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4/17/11 6:11 P

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Thanks for listening and being sympathetic ladies :) I know things will get better with my daughter at some point... I just wish I knew when that was!

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4/15/11 12:31 P

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Oh Chic, I'm so sorry! AND, I can totally relate. My 4yo Lilly is like that. I feel like slamming my head into a wall. On a bad day, when she's had 3 or 4 and we haven't even had lunch yet, I want to slam her head into a wall. I admit it. I don't, obviously, but .... yeah ...I get it. I haven't found any way to deal with it yet, except wait for her to calm down and then try to explain to her that a screaming rant isn't going to make the problem better, she needs to take a deep breath and calm down.

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4/15/11 9:38 A

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Hang in there Chic!

AMJ...math is going really well again! Thanks for your help!!

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4/13/11 7:58 P

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Ms. Chic - Sending you a hug today cause those days are rough. I wish I could help in some way...all I can do is listen, so vent away!

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4/13/11 6:22 P

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Girls, I've got just say this.....I am SO sick of all the crying my daughter does. Everything, and I mean everything, is a big fat deal, and she cries. Everything is intense. I'm constantly biting my tongue to keep from telling her to just shut up and get over it. I try to be compassionate and comforting, but it's exhausting. We had a playdate today, and there were three different crying episodes in the space of 2 hours. It's not always this bad, but there isn't a day that goes by without her reacting to something in a way that is more like a 2 year old than the 6 and a half year old she is. I'm so tired of the crying and screaming when we go places. Frankly, it's embarrassing, and I'm always trying to fend off well meaning strangers who think they can help make it better. Which really only makes it worse, because The Professor does NOT like to interact with people she doesn't know. I'm kind of at the bang my head against the wall point today. Sigh.

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3/31/11 4:34 P

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I hope it helps. Please let me know how it goes.
Sending you good vibes!

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3/31/11 1:23 P

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Thank you for the advice! You did not overstep at all! I am very thankful for any bit of help. Math has always been his "thing" but our school district changed curriculum and he has been struggling. Or possibly it is jut getting harder for him. I will break out the Cherrios for homework time!!!

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3/31/11 10:20 A

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Dugie - maybe what your son needs is a physical way to do division. I know this sounds odd, but you can do it with dried beans or pasta and dixie cups. Have him set up the number of cups he needs for his divisor. Then, have him count out the number of beans or pasta or marbles or whatever it is that he will be dividing. I always tell my students that division means we are going to divide equally, so if you put a bean in one cup, then every one gets a bean. When everything is shared, have him count what is in the LAST cup. The answer will always be in the last cup.
I hope this helps. And if I've over stepped, let me know.
I also know what it's like to bang your head agaisnt the wall. Yesterday, M couldn't tell me what day came after Tuesday and he couldn't tell me the name of the town we live in. Ack.

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3/31/11 9:00 A

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I wish I could tell you I had a really great trick, but I don't. We just do lots and lots of flash cards and he has to write out tables once a week. He totally hates that.

The core curriculum that we use ... lots of parents with kids in school use it as extra work or summer time filler or as a tutor. If you want to check it out its

www.time4learning.com

Their math is really comprehensive and fun, too ... well, depending on the grade. As they get older, it gets a little more boring. You can select grade levels, tho, and go way under his level to help him with a problem area. I have found that to be so very useful!! it's very affordable - only $20/month - way cheaper than a tutor. But if you do sign up, tell them I sent you so I can get a referral ;) xoxo

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3/30/11 10:20 P

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I need to figure out something for division. He was able to memorize the multiplication facts. He is confused now that we have to reverse it for division. Ech...

Edited by: DUGIESTONER at: 3/31/2011 (07:43)
"Some people have one of those days, I have one of those lives."
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3/30/11 8:43 P

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Sigh indeed...learning styles are tricky, no? My daughter is VERY visual, and I've discovered that if I have a graph, or a picture, or whatever, she picks things up way faster. Maybe try drawing units of 9 and count until you get to 54?

