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MBSHAZZER's Photo MBSHAZZER Posts: 18,401
10/6/10 12:04 P

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My BF was away for 8 days, from a Wednesday to the following Thursday. I was out of town during the weekend in between. Anyway, to make a long story short, the cats were ALL over me prior to the weekend and after I got back. Our male cat, who is not at all "touchy-feely" came to bed with me every night that the BF was away! They were definitely missing him!

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AZMOCHASMOMMY's Photo AZMOCHASMOMMY Posts: 543
10/6/10 10:14 A

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It is definitely NOT abuse to leave cats alone as long as they have food, water, etc. Every cat will react in their own way. My girls are unpredicatable. Sometimes I get the "tail" when we get home and other times they are all over me. My daughter and granddaughter come over every day to check on them and give them attention, but that doesn't seem to alter the reaction when we return. We only leave town a couple of times a year so it does upset their normal routine and they don't like it. Staying in their normal environment is far less stressful to them than taking them somewhere they aren't used to being taken. Many years ago I would take my previous two cats to stay with my Dad. They were best buddies and would fight and just be horrible to 2-3 days when I would drop them off and then again when I would pick them up!

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CELESTELEIGHB's Photo CELESTELEIGHB SparkPoints: (1,799)
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9/28/10 11:26 P

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Punky is an extremely social cat, and she doesn't do well being left alone. Of course, every cat is different, but we need to have a live-in cat sitter come stay at our house when we go on vacation. Otherwise, the poor booger gets so lonely she gets sick! She seems to do fine as long as there's someone to keep her company, though.
Maybe next time you're out of town, you could arrange for someone to visit your house every day, and spend an hour or so with your cat? That might help cut down on stress or loneliness. But it depends on the kitty.

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MSJULES01's Photo MSJULES01 Posts: 3,805
9/8/10 10:33 P

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Each cat is different in there own way.
My sister always says that I have special cats.
We have one older cat that was given to us from one of our friends. One day while we were at work he chewed his tail. We ended up having to take off half of it. He gets needed when the weather changes and he wants a warmer blanket to sleep on.

Julie or Jules

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D_K455's Photo D_K455 Posts: 4,002
9/8/10 2:51 P

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One of our cats if you leave the room, will cry for you, if she leaves the room and thinks that you don't know where she is, she will cry for you. She can even walk away a few steps and will cry for you because she can't see you.

I have another one that goes through streaks of the contstantly on your lap then he won't come near you.

It all depends on your cat and their personality.

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SHORTCAKE48 Posts: 278
9/3/10 2:30 P

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I think it is just a reaction to your being gone. I have two cats and one acts like she is so needy all the time. the other one is fine and "lets" me pet her when she deems it.

I always worry about them when I leave too, but they seem to be fine. Truth be told, they probably sleep the whole time I am gone!

Don't worry, she's just trying to tell you how much she missed you.

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DASARMEHASEN's Photo DASARMEHASEN Posts: 350
8/24/10 6:15 P

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Glad I read this thread, since cats seem to be very different. And, I think our new kitten is going to be the needy kind. Hubby is out of town right now and she barely lets me out of her sight!

Anyway, before having our own cat we would usually cat-sit for the in-laws. And regardless of whether we stayed at their place, had the cat at ours, or just popped in a few times (depending on the length of their trip and our work schedules) - their cat always gives them the snub for a few days after they return.

I don't think it's necessarily that they are bored or lonely. It's just how they react to changes in routine.

And as for getting another cat... I agree with Michelleejk. In-laws' cat is a territorial bully and wouldn't tolerate another cat on 'her' property!

I don't think you abused your cat at all.

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MICHELLENRGZED's Photo MICHELLENRGZED SparkPoints: (26,373)
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8/20/10 6:16 P

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Sacred Amulet, you did NOT abuse your cat in any way by leaving him alone. Your mom did check in on him, &, really, as most others have said, I think he was just very happy to see you & your hubby when you returned. Dublin's exactly the same when I've been gone for several hours, let alone overnight. Some cats are just like that, while others ignoring their people when they return. It sounds like he's perfectly healthy otherwise. I'd say just put it down to missing you.

