|Author:||Sorting Last Post on Top ↓ Message:|
It was really interesting reading everyone's different stories...proud of you all for making a change :)
My story dates back to my childhood, like many others'. My dad was diagnosed with ALS(Lou Gehrig's disease) when I wasn't a year old yet. He died when I was 7. Throughout that experience, my mother was incredibly strong and took care of him through every step, but that was so demanding that she didn't really have time to cook. Fast foods and junk food were a staple. I didn't learn portion control or eating healthy. My mother, who had been thin her entire life, began to put on weight. And still puts on weight. And to this day I hear "Oh, I'm gaining so much weight, I've gotta stop"....but she does nothing. I never saw anyone really exercise. I never saw her try to take care of herself.
so I learned. but I don't blame her. If I can be half the woman my mother is, homeschooling my brother, taking care of a little kid and taking care of her paralyzed husband, then I'll be happy. However, the awesome thing about being an individual in this world is that we can learn and teach ourselves and make our own experiences, and that's what I'm doing. I'm learning a new lifestyle, taking on new traditions to integrate into who I am, so that when I have a family of my own someday, I can show my children what it means to take care of yourself and how important it is.
I know this is an older post, but a good one nevertheless. I endured a lot of physical and sexual abuse from a very early age. By the age of reason, I thought it was my fault and started to binge eat to comfort myself. It wasn't until I was 27 that I got therapy, and was able to stop the binge eating. I can still overeat, but I am a recovered binge eater.
It didn't help that my mother went through a similar thing as a child, and had eating issues of her own. The whole family revolved around food.
We ate too many carbs (the bad kind, too) which just fueled our desire to eat even more. The first half of the family is skinny for the most part, and the last half of the family are all large. I am the last person alive in the last half of the family. If I hadn't made changes in my eating, I'd be gone by now too.
The family system declined and became worse over time, and the older kids had already left home. However, the older kids still have their own issues, even if they aren't weight related.
I still think I was born in a good family though, as all families are messed up, some more than others.
As you can probably tell, I am a layperson.
Edited by: BECCABOO127 at: 2/12/2012 (15:43)
Try harder--in everything that you do!
If the mind mends, the body will follow.
Gluten free is working for me!
"I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'" --Kurt Vonnegut
I grew up watching my mother and sisters engage with their various eating disorders as though they were pets of personality- truly seemed to define them as individuals (Mother is the one who eats because she doesn't like her voice yet can't seem to stay quiet and accept things, Sister#1 is the one who inhales food and keeps her head down, working too hard and never enjoying it, Sister #2 is the one who binges and indulges and parties like crazy and then throws it all up to stay the thin blonde perky cheerleader, Sister #3 is the one who undervalues herself, serves others, and rewards her virtue with dessert upon dessert).
I have had a difficult time finding my individuality in general and often felt as though I was a chameleon, trying on one sister, then the other, with a dash of Mother, etc. Yet I wanted to be recognized as one of the boys. My brothers didn't accept me as one of them at all.
So, the combination of body/ gender incongruence, solid doses of problematic eating behaviors modeled in my childhood, and some pretty hefty anxiety/ depression issues has resulted in a life in which I am able to cope fairly well by using strategies that promote my health... until I can't. And then that all-or-nothing stuff happens, I give up, and I just want to hide under mounds of escapism, which includes food but not movement.
"Your silence will not protect you"
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house."
---Audre Lorde, American hero
I received the message as a young child that:
1-I need to be strong, protect myself, trust no one and be wary of men. Hence be beautiful but not "toooo beautiful" or sexy.
2- I am "too much" too loud, too passionate, too boisterous, too direct, too aggressive, toooooo smart for men, etc. I teetered between one extreme or the other.
3- That food is a reward - we received "stuff" at night if we were "good"
4- That I should be beautiful and sweet and passive like my mom.
All of these message and more translated into excess- over shopping (retail therapy), over eating & binging or diet pill binging, or saying I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS I WILL EAT WHAT I WANT! I deserve to eat what I want when I want! There was no accountability for myself or health because it wasn't valued in my home. My father is very tall 6'9 and obese and my mother continues to shovel food in his mouth that is unhealthy because he demands it- there is soo much enabling....so far I am gathering that:
I deserve to be healthy, beautiful and I will not attract unwanted sexual attention if I set boundaries an d I can be safe.