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3/30/11 4:41 P

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Sigh...

Kids came home from school. We do homework as soon as they hit the door (most nights) because if we wait til later, we forget. No joke. I ask Joshua if he has HW. He says just 1 math problem he is stuck on. It is a word problem and he needs to divide 54 by 9.
Me: So what is 54 / 9?
Josh I don't know
M: What number times 9 is 54?
J: I don't know
M: What is 9x2?
J: 18
M: What is 9 x 3?
J: 27
M: What is 9 X 4 ?
J :36
M: What is 9 x 5?
J: 45
M: What is 9 x 6?
J :54
M: So, what number times 9 is 54?
J :I don't know

Bangs head off wall....


oh and did I mention my 7 yo possibly has a learning disability of some sort?

Edited by: DUGIESTONER at: 3/30/2011 (17:51)
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3/30/11 7:52 A

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Thank yo so very very much!!! I'm sure we will all call on you at some point or another ;)


Also, I don't know if any of you read Stark Raving Mad Mommy (I started reading her thru RFML), but she has a 4yo that is Aspie and the things she comes up with are amazing!! I've probably learned more about dealing with my son just reading about her dealing with hers :)

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3/29/11 11:23 P

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Hi everybody!

I'm the weirdo non-mom in this group (I just have 3 boxer dogs, a turtle, a gecko, and a bunch of high school students...)

I believe my expertise may be of some use to all of you! I work with students that have Autism/Asperger's and/or Emotional Disturbance. I've done oodles of research in both areas and had a plethora of personal and professional experiences working with these unique students.

Before I delve any deeper... this website is one of my absolute favorites for resources for and about people on the spectrum: www.aapcpublishing.net/

Hmmm... let me think... Ah, ADHD. While the co-morbidity of ADHD and Autism is high, it can be difficult to determine the *cause* of the inability to maintain focus (or the ability to hyper focus, depending on the subject). It may seem that an inability to pay attention or sit still is just that, but discovering the underlying cause is key to modifying behaviors. For example, many students with Autism or Asperger's take longer to process... so when we think they are just goofing off they may actually still be thinking about the question that was asked of them 30 seconds ago. Problems with sensory integration can sometimes look like hyperactivity... the Aspie brain doesn't always know how to appropriately interpret environmental cues and sometimes responds in inappropriate ways.

Well, it is way past my bedtime (5am comes too soon) and I've already forgotten whatever else it was I was going to share with everyone. PLEASE check out the link, look around, see if anything may be helpful (and no, I don't work for them... it would probably be worth the discount though!). Feel free to "friend" me or ask any questions you have. I'll do my best to provide an answer (whether I already "know" said answer, have to research it, or point you in the right direction...).


Edited by: MOMERATH42 at: 3/29/2011 (23:26)
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3/28/11 12:00 P

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Music:

Jack has a very high aptitude for music, more so than I've ever seen in a child. I remember when he was about 3, he was playing in the tub and was humming. I wasn't really paying attention at first, I was folding laundry in the bedroom. (I could see him, but wasn't right with him) After a few minutes, it dawned on me that he was humming "Flight of the Bumblebee" ... and hitting ALL the notes - perfectly. Since then, he's only improved. His ear for music is creepy. He only hears a song once and knows it. The music, the lyrics, the tempo, the beat, the rhythm .... ALL of it. He hums Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Mario, Beethoven, Bach, and Strauss all. the. time. We had him in piano for awhile, but we could only afford it for about a year, and haven't been able to do anything about it since, altho I'm trying to get something started with one of the gals from church right now. *crosses fingers*

As far as help ... we had an appointment for a behavioral psychiatrist a couple of weeks ago, but had to cancel it so hubby could take his dad to the doctor (reoccurring theme in my life right now - ha!), so we're going next month. Here's hoping... for something - anything...

