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MOMMA48's Photo MOMMA48 Posts: 526,893
7/22/12 9:30 A

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emoticon all the way, Thiry! Please try to take on one issue at a time--I know it's hard when life has us going in so many different directions at a time, but hang in there and take care of YOU!

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MAMMABEAR-THIRY's Photo MAMMABEAR-THIRY Posts: 8,665
7/18/12 5:23 P

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Thank you so very much. On Monday my husband finally called me while I was in my session with my counselor. He wanted me to bring him some stuff. He told me that visiting hours were from 7-9 that night. I went to the house and got what I could of what he wanted together and took it to the hospital. When I walked into the hospital I suddenly felt like my heart was about to explode. I couldn't go up to see him so left the stuff with the security at the hospital entrance and left. I then went to the police station to turn in my daughterís phone because of the pictures that I found on it that have been on there since February of last year. I did end up going to the emergency room Monday night. They said that I was dealing with depression and anxiety. They said that they couldn't put me in the hospital for observation here in Norfolk as my husband was there so they would have to send me to Omaha or Lincoln. Instead of that they gave me a couple pills for anxiety to take home until I could fill the prescription for that and the medication for depression. I was also told to take a couple days off work so I have checked into the motel that I work at (free of charge) for 3 days. I checked in last night. I also asked the staff at the desk not to acknowledge my being here if anyone calls looking for me. When I talked to my boss at the office and told him I was supposed to take a couple days off and that I had made arrangements to check into the motel for a while he said he has his camper that they are finished with now that the girls have gone back home and he can bring it down, plug it in at the office and I can stay there so I don't have to pay for a room. I told him I though the room would be free but he said if it isn't let him know and he will bring the camper down for me to stay in until I am ready to go back to the house.
I was also asked to get my daughter some clothes as when she left the house last Tuesday night he had what clothes were on her back and the police had her learners permit. I went to the house this morning and went to her room with a plastic bag to through some stuff in and while I was doing that I felt like I was getting bit up. I looked at my ankles and saw at least a dozen fleas on each ankle. I finished throwing stuff in the bag and tied it shut and took it outside. I then went to the bathroom and got a cool wet cloth and washed my ankles to get rid of what fleas might still be on my ankles. I grabbed a blanket and lay it in front of her bedroom door, sprayed it big time and closed the door. I then left the house. Social services wouldn't take the bag of clothes and said they would have to figure something else out. Now if my daughter had been helping with trying to fight the fleas in the house her room wouldn't have been so infested and I would have about 20 bites on each ankle right now. After the spray works a little I think we will have to go in and bag everything we can in her room and then spray it every 2-3 days in hopes of getting rid of the infestation. I have been spraying my room about every week to 10 days so don't have the infestation in there that is in the daughterís room. I am back at my room just trying to relax, watching TV and getting ready to work on a couple things for the office that I can do at a more relaxed pace that I would at the office.

Take care
Thiry

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MOMMA48's Photo MOMMA48 Posts: 526,893
7/17/12 7:39 A

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You're so welcome, Thiry! It probably would be a good idea to get yourself checked out medically after all the events that you've gone through. You need to be healthy to keep helping those that you love, and they need you now, hun.

emoticon hope everything works out well and let us know, please, as we'd love to know that you and yours are all okay.

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MAMMABEAR-THIRY's Photo MAMMABEAR-THIRY Posts: 8,665
7/16/12 11:01 P

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MOMMA48 - thank you for all your support. I turned my daughters phone into the police department today for them to investigate the nude pictures that I found on it. My husband finally called me today. While on the phone with him my chest got really tight and I felt like I couldn't breathe. He asked me to bring him some stuff and said visiting hours were from 7-9 but I couldn't go up to see him and take the stuff to him because I started having the same feelings as on the phone but even worse. I don't know how I am going to attend a meeting at the hospital with my husband, his case worker, the social worker, myself and maybe my daughter.

I had a session with the counselor today and she is strongly suggesting that I go to the hospital to get checked out because of the way I am feeling. I am talking with my best friend and finding out more about what happened when she was babysitting for him. I am preparing to make a call on that as I feel he needs help because of what he did then when he was about 8 to 12 years of age.

Thanks again for the support.
Take care
Thiry

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MOMMA48's Photo MOMMA48 Posts: 526,893
7/15/12 8:40 A

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emoticon I'm so sorry to hear of the troubles that you're going through. With family members especially, the emotions that you're going through are all normal--at least to me. We love -- we want to be able to handle and "fix" all -- but, sometimes we just have to take life as it comes and do what we're able to. It sure isn't easy and I can feel your hurt in your posting -- I just wish I could do something for you to help you through it.

But, I do love your idea of taking a room for a bit and I hope you're able to figure something out with your boss. It can help to escape from the environment that causes the stress as, to me, it gives us time to get our thoughts together, think of ways to try to remedy the issues, and to remember that we have to take care of our own emotional and health well-being. Over the years, there have been times when I've needed to take a "mini-vacation" on my own - just by going to a motel for an overnighter. Go into the pool and relax.....quietness....it can help clear our minds of alot.

And, when you decide it's time to go back home, I hope you feel more rested and at ease so you're able to handle any issue that comes up again.

Hugs, caring and thoughtful wishes to you, hun! You are such a strong woman and have done and do so much for your family -- keep your chin up, hun, you're not alone -- just remember to take care of YOU too!

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MAMMABEAR-THIRY's Photo MAMMABEAR-THIRY Posts: 8,665
7/14/12 5:05 P

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Hello everyone. I havenít been on for quite a while but with the way things are going I can really use the support. I hope you all are doing well and forgive me for coming to the team only when I need the support. I have just been so busy with both jobs and my daughters activities that I canít find the time to do much on here.