I deserve to be heard and seen
It is ok that I am a big or tall girl I can not change my stature
It is ok to be smart and pretty and people will love or reject me- but it's their stuff
That food will not NOT fill that hole that is filled with pain and sadness.
I choose peace instead of this.
In 2013, I am Claiming abundant health, abundant wealth, and abundant energy.
1. I was very underweight as a toddler, so I think I got the message from my family that eating was a "matter of life and death"
2. Utter denial about how much I'm putting in my mouth if I don't pay attention
3. The unbelievable power of food to comfort me when I'm stressed, angry, etc.
Mistakes are the portals of discovery. - James Joyce
I never had to think about what I ate until after I had children and hit my thirties. It has taken 15-20 years for me to begin to accept that I have to pay attention to this - I still resist the idea (and the doing).
There is a big part of me that wants to "just live" - but a bigger part of me wants to feel good about what she sees in the mirror....It's probably easier to change what I eat than what I see, but I probably need to work on both.
Be gentle towards all that is unsolved in your heart, and try to love the questions themselves --Rilke
It's never too late to be or do what you might have been or done!
Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different---MEZZOANGEL
Team Leader/Co-leader for Central MA Sparkers!, THIS is What a Feminist Looks Like, Eastern Star, and Psychologists et al. team
i showed off as a child with an overweight father and brother father was so proud i could eat so much and stay skinny,it was the only attention i got from him.(childhood.When i married still showed off in same way for attentionafter first baby slim as usual right after birth after second baby and a family of half overweights that loved to feed me i was ok until second daughters physical disabilitycircumstances).with husband working nights and sleeping days i had such loneliness food was my comfort..a su8gar addiction i was unaware of kept me at 227 lbs for 20-30 years miserable hurt unattractive and ashamed.I lost weight going back to college first the medical field and then the psycologyas more interested in the thoughts and feelings of others then the physical aspects of the brain etc(knowledge0 serotonin effects of etc.AS i had been a Christian i felt overwhelmed when i realized i had used food instead of God as my conforter i came down with His guidence to now a size 14 pants from a size 26 when i don't stumble and fall i was a size 6 until sickness hit me and could not exersice which thanks to God i can again i am hoping to be in 12s soon(spirital) .Learn all you can,find comfort in God,love yourself and others make healthy choices don't eat or act to show off or please others rebacca7
I am leader o fFood and Sugar Addiction Team -lead food and sugar addiction team. Please write to me i am here to help you over come this addiction any way i can.All are welcome to join this challenge rebacca7
DO MY BEST, TRUST GOD FOR THE REST obedience is JOY and forgiveness is JOY and love is ............................ JOY GOD "s joy my see am i a food addict scrool to m
It all started with bad habits dating back to childhood......the idea that exercise was something rich people did....no fresh fruits & veggies (poor southern diet)....no breakfast or lunch (& studies show...). So, I went into adulthood already having spent most of my life overweight (with a brief "fit" period during/following military school). As an adult, I've lived a mostly sedentary lifestyle. I skipped breakfast & lunch for years (out of habit) & then ate heavy dinners. I was in denial; I thought that I didn't eat that much since I only ate dinner, but I was discounting the impact of all of the lattes. And I was discounting how many calories my "heavy" dinners had! All being said, I think I became overweight from ignorance. I had to take the time to learn about health (nutrition & activity), & I had to learn to live differently than anyone I really knew.
My whole family & almost all of my in-laws still turn up their noses at anything resembling health. My mother, stepmother, mother-in-law, stepdad, & foster dad are all morbidly, morbidly, morbidly obese, & my dad & foster mother are probably considered obese or severely obese. Then there are aunts, uncles, cousins..... They ALL tend to eat what they want, when they want, & how much they want...& lead sedentary lifestyles. When they have health problems, they get prescription after prescription, but for some reason, their ailments never motivate them to get healthy. They just keep waiting for some pill to fix them. I don't want to live that way. Luckily, I've never had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or been in danger of developing diabetes. However, I don't want to push it either. I want to consider myself lucky that none of that ever happened, but turn things around before it does happen.
We've all got theories about why PEOPLE become overweight. Why did you?
Recommit as often as you have to.
"Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in."
Come huddle with my team: http://teams.sparkpeople.com/Psychologists