I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this right now. It sounds very upsetting and frustrating for you both.
I am certainly no expert in matters of marriage or love or romance. My dh and I have our share of struggles in our relationship at times!
I have a few questions for you, though. Have you tried talking to your husband about the struggles? If so, what did he say about it? Did he have any thoughts on it all?
Do you know each other's 'love language'? Have you ever heard of this concept? There is a series of books written by Gary Chapman. He maintains that each person has one of 5 love languages. He also says that we are often attracted to people who have a different love language than our own. And just like a person who does not speak our verbal language, when you get two people speaking different love languages, they do not 'understand' each other, they do not feel love from the other person.
For example, if my husband feels loved when I do acts of service for him, me writing him a love note, while nice enough, does not mean as much as if I iron his shirts or do errands for him. Likewise, if my love language is quality time, my dh can get me as many gifts as he likes, but I only feel cherished if he spends time with me, just being together.
Perhaps the two of you do not feel loved by each other? Is that possible? Usually when there is a problem, it is because we are not 'speaking' the same 'language'. I find that whatever my dh is complaining the most about, is what matters to him the most.
I would suggest talking to your husband about the situation. Enjoy another 'romantic' evening together, not with sexual intimacy the goal at first, but emotional intimacy. Then, when the emotional is there, the physical may follow.
The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
|36 Days since: negative thoughts of myself