Last weekend my family had a gathering at the park. I attended but was very tired as I had gone to the city fireworks, then to work at the motel (both the desk then breakfast), to the church for the presentation about the mission trip that DD went on and then to the picnic. By the time I got home and lay down I had been up 26 hours with all the activities. I got to spend a little time with my son and granddaughter both at the fireworks and the picnic. It was a good time but since then all h*ll has broken loose with my husband and daughter. Havenít talked to my daughter since Tuesday evening when she was removed from our home by the police and havenít talked to my husband since Wednesday afternoon when he said he was at the house and wanting to talk about what we were going to do about our daughter. When I got home from work he wasnít here. I ran some errands, he wasnít here. I went to the rodeo (county fair week this week) and he wasnít here when I got home. I then realized he left a message about 10 pm that he wasnít feeling well and was at the hospital. I called the number and was told the patients were sleeping and I should call back in the morning. Called several times that next day and the only thing I could find out was that he was taken to the east campus of the hospital by the police (4th floor Ė Behavior health ward) and still donít know why he is in the hospital. Kept getting the run-a-round by the hospital and finally said that I didnít want to talk to anyone and hung up. I decided that I wasnít going to sit at home and dwell on what was going on and resent my husband and daughter even more for their behaviors and leaving me alone to deal with all the fallout from what they did so I went to the Loretta Lynn concert in Grand Island since I had already purchased the tickets back in January. I got in touch with my best friend and she met me there. I had given my mom the ticket that was purchased for my daughter and when I got to the concert she didnít even acknowledge me. She rode to the concert with my sister who on Tuesday night informed me that everything that is going on this week is my fault because I didnít leave my husband 1.5 year ago when she told me to.
My boss at the office and all my co-workers are all being a great support during all this. The boss told me to take Thursday and Friday off to deal with all this. I told him I had to finish payroll as it wasnít done and Friday was payday. He said finish and then take care of what I needed to do. On Friday I did go to the office as all I would have done was sit at home and dwell on what was going on and that I canít do anything so went in and worked. He told me that if I needed to take care of anything to lock the office and forward all calls to his cell as he was leaving to spend time with his daughters who are visiting for the next few days. One of my drivers actually went to lunch and brought me back a cheeseburger and fries from Applebeeís Friday afternoon. Lots of calories but it actually satisfied my hunger which hadnít happened all week.
Right now I am so angry, feel like an elephant is standing on my chest and not looking forward to my husband getting out of the hospital. I am seriously considering talking to my boss at the motel to see if I can work something out to get a room for the next few days or even the week. So need to finish laundry, pack a bag just in case and get ready to head to the fair for the Chris Young concert tonight before heading to work. With everything going on I am not sure how much I will be able to be on Sparks but will do what I can.

Take care and have a great weekend everyone
Thiry

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MOMMA48's Photo MOMMA48 Posts: 526,893
4/17/12 8:00 A

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You're so welcome and any time you need a little extra boost of motivation and care, let me know, hun! I'll do what I can to help. Remember to believe in yourself, as I believe in you and I know you can do it! Super hugs!!

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JOCONNOR03's Photo JOCONNOR03 SparkPoints: (24,976)
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4/16/12 2:27 A

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Thank you so much for your kind and supportive words. I'm doing a little better but I'm really scared that I'm not going to be able to lose the weight. But I'm doing everything that I can by really tracking my food, increasing my exercise and researching as much about pre-diabetes that I can.
I hope that you are doing well and thanks again.

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MOMMA48's Photo MOMMA48 Posts: 526,893
4/11/12 9:01 A

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Sorry to hear your news, hun, BUT, I try to find the flip side of negatives in my life and one huge one being my chronic health issues. When we hear the news, it tends to hit us like a ton of bricks, but once we realize that it's better to know what is going on than not, we know we can get on the positive side of feeling and tackle the issue head on. It's a tough feeling to get to at first, but, once you're there, I hope you'll feel the strength and added motivation to stay on track, as you're doing it for you and your family, and I know you can do it!

And, remember, we're here for you all the way emoticon and if there is anything we can do to help, just let us know!

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JOCONNOR03's Photo JOCONNOR03 SparkPoints: (24,976)
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4/11/12 2:01 A

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Hey guys, I got some discouraging news today from my doctor. I went for my annual about 2 weeks ago and they drew some lab work. Hemoglobin/hemacrit, vit d level, triglyerides and hemoglobin A1c to test for diabetes. Well my A1c showed that I was pre-diabetic. My family has a strong heritage of diabetes so I was doing my best to not become type 2. So in the next 6 months I have to drop 10-15 lbs, exercise 3-5 times a week and then get my blood draw again. After we see that level we will decide what the next steps are. I wanted to lose this weight and it's been my goal but now that I HAVE to do it. I'm so scared I won't be able to. I'm stressing out about this to the point of giving myself panic attacks. Thanks for listening.

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MOMMA48's Photo MOMMA48 Posts: 526,893
4/2/12 10:01 A

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Sorry to hear it's raining in your life, hun. We haven't even done our taxes yet and I'm afraid to. With unemployment and no withholdings taken out -- I think it's going to hurt this year -- but we'll see what the final figure is. I have changed the unemployment to start withholding, but that doesn't take care of last year -- oh-oh!

It sounds great that you have someone who can help you through the audit, and as I've worked for a tax attorney/CPA for those 31+ years (but no longer), they sound scarier than they really are sometimes. It seems there is alot of correspondence back and forth, but somehow they get straightened out, so try not to worry too much, hun. I know it's easier said than done, but keep your chin up and remember that they always said that a certain amount of people get on the audit list and it isn't even something that they have done wrong, etc., to be audited. Government and paperwork -- whatcha goin' do!

emoticon and hope you have super emoticon days ahead.

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LASARRE's Photo LASARRE SparkPoints: (104,379)
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4/1/12 11:12 A

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When it rains, it pours. My real estate business was going gang busters since before Thanksgiving. As of two Sundays ago, I thought I was writing two offers and had a listing. Neither of the offers came to pass. I did get two listings. Then, a couple I had been working with for a few months, no longer had a pre-approval and couldn't get one. Made no sense to me unless it was never there in the first place. I knew that lesson..see the pre-approval ahead of time.

Daughter started new school on Monday so the stress of the other school investigating her etc. is over.

I thought we were heading for ok. Then the bomb came in the mail. We are being audited from the IRS. We have no money for attorneys or accountants. Thank goodness there is a friend of the family who is a lawyer and will do it for us for nothing. He doesn't specialize in tax law, but he is smart.

Also, our money situation is for crap. We are going to have to take one of the mutual funds I put away for my daughter. We talked to her and she understands. She will just have to be another college student on student aid. We can only do what we can do.

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MOMMA48's Photo MOMMA48 Posts: 526,893
3/16/12 7:50 P

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emoticon and that's what I'm trying to do. Gotta go through the motions in order to get results and I can't give up now.

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LASARRE's Photo LASARRE SparkPoints: (104,379)
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3/14/12 11:42 A

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Cheryl,
I know it is hard, but just do what they say. It is in your best interest. Try to stay positive emoticon

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MOMMA48's Photo MOMMA48 Posts: 526,893
3/14/12 11:12 A

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emoticon I just got back from one of my dr. appts., and they're sending me now to another facility with more specialists! I'm not sure when this will ever end! I'm just feeling super frustrated, as I thought I was getting a handle on these medical tests and appts., and I'm feeling like it's back to the drawing board. I know it is needed, but I'm getting tired of being on the medical roller coaster in so many ways. Keep your stress low, Cheryl, but how? They have me running and I really feel like can't I just sit down for awhile? But, that's life and gotta stay positive, but, more so, take one day at a time.

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MOMMA48's Photo MOMMA48 Posts: 526,893
3/10/12 8:14 P

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emoticon and glad to hear that everything will work out!