Headmistress of Deprivation - Rants from Mommyland Team

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~~~ Consultant for 31 Gifts, Private Quarters, and Tupperware ~~~

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3/27/11 9:04 P

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I've been to a pediatric neurologist, pediatric psychiatrist, an educational psychologist and I've had him tested by the school district. My insurance won't cover the neuropsych exam and the cost is roughly $4,000 and a three to six month wait. As of right now, the treatment plan is based on his ADHD which is the combined type and his anxiety. He definitely has SP stuff going on, but most MDs that I've spoken to don't believe in any such thing.
I can see how the Katy Perry phase would make you nuts - my daughter loves her music and it only take two or thee lines of the song and it's stuck in my head all day!

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3/27/11 7:17 P

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No real music obsession here, but she loves music, and will hit on a genre or artist and that's all we can listen to for a while. The Katy Perry (one song on the radio and she was hooked) phase drove me a little crazy. 80s was the thing recently.

Have you all been to a developmental pediatrician or a pediatric neuropsychologist? We're in the process of starting to get a medical dx. We have a education dx from the school district specialists, but as far as our health coverage is involved, we can't get any therapy covered without a medical dx. But finding the right doctor is hard, and it sounds like the eval is a long process.

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3/27/11 3:19 P

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No music obsession here either,

Thanks for the info on the obsession thing, totally makes sense.

I don't have the rambling in car problem either b/c the Nintendo DS is permantly attached to Josh's fingers so he has it in the car. I let him. It keeps him quiet. Probably not the greatest parenting move, but it works for me. And it keeps him from touching his brother, or licking him, or talking. LOL

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3/27/11 1:56 P

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No music obsession, just math. Although the more I think about it...how can this kid (mine) be obsessed about so many different things? Legos, star wars, animals, math...the least he could do is become obsessed about food and cook for me!
YCA - thankfully, Marty reads constantly in the car so he doesn't pay attention to what's driving by. But I have to hear about every "fun fact", as he calls them. about animals. I know exactly how exhausting those car rides can be! What does Jack do in relation to music?

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3/27/11 10:50 A

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Jack's pediatrician told me before he was even a year old that we would have to watch for him to be on the spectrum ... no big deal, right? We'll see what happens when it happens. When he was 7, we had switched peds and I told her that I was a little concerned with Jack's fixation on cars and dinosaurs. Driving down the road with him is exhausting at best. he names every car, and usually gives a fact sheet with each one. She shrugged and said, "meh, so he's slightly savant, could be worse things." Part of me was relieved ... the other part just wanted to crawl into a fetal position, and cry. All I could think was, "For the loveof Maude, woman, don't you understand how exhausting it is to listen to him all freaking day long because seriously woman I really could give a shytocky mushroom about how many cylinders the mustang has or why a ferrari is better than a corvette" *deep breath* I still get the same way now, sometimes. Usually I can only take an hour at a time in the car with him.

Also, do either of yours have music obsessions?

Headmistress of Deprivation - Rants from Mommyland Team

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~~~ Consultant for 31 Gifts, Private Quarters, and Tupperware ~~~

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3/27/11 10:39 A

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YCA - Picard can kick both Spock 's and/or Wharf's butt.

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3/27/11 10:38 A

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Sewing Chic - I will hve to re-thingk my trip to the Shedd Aquarium I think...I can picture him leaping over some barrier to go hug the jellyfish/penguin/dolphin/whale and getting us kicked out or making a visit to the E.R.
Dugie - I wish my son had an interest in sports. At least it would be something different. Of course, do I really want to know who got traded for who in 1974? Ummm, no.
One of the things I have learned about these creative kiddos of ours is that their brains crave consistency. Which explains their love of facts, video games, etc. Facts are facts. They don't change. There is no grey area. Same with video games. The outcome is relatively the same. If you do X, Y happens. Every time. And if you really mess up X you lose a life or the game. Never changes.
Sadly, my son lives with me. And given the day, time and mood I am in I am either very patient. Or not at all. So he has to deal with a lot of grey with me. I am working really hard to not be 'the yelling mom'. It's so hard though. Can you please just put your underwear on? No, not on your head...on your bum. And can you do it within 5 minutes? Please...?

