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PAPA175's Photo PAPA175 Posts: 973
8/6/12 12:03 A

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I am still no expert on marriage (always working on it though) but my three yr old granddaughter stayed with us alot and talks about getting her very own husband. She will not be deterred from it. The thing we didn't get at first is she sees me and Grandma as best friends. You seem eager to please your man and so you have already become closer to your goal. At two my granddaughter was doing dishes, washing the laundry, taking out the trash and using a chair to cook. If you spend some extra time with training your son to contribute to the household it will also show your husband how important raising his son is. A great bond.

I am not much for babysitters, unless they are a necessity and that you and your husband must decide that. My advice is to stop entertaining your two yr old and start training so you can enjoy time as a family and not have a need to get a break from it. As far as alone time, learn to get a sneak kiss, flirt with each other and let him know how much you desire him. If you get caught kissing, at least the kiddo knows you two are special to each other and that is so precious.

On an encouraging note, hang in there, it gets better and easier. After the second or third one you won't feel so stressed over a messy house and late dinners. Hint: Frozen chicken and veggies is a quick fix. I cannot cook but my wife uses it if in a hurry. Good luck

Edited by: PAPA175 at: 8/6/2012 (00:07)
Hoping for Success Without Hard work is Like Trying to Harvest Without Planting.
Charles


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TALLGIRLX3's Photo TALLGIRLX3 Posts: 488
7/26/12 11:35 A

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@ LAKENDAL - thanks for the tip... and that is what we used to do. But we have a 2 year old and between work, commuting, entertaining the kiddo, and daily household "stuff" there's not much time to do stuff with just the 2 of us.

@ JCEDIT89 - I think you are right on cue with the baby sitter thing. We have teenage girls on both sides of us as next door neighbors and at least 2 of the 4 have almost been begging to babysit (I have minor issues with leaving my son with anyone but his regular sitter or my mom - I need to get past that.) But I think I'm going to take them up on it.

Keep it simple - complications make things complicated!
~Me


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JCEDIT89's Photo JCEDIT89 SparkPoints: (166,539)
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7/24/12 7:27 P

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We have to keep working on this! My husband and I have been married 30+ years and have 3 kids. We have struggled to keep our 'spark' going over the years, especially when the children were very young. It is a bit easier now, since they can be on their own more and look out for each other. Also, oldest does not live at home anymore.

I think you keep your spark going by making a daily effort. Be kind, polite, and thoughtful to one another. This may seem obvious, but NOT doing it damages your relationship. Unfortunately, I speak from experience.

Do small acts of kindness for one another--regardless of how minor it may seem. I have done everything from clearing my husband's plate from the table to all his laundry to detailing his car. And he surprises me with little gifts (including food, sometimes!), making dinner, or putting surprises in my car for me to find the next day. This week, he bought me a cookbook that I really liked when I borrowed it from the library. I put it on my Christmas 'wish list', but he didn't wait for Christmas!

Communicate in any way you can. We talk, text, email, use the phone, leave notes, and so on. He will often call on his way home from work knowing that the kids will usually leave us alone when we're on the phone, but not when we are all at home together.

Date one another. Have a corps of babysitters that you can call on. We did not do this when our kids were young and have paid a big price for it. We are still working to re-establish a better relationship (both physical and emotional) after years of neglect.

Good luck to you and yours ! emoticon

"You cannot accept another with a hateful heart. You cannot hear the other with a closed mind. You cannot embrace with closed arms. You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist."
--Indira Priyadarshini Gandhi


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LAKENDAL's Photo LAKENDAL Posts: 5,112
7/24/12 6:18 P

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My hubby and I are celebrating 14 years together today. We keep our spark alive by doing a lot of things together. We spend a lot of time doing things like "floating the river" or going on "day trips".

Welcome to the team and good luck.

Laura. Mio, Michigan

Lord help me remember that nothing is going to happen today that you and I can't handle together.

If ignorance is bliss why arenít more people happy?



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TALLGIRLX3's Photo TALLGIRLX3 Posts: 488
7/24/12 10:02 A

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Good morning, all!

My name is Becca and I am brand new to this team. I would like to ask a little advise from you all on what you do to keep the spark alive between you and your spouse?

Hubby came to me and said he wished we had more intimacy (both physically and emotionally). So - I'd like some tips as to how you keep your marriage interesting, fun, and just flat out romantic!




Keep it simple - complications make things complicated!
~Me


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