved and raspberries are thawed. Place pan on a wire rack and allow to cool for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, combine dry pudding mix, dry milk powder, and remaining 1-1/2 cups water. Mix well using a wire whisk. Blend in coconut extract, Cool Whip Free, and 2 tablespoons coconut. Evenly spoon pudding mixture into 4 dessert dishes and refrigerate while sauce continues to cool. Just before serving, spoon about 1/3 cup sauce and sprinkle 1/2 teaspoon coconut over top of each dish.
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