Someone mentioned getting another cat for company - as NellieC said, not every cat can live with other cats. I know that Dublin couldn't. I don't even know how he'd be if another human lived here, although I suspect he'd be fine with another person. Some cats are just true loners through & through, at least when it comes to other cats or animals. So getting another cat, or even another animal, is not the answer for every cat.

Blessings,
Michelle :)


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SACREDAMULET's Photo SACREDAMULET Posts: 3,256
8/20/10 2:50 P

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I'm totally not some kind of cat abuser! My parents used to leave the cats with just an in and out cat sitter for up to 4 days at a time when I was a kid. My mom wouldn't have looked in on N'Bus if she thought I was abusing him in any way. That's what I was taught is normal. If I thought that he'd be traumatized, I wouldn't have done it. Our cats when I was a kid were totally fine. They seemed to be miffed, but weren't traumatized.

The next time I need to leave I'll board him, or take him to be with my mom. I thought that him leaving would traumatize him more than me leaving, so that's why I kept him home and didn't take him somewhere anyway.

LUVMYSELF1ST- I love the pic of your cat! He/she looks just like my N'Bus. He's all black, with a bit of white on the belly. (N'Bus is for Anubus, the Egyptian god of the afterlife. He's called that because he's black and the god is depicted as being a black jackal).

It's so funny how different cats react to us being gone for an hour or day, or a few days. As I said, my cats when I was a kid were fine with us being gone, however were miffed when we came home. Maybe that was because they had each other, whereas my current cat is an only cat. ???

Anyway, to the poster who views me as a cat abuser, I don't think so. It's not abuse to leave an independent animal by himself for a few days, especially if he's being looked-in on and played with for awhile. Now that I've seen his reaction, which is individual for each cat, I'll see if he reacts better to being boarded, with my mom, or with more visits in the future. I'll find some way to make him comfortable and happy. He didn't react how cats in the past have reacted to being left alone. I wasn't expecting this. Now that I know how he reacts, I won't do it. That's not abusing the cat. Now that we're home he's getting plenty of love. Today though he's back to his normal behavior, so hasn't been traumatized for life.

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KARATE_KID's Photo KARATE_KID SparkPoints: (57,509)
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8/20/10 8:17 A

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That's a bit harsh. Every cat is different, and not everybody can have multiple pets. Sounds like this was the first time OP left her cat alone. They don't seem like abusers; I'm sure they're learning from the experience.


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NOSKINNY's Photo NOSKINNY SparkPoints: (5,564)
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8/19/10 11:34 P

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z

Edited by: NOSKINNY at: 9/5/2010 (23:21)
"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." -Dale Carnegie


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KITTY1970's Photo KITTY1970 Posts: 5,005
8/19/10 11:20 P

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He'll probably the latter. It'll take a couple of weeks but he give you some space.

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LUVMYSELF1ST's Photo LUVMYSELF1ST Posts: 16
8/19/10 9:25 P

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You're lucky - Pancho gives me the cold shoulder for a day or so when I return from a trip (he'll let me pick him up, but he'll turn his face away from me). Janie is more connected to my boyfriend, so she ignores him (when he returned from his college reunion, she walked into the kitchen, saw that he was in there and very slowly walked back out again).

"You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars, regardless of who you are" - Nickleback (If Today Was Your Last Day)


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KARATE_KID's Photo KARATE_KID SparkPoints: (57,509)
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8/19/10 8:08 P

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I agree he just missed you. What a sweet guy! My cats used to sit very pointedly with their backs turned to us when we returned from trips. Mimi even bit me once - hard! I would have taken cuddling over THAT! emoticon


It may seem difficult at first, but everything is difficult at first.
-Miyamoto Musashi

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JAYJAY44's Photo JAYJAY44 Posts: 6,824
8/19/10 3:44 P

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My husband and I just returned from a family reunion weekend and left BOO! alone for the first time since he's been with us. A neighbor's son looked in on him while we were away but I worried about him the whole 4 days we were away!