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LASARRE's Photo LASARRE SparkPoints: (104,379)
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3/9/12 11:54 A

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My daughter is really looking forward to it. The curriculum is fantastic. She can also stay in her AP classes.

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3/9/12 8:58 A

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The on-line schooling can be great for so many people. My son's girlfriend is doing it, and she has done so much better than when she was attending the school. I think there were too many distractions, etc., for her and she is disciplined enough to stick with it -- so I'm all for it! Hope it all works out for her.

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3/8/12 12:10 P

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They have started an "official" investigation as to where my daughter lives. Just because the attendance lady misunderstood when she was returning this week. My daughter's contact sheet was wrong. I tried to fix it at the beginning of the year, but no one bothered to look at it. I am seriously thinking of changing her to an Online School. The curriculum is so much better than what she is getting at this school. They have done no literature and she is in advanced classes. The teachers don't teach. She is going to be a junior and I would love to see her be really challenged her last two years.

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MOMMA48's Photo MOMMA48 Posts: 526,893
3/8/12 12:03 P

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I hear ya, hun! When my son was in high school, we had alot of problems--both with my son's attitude, but how the authorities treated him as well. So, in alot of ways, I couldn't blame for my son striking out with his temper--I wish it wasn't so harsh and in the way it was done, but when a janitor calls him a "ying yang" (he's Korean) -- it's kind of hard not to have his self-esteem go down-down and down. But, even though I know I should have left him fight his own battles, I did step in and it seemed like I was sitting in the Superintendent's office every other day (most of the time without my son knowing). There are things we can do for our kids when they're not able to get the respect they need and also learning they must respect others at the same time. It sure was a mixed-up time for us--but, sadly to say, when my son attempted suicide, the school officials finally recognized how much of an impact they had in his life and feelings as well and they started to offer the positive options for him to keep motivated and graduate. I'm just grateful those school years are over, but now we're in the next stage of life! And, I'm not so sure these are going to be easy years either, but sticking together and showing the love and support, hopefully, will help him to keep following his heart -- and he has such a wonderful and caring one! I luv my "peanut" to bits, can you tell? emoticon

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3/7/12 11:09 A

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I firmly believe that once both of my kids are out of high school, I will be able to finally get rid of one piece of stress. See, my kids are registered in my mother's district. My son stays there quite a bit and he is a senior so the school doesn't care where he is any more. However, my daughter spends a lot of time with us as she doesn't get along well with my mother and I'm worried that the district will throw her out. She will be a junior next year and has been in the district since 6th grade. Just got a call from the attendance lady because she marked Sarah absent on Monday. She didn't understand that until March 5 meant that she would return March 5. Then she started questioning who my mother was and where Sarah is living etc.

All that matters is where they stay 51% of the time. I'm thinking what are they going to do, chase her? She has a car. She is an honor student. How dumb!

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3/7/12 10:49 A

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You sound alot like me, hun! If there isn't something to worry about, somehow we seem to find something! To me, I think it may be due to the fact that this is how we have lived the majority of our lives! Being a parent adds to the "what about" and wanting to take care of others that spins us in that worry/stress mode. Same with $--I'm not sure how it works in your home, but I'm the one in charge of the finances and, with me not working, I really have to watch those costs and spending habits. So it's like we're on our toes 24/7! But, it's great to hear you took a vacation and enjoyed yourself and it was worth the $ thoughts. But, one thing at a time and I hope you're back to feeling like you're back in control again. Patience.....but it sure is hard to remember that things take time--I'm guilty of not having the patience I need, but it's something we have to acknowledge and give it our best shot! Things always seem to work out in the end, but don't you ever wonder where the "end" is sometimes? emoticon

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I am doing a really good job of stressing myself out. If there is nothing in front of me to stress over, I will definitely find something. Right now, I have myself completely stressed about this whole blood pressure thing. I never know if the reading is high enough to stroke myself out. I think I freak before I take it which makes it higher than it actually is.

Then, of course, I have to stress over work now because I am not busy enough. This is the first break I've had since Thanksgiving and I am worried about what is going to happen now.

Then, of course, there are the bills from the trip. We certainly lived it up, but at least there were no plane tickets. Why do I persist in making myself crazy? emoticon

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Results are in and, I'm back to a let's do the scan and bloodwork again in a few months. But, I'm just kinda disappointed that the dr. said I really should go back and find a new rheumatologist than the one I had before, as it's definitely something to watch with the last blood results. Drats! Back to being referred to another new specialist!

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Could be, as this department of specialists sure seem to be on the ball and really have their patients in mind. Signs of a great dr. to me and one that I will be looking forward to seeing for my future check-ups, etc.

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Maybe they thought by having you come in earlier and get the news of unchanged would ease your mine as opposed to making you wait until Monday.

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2/23/12 8:27 A

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Thank you, hun! And, I thought what would it hurt -- so I called and talked to his assistant. She said that she saw the word "unchanged" in the radiologist's report, but she wouldn't go into much more -- which is fine with me. Just hearing the word "unchanged" was enough to help! Just so there was no more damage showing up on the scan, etc., is what I'm after and that word "unchanged" sounded good to me.

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I don't blame you for stressing on that one. I think all of us tend to think the worst when we get a call from a doctor like that. Just try to focus on something else. I know it is not easy. emoticon

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Here we go! Frustration and worry time for me! I had various medical scans done on Monday to show if the lupus has damaged more major organs since the last scans. I also had bloodwork done as to inflammation, etc. My follow-up appointment is set for next Monday, sooooo......why did the dr.'s office call and ask if I wanted to come in any time sooner? Why? Why? Why? They said my scan results were in--but I asked about the blood work and they said, as they were different sort of tests being run, they wouldn't have the results for a few days. So, I asked why we couldn't wait until the set appointment next week to hear all of the results on all of the various tests. I didn't even think to ask why they thought it was important to hear the results of the scans sooner--and maybe just because I was so surprised to get the call. The nurse was so nice and said she was going to ask the dr. and see what he said. He's a great doctor and now I'm just waiting to see if they call again to ask that I come in earlier even though they don't have all of the results yet.

So, my vent is my vent to myself in alot of ways. Why do I think the worst right of way!

I could definitely kick myself sometimes when my mind and thoughts take me to worryland in a split second. Patience and maybe even calling their office again today to ask why they wanted to push up the appointment (other than they are a great group of people to work with and are right on the ball as they are in the critical care practice and know that their patients are in a different medical situation and may want to know their results sooner than alot of people--I don't know.)

Time to focus on patience and maybe making that phone call, just to get a bit of relief that the results aren't more to worry about.

emoticon I don't know -- I'm just worried and somewhat scared at the same time!

