This is REALLY embarrassing for someone like me who has been an activist and an advocate and a friend to the trans community for decades, but I am really upset about a friend's husband coming out as wanting to transition from male to female this month.
Not only do his words not match ANY of his actions EVER, and they never have, but he did this in direct response to the triple whammy of her sister dying of a really rare cancer at a young age, his job loss putting their mortgage in crisis, and her asking him to start their family together by making a baby now that she is done with grad school. I am so worried about how profound her grief and depression and stress are right now, and he is definitely not worried about her at all.
This announcement feels really reactive and neurotic to me, and I feel SO ashamed for not feeling supportive or compassionate toward him. It is really upsetting to me that I am upset instead of understanding. I guess I should qualify all of this by admitting that there is nothing I have ever found likable or interesting or worthwhile about him ever: he has always been so self-indulgent, self-centered, inconsiderate, entitled, and disingenuous that he gives me a really creepy vibe, and I have only ever put up with him to spend time with her because she is so intelligent and pleasant and interesting.
I would also like to qualify this by saying that I have close friends in every stage of transition and everywhere on the gender spectrum that I feel wholly supportive and loving toward. I have actively participated in putting together our local Transgender Day of Remembrance for years and years. I swear I am not usually an insensitive jerk, and I feel like SUCH a jerk right now.
“If you just set people in motion they’ll heal themselves.” ~ Gabrielle Roth
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