Author: Sorting Last Post on Top ↓ Message:
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
7/24/13 10:25 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A senior citizen decided to visit the social security office to sign up for his benefits. Upon his arrival the clerk asked for proof of his age. When he reached for his wallet the embarrassed man realized he had left it home. After explaining his problem to the clerk, she replied, "Don't worry, just open your shirt, and if your chest hair is gray you will qualify." The senior citizen opened up his shirt and was soon signed up for his benefits.

Upon arriving home, he related the story to his wife. She looked at him, smiled and said, "Too bad you didn't drop your pants. You would have qualified for disability too!"


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DJ4HEALTH's Photo DJ4HEALTH Posts: 39,825
7/24/13 1:59 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Dorothy





 current weight: 224.0 
 
274
235.5
197
158.5
120
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
7/24/13 12:41 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call of a baby being born. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a three-year old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby...
Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Conner was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Conner began to cry.

The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed three-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed...

Kathleen quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place.....smack him again!'

If you don't laugh at this one, there's no hope for you.


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
7/24/13 12:39 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
yes

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
MAYBER's Photo MAYBER SparkPoints: (76,928)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 8,999
7/24/13 12:08 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
remember when we laughed when some one said

Pig fell in the Mud

 current weight: 172.2 
 
206
197
188
179
170
DJ4HEALTH's Photo DJ4HEALTH Posts: 39,825
5/22/13 4:07 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
LOL

Dorothy





 current weight: 224.0 
 
274
235.5
197
158.5
120
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
5/15/13 8:32 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
thanks

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
CRAZYGAGRANNY's Photo CRAZYGAGRANNY SparkPoints: (98,811)
Fitness Minutes: (101,883)
Posts: 20,994
5/15/13 7:57 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
The owner of an old-fashioned corner grocery store in a small country town was fond of quoting a scripture after each sale. He had three old friends that would sit around a pot-bellied stove, playing checkers on a faded board. His ability to produce a scripture for all occasions never ceased to amuse the old timers, and they would listen to see what verse he would come up with relevant to the sale made.

A lady purchased some material and he said, "She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands." A man bought a sack of flour; he said "Man does not live by bread alone, but every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." A little boy bought some candy and as he rung it up he quoted, "Suffer the little children to come unto Me."

It was nearly closing time when the chimes over the door jangled loudly. A well dressed young man, obviously a stranger from one of the larger towns down the road, entered.

"Help you?" offered the proprietor. "I need a blanket for my horse," said the man. "He's out inhis trailer and it's too cold for just one. Bring me the nicest one you've got!"

The store owner went in the back store room and came back with a brown blanket. "That'll be five dollars."

"Five dollars? You've got to be kidding!' said the man. "This horse is a thoroughbred. He gets only the best! He wouldn't stand still for an old five dollar blanket." Without comment, the store owner took back the blanket, then merely selected a different color and brought it out. "This one's $25 dollars."

"Now, look," said the young man. "Perhaps I didn't make myself plain. This isn't just any old horse! He's worth thousands! Now I want the best, most expensive blanket you've got! Comprende?" The owner once more went into the store room, pulled out another color of the same material and brought it back. "This is the only one left, and it's $100."

"Now that's more like it!" enthused the fellow as he paid. Throwing the five dollar blanket over his shoulder, he left. The old timers stared silently at the shopkeeper as they waited to see what possible scripture he could come up with for that sale! Going behind the register, he rang up the hundred dollars and said, "He was a stranger, and I took him in."

DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
1/16/13 11:56 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
your welcome

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
BRAVEONE92's Photo BRAVEONE92 SparkPoints: (113,022)
Fitness Minutes: (140,550)
Posts: 22,351
1/16/13 11:07 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon Dee, I needed a giggle. emoticon

"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Psalm 121: 1-2 (NIV)


 
113,022 SparkPoints
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
1/15/13 10:29 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply

4. During a patient's two week follow-up
appointment with his cardiologist, he informed
me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with
one of his medications..
' Which one ?'. .. . I asked. 'The patch...
The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it !'
I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped
I wouldn't see.
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!

