Posts: 5,374
12/15/11 10:40 P

Ouch! Ouch! That hurts!

Body Fat %: 20.0

23.6 22.2 20.8 19.4

18

Posts: 9,882
12/15/11 9:12 P

Red walks into a store. Curious about a shiny object, she asks,
"What is that?"
The store clerk responds, "It's a thermos."
Red then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk says, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
So she buys one.
The next day, she brings it to work with her. Her boss asks,
"What is that shiny object?"
She replies "It's a thermos."
He asks, "What does it do?"
She says, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
He then asks, "What do you have in there?"
"Two cups of coffee and a popsicle."

current weight: 7.0  over

10 5 0 -5

-10

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Posts: 3,750
12/15/11 3:45 P

What's green and sings?







Elvis Parsley

76 Maintenance Weeks

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80

SparkPoints: (76,216)
Fitness Minutes: (54,344)
Posts: 3,750
12/15/11 3:44 P

We always had pickled herring at New Year's. My Grandma was very German

76 Maintenance Weeks

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80

Posts: 9,882
12/15/11 3:02 P

I apologize ahead of time, but my family's Swedish Christmas always included pickled herring.


A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing.

current weight: 7.0  over

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-10

Posts: 2,700
12/15/11 6:51 A

Very funny jokes. I liked them.

current weight: 3.0  over

5 2.5 0 -2.5

-5

Posts: 5,374
12/13/11 9:10 P

Lovely!

Body Fat %: 20.0

23.6 22.2 20.8 19.4

18

Posts: 9,882
12/13/11 3:48 P

That's great....exactly what my kids would have said!

current weight: 7.0  over

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-10

Posts: 416
12/13/11 2:26 P

Little Johnny and his family lived in the country, and as a result seldom had guests. He was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office.

When the dinner was nearly over, Little Johnny went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father who passed it to a guest. Little Johnny came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest.

This was too much for Little Johnny, who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size."

Posts: 5,374
12/13/11 1:58 P

Only if you are a meat eater.

Birgit

Body Fat %: 20.0

23.6 22.2 20.8 19.4

18

Posts: 9,882
12/13/11 12:22 P

Two vultures approached the gate at the airport each with two dead animals. They were refused entrance to the plane.
Are you ready for this????
Only one carrion allowed per passenger.

Is that a food joke?

current weight: 7.0  over

10 5 0 -5

-10

Posts: 416
12/13/11 7:30 A

Since my mother-in-law just sent me two big boxes of sugar items, I'm just gonna say funny!!! UGH!

Posts: 9,882
12/12/11 10:45 P

LOL!!!

current weight: 7.0  over

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12/12/11 10:10 P

That is funny!

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Posts: 5,374
12/12/11 10:04 P

Two cannibals were sitting by a fire and one says, "Gee, I hate my mother-in-law."
And the other says, "So, try the potatoes."

Body Fat %: 20.0

23.6 22.2 20.8 19.4

18