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3/26/11 1:38 P

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The obsession thing drives me batty. Josh's changes with the seasons. In the Fall/ Winter it is Pokemon. He can rattle off the names/ types what not and he rambles incessantly about it. Now he is switching into baseball mode. Which doesn't bother me as bad. He memorizes all of the stats of the players and will watch on TV for hours. He also has a little squishy ball he bounces off the wall and catches in his glove over and over and over. The other day he was watching a world's series game from 1966! WTH? You can tell me Joe Shmoe's batting average from 1983 but you can't learn your spelling words? Really? Sigh...

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3/26/11 12:17 P

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I am staying as far away from Star Wars/Trek for as loong as I can.... I'll take jelly fish any day! My daughter loves marine animals...that was her obsession for a long time (obsessive interest and detail recall is a distinctive Aspie/ADHD trait. Yay for all of us, yes?). I took her to Sea World when she was four, and she was in heaven. Until, that is, she realized that she wasn't going to get to hug Shamu. :(

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3/26/11 9:52 A

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I don't ever remember being fixated on any one object like these guys are, do you? I had interests, but nowhere close to this. I was just starting to get used to the Star Wars obsession when he discovered Star Trek. I really could give a crap less about who would win: Spock vs. Wharf. Seriously.

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3/26/11 8:41 A

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I know exactly how you feel. My son is all about animals, but marine animals most of the time. I have come to loathe jellyfish.

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3/25/11 8:19 P

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Aww, hugs right back at you! It's ridiculously hard to find people to talk to sometimes, isn't it? You might check Yahoo Groups for a local parent forum. I found a thriving one for Asperger's in my area. It's been a huge resource/comfort. I've gotten more information/support/resources there than I ever expected.

My daughter loves dinosaurs, science, and the ocean. Right now she's stuck on the dinosaurs, and I swear I'm going to stab my brain with a pencil if I hear one more amazing dino fact. GAH

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3/25/11 7:14 P

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I am so glad I just found this thread. My son Marty is 7 and a half. Official diagnosis is ADHD combined and GAD. an Asperger's component is probably theree too, but at this time we are not going to pursue that diagnosis. He has been on meds for 2 years and while I hate it, it works for him. But I swear he is realted to Josh and Jack! Marty can't keep his hands off anyone. He wants to be hugged all the time. The kids in his class and his teachers are all very patient, but dude...KEEP. YOUR. HANDS. TO. YOURSELF.
He loves legos, pokemon and star wars. He isn't very adept socially or with small motor skills. I want to hug all of you!!!! I have never had anyone to talk to about this. I lurve you guys.

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3/25/11 1:31 P

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Homeschooling is just something has stuck in the back of my head since Josh started being bullied this year. I try so hard to teach him the skills to deal with it but I just don't think he gets it...yet. We will see what happens I guess. Right now he has an awesome teacher who kicked the bullies butt and got it straightened out. But, they are atill young and a little afraid of the teacher/ principal. I worry when he is older and the kids don't have that fear anymore. It doesn't help that the poor kid only weighs 53 pounds. With shoes on. I think my right calf weighs 53 pounds. Sigh....

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3/25/11 11:15 A

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To add to the madness ... I was just reminded that he still has problems with his left/right. He was trying to give his 4yo sister directions and he kept telling her to go to the right, and she couldn't. She was arguing with him that it was left. It got ugly. But sure enough, she was right and he was wrong. Then began the downward spiral of how much he sucks because she knows more than he does. *sigh* You know, if they would follow the "no fighting" rule, and if they had stopped shouting when I was trying to break it up, this never would have been an issue.

As far as homeschooling goes ... as I've said before, it wasn't an easy decision to make, but once I did, it was the best thing for us. I've met lots of families who just do it for a couple of years. Our original plan had just been for 3 years. Now we're at 5 and have no intention of stopping ;) Jack is definitely a bully target. Keeping him home, we're teaching him ways to handle it instead of letting him get beat up on.

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3/25/11 9:17 A

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I know exactly what you are talking about. Scary, huh???