Edited by: MOMMA48 at: 2/22/2012 (10:25)
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2/12/12 9:21 A

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emoticon thank you, hun! It probably wasn't the dr. personally, as much as the whole run around a person has to go through sometimes. It just gets frustrating when you're not feeling well and all they want to do is say you're stressed and here's another medication. Some medications work and some sure don't with me and my body and yesterday proved that point. But, today at least I feel awake and like I can sit upright, so the med finally wore off! Thank goodness! And, again, super hugs for your kind words and understanding--means alot to me!

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Momma - I'm sorry that you had such a negative experience with this doctor. I find it very frustrating as well in this new era where everything is on a computer. The doctor should be listening to you, looking at you, not the computer. What ever happened to bedside manner and working as a team to manage care. I hope you will start feeling better soon and I will keep you in my prayers.

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I think this is more of a frustration post than a vent, but time to get it out and here we go! Yesterday was a super busy day and all went well until the dr. appt. I started having another excruciating headache and knew I was headed toward another TIA. That's typically how I can tell they're coming and then the tremors come on and more! So, it was an hour before my scheduled dr. appt. with my regular dr., and my hubby called in to see if I could get in earlier and while this was happening. I couldn't see my regular dr., but they said to come in immediately and be seen by another dr.-which I did. I respect everyone and understand that this new dr. doesn't know my history, but he was reading it on the computer screen as he was asking questions, etc. I told him the list of specialists I've seen, the medical issues that I have and that I've gone through these before and that was why I was to see him now. So, I had a basic check and he said it doesn't seem as though you're having a stroke. I know I wasn't having a major stroke -- it's another warning sign of an actual one and that was why I was here--to head off a major one. All in all, he finally told me I should try to slow myself down and not let my racing thoughts get the best of me. Huh? Easier said than done. I explained all the years of stress counseling I had gone through in the past due to other things in my life, I know how to do biofeedback with hand temperatures, I know how to keep my body and mind moving while going through these headaches to keep the mind working with my body, I even showed him one that he thought was great and that he has to remember for his next patient that has this problem (I was happy to share the ways that I've found that help me get through the episodes), I explained that I don't do well on mixing of meds and that was his final answer. Take one of these and your normal one that you take at bedtime for seizures and slow down your thoughts. I asked him how and he said just try to relax. How can I relax when my right side is trembling, my mind is totally in the fog and I'm trying to see straight as my eyes are overly sensitive to light and I'm feeling like I have nails being driven through my skull?

I know there is no easy answer or resolution to my health issues, and I'm definitely not knocking the dr. But all I have left is to take another medication to shut down my immune system entirely (I have Lupus and in the progressive stage, which is a super culprit as to causing inflammation to my major organs) but I'm just too stubborn to say "shut me down." This too is my fault and I understand it--but, to me, it's like giving up and I just don't want to. I have a life to live and I'm okay most of the time and don't want to rely on another medication, especially knowing the side effects -- which is worse, having Lupus or the side effects? Sounds more like the side effects to me and I'm not ready to give in. Determination and stubbornness as to certain things has got me through alot in my life and how do I now say, I give up and medicate me further? In my heart, I just know I'm not ready yet. I don't want to feel like I'm zonked out all day--what kind of life is that? I have too much positive energy left--I just stumble sometimes and lose it, but it comes back which leaves me with that stronger feeling of I can do this.

So, rambling Cheryl again, but how do you know inside when it's time to back off, let the drs. do their thing and change your daily life by relying solely on medication when you feel not now. I'm still in here!!!

So, yup! After writing this, I definitely feel as though I've gotten my frustrations out and feel more determined than ever to keep up the fight and do what feels right for me. Right or wrong -- who knows -- but I gotta do what feels right for me and at the right time in my life.

Now, if I could just knock this super grogging feeling from last evening's medications that he gave me, I'd feel alot better. But, breathe, relax and keep feeling like me -- isn't that what it's all about. Living life and lovin' it, even though at times we just feel like someone pulled our energy plug, but I plugged it back in and waiting patiently to start working!

And, to my friends who are in my age range, I'm 51, per the dr., it is normal for a person to say one word when you want to say another at my age. Another big Huh??? When you say "pumpkin" and you want to say "popcorn" while going through a TIA, remember, it's your age! Yah right! emoticon If you know me, you can imagine what I thought to myself on that one. I'm polite, but my thoughts weren't at that comment. But, I didn't say a thing -- but thought my share, so, see, my brain is okay and thinking right on track once I get over the major headache part! emoticon At my age.......come on dr.

Edited by: MOMMA48 at: 2/11/2012 (12:42)
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2/11/12 10:08 A

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Sounds emoticon hun!

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Things seem to be working well with the girl and my mother. So, I think, she took me seriously. Mom hasn't complained about her since that happened. Daughter is doing good.

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2/8/12 8:42 P

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Hope you're able to sleep better, hun, and everything is going great with your daughter and driving. Love the "humpty dumpty" -- what a fun way to put it, even though it sure brings on the frustrations!

And, you got it with documentation. You can't deny a text sent by another and good thing you sent it and I hope it solves those issues too!

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2/6/12 1:33 P

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No sleep last night. Completely stressed over my daughter driving the car to school by herself the first time. She made it there fine. I wasn't that nervous with my son and he's cracked up the car twice. We now call it Humpty (Humpty Dumpty) as we have to keep putting it back together again.

Also, found out the girl staying with my mother is a liar. She is telling my sister's things and me different things. She called and said my mother hit her and my son saw it. I told my sister who texted me and said she had just talk to her and didn't know where my information was coming from, but everything was absolutely fine. I forwarded the text to the girl and then forwarded the girl's response to my sister. I love documentation. I also know the girl's mother and grandmother. I told her if she screws with us anymore, she will be out on her a@@.

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2/6/12 10:30 A

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One of my dogs, Bud! (Sheltie) knows when I'm not feeling well. I set something off again in my back and it's causing the super weakness in the right leg again. I still had my nightgown on and I sat down in a living room chair. Bud started licking my right shin. I know he likes to lick toes, but this time around he picked the leg that was causing the problem. I wasn't rubbing on it or anything -- sure makes a person wonder sometimes! How do they know??? Maybe just seeing how I've been walking on it again like I did before -- it's not a limp, just a bit slower and I sit down swivel-style again with my knees together which helps the knee joint. But gotta love those tails! I sure do!!!

And, what a great way to offer a Tuesday! Love it -- and you're right, sometimes it takes a bit of showing others what our lives are like and putting the shoe on the other foot and kindly showing what our daily lives are all about. Great advice and I hope it helps you!

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My horse is the same way. He got upset when I lost my temper with him last week and he wouldn't come near me. I took a lesson on him yesterday and, for the first time since I hit him, he put his head on my shoulder when we were done instead of trying to get away from me. I wish people were as sensitive to each other as animals are.