Now, the instructions include removal of
the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair,
Norfolk , VA

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
11/25/12 11:19 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
11/25/12 11:17 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
cute

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
MAYBER's Photo MAYBER SparkPoints: (76,928)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 8,999
11/25/12 6:01 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Remember the old joke

A pig fell in the mud

and everyone laughed

 current weight: 172.2 
 
206
197
188
179
170
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
11/11/12 10:04 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
soon will post more jokes

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
MAYBER's Photo MAYBER SparkPoints: (76,928)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 8,999
11/11/12 9:12 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Am glad my post gave you a laugh intention met and done
Am not a joke teller so will not bore you with something that will not make sense
So some of you must know something funny to share with us
One day at a time


Edited by: MAYBER at: 11/11/2012 (21:13)
 current weight: 172.2 
 
206
197
188
179
170
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
11/7/12 9:43 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
lol

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
MAYBER's Photo MAYBER SparkPoints: (76,928)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 8,999
11/7/12 8:24 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Once upon a time
LOL

 current weight: 172.2 
 
206
197
188
179
170
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
8/4/12 11:24 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
yes we do

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
MAYBER's Photo MAYBER SparkPoints: (76,928)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 8,999
8/4/12 9:19 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
We need more giggles in our lives
One day at a time

 current weight: 172.2 
 
206
197
188
179
170
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
7/29/12 11:22 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
lol

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEBBY4576's Photo DEBBY4576 Posts: 4,304
7/29/12 9:01 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
That was really a cute one. Thanks.

AZ time. We don't observe DST.

Debby

New Co Leader of Natural Remedies, Natural Health.
"Years teach us more than books."
Berthold Auerbach


Don't let your past hold your future hostage.


 current weight: 131.0 
 
138
136
134
132
130
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
5/27/12 10:37 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
An Irish priest was transferred to Texas .. Father O'Malley rose from
His bed one morning. It was a
Fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of
The beautiful day outside.

He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

He promptly called the local police station......
The conversation went like this:

''Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?''

''And the best of the day te yerself.. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church.

There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn "

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk,

''Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!''

There was dead silence on the line for a moment....................................
.......

Father O'Malley then replied:

'Aye, 'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.''


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
4/30/12 4:58 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I know

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
CRAZYGAGRANNY's Photo CRAZYGAGRANNY SparkPoints: (98,811)
Fitness Minutes: (101,883)
Posts: 20,994
4/30/12 12:08 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
LOL! This sounds so familiar. Thanks Dee..We all need a good laugh every day!

DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
3/13/12 11:53 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Picnic

At a family picnic, my aunt was admonishing her

six-year-old son to wash his hands before eating.

He protested that they weren't dirty, though after

a few minutes of complaining, the boy finally did

go and wash them.

Later, while they stood in line for the condiments

to add to their hamburgers, the boy dropped his

food on the grass. He stood whimpering at his mother's

side until she said: "Oh, pick it up. A little dirt

never hurt anyone."

- from Da Mouse Tracks


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
3/13/12 11:53 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A teenager who had just received her learner's

permit offered to drive her parents to church.

After a hair-raising ride, they finally reached

their destination.

When the mother got out of the car she said

emphatically, "Thank you!"

"Anytime," her daughter replied with a smile.

As her mother headed for the church door, she

said, "I wasn't talking to you. I was talking

to God."

- from Mikey's Funnies


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
3/1/12 10:04 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
lol

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
CRAZYGAGRANNY's Photo CRAZYGAGRANNY SparkPoints: (98,811)
Fitness Minutes: (101,883)
Posts: 20,994
3/1/12 12:00 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
"Oh Goodness," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!"

Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, "I'm not surprised: You've been giving me a piece of it every day for thirty years!"


Edited by: CRAZYGAGRANNY at: 3/1/2012 (12:00)
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/28/12 11:29 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
BRAVEONE92's Photo BRAVEONE92 SparkPoints: (113,022)
Fitness Minutes: (140,550)
Posts: 22,351
2/28/12 8:57 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Psalm 121: 1-2 (NIV)


 
113,022 SparkPoints
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/28/12 6:12 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
oh my what speed lady

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
CRAZYGAGRANNY's Photo CRAZYGAGRANNY SparkPoints: (98,811)
Fitness Minutes: (101,883)
Posts: 20,994
2/28/12 12:12 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies-two in the front seat and three in the back-wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him,
"Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly ...Twenty- two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks with concern.

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."

DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/27/12 8:09 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
lol

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
CRAZYGAGRANNY's Photo CRAZYGAGRANNY SparkPoints: (98,811)
Fitness Minutes: (101,883)
Posts: 20,994
2/27/12 9:40 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.

The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, "Oh, no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50." The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied,
"Not yet. It's his turn with the teeth.


CRAZYGAGRANNY's Photo CRAZYGAGRANNY SparkPoints: (98,811)
Fitness Minutes: (101,883)
Posts: 20,994
2/27/12 9:31 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon emoticon That sounds about right! Thanks DEE I needed a good laugh!

DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/22/12 11:50 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Permit

A zoning board had just been set up in a new community.

A homeowner went to the office to request permission

to build a small tool shed in his backyard.

"Do you have a plan?" asked the director.

"Oh, yes," said the owner, who showed him a map of his

neighborhood, the dimension of his yard, and a sketch

of the shed.

"That looks fine," said the director. He pulled out a

piece of paper, wrote a few words on it, copied it,

and said, "Here's your permit."

A month later, a neighbor in exactly the same situation

also wanted permission for a shed in her yard. She went

to the director, got as far as a secretary, and made her

request.

"Thank you, Mrs. Smith," said the secretary, taking the

documents. "Telephone me in two weeks and I'll let you

know what the director's decision is, or what further

steps are necessary."

"But," groaned Mrs. Smith, "a month ago my neighbor got

her permit right away."

"Oh, yes," said the secretary, "but that was before we

finally got organized."

- from Pastor Tim

--------

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/22/12 11:49 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Baby

At 3 AM in the morning, a young wife shook her

husband awake.

Groggily he asked "What is it?"

"The baby," she reminded him.

The husband sat up and listened intently.

"But

I don't hear her crying," he protested.

"I know, and it's your turn to see why not!"

- from Da Mouse Tracks


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/21/12 11:52 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply

I had finished my Christmas shopping early and had

wrapped all the presents. Having two curious children,

I had to find a suitable hiding place. I chose an

ideal spot—the furnace room. I stacked the presents

and covered them with a blanket, positive they'd

remain undiscovered.

When I went to get the gifts to put them under the

tree, I lifted the blanket and there, stacked neatly

on top of my gifts, were presents addressed to

"Mom and Dad, From the Kids."

- from Da Mouse Tracks


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/21/12 11:50 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply

Our son and his wife took their two children to the

store to see Santa Claus. However, when it was time

for three-year-old, Maude to go up and talk to Santa,

she became shy and wouldn't go.

Several times, Santa asked her to come to him, but

she refused. Finally, he asked, "Would you like a

present?"

"Yes" Maude replied.

"Can you come get it?" Santa asked.

Maude thought about this for a moment, then said,

"Can you throw it?"

- from Da Mouse Tracks


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/21/12 11:48 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Missing Pages

A surgeon goes to return some books he

borrowed from the library.

The librarian quips after checking the

books. "Sir, your books are always returned

with the last page missing in every single

book."

The surgeon replies, "I can't stop myself

from removing an appendix whenever I see

one."

- from Ann F.

--------


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/21/12 11:46 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
One morning I found a beautiful long-stemmed rose

lying by the kitchen sink. Even though the flower

was plastic, I was thinking how, after all the years

we had been married, my husband could still make

such a wonderful romantic gesture.

Then I noticed a love note lying next to it.

"Dear Sue," it read.

"Don't touch the rose, I'm using the stem to

unclog the drain."

- from Da Mouse Tracks


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/20/12 11:07 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Christmas Gift

Figuring that her four-year-old son Kevin was listening

in the next room, Janet decided to tell her husband Don

the latest Christmas gift she had bought the boy by

spelling out the words "fire truck". Don nodded and said,

"I think it would be a great Christmas gift."

From the other side of the wall, they heard Kevin yell,

"I don't want letters for Christmas!"


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/20/12 11:06 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Peace and Quiet

Little Johnny ran up to his uncle's chair. "Uncle,

tell me again - what do you want for Christmas?"

The uncle smiled and repeated, "I just want some

peace and quiet."

Johnny's face drooped a bit as he replied, "I know,

but I just came back from the mall and they're out

of it!"

- from Da Mouse Tracks


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/20/12 11:04 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Boat and Extras

Busy in the yard one afternoon, my father paused

to admire our neighbor's new boat. "She sure is a

beauty, Charles," Dad said. Knowing that Charles's

wife was conservative when it came to spending

money, my father asked, "Was it expensive?"

"The boat itself wasn't so bad," Charles replied.

"But the extras really hurt."

"You mean things like water skis, life jackets and

trailer?" my father asked.

"No," our neighbor said with a sigh. "I mean the

new carpet, the kitchen cabinets and the living-

room furniture."

- from Teddi's Humor List


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/20/12 11:02 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Car

After shopping for weeks, I finally found the car

of my dreams. It was only two years old and in

beautiful condition. The salesman asked if I would

like to take it for a test drive.

We had traveled no more than two miles when

the car broke down. The salesman called for a

tow truck.

When it arrived, we climbed into the front seat.

