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AUSSIEFLOSS's Photo AUSSIEFLOSS SparkPoints: (33,957)
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9/21/10 7:37 P

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thanks for humouring me!

~~Aussie~~


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BARCLE's Photo BARCLE SparkPoints: (166,409)
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9/21/10 5:51 A

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emoticon

Smile .... it makes people wonder what you're up to ;-)

The fourth glass of wine is always a good idea before you do it and a really bad idea afterward! ;-)

It is far easier to MAKE time to exercise than it is to FIND time to exercise. You want results???? MAKE it happen.


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AUSSIEFLOSS's Photo AUSSIEFLOSS SparkPoints: (33,957)
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9/16/10 2:28 A

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How 'bout this?
A drunk man runs into a bar. 'ouch!'

~~Aussie~~


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9/14/10 4:28 A

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baa haa haa haa

Smile .... it makes people wonder what you're up to ;-)

The fourth glass of wine is always a good idea before you do it and a really bad idea afterward! ;-)

It is far easier to MAKE time to exercise than it is to FIND time to exercise. You want results???? MAKE it happen.


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AUSSIEFLOSS's Photo AUSSIEFLOSS SparkPoints: (33,957)
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9/10/10 12:42 P

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EWE!!!

~~Aussie~~


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JUKEBOX2's Photo JUKEBOX2 Posts: 31,050
9/5/10 7:39 P

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Too Funny... LOL

Ray Brookwell - My Spark Name is Jukebox2

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Why Settle for Good When Better is Available and Best IS Achieveable!

In Order To Change Your Weighs you have to change your ways


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JULESCP's Photo JULESCP Posts: 1,375
9/5/10 4:00 P

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A traveling salesman walks into a bar after being on the road for weeks. He is thirsty...and in need of the company of a woman.

He orders a beer, drinks it down, then calls the bartender over.

"I've been traveling for awhile. Do you know where I might be able to find the company of the fairer sex?"

Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't have any women in this town."

The salesman laughs and says, "No seriously, where can I find the ladies?"

Bartender replies, "No seriously, we don't have any women in this town. However, if you're really hard up, you can head out that back door. There's a field of sheep..."

The salesman stares at the bartender in disbelief and says, "No way! I'm not that desperate." He orders another beer and says nothing more.

After a few more beers, he's more drunk and more desperate. He calls the bartender back over. "You sure you guys don't have any women in this town?"

"Nope, but the sheep are that way."

Finally horny enough to try anything, the salesman heads out the back door. He's gone for about two hours when he comes back in cuddling with a sheep under his arm.

Everyone in the bar turns to look when the bartender gasps out loud.

The salesman drops the sheep and says, "Hey, I thought you said you guys used the sheep out back!!!"

Bartender says, "Yeah, we do, but that's the sheriff's girl!"

Julia:

Life is too short not to LIVE OUT LOUD!


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BARCLE's Photo BARCLE SparkPoints: (166,409)
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9/5/10 4:10 A

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I like it emoticon

Smile .... it makes people wonder what you're up to ;-)

The fourth glass of wine is always a good idea before you do it and a really bad idea afterward! ;-)

It is far easier to MAKE time to exercise than it is to FIND time to exercise. You want results???? MAKE it happen.


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JUKEBOX2's Photo JUKEBOX2 Posts: 31,050
9/4/10 10:58 P

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LOL emoticon

Ray Brookwell - My Spark Name is Jukebox2

Commit To Fit


Why Settle for Good When Better is Available and Best IS Achieveable!

In Order To Change Your Weighs you have to change your ways


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JULESCP's Photo JULESCP Posts: 1,375
9/4/10 10:47 P

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A termite walks into a bar. He asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

Grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you." Grasshopper says, "Really, you have a drink named Earl?"

Julia:

Life is too short not to LIVE OUT LOUD!


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BARCLE's Photo BARCLE SparkPoints: (166,409)
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9/4/10 5:02 A

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emoticon you guys are cool - funny jokes - I love it emoticon

Smile .... it makes people wonder what you're up to ;-)

The fourth glass of wine is always a good idea before you do it and a really bad idea afterward! ;-)

It is far easier to MAKE time to exercise than it is to FIND time to exercise. You want results???? MAKE it happen.