Take my sister. Yes..I'm venting...she is on my case because she was going to come in from Chicago to see my mother today. She wanted me to meet her at the barn so mom could see JC. I told her I have to work. I'm a realtor. I work weekends. I get a text from her at 11:30 last night saying that they had to put their dog had died (they had had him on a respirator for heart failure...how cruel). He was a 16 year old Irish Setter. In either case, she wasn't up to coming in, but didn't have a choice as my other sister and I wouldn't go and see mother. I HAVE TO WORK! I don't get what part of this she doesn't understand.

I was talking to my friend this morning and she said next time she wants me to meet her on a Sunday I should say..Sunday doesn't work for me, but why don't we meet on Tuesday? Of course, she will say she has to work. That's my point.

Isn't it amazing how simple the answer is when someone else thinks of it?

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2/5/12 9:57 A

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And I bet she loved it -- not too many personal assistants out there that can show their appreciation by wagging their tail emoticon but isn't it great that we can share our love and emotions with our pets and they never seem to get enough! Say certain key words, and my two dogs act more like humans than people do sometimes!

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My personal assistant appreciates all the wonderful words spoken about her. I told her to her face not behind her back. emoticon

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Last evening I called my friend who runs the main food pantry and we had a great talk about how things are going or went at the church food pantry and even at the Community pantry. It felt good to get out alot of the emotions and hurt that I've been feeling with someone who is involved hands-on with the programs and, even though a few tears came, it was a super relief and a conversation that hopefully will help make next week a better one knowing what's what behind the scenes more or less and not feeling as though it was something I did or didn't do that brought on others' actions or words.

Edited by: MOMMA48 at: 2/4/2012 (09:52)
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I know what you mean, Nancy, as to the Church food pantry ladies, even though I introduced myself first and said that I wanted to help them in any way that I could. That's why, as the Church secretary told me, the group is very protective and there are only 3 ladies! But there has to be a limit and especially when someone is trying to help and not tell them how to do it. They don't want the help??? Okay, fine--I tried. Now the Church Secretary wants me to come to a meeting for the "Caring Committee" members and take office, but I'm almost afraid that, if I'd go, I'd say something that someone wouldn't possibly like -- hard telling. I'm sticking with appreciative people in a positive environment and I'm praying that these ladies are able to open their hearts to a bit more open and friendly demeanor -- with the few volunteers and especially with those from the community that come and need the help. I'm sure they don't feel too comfortable either when the volunteers are standing behind them watching what they are taking--even though that's what the pantry is about--taking what you and/or your family needs and with the guidance of the volunteers. And, I only hope the ladies remember and learn to put a smile on their faces while they are helping others, as --otherwise, to me, it seems to beat alot of the purpose. Sharing and caring -- and looking as you honestly do. But, I think that's another situation where people are people no matter where you go. Oh well, at least I tried and I still feel glad that I did. Gotta follow my heart and stand strong even though others seem to want to give it a kick sometimes. Whatcha goin' do? To me, keep trying and in other areas.

And, I love your personal assistant, Nina! What a faithful and wonderful friend by your side! Love it!

Edited by: MOMMA48 at: 2/3/2012 (11:01)
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Yes, I had that at work also. I spent most of my time alone so they couldn't draw me into the mess.
Momma, I can understand where they are coming from. They must have felt you were telling them how to run things, that they were doing eveything wrong.Should have waited until you had been there a few days.
Christian they weren't! Friendly they weren't! I would have walked up, introduced myself, and talked to you. Again, that is me.

Nina: Talk about the ideal situation. What ever you say doesn't get pased. Give your personal assistant a few pats and hugs from me.

Depression is the impression left by fear. Be willing to fight the fear. Conquer it with love.

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That happens at every work place. I used to work for the public schools, both as a teacher and an administrator. Everybody was talking about everybody and who was sleeping with who etc. I'm not talking about the students either. It was the adults.

I don't get that now. I work from home. Not that I don't talk about some of my clients to my dog who is my personal assistant now emoticon

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I hear ya, hun! I know when I worked at the law office, it was like high school girls competing for something??? I have no idea what!!! And, to work in that sort of environment can sure bring on the stress. You try to concentrate on your work, and others comments and whispering can drive a person nuts! What I did, and I'm not sure if you're able to do it at your office, was to put my computer screen in a position where I could block out "seeing" other people, which helped somewhat -- but then I'd put my earphones on from the Dictaphone and try to block the negative talk out so I could concentrate better. Sometimes it worked and sometimes, not, but it's worth a try for you and I hope it helps.

But, I found out yesterday that it doesn't only happen at work -- Yikes! I volunteer at the Community Food Pantry, which is fine, but then I walked down to our Church who also has a food pantry that is open only on Wednesdays and Fridays. I had never volunteered there, or saw how they ran it--but I certainly got my fill of it yesterday. Grown women who "protected" an orange -- kid you not! I was treated like some sort of an outsider and I was there to offer some help to them, both physically and idea-wise and to make it easier for them to set it up, etc. But, get ready for this one -- talk about venting, which I did to my hubby last evening -- I explained that the main person at the Community Pantry was wondering himself how they ran their pantry and, as he couldn't walk there with me due to his work schedule, I took a picture of the produce section with my cellphone. I was like "attacked" by comments behind me. "Why are you taking pictures?" "Who are you going to share those pictures with?" It was like I was some sort of spy or something. Talk about negative environment -- they sure have it there and that's why I'm not going back to help. Too much negative stress brought on by Christian ladies who sure don't act like it. The Church secretary told me afterwards that the group sure is protective of their food pantry -- and I couldn't agree more. Helping others is what it's all about, but they don't seem to need the help or ideas on how to make it easier for them. I tried -- but no more. I offered ideas on food distributors that donate large quantities of food and it was like they looked at me like I was telling them what to do. How many times can a person say, I just want to offer some help! So, people sure are people and, even in a Church setting, the whispering and side glances prove, negative and controlling sort of people are out there no matter where you look.

And, you're right, hun, it feels good to get the emotions out -- and I hope I didn't ramble too much. But aaahhhh.....much better!

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This is the first time I'm venting on here and I'm hoping that instead of internalizing and putting stuff out there maybe my stress/anxiety level will go down.

I'm so, so sick of my job. I love what I do and couldn't picture doing anything else. It's all the high school drama coming out of grown women. Would it really be so hard to leave stuff at the door and do your job. Instead people are talking behind each others back, unfriending each other on facebook, texting and tee-heeing, insulting each other and just being mean. I'm not saying that sometimes I don't talk but I'm soooo sick of drama. We are all adults, not to mention professionals. So lets put on our big girl panties and do our jobs. Leave the drama at home. I hate dreading coming here because of it.

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Definitely will, hun! Take care and I'm feeling that "drained" feeling myself between my family and the worries connected with taking care of my parents -- but gotta keep going and especially when it comes to those that we love the most.