When we returned BOO! was the first thing we saw when we opened the door; all was well. Since we've been back, he's constantly under foot. When my husband's in the house, BOO! never sleeps and follows me from room to room. When my husband leaves for work, BOO! quiets down and sleeps practically all day! We had broken him of the habit of scratching at our bedroom door at night but now he's back to doing that wanting to get in.

I think it's because he actually missed us and when he realizes we're not going anywhere, he'll go back to his normal routine. He's even started jumping into my lap to be cuddled.

I don't think anything is wrong with our cats. They have a connection with us and miss us when we're gone and happy when we return, just like children!

Jane



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LADYMOONWILLOW's Photo LADYMOONWILLOW Posts: 7,479
8/19/10 3:41 P

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Cleo tends to ignore us for a while when we return, well, me anyway...she will still run to daddy and show belly to have it rubbed...silly cat, and I'm the one that feeds her.

Live each day as tho it's your last.
Linda






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MBSHAZZER's Photo MBSHAZZER Posts: 18,401
8/19/10 3:29 P

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The first few times we left the kids for short periods, they ignored us when we returned.

However, we went away for a week in April with both of our parents. The kids usually hide when strangers come to the house, but they were so missing us, they came out with the folks in the house and even let my dad and the BF's mom pet them.

So, I think your baby just missed you!

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts" - Winston Churchill

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IZZYBEBOP's Photo IZZYBEBOP Posts: 12,813
8/19/10 3:09 P

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Since we've had Izzy and BeBop (going on 2 years), we haven't left for more than part of a day. With Gidget, who has since passed, when we'd go on vacation and come home, she'd pretty much ignore us for a while. I wonder what it will be like when we do go on a vacation how Izzy & BeBop will react when we get home. Also, they're very timid around strangers, and only my daughter, mother and MIL will they come out.

when we had workers doing things on the house, and they were men, is when they (mainly BeBop) started hiding when a male would come in the house. So we'll have to make sure it's a female who takes care of them. I know I'll just worry myself to pieces when we do go on a vacation. It'll be like when I left my children for the first time.

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DAKOTANMISTY's Photo DAKOTANMISTY Posts: 4,208
8/19/10 2:47 P

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Is that the first time you left him? IMO, I think kitty is happy that you came home, not having anyone in the home for 3 days upset him. Even tho' kitties are independent, they get accustomed to schedule....he wants to let you know that he missed you, and probably thinks, if he acts needy, you won't leave him again.

If his eating and sleeping habits have changed, then I would take him to the Vet.

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ROBINFAITH's Photo ROBINFAITH Posts: 1,322
8/19/10 2:45 P

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I think he missed you a lot!!! Is he eating,drinking, using the litter box normally? He is probably fine. You may want to call the vets and ask if this can be normal.
I know it is for some of my animals. My dog is one I can leave for 5 minutes and she is whining and all over me for a longtime. I have a few cats like that also. They meow instead of whining.
I think your cat loves you very much. See I don't get out much ): My animals expect me to be here at their beck and call. It does concern me. I feel like even if I wanted to go away I couldn't. My dog has health issues and I couldn't board her.
Robin

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GLADGAD's Photo GLADGAD Posts: 5,588
8/19/10 2:44 P

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It's a reaction to you being gone. Cats like routine and consistency and you leaving kind of messed that up for him. Once he realizes everything is back to normal, he'll go back to his old self.

-Carolyn

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SACREDAMULET's Photo SACREDAMULET Posts: 3,256
8/19/10 2:29 P

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My husband and I went on vacation for 3 days and left our cat at home. He was visited once by my mother to make sure his box was clean, that he was okay with food and water, and to play with him a bit.

When we came home he ran right to us. He now won't leave me alone. It's been several days since we've been back, and he's just so needy. This is fine by me, however I'm kind of concerned.

Do you think it's a health issue, or just his reaction to having been left alone for a few days? I hope I didn't traumatize him. emoticon

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