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NANCYRUBIO's Photo NANCYRUBIO Posts: 318,417
11/9/11 12:40 P

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Good reply from you, I hope you stick to your resolve!

Depression is the impression left by fear. Be willing to fight the fear. Conquer it with love.

Nancy Rubio
Oro Valley, AZ


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RESCOGITANS's Photo RESCOGITANS SparkPoints: (1,021)
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11/9/11 5:32 A

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Thanks for the replies, they brought a smile to my face and gave me a bit of a giggle.

You're so right: she really is a bully and I think she takes advantage of me and mum because she knows we don't like confrontation and don't like to end up in arguments so she sees us as soft and freely runs her mouth because she knows she can get away with it. But Saturday will soon be here and the troll will be gone. Halleluja!

I spent a few hours chatting to my mum about her and it turns out my sister actually shouted at her for watching too much TV... what the hell does she expect a woman recovering from a hip replacement to do with her time when she can't drive her car or go out into the garden? Besides, it's my mum's house and if she wants to watch TV she can! Anyway, I'm going to ignore her for the rest of the week and she how mad she gets hehe...

Thanks for letting me vent. Phew!

 current weight: 193.0 
 
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SAVANNAHZMOMMA1's Photo SAVANNAHZMOMMA1 Posts: 712
11/8/11 7:47 P

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It sounds to me like your sister is one of those who wants all the control and none of the responsibility. I like the previous post: ignore her. Know that you are doing things according to the priorities you set, and you set them for the reasons most appropriate to YOU. It worked before and it will work again. Don't let the meanie cause you to question your judgment. I think you are spot on right about her real reasons for griping--not concern about your mum.

I lived with this sort, and I know the behaviors and effects well. But know this: She will leave, and there will be peace again. Your home is your home and you must keep it running under your rules, and let this 41 year old bully pass the time and leave when the time comes.

Keep running and enjoy those new shoes! That will help keep you from giving her the decking she so richly deserves...

emoticon emoticon ... emoticon

Joy

Races Goal:
Sub 8:30/mile for a Springtime Race!
Volunteer at a race before June 2012!

Goal Winter & Spring 2012:
Develop an interesting cross-training routine that will be fun for my daughter to join in on.
10,000 steps/day whether running or walking.
Launch my SLEEP project!


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NANCYRUBIO's Photo NANCYRUBIO Posts: 318,417
11/8/11 3:36 P

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I hope you feel better venting and let your feelings out. Ignore her the rest of the week. That will drive her crazy. Stay in the home, be company for your mother. You only have to satisfy your self that you are doing enough. When you yell, you are giving her your power, you are doing what she wants. Go for a walk or to your bedroom when she starts. Let her yell at the wall. emoticon , it will drive her -----.

Depression is the impression left by fear. Be willing to fight the fear. Conquer it with love.

Nancy Rubio
Oro Valley, AZ


 Pounds lost: 42.0 
 
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RESCOGITANS's Photo RESCOGITANS SparkPoints: (1,021)
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11/8/11 1:03 P

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Last month my mum had a hip replacement and because my step dad works away she called my sister, who lives in North Wales, to ask her to stay with us for a few weeks and help out around the house. There's a big age difference between me and my sister; I'm 23 and she's 41, and we're two very different people. I try to avoid confrontation at all costs whereas she has absolutely no problem shouting her thoughts and opinions at everyone around her. She makes everyone feel really uncomfortable because her demeanour is just so brash and confrontational. We had an argument the other week over something stupid and when I started raising my voice she shouted back at me louder and said stuff like 'have some respect for your elders' - errr, excuse me?? This is MY home, I pay rent to live here, so who are you to start shouting at ME? She's no better than me just because she's older. She hasn't held down a steady job in nearly thirteen years and gets almost everything subsidised by the state yet I'm the one who had to move out of my apartment that I worked so hard for because I spent so much money going to weekly therapy sessions to help me through my final year of university which left me financially crippled and unable to afford the rent. While I was studying I couldn't get a single penny in the form of a grant, a bursary or a government subsidy to help me out with my rent, so I'll openly admit I have a chip on my shoulder but frankly I think I have every right to be angry and resentful when someone comes into my home and talks to me like dirt. I've been busy all day today; went to the gym for an hour and a half, came back to have something to eat, had a shower and got changed, did some laundry, went to town to buy some new running shoes (I was only out for 30 mins at the most), and when I came back at 2.30 I washed the dishes left over from lunch, vacuumed all downstairs, cleaned the kitchen, mopped the floor, took the dogs for a walk, and de-pooped the lawn, yet she had the gall to raise her voice at me and tell me she was 'pissed off' that the kitchen was a mess earlier in the day. BIG DEAL. I told her it got done, and she said it should have been sooner to prevent mum from wandering about when she should be resting. Well, clearly my mum hadn't been wandering about because she was upstairs on her laptop when I left to go to town and was still on it when I came back!! To be honest I really don't think any of this is because she's concerned about mum; this is all down to the fact she wants things done her way according to her schedule with no excuses or exceptions. Feel free to be a Nazi taskmaster in your own home but don't be one in mine. She's going home on Saturday and you have *no idea* how excited I am about coming home from work knowing she won