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Refer to tonight's blog. I am too drained to type it again. www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
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nal_individual.asp?blog_id=4715118


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I wish you well tomorrow.
When ever I cry, Bob tells, Now don't stsrt that act with me again. It is a man thing, but not all men are that way.

Depression is the impression left by fear. Be willing to fight the fear. Conquer it with love.

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I know. DS came after me again yesterday. We ended up talking to him for over an hour about the fact that he is living here for free and his attitude needs to change or he is going to have to find somewhere else to go. He then pulled a new trick. He said there was something we needed to see on my daughter's old cell phone. It was a porn video. Now, I know my daughter well enough. She would never do this. He was smiling the whole time. He downloaded it onto her phone. I made it clear if there were any charges, he was paying them.

He also knows that he will not see the car again for at least 6 months. He has to earn privileges back. The car is a privilege not a right. He just doesn't seem to get it. I'm with you. I am so tired of the constant discussions that follow the same path. We meet with the counselor from DVR tomorrow. I am so hoping they put him in a job soon.

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That's usually how our discussions happen in our home also. But, more so, the anger flies first and for a long time! And, I can't handle yelling, name-calling and more! I wish we could get through to the "crying" stage, but my son and hubby won't give in. I'm usually the one that starts crying and I get yelled at for crying! Go figure--is it a "man thing" or what!!! I don't think so - I just think it's more of a Mom is the punching bag of sorts for all of the angry comments and actions. And, it sure can wear a person down! emoticon

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Momma, I know it is not easy. My mother is not doing well and my sisters completely shut me out. I finally talked to my one sister yesterday just to find out that my other sister is doing nothing just calling this sister.

I called the insurance people today and we can not legally remove my son's insurance unless he surrenders his license to the state. Don't think he is going to do that and I can't force him. But, he now has to take the city bus to his job skills job and they are keep him there until 4:00 then he gets to take the bus back home. He just gets to watch the car sit in the driveway. Finally, talked to him last night and, of course, he cried. That is always the next step. First start swearing and then go to crying.

I am not giving in on the trip. No way no how!

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emoticon I'm still waiting for my hubby to make the jump! I honestly don't think it's going to happen and I'm feeling like an outsider in my own home in alot of different ways. I've been spending my evenings at my parents to help out, etc., and when I get back home in the morning, I get a definite feel that they like when I'm not here. It's like the supervisor has stepped out and everyone can keep doing and goofing around and it's party time here. Very strange feeling considering it's my home that I paid for back when, the groceries are those that I've been buying and refilling the fridge, cupboards with and, they both totally have it made. And, I'm the one doing the running, buying and taking care of the bills while I feel like I'm being pushed out in alot of ways. I just can't figure it out -- I know what "should" be done, but I'm not in the greatest of financial situations right now seeing as how I'm not working, so I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Let's keep hoping they figure it out that Mom is going down.......and care enough to help me get back up. But, sorry to say, I'm not holding my breath on that one.

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Momma, my husband finally jumped on board yesterday. My son has disabilities so we have let him get away with a lot.

Nancy, my son will be supporting himself hence the meeting with DVR. He has been labeled a Category 1 which means there is no waiting to place him in a job because of his disability. They have placed some people where he has been doing his job skills program for the last year so she is thinking she can place him there and he will actually get paid. He will then start paying rent here if he plans to continue to live here. His supervisor knows his DVR counselor so it shouldn't be a problem placing him there.

He can't work full time as he doesn't graduate from high school until June. I do think you are right about my daughter. I think she will finally be rewarded and understand that she is getting rewarded for always trying her best. She is the politest girl you have ever met. She works so hard.

I am not going to give him the same reward for taking no responsibility in his life. He still will not understand that neither of these accidents would have happened if he had been where he said he was.

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Good for you Momma.
LASARRE , you let your son call you that? My drug fulled son never used those words against me. He know I would have kicked him out then and there. Like I said tough love works eventually. Please stick to your rules and do what you wrote here.
Also take advantage of the advice on the insurance.

Now to both of you - emoticon - (here I go again) who is going to support your sons for the rest of their lives?

Edited by: NANCYRUBIO at: 1/29/2012 (17:05)
Depression is the impression left by fear. Be willing to fight the fear. Conquer it with love.

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emoticon going, Mom! It's so great to hear that your daughter agrees with you, which helps make the "lesson" stand strong. Now, if I could get the same support in my house and be able to teach my son a lesson for his own good, things would be alot better--but, so far, Mom stands alone with the "tough love" theory and it makes every day a challenge of sorts for me--emotionally, financially and health-wise. But, gotta keep at it and pray that everything works out in the end.

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This was my son's second accident in 4 months. Cost us $1700 for the first one. Then, just like you we had to put more money in because the brakes went. Then, the battery went. The only thing we have gotten from him since he came home yesterday is him calling me an "a-hole" and an SOB. There is no way I am spending more money to take him on this trip we have planned. He is 18 years old and needs to learn to step up to the plate.

My daughter does everything we ask. She does all the wash, the cat boxes, is on the dean's list and she made a point. She said, and he is right, he has never taken responsibility for anything. We always say that he is going to have consequences and never give him any. This time he has them.

I didn't go through a 5 hour discussion with him yesterday like I normally would. I am talked out.It is his turn to act mature and come out and talk to us which he won't do. The house has been very quiet.

The car runs fine minus half a bumper which can wait. He knows how to take city transportation and he will go back to that. He is living under our roof and doing nothing. We have an appointment with a counselor from the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation who will, we are hoping, make his job skills volunteer job for school a permanent job for him. I told him when he can start paying his insurance and his gas, he can then drive again. I plan to cancel his insurance and take away his privileges here.

Like you said, thank G-d, no one has been hurt in these accidents. Ben has only had his license for 4 months. This was his fault. He decided to turn left from the right lane and cut off the other driver. He will probably get ticketed and we will make him appear in court. It will be a good lesson for him.

Edited by: LASARRE at: 1/29/2012 (12:46)
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1/29/12 12:30 P

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I just finished reading your vent, hun, to my hubby and we both just looked at each other and smiled! Not because of the situation, but because it was like we read our own story over the past few months. Our son was also in a car accident last November and sideswiped by a girl that didn't have insurance. Thankfully, no one was injured. The repair estimate was almost $3,000 and, due to the insurance situation and the fact that we only had liability coverage on the car, it was up to us to repair. I knew a "car guy" who found used doors, perfect color match and all (talk about luck), and he and my hubby did the repair work in our garage, so, all in all, the total came to about $500, for which we paid. The girl who hit him, was going to make payments to me on the $500 as she didn't want us to take her to Small Claims Court for the $3,000 of damage, etc., which we could have done. But, I think I've learned my lesson again as being too nice sometimes, as so far she has only paid $50 and that was last December--I have a feeling that is all we're going to receive. I'm rambling, but.....to me, my son should have stepped up and started making payments of some sort. But, nope!