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JULESCP's Photo JULESCP Posts: 1,375
9/3/10 12:37 P

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Bar Bitch U Ate! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Julia:

Life is too short not to LIVE OUT LOUD!


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JUKEBOX2's Photo JUKEBOX2 Posts: 31,050
9/2/10 8:32 P

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A Bear walks into a bar... He demands to have a beer. The bartender says we don't serve your kind in here... The bear starts to get mad... he demands to be served beer, the bartender says I'm sorry we don't serve your kind in here... The bear becomes furious! He demands his beer now or there's going to be trouble! The Barmaid comes over to the bear and starts sweet talking the bear, I'm sorry sweety but wildlife is not allowed in this place at anytime or we lose our license! The bear loses it and eats the barmaid... A policeman who's sitting over in a corner after watching everything springs into action , runs over to the bear, slaps the handcuffs on him and says you're under arrest! The bear shouts back "For what?" Narcotics says the policeman... The bear says narcotics... are you blind man,,, didn't you see what just went down?
The policeman said "Yup... Narcotics! The bear again asks why Narcotics? The policeman replies... That's easy my friend... That was a Bar Bitch U Ate!


Ray Brookwell - My Spark Name is Jukebox2

Commit To Fit


Why Settle for Good When Better is Available and Best IS Achieveable!

In Order To Change Your Weighs you have to change your ways


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AUSSIEFLOSS's Photo AUSSIEFLOSS SparkPoints: (33,957)
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9/2/10 12:57 P

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Thanks. I felt like such a dork for writing that. Well, anything goes right?
emoticon

~~Aussie~~


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JULESCP's Photo JULESCP Posts: 1,375
9/2/10 11:40 A

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Laughing. I'm laughing. Really, out loud even!

Julia:

Life is too short not to LIVE OUT LOUD!


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AUSSIEFLOSS's Photo AUSSIEFLOSS SparkPoints: (33,957)
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9/2/10 1:42 A

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I'm sorry I don't know what I was thinking.
emoticon

~~Aussie~~


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9/2/10 1:41 A

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Hee hee I love that last one! Simple yet funny!

Can I make up a joke? Let's see, I can't remember any.

A bear walks into a bar and growls 'Hey! Give me a beer'. The bartender says 'Sure! Beer for you is on the house!' The usual customers are puzzled because the bartender/owner is very stingy and never gives anything away for free. The bear drinks until he passes out. The bartender whips out his rifle and shoots the bear, and says 'Thanks for the new trophy for my bar, bear!' The bear didn't see all the stuffed trophies hanging around the bar.

Ok stupid not funny (un)joke.

~~Aussie~~


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JUKEBOX2's Photo JUKEBOX2 Posts: 31,050
9/1/10 9:42 P

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A dyslexic walks into a bra

Ray Brookwell - My Spark Name is Jukebox2

Commit To Fit


Why Settle for Good When Better is Available and Best IS Achieveable!

In Order To Change Your Weighs you have to change your ways


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BARCLE's Photo BARCLE SparkPoints: (166,409)
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9/1/10 7:00 P

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A blonde walks into a bar .... ouch, you think she'd look where she was going!

Smile .... it makes people wonder what you're up to ;-)

The fourth glass of wine is always a good idea before you do it and a really bad idea afterward! ;-)

It is far easier to MAKE time to exercise than it is to FIND time to exercise. You want results???? MAKE it happen.


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TAROTGARDEN's Photo TAROTGARDEN SparkPoints: (70,767)
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9/1/10 5:17 P

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says: "What is this... some kind of joke?"

~ Jeannette

Leader of SparkTarot! -- a SparkTeam for persons interested in using tarot concepts and symbolism to achieve a healthy inner- and outer life. Visit us at:

teams.sparkpeople.com/tarot


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JULESCP's Photo JULESCP Posts: 1,375
9/1/10 4:07 P

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I love these kinds of jokes. Post yours, too. Here are a couple to get you started...

A horse walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Why such the long face?"

A pirate walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Captain, do you realize you have a steering wheel in your pants."
"Aaaaarrrrrggggghhhh. Aye, it's drivin' me nuts!"

Julia:

Life is too short not to LIVE OUT LOUD!


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