Sorry for jumping into an old thread, but yes, trying again and being pregnant again after a loss is STRESSFUL... you want so much for it be over as quickly as possible so you can have that little baby safe in your arms.
I suppose if you are finding yourself too stressed that you can't relax and enjoy life, you and your hubby might consider talking to a counsellor.
"How does one become a butterfly?... "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."
Pounds lost: 4.0
Fitness Minutes: (28,621) Posts: 74 10/24/12 2:02 A
I lost my daughter only last week - at 39 weeks. I delivered vaginally but was given the discharge information as though I had had a c-section. I thought I couldn't try again for 6 months. Today I went to the doctor and she said that we could try in 6 weeks. I am feeling something more than excitement for that - desperation, almost. I was so close to holding my daughter, and I feel a little crazed to be pregnant again. My husband was all about the 6 month mark, but now that it's only 6 weeks away, he wants us to get healthier and lose weight. I am struggling with this desperation - the thought of having another baby feels like the only thing getting me through this.
"Optimism is the foundation of courage." Nicholas Murray Butler. My goals: Healthy baby, healthy baby, healthy baby.
current weight: 186.5
Fitness Minutes: (34,249) Posts: 840 10/13/12 5:12 P
I can relate exactly. My husband was the same way as yours and I was the same way as you after we got pregnant for the 2nd time after our first loss. Honestly, the next time I get pregnant after this 2nd loss, I already know that I'm not goin to feel excited AT ALL. I actually got excited the 2nd time, but was cautiously excited. The 3rd try, however, I already know that I'll feel only nervousness after 2 consecutive losses. I think the only real advice I can give is try to be patient, take it all one day at a time and talk about your feelings with someone--if not your husband, a relative or close friend or counselor. I will do well to remember my own advice for the next time. Take care and best of luck!
I know this feed is a few months old, but I relate so much right now. I'm 6 weeks pregnant after a miscarriage in July and most days I feel consumed by worry that I will miscarry again. My DH, as supportive as he is, doesn't seem to get it and is back to being excited and optimistic but I'm struggling to move past the lost and get excited about something new. Hearing your success stories is the one thing that makes me believe I can have a healthy pregnancy this time around. Only time will tell.
I wasn't able to completely let go of the stress, and that was ok. You kind of have to accept the fact that it's going to be more stressful for you to be pregnant than some blithely happy person who's never had a miscarriage or stillbirth. But it is totally worth it in the end, and there are things you can do to help keep stress levels down -- talk with your partner (a lot!), keep a journal of your thoughts and emotions, get enough exercise (if possible when you're pregnant -- I ended up swimming 5x a week to help cope with the stress), eat and sleep well. Also, the doctors tend to be really understanding of people who've had losses -- we lost our daughter at 20 weeks, and I got really nervous right around the 16-22 week mark. I think we went in twice to have her doppler-ed, and they were super nice about it. Anyhow, I was nervous the entire pregnancy, but I tried really hard to accept that I was nervous and yet not to let that nervous-ness overtake me, and just to look at things as rationally and calmly as I could. It's not easy though. It gets a bit better when the baby starts kicking (I did kick counts religiously, like 5x a day!).
current weight: 171.2
Fitness Minutes: (37) Posts: 5 1/1/12 4:32 A
I lost twin sons last year in the NICU. They were 1 and 2 days old when they died. They died horrible, painful deaths. One died of repeat heart attacks and his lungs collapsing repeatably. The other died of a grade 4 brain bleed. I saw both of them die right in front of my eyes. They were born at 23 weeks due to my water breaking. I never got to hold them or see their faces without cpap machines until after they had died. They were so small when they were born that their eyes were still sealed shut. I never got to see them open. I never got to hear them cry. I still remember what it felt like to hold them and feel their bodies grow stiff and cold. I literally can still feel them in my arms and can still smell their skin.
11 weeks after they died I got pregnant with my now 5 month old son. What happened to me was likely to happen again, but I took the risk and it paid off. The pregnancy was not planned. It actually happened at a time in my life when I thought I could no longer go on living.
My pregnancy with him was very, VERY hard. I had my cervix stitched shut and was on strict bedrest. I wasn't allowed to do anything. No sex. No getting out of bed longer than what it took to go to the bathroom. No NOTHING. I battled preterm labor. I was in the hospital constantly hooked up to IV fluids and being given medication to stop contractions. I was in my doctors office several times a week for stress testing. I eventually developed preeclampsia and almost had a stroke. I had him at 34 weeks. He spent 2 days in the NICU and came home with me when I was discharged from the hospital.
If being a parent is something that you want, you just have to go for it. I too have had many miscarriages and each and every one of them broke my heart. But you CAN do it. Take the leap and I PROMISE you it will pay off.
Edited by: MRSLOMBARDI2010 at: 1/1/2012 (04:33)
current weight: 218.8
Fitness Minutes: (34,232) Posts: 1,147 10/30/10 12:23 A
I'm so sorry for you losses. My first, a son named Avery Jace, was stillborn when I was 34 weeks 2 days pregnant. No reason was ever determined for his death. All tests and the autopsy came back normal. He would have turned 4 this year. We decided to try shortly after losing Avery and our daughter was due on Avery's first b-day but came a week early because I was induced. I was so nervous and afraid, but just tried to take it one day at a time. I had another boy in 2009 and am expecting another due in May. I'm so freaked everyday, but do my best to just enjoy each second. Good luck and I hope you are pregnant soon!
History: My husband and I tried to have a baby in 2007. Well after 2 miscarriages back to back I couldn't handle it anymore and we stopped. I took the time to lose weight (I was over 200 lbs then) and I went back to school.
I'm almost to my goal weight and I graduate college in December. So we've decided it's finally the right time to try again.. BUT I'm soooo nervous and stressed.
How do you let go of the stress? My OB says that since I've already lost so much weight I may have fixed myself, since they could never find anything wrong.
We've been trying for 2 months now.. I know it may take a while since I was on BC but my husband is starting to get nervous because the other two pregnancies were literally immediate. I stopped taking it and 3 weeks later I was pregnant. So now he's starting to get nervous and it just adds to mine...
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