Second chapter..........NOW!!! The car has been repaired, and he just blew the engine on it last week!!! What next? emoticon Soo...guess who had to buy him a car to get to work this last week? Hello, Mom!

So, I totally hear you and I agree with Nancy as to driving being a privilege. A privilege and a huge responsibility! I'm not sure what it takes sometimes to show them that life as an adult isn't party time or a time to rely on others for everything in their lives. As a parent, we want to "take care" of our children, as we do, but using "tough love" and saying "no" is a big part of being a parent too if it's for their own well-being and safety. And, that "no" is hard on the emotions, but sometimes we have no other choice. Life isn't always so easy, and I'd rather have them be upset with me today than hurt, etc., in any other way down the line.

You're on the right track all the way and I hope your daughter helps build the trust again and your son learns a valuable lesson through it all. They need to earn the trust and respect, just like we did when we were that age and, I hope they find that life can go alot smoother for them in the long haul.

Just thinking.....as to taking your son off of your insurance, will your premium change in any way? Our car insurance rates our premium on the fact that we have someone (doesn't matter if related or not) that lives under our roof and has "access" to all of our vehicles, so even though he doesn't have the keys and is not allowed to drive them, in the insurance company's eyes, he could...so our premiums are rated on a 19 year old male who has had a car accident and the "ability" to drive our vehicles, which makes that premium sky-high! I'm stuck on that one and really should check into other insurance companies -- but that's our situation right now -- and a costly one! And, I thought maybe one that you want to check into as well.

Edited by: MOMMA48 at: 1/29/2012 (12:38)
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1/28/12 5:33 P

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He has not earned the privilege to drive--in my view. You really don't know what caused the accident. Stop blaming yourself, what you did was reasonable.
Your daughter must be given a chance to prove herself. Your thinking seems to be on course.

Depression is the impression left by fear. Be willing to fight the fear. Conquer it with love.

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Don't know what to do. Got a call from my 18 year old son about an hour ago. He has been in another "accident". We got him the car in September using the money that was set aside for him to go to college. He is not going to college, but DVR is helping him get a job. He has learning disabilities. That time he crushed the whole front end of the car and the radiator etc. Cost us $2,000 to get it fixed. He had been riding around for the first 4 weeks he had the car.

Last night, I let him stay at his grandmother's. He states he was turning out of a park this morning...what was he doing in the park? and someone sideswiped him. He says the car is drive able, but at the same time, part of it is laying in the road. I thought he had learned his lesson about the car only being for necessary things and not for just driving around. I think it was my fault because I invited him to come to lunch with my mother and I yesterday and he wanted to stay over. If I had just left him at his job skills job and come home as was the plan, none of this would have happened. I have no more money to put into the car.

My daughter is taking her road test on Friday. I can't trust him with the car anymore. I also don't know if they declare it his fault if we can afford to fix it again. Maybe the thing to do is sell it on craigslist. Someone who knows about cars would be able to put the side panel back on themselves. We have over $7000 invested in this car.

My problem was I trusted him again. I never should have done that. I got to complacent. My one thought is, if my daughter gets her license, to give the car to her, take him off the insurance and not let him drive it. He will have to rely on her to get where he needs to go. I just don't know what to do!

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There is to replies from you.

Depression is the impression left by fear. Be willing to fight the fear. Conquer it with love.

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1/26/12 7:23 P

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For some reason my replies are not sending-

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Are you all receiving this?


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................

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1/26/12 7:15 P

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I know that's frustrating! Before I got sick, I had lost between 10-15 lbs. When I got sick, within a couple of weeks, I had gained all of that back plus some! I do feel a bit healthier but the weight is stingy and refuses to budge. I am feeling self-defeated at this point. I am trying to get healthy and lose weight at the same time. Sometimes, it takes a few days before it shows up on the scale. Do you weigh daily, once a week...? I am going by how I feel in my clothes too, that makes a difference AND I can feel the weight loss in my face of all places when I start losing.
Cindy

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1/26/12 7:02 P

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The reading of the post is so hard to read. It makes me realize I really have no problems now that my sons are grown. Our world is such a hard place for all the children. today. I do not envy child or parent.

Depression is the impression left by fear. Be willing to fight the fear. Conquer it with love.

Nancy Rubio
Oro Valley, AZ


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1/26/12 12:37 P

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I know the stress of kid's cars. My son crashed his 4 weeks after he got it. We then had it repaired. Then the brakes went and the battery went. It is always something!

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People are people and, especially, when purchasing a large ticket item, like a house! It has to be difficult at times to work with some that just don't want to understand or agree with things that are explained to them. I know what it was like in the legal field, and there are times when you just can't please everyone, and alot of people will let you know. Not a pretty picture -- but I guess it's all part of the job. Just wish it wasn't so frustrating at times and I hope your stress level has gone down, hun.

I'm feeling the stress today as I'm still driving back and forth to my parents, which isn't a problem and I love doing it--but I'm getting tired from the here and there sort of feeling. And, I think what has really set off the stress button is the fact that my son's car broke down and we found out he blew his engine! Soooo.....we did get lucky in ways as we knew that my niece wanted to sell her car to purchase a new one, so talk about working fast, my hubby and son met her at the car dealer, paid for the used car and she was then able to go in and pay for her new one with the added $ in her pocket. So it worked out for everyone in the long haul, but cars, added $ and more aren't helping the stress level and I'm feeling totally drained physically and mentally just trying to keep up with it all. But, can't give up -- it's a new day and I hope there are no new challenges or stressors to add to it today!

Edited by: MOMMA48 at: 1/26/2012 (09:10)
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Oh no, I may have to take this buyer out again. He got an incredible deal on a house, but thinks he is doing the seller's a favor by buying it. He forgets that another offer came in that was higher than his. Most the houses in this area go for at least 40,000 higher. This one is not updated but structurally it is sound. He had the home inspection and there are some grading issues. Usually grading is not that expensive, but this home inspector convinced him it is. He wants the sellers to give him a $2,000 credit for grading. They will not give more than $1,000 as they priced the house accordingly.

Then again he could be all talk which he seems to have been through this entire process. The seller's on the other hand had just put the house on the market at this price and got two offers. They will just take the other offer. It was higher than ours, but they gave us first right because we had a closer closing.

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One is just an a@@hole. The other just isn't bright. I have no issues with closing early. The sooner I close, the sooner I get a check :)

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1/25/12 2:04 P

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Are they taking advantange of you being a woman? Just a thought...

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I really thought of going to that home inspection later and helping that buyer, but he is such an a@@ that I just can't stand the thought of spending any time alone with him. I am worried I will tell him off again.