While the driver was hooking up the car, the

salesman turned to me with a smile and said,

"Well, now, what is it going to take to put you

behind the wheel of that beauty today?"

- from Da Mouse Tracks

------------------

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/20/12 11:00 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Drummer Boy

Little Jonny thanked his grandmother for the

set of drums she bought him for his birthday.

"They're the best present I've ever had,"

he said. "They've already made me $10."

"Wow!" said the grandmother. "You must

have learned to play them real good!"

"Not really," said the boy. "But Mom gave

me $5 not to play during the day, and

Dad gave me $5 not to play at night."

- from Ann F.


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/20/12 10:59 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply

A man driving an old wreck of a car drove

up to a toll booth.

"One dollar," said the toll collector.

"Sold!" said the driver.

- from Da Mouse Tracks


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/14/12 10:00 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
glad you giggle

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
BRAVEONE92's Photo BRAVEONE92 SparkPoints: (113,022)
Fitness Minutes: (140,550)
Posts: 22,351
2/14/12 5:29 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Psalm 121: 1-2 (NIV)


 
113,022 SparkPoints
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/14/12 2:52 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Church Attendance

A man who hadn't attended church in years suddenly

began attending faithfully on Sunday mornings instead of

going fishing as was his normal habit.

The pastor was highly gratified and at the end of service

one morning told him, "How wonderful it makes me feel

to see you at services with your good wife!"

"Well, Preacher," said the fisherman, "Quite honestly, it's a

matter of choice. I'd much rather hear your sermon than hers."

From AcraMax Jokes

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/14/12 2:51 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply

1. Pays better than fast food, though the hours aren't as good.

2. Fashionable shoes & sexy white uniforms.

3. Needles: It's better to give than to receive.

4. Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops eventually.

5. Expose yourself to rare, exotic, & exciting new diseases.

6. Interesting aromas.

7. Courteous & infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in
perfectly legible handwriting.

8. Do enough charting to navigate around the world.

9. Celebrate the holidays with all your friends, at work.

10. Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter what you
do to them.

From AcraM

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/14/12 2:49 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he

read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take

her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled

cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his

again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"

"Yes, sweetheart," he answered. "God made me a long time

ago."

"Oh," she paused. "Grandpa, did God make me too?"

"Yes, indeed, honey," he said. "God made you just a little

while ago."

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's

getting better at it, isn't he?"

Received from Andychap.

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/14/12 2:48 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Library Blonde

A blonde goes into a library and says,

"Hello. I'm here to see the doctor."

The librarian replies, "This is a library."

So the blonde lowers her voice and says,

"Oh sorry!" Then whispers, "I'm here to see the doctor."

From AcraMax Jokes

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/10/12 10:30 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Nurse Pin

While visiting a friend who was in the hospital, I noticed

several of nurses were wearing a pin designed to look like

an apple. I asked one nurse what the pin signified.

"Nothing," she said with a smile. "It's just to keep the

doctors away."

- from Sally B.


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/10/12 10:29 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
One day a salesman stopped by the Jammer Jones farm

and knocked. Jammer's wife Frannie came to the door.

"Is your husband home, ma'am?" he asked.

"Sure is. He's over to the cow barn."

"Well, I've got something to show him, ma'am. Will I

have any difficulty finding him?"

"Shouldn't have any difficulties. He's the one with

the beard and mustache.

- from Bestofhumor.com


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/9/12 9:01 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
On the first day of school, the teacher greeted the

children and asked their names and ages. When it

came Bennie's turn, he held up four fingers.

"Oh, you're 4," said the teacher. "And when will

you be 5?"

The child stared at her and after a few seconds

replied, "When I hold up the other finger."

- from Ann F.


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/9/12 9:00 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Although a bright and able man, my husband is almost

completely helpless when faced with even the simplest

domestic chore.

One day, in exasperation. I pointed out to him that

our friend, Bea had taught her husband, Frank, to

cook, sew and do laundry, and that if anything ever

happened to Bea, Frank would be able to care for

himself.

Then I said, "What would you do if anything happened

to me?"

After considering that possibility for a moment, my

husband said happily, "I'd move in with Frank."


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/9/12 8:59 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply

A mother gave her teenage daughter a car

for her eighteenth birthday.

As she handed over the keys, she explained

that it was a magic car.

The girl, of course, was very excited,

and asked what it did.

"Well," said Mom, "Just get one ticket and

you'll see how quickly it will disappear."

- from Ann F.

---

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/9/12 8:56 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
My mom is a less than fastidious housekeeper.