That;s crazy about the shoe tying/ knot tying thing. It has to be frustrating.

Josh breaks my heart sometimes b/c he relates better to characters on Pokemon than his peers. I honestly think there may be homeschool in his future. I fear the middle school years for him. He is so awkward and is a bully target now in 3rd grade. Thankfully he has an awesome teacher. I know we won't be that lucky all the time. I just pray that he overcomes this and learns how to relate better. Sigh....

"Some people have one of those days, I have one of those lives."
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3/24/11 8:26 P

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Jack has some have this like ... I don't know how to describe it. Hrmmmm.... It's got like a slider thingie, and the laces are kind of bungee-ish. I'm sure that totally cleared things up, right?

But, are you ready for this? He can't tie his shoes, but excels at knots in Scouts. Go ahead, figure it out.

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3/24/11 4:13 P

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No tie laces you say? I need to look into them, I don't him to be 16 and wearing velcro shoes like an old man!!!

Yca...biting back...good idea.

Ugh...kids....

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3/24/11 12:34 P

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I'm a huge fan of the no tie laces. There are some that are for runners that look cool, not springy. The Professor learned to tie her shoes at Target under pressure, and then promptly forgot how :P

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3/24/11 9:57 A

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Dugie, your 9yo sounds just like my 11yo. Well ... except for the fact that Jack doesn't lick or bite. In this house, if a kid bites, Mommy gets to bite back - and Mommy bites hard. But he does have issues tying his shoes. *sigh*

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3/23/11 9:08 P

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I know, right?

"Some people have one of those days, I have one of those lives."
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3/23/11 3:24 P

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Yeah, what is up with the licking?! Yet another thing I never thought I'd say to my young child: "NO TONGUE!"

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3/22/11 1:20 P

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My 9yo has ADHD/ ODD and although not diagnosed he is a little OCD, too. He is on meds, which I hate, but without them, I will hurt him. Sometimes I even wonder about the whole adhd thing, he an play his Nintendo DS for hours on end if I let him but he can't sit through the school day? His biggest issue is impulse control. He is 9 and if the 7yo pi$$es him off,he will bite him! I know siblings beat on each other but biting at 9? Really? The other morning I had to ask "Why did you lick your brother?" Ew. He is also pretty socially inept (he has a hard time making friends and interacting with large groups of kids) and has issues with day to day tasks. He can list all bajillion pokemon and types, but can't tie his shoes. He is super smart and so sweet yet so frustrating!!!!
He also has a speech delay from hearing loss when he was a toddler. He had constant ear infections which the fluid caused a mild hearing deficit. Once we put the tubes in, his hearing went back to "normal" but he was behind in speech. He gets therapy once a week in school and is doing much better but the kids tease him when they can't understand him. Grrrr.

Edited by: DUGIESTONER at: 3/22/2011 (13:24)
"Some people have one of those days, I have one of those lives."
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3/22/11 9:23 A

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Ohhhhhhhh no I had not heard of that - I'll check it out later!!! You are awesome!!

Headmistress of Deprivation - Rants from Mommyland Team

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~~~ Consultant for 31 Gifts, Private Quarters, and Tupperware ~~~

Hearts and minds that are held captive to old paradigms and traditions will never voluntarily leave them.

To the world you're one person ... but to one person, you're the world!


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3/21/11 12:21 P

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LOL!!!! Yes! By the way, have you come across the Social Thinking curriculum? If not, you should check it out. www.socialthinking.com It's brilliant, and helps kids with ASD and other challenges understand and think about what others are thinking and how their own thoughts work. It's used at our school during speech therapy, and has made a big difference.

