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HOUNDLOVER1's Photo HOUNDLOVER1 Posts: 7,980
12/15/11 10:40 P

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Ouch! Ouch! That hurts! emoticon

You can talk to God all you want and that's great, but the changes happen when you start listening to him.

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN OTHERS.




 Body Fat %: 18.1
 
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CAROLJEAN64's Photo CAROLJEAN64 Posts: 11,344
12/15/11 9:12 P

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Red walks into a store. Curious about a shiny object, she asks,
"What is that?"
The store clerk responds, "It's a thermos."
Red then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk says, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
So she buys one.
The next day, she brings it to work with her. Her boss asks,
"What is that shiny object?"
She replies "It's a thermos."
He asks, "What does it do?"
She says, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
He then asks, "What do you have in there?"
"Two cups of coffee and a popsicle."

Lost 65 lbs and maintained since 2006.


 current weight: 10.0  over
 
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DEBBYFROMMT's Photo DEBBYFROMMT SparkPoints: (138,091)
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Posts: 5,850
12/15/11 3:45 P

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What's green and sings?







Elvis Parsley

Debby


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DEBBYFROMMT's Photo DEBBYFROMMT SparkPoints: (138,091)
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12/15/11 3:44 P

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We always had pickled herring at New Year's. My Grandma was very German

Debby


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CAROLJEAN64's Photo CAROLJEAN64 Posts: 11,344
12/15/11 3:02 P

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I apologize ahead of time, but my family's Swedish Christmas always included pickled herring.


A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing.


Lost 65 lbs and maintained since 2006.


 current weight: 10.0  over
 
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KANOE10's Photo KANOE10 Posts: 4,333
12/15/11 6:51 A

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Very funny jokes. I liked them.

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HOUNDLOVER1's Photo HOUNDLOVER1 Posts: 7,980
12/13/11 9:10 P

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Lovely! emoticon



You can talk to God all you want and that's great, but the changes happen when you start listening to him.

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN OTHERS.




 Body Fat %: 18.1
 
23.6
21.7
19.8
17.9
16
CAROLJEAN64's Photo CAROLJEAN64 Posts: 11,344
12/13/11 3:48 P

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That's great....exactly what my kids would have said!

Lost 65 lbs and maintained since 2006.


 current weight: 10.0  over
 
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ELAINEROSE5's Photo ELAINEROSE5 Posts: 445
12/13/11 2:26 P

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Little Johnny and his family lived in the country, and as a result seldom had guests. He was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office.

When the dinner was nearly over, Little Johnny went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father who passed it to a guest. Little Johnny came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest.

This was too much for Little Johnny, who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size."


-Race for Womens Health 5K 4/30/11 33:41
-Women's Distance Festival 5K 5/22/11 31:36
-Howard County Police Pace 5K 9/11/11 29:43
-Flemmington Turkey Troy 5K 11/24/11 31:28
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HOUNDLOVER1's Photo HOUNDLOVER1 Posts: 7,980
12/13/11 1:58 P

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Only if you are a meat eater. emoticon

Birgit

You can talk to God all you want and that's great, but the changes happen when you start listening to him.

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN OTHERS.




 Body Fat %: 18.1
 
23.6
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19.8
17.9
16
CAROLJEAN64's Photo CAROLJEAN64 Posts: 11,344
12/13/11 12:22 P

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Two vultures approached the gate at the airport each with two dead animals. They were refused entrance to the plane.
Are you ready for this????
Only one carrion allowed per passenger.

Is that a food joke?

Lost 65 lbs and maintained since 2006.


 current weight: 10.0  over
 
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-7.5
-15
ELAINEROSE5's Photo ELAINEROSE5 Posts: 445
12/13/11 7:30 A

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Since my mother-in-law just sent me two big boxes of sugar items, I'm just gonna say funny!!! UGH!

-Race for Womens Health 5K 4/30/11 33:41
-Women's Distance Festival 5K 5/22/11 31:36
-Howard County Police Pace 5K 9/11/11 29:43
-Flemmington Turkey Troy 5K 11/24/11 31:28
-Warrior Dash Mechanicsville MD 5/19/12 Survived
-Rememberance Run 5/28/12 31:02
CAROLJEAN64's Photo CAROLJEAN64 Posts: 11,344
12/12/11 10:45 P

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LOL!!!

Lost 65 lbs and maintained since 2006.


 current weight: 10.0  over
 
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-7.5
-15
DEBBYFROMMT's Photo DEBBYFROMMT SparkPoints: (138,091)
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12/12/11 10:10 P

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That is funny! emoticon

Debby


9 Days until:  Montana Island Challenge
 
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HOUNDLOVER1's Photo HOUNDLOVER1 Posts: 7,980
12/12/11 10:04 P

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Two cannibals were sitting by a fire and one says, "Gee, I hate my mother-in-law."
And the other says, "So, try the potatoes."

You can talk to God all you want and that's great, but the changes happen when you start listening to him.

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN OTHERS.




 Body Fat %: 18.1
 
23.6
21.7
19.8
17.9
16
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