If I can do it, anyone can.
I lost twin sons last year in the NICU. They were 1 and 2 days old when they died. They died horrible, painful deaths. One died of repeat heart attacks and his lungs collapsing repeatably. The other died of a grade 4 brain bleed. I saw both of them die right in front of my eyes. They were born at 23 weeks due to my water breaking. I never got to hold them or see their faces without cpap machines until after they had died. They were so small when they were born that their eyes were still sealed shut. I never got to see them open. I never got to hear them cry. I still remember what it felt like to hold them and feel their bodies grow stiff and cold. I literally can still feel them in my arms and can still smell their skin.
11 weeks after they died I got pregnant with my now 5 month old son. What happened to me was likely to happen again, but I took the risk and it paid off. The pregnancy was not planned. It actually happened at a time in my life when I thought I could no longer go on living.
My pregnancy with him was very, VERY hard. I had my cervix stitched shut and was on strict bedrest. I wasn't allowed to do anything. No sex. No getting out of bed longer than what it took to go to the bathroom. No NOTHING. I battled preterm labor. I was in the hospital constantly hooked up to IV fluids and being given medication to stop contractions. I was in my doctors office several times a week for stress testing. I eventually developed preeclampsia and almost had a stroke. I had him at 34 weeks. He spent 2 days in the NICU and came home with me when I was discharged from the hospital.
If being a parent is something that you want, you just have to go for it. I too have had many miscarriages and each and every one of them broke my heart. But you CAN do it. Take the leap and I PROMISE you it will pay off.
Edited by: MRSLOMBARDI2010 at: 1/1/2012 (04:33)
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