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3/21/11 8:12 A

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knees to the floor and head to a brick wall - absofreakinglutely!!! xoxo

Headmistress of Deprivation - Rants from Mommyland Team

Co-Leader for the awesome team in beautiful Orlando, Florida!

~~~ Consultant for 31 Gifts, Private Quarters, and Tupperware ~~~

Hearts and minds that are held captive to old paradigms and traditions will never voluntarily leave them.

To the world you're one person ... but to one person, you're the world!


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3/21/11 1:00 A

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As I was reading, I totally thought "hey, those adenoids might be an issue..." because I have a friend who had a similar situation, and after the surgery things got A LOT better. Sleep can fix some funny things. Kids really brings us to our knees, don't they?

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3/21/11 12:06 A

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First of all ... total LOL about being under contract to mention the half - way too funny!

I completely get what you're saying. We are currently hanging on to an "unofficial" diagnosis of Asperger's for Jack - age 11. He's always been ahead of the game in academics, but fine motor skills have always been beyond him, adapting is not working, and he struggles daily. He has some social skills (because I had worked so diligently since birth), but he would much rather shut himself up and play Lego's than deal with anyone ... unless that person is Han Solo or Luke Skywalker.

I say that we're holding at "unofficial" because, due to some stupid insurance issues, it has taken awhile just to get him an appointment to see someone. Then, of course, due to family illness, we've had to put the appointment off again for another month. Hid pediatrician is convinced Asperger's is what it is. He's functioning, but there are some definite trouble spots. He's worried about an over-diagnosis tho ... as is so common these days.

The other side is that we're looking down the barrel sleep apnea, to boot. We had noticed some major sleep issues, so we have a sleep study scheduled next month. The cardiologist that is going to perform the study seems to think the apnea is most probably caused by his adnoids, and we will discuss having them removed. I discussed with her some of the quirks we deal with and she explained that new studies show that apnea can exacerbate all sorts of ADHD / Asperger's / SPD / other miscellaneous things with no names / issues. She is in agreement that we need some counseling and more specific diagnosing for him, but she's optimistic that if the kid could just get some REAL sleep, most of his quirks will be a little easier to deal with. She made a big production about making sure I knew that ripping out his adnoids is not going to make him drop the Lego's and go play football, which I kind of knew, but I was glad she repeated it anyway ... my head needed to hear it. The fact is, he is who he is ... but if we can arm him a little better just by helping him get some sleep? yeah, I'm all over that!

Headmistress of Deprivation - Rants from Mommyland Team

Co-Leader for the awesome team in beautiful Orlando, Florida!

~~~ Consultant for 31 Gifts, Private Quarters, and Tupperware ~~~

Hearts and minds that are held captive to old paradigms and traditions will never voluntarily leave them.

To the world you're one person ... but to one person, you're the world!


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3/20/11 8:13 P

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I'll start the conversation emoticon

I have one child-- The Professor. She's 6 and half (I'm under contract to mention the half), and she's been special since the day she was born. My husband and I thought we had the smartest baby ever. Her development blew us away. But at 4, during her first year of preschool, we noticed that her social behavior hadn't changed since 2. Sharing, verbalising wants and needs (her vocabulary was insanely good, though), and initiating play weren't happening. There had been a few things when she was younger that had concerned us, but they weren't consistent enough for the doctor to order any tests. Her birthday is in September, so she missed the cut off date for starting kindergarten at 5, so we did another year of preschool, but at the public school. Two months into the school year, there was an Incident. The teacher (best teacher ever, by the way) agreed that her behavior was atypical, and suggested that we call the ESD for our district. Six months later we had a diagnosis of Asperger's. We cried a bit, and then put on our grown up pants and started finding out how to help her. We've been very blessed by the team that we work with, and I know that doesn't happen for every family. The Professor is in kindergarten this year, and really progressing, but I always feel like I'm on alert for a problem.

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3/20/11 10:20 A

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Many of us have children that face special challenges ... let's make sure we give a hand up when and where we can ... as well as a shoulder!

Tell your story here!

Headmistress of Deprivation - Rants from Mommyland Team

Co-Leader for the awesome team in beautiful Orlando, Florida!

~~~ Consultant for 31 Gifts, Private Quarters, and Tupperware ~~~

Hearts and minds that are held captive to old paradigms and traditions will never voluntarily leave them.

To the world you're one person ... but to one person, you're the world!


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