Char posted this on another thread. Many helpful ideas, so she gave me permission to post it here too.
Lee, if I had it to do over, and believe me I never want to relive that part of my life, I would have made a list of all the things he did for me. I would certainly make sure I thanked him for doing those things and would tell him how much I appreciated him taking care of them.
I would make it specific with nothing being to small a thing to put on that list.
For me it would have been.
1. Sewing the pocket back on my heavy winter coat for me when he was in the hospital because he asked to do it and wanted to do something for me. He was used to taking care of me and it was hard for him when it became the other way around.
2. Taking care of my foot which is hard for me to reach when I sometimes get a cut that my Reynauds makes difficult to cure.
3. Finding my glasses for me when I would lose them.
4. Knowing how and taking care of connecting my computer and all the hardware and software that goes with it, monitor, printer, DVD drive, speakers, batter back up, etc. I wish I had asked and paid more attention on this.
5. Knowing where and how our power, electric, etc. comes into the house and what is plugged in where, which breakers cut off what part of the house, etc.
6. I needed to ask what amperage system we had to our house and if it is sufficient for the needs of what we were running or if I added anything would it cause a problems.
7. Also I needed to know how the electric was hooked up to the well, and outbuildings on our property.
8. How to fix the toilet if it doesn't flush?
9. How to prepare for zero degree weather to keep the pipes from freezing.
10. What pet meds we used and needed to keep on hand and where he bought them. (brand names, how much, what the pet meds we had on hand did and why he chose that particular brand or treatment?)
11. How do I access the attic and what is up there?
12. I would thank him for all of the carpentry work he did and general maintenance along those lines, and would thank him for the tools he left me to do the work I am able do in order to save money.
13. I would have asked him to start making the things that would be difficult for me to do easy before he passed away rather than me having to fix them later so that they would be easier for me to do.
14. I would thank him for keeping the house warm in the winter and knowing how to light pilot lights and set the temperature on the water heater and wish I had asked him to show me how to do these things while he was still here.
15. I would ask where he kept his tools, batteries, battery chargers for tools, car batteries, etc.
16.I would ask how the phones are wired into and plugged in inside our house.
17. I would ask what those little noises a car made meant and what was important for me to look and listen for before it wound up costing me a lot of money.
18. I would ask him what kind of motor oil he used, and because he had more than one mechanic which one did the best job for him on what automotive problems, as well as their phone numbers.
19. I would ask him how to turn off the power to the house and how to turn off the water to the house.
20. I would ask how to fix a leaky faucet.
21. I would ask how to maintain things around the house and what things I should check regularly and when I should check them to see if they need maintenance.
22. I wish I had asked him when he got new tires, when he last got a new battery, how long the warranties are on both, and where he kept receipts on things that were under warranty. Also, I would ask when the tags are due on the vehicles, what is listed on our property tax.
23. I would ask him to show me how to do taxes or who I should get to do taxes for me,
24. I would ask about the sewer system and what we had to unclog drains and toilets.
25. I would definitely ask about the insurance we had for cars, home owners, life, etc,
26. I would ask about all accounts and account no. and any savings, CDs, IRAs, etc.
27. I wish I could thank him a hundred times over for making sure that everything was in both of our names jointly so that everything would automatically pass on to me as owner. I am so glad my husband did this for me and anyone anticipating an end of life situation should make sure they have taken care of these things.
28. Making sure, if you have a will, that you also have all the information concerning the lawyer, etc. and how to reach him/her.
29. I would have him locate and all the keys in all the drawers and everywhere around the house as well as on the key chains and identify each one of them as to what they belong to and if you still own what they belong to.
30. My husband took care of all his funeral arrangements down to the songs he wanted sung, who he wanted to preach his funeral, where we would be buried, etc. If you can bring yourself to get these things out of the way it will be so much easier.
My husband did a lot of these things for me, but some were left out on the financial end, the odds and ends and little things department, like how to hook up the computer and peripherals, and all the other "guy" stuff that neither he nor I even thought about. I also found a lot keys that I haven't a clue about as to what they are to or if we even own what they were made to access. I also wish I knew what some of the tools and gadgets he left me are and how they are used.
I am sure I am leaving a lot of questions to ask out, but I hope some of this helps. I wish I had asked a lot more than I did and at the time it just never occurred to us.
Edited by: CINDERRELIC at: 4/19/2011 (18:42)
| Pounds lost: 8.0