Then, I find out today, that a closing I thought I had on Monday was moved to Friday, but my buyer nor his lender told me. What if the sellers couldn't make it on Friday? I don't get these people!

Nina- Wisconsin CST
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CWPRAISINJC1's Photo CWPRAISINJC1 Posts: 383
1/24/12 8:26 P

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I can tell that you are proud of your prodical son. I guess what is bugging me the most right now is that the youngest daughter is starting to follow the older one's negative footsteps and it is killing me to watch her move that direction. The younger one has always been a pillar!
My girls don't do drugs or anything like that. I know they would seem like angels to other parents but they are doing their fair share of trouble in other areas.
Anyway, thank you for your reply and your help.


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NANCYRUBIO's Photo NANCYRUBIO Posts: 318,417
1/24/12 7:21 P

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CWPRAISINJC1 --that could very well be the reason you are always crying.
Sorry, tough love is here again. I had a son who took and sold drugs. I had another one that was a choir boy. The first son knew enough not to come home for anything, he burnt those bridge, After he got out of prison, he went to college and he is now raising his two son. What a great job he is doing and his sons better walk a straight line. He has been through it all, he knows it what they are thinking and they realize this. They have a great relationship.
He and I are great friends now and he is not afraid to say "I love you mom".

Depression is the impression left by fear. Be willing to fight the fear. Conquer it with love.

Nancy Rubio
Oro Valley, AZ


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CWPRAISINJC1's Photo CWPRAISINJC1 Posts: 383
1/24/12 4:38 P

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Oh, you are too sweet! Well, I haven't cried in a couple of hours and you are most definitely right with everything you said...still can't keep the crying under control though. I want to get better so I can encourage others too; THANK YOU!
My Naturopath doctor told me that it is the estrogen getting out of my liver...she is giving me a new supplement to take and hopefully that one will kick in and help some. My Naturopath doctor is the only one so far that has really helped me with this. My primary care doc just threw pills at me. When I told him that my estrogen patch didn't seem to be working, he told me to add another one. Well duh. Looking back, I should have been tested for my hormones and my Naturopath doc has run the tests and completely taken me off of the estrogen for now. We are going by trial and error for now because thats what Naturopath docs do but really thats what western medicine does too really, right?
I just think my adult daughters are much too old to be acting like this, common. Esp, when they are living in my house. It is hard to mother your adult kids, to overstep your bounds. I feel like an alien.
Thanks again for the encouragement. I am trying to do better.

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MOMMA48's Photo MOMMA48 Posts: 526,893
1/24/12 4:27 P

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emoticon Wipe those tears, hun! I'm sure you're a great Mom and they're maybe just acting out on their own stress/frustrated feelings with other things in their lives. I know I get alot of negatives shot my direction from my hubby and son -- but I know they're unhappy with certain things in their lives and we always seem to be the person that they strike out at. Words and expressions can hurt, but I hope you can keep smiling and feel better about yourself, as you're here at Sparks and this Team where we understand some of those frustrations and you're not doing it alone. We're here for ya all the way and hugs to you!

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CWPRAISINJC1's Photo CWPRAISINJC1 Posts: 383
1/24/12 1:23 P

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My daughters are 27 and 29. The 29 year old has a 2.5 year old. I worry about the little one.

Everytime I walk into the room, I get a dirty look. I know I have not been the mom that I used to be. But I really am suffering now and they just don't get it. There I go crying again. I am SO tired of crying. Can't seem to turn the waterworks off these days. I used to be fun and easy to be around... Sorry, didn't mean to go on and on, just trying to deal with this.

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LASARRE's Photo LASARRE SparkPoints: (104,379)
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1/24/12 1:10 P

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CW, not to sound harsh, but if they were my kids..they would be long gone! Nobody would treat me bad in my house. My kids live here (16,18) dd does the wash, son mops the floors and vacuums the carpets. No, if they want anything from me, they sure as heck better earn it!

Nina- Wisconsin CST
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CWPRAISINJC1's Photo CWPRAISINJC1 Posts: 383
1/24/12 1:06 P

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My adult daughters are making me feel like I am the one that should move out of my own house! I am furious and sad too. It hurts beyond words. I am sick and they say they are tired of tiptoeing around me, that I have been "mentally" checked out. All I do is cry anymore, the tears won't stop. My heart is broken. Never thought I would be thrown away when I got old and sick...Thanks for listening.

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1/24/12 1:04 P

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The comments about me being Jewish were the nice parts about him.

Nina- Wisconsin CST
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CWPRAISINJC1's Photo CWPRAISINJC1 Posts: 383
1/24/12 1:03 P

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I can't believe in this day and time that a fool is making remarks about you being Jewish. What on earth is the matter with him?
Good luck to you. I hope everything turns out ok for you all.

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CWPRAISINJC1's Photo CWPRAISINJC1 Posts: 383
1/24/12 1:01 P

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That makes sense. The money is going for a good cause esp if he is not going to college.

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1/24/12 1:00 P

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My Vent is a buyer I have (I'm a realtor) who is an A@@hole. He doesn't listen to me. He has made snide remarks about my being Jewish. He set up a home inspection for a time that I can't be there. Neither he nor the home inspector he is using have followed through for the home inspector to contact the listing agent to get into the property tomorrow. I suggested we put off the home inspection until Friday when I can be there.

This buyer will not select a lender. My husband took off so many days of work to show this idiot houses and I get the feeling that this guy isn't going to get his loan commitment and say that he couldn't get financing and kill the deal. What he doesn't realize is he is at risk of being sued by the seller because he didn't try to get the financing. I had him with a lender and he won't decide who he wants to use. He says he has time. Closing is the 17 of February. In this market, that is not a lot of time for appraisal, paperwork etc. I got him exactly what he told me he wanted.

I am worried because I planned this trip for the family which is a road trip to TN and then New Orleans and then Memphis based on the 3 closings I have coming up. I don't really have any other buyers on the horizon except one which is based on whether or not his house sells and it is way over priced for this market. I think we should have done the smart thing and put that money away. I did book all the hotels on priceline and we are driving so that will help us save money.

I am completely stressed today. Like all I want to do is just watch the Australian Open and read my book. I was going to go see my horse (haven't seen him in 2 weeks because of the weather), however, the girl at the barn said the arena is still really cold and to give it another day of sun for it to warm up.

I know long rant. But, I am tired of ranting in my blogs and I found this thread and it is what I need. Thanks all!

Edited by: LASARRE at: 1/24/2012 (13:02)
Nina- Wisconsin CST
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1/24/12 12:53 P

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I can relate to all of you with the son situation. I have a son who just turned 18. He has a disability so we have to meet with DVR who will help to get him in some sort of job. Doesn't look like he is leaving the house any time soon. I was able to get him a car and pay for it by taking the money I had put away for him for college. Since he isn't going, I used it for the car.

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