I used to be "one of those people who could eat anything and not gain an ounce!" And then I became 40 years old, became disabled because of RA, nerve damage, OA, degenerative arthritis, serious GERD, COPD, and etc., etc. My activity slowed down consideribly but my eating didn't. I also started to remember some very difficult childhood abuse that knocked me to my knees. Menopause and I had to start on steroids and my weight went up to almost 200 pounds. I didn't recognize myself in the mirror. I went to a new rheumatologist who decided I didn't have RA, took me off all medications, and my feet twisted inward so badly that I needed surgery on both of them so I could wear shoes and walk! I lost all the weight but I couldn't walk! I gradually gained 30 pounds back and here I sit. I have since lost 10 pounds soooo slow it has been painful.
Back to the comments. My family doesn't say much about my weight - especially my husband as he is overweight himself. My daughters comment when I lose weight and are encouraging, but otherwise they are kind. The comments that I struggle with are from my childhood. Their intent was to "program" me so that I would do whatever they wished me to do (and believe me it wasn't pretty), I was so stubborn, I was physically and otherwise abused a lot. Anyway, they told me all they time I was unloved, worthless, bad, hated, awful - well I am putting what they said in nicer terms. They tried to form my "core beliefs" so that I would be molded into what they wanted me to be. They were partially successful.
Those messages still come up today and I have to counter them with positive messages and Bibles verses.
Beckanafo, I do understand how all those negantive comments can really hurt and "stick." I'm sorry that your MIL and your husband were so hurtful. Sometimes you have to go through the actual process of writing them down, declaring them "not true (or whatever words work for you), and destroying the printed word. I burned the messages! That really helped me! It didn't get rid of them (as mine were put into my head for years and years but it did start the healing process for me and it helped take the words power away) but it might do the trick for you. Or @ least really help? I did it with a therapist, but it was my own idea.
Anytime we can actually talk, write, paint, sculpt, or do anything else to get our feelings/messages out, we help ourselves on our journey of healing. I think that this exercise was helpful for me, anyway. Thanks everyone for sharing.
Edited by: SERENEMOM71 at: 3/31/2011 (13:50)
I can do ALL things through Christ whom strengthens me.
| current weight: 156.0