One evening my dad returned home from work,

walked into the kitchen and teased her, "You know,

dear, I can write my name in the dust on the mantel."

Mom turned to him and sweetly replied, "Yes, darling,

I know. That's why I married a college graduate."

- from AcraMax Jokes


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/9/12 8:55 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Coupon Heaven

While handing a 25 cents-off coupon to the supermarket

clerk at the checkout counter, a woman inadvertently

missed her hand, and the coupon slipped beneath the

scale and was gone.

The checker looked distressed so the woman said, "That's

OK - it's in coupon heaven now."

"Coupon heaven?" the checker said.

"Yes," the woman said. "That's where coupons go when they

die."

"Only the redeemed ones!" said the checker.


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/7/12 10:55 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
your welcome

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
BRAVEONE92's Photo BRAVEONE92 SparkPoints: (113,022)
Fitness Minutes: (140,550)
Posts: 22,351
2/7/12 9:26 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I really liked this one Dee!! emoticon

"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Psalm 121: 1-2 (NIV)


 
113,022 SparkPoints
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/6/12 11:33 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Late For Sunday School

A young boy came to Sunday School late. His teacher

knew that he was usually very prompt and asked him

if anything was wrong.

The boy replied no, that he was going fishing but

his dad told him that he needed to go to church.

The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy

if his dad had explained to him why it was more

important to go to church than to go fishing?

The boy replied, "Yes he did. Dad said he didn't

have enough bait for both of us."

- from Pastor Tim (via Coffeetime with Bonnie)


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/6/12 11:31 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply

A high-powered executive was speeding down the

street, talking on his cellphone. The police

soon pulled him over.

The executive completed his call and looked up

at the officer. "Yes?" he said.

"I bet you don't even know why I stopped you,"

the officer replied.

Said the executive, "You want to use my phone?"

- from Da Mouse Tracks


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/6/12 11:29 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Never Trust a Street Gang in Heaven

One day St. Peter saw a street gang walking

up to the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter ran to God and said, "God, there

are some low-life street gang members at the

Gates. What do I do?"

God relied, "Just do what you normally do

with that type. Redirect them."

St. Peter went back to carry out the order,

but he suddenly came running back and yelling,

"God, God, they’re gone! They’re gone!"

"The street gang?"

"No, the Pearly Gates!"

- from Beliefnet


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/6/12 11:28 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A little old lady owned a home beside the fifth

fairway, and stray Instead of getting angry, she

removed the fence along the boundary, invited

the golfers onto her property, showed them where

their ball was located, and encouraged them to

take their next shot from that spot.

Even when they missed and dug deep divots in her

lawn, she would tell them to go ahead and take

another swing.

A visitor,

after witnessing her overly courteous

behavior, couldn't help but comment. "How come

you let them tear up your yard like that?" the

visitor asked, "and not only that, you encourage

them."

"I'm not as courteous as you think," the old lady

replied. "I'm planning on turning my yard into a

garden, and I figure within another month they'll

have it plowed for me."

- from Da Mouse Tracks

DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
BRAVEONE92's Photo BRAVEONE92 SparkPoints: (113,022)
Fitness Minutes: (140,550)
Posts: 22,351
2/3/12 8:37 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Psalm 121: 1-2 (NIV)


 
113,022 SparkPoints
DEE107's Photo DEE107 SparkPoints: (355,892)
Fitness Minutes: (252,400)
Posts: 409,924
2/2/12 11:03 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply

When my father ran out of gas, he called my mother

to pick him up in her car. They went to a gas

station, filled a gas can, and returned to his car.

After a few minutes, he got into her car again. "We

need to go back to the gas station," he said.

"One gallon wasn't enough?" she asked.

"It would have been if I'd put it in the right car."

- from Reader's Digest


DEE Southern New Jersey
CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVE ONE'S
SP Class of Oct 12-18 2008.
Losing Weight & Disabled
Menopause & Losing
Secrets of Life
Grandpas & Grandmas Are Special
40s & up...Sculpting a new U

Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
Hope makes all things work

God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




 current weight: 195.0 
 
235
213.75
192.5
171.25
150
Page: 1 of (3)   1 2 Next Page › Last Page »

Report Innappropriate Post

Other CARETAKER'S OF OUR LOVED ONES MOTIVATIONAL IDEAS AND THEMES Posts

Topics: Last Post:
WHAT ARE YOU THANKFUL FOR THIS YEAR! 7/24/2013 12:37:02 AM

Thread URL: http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=19196x50140x44301814

Review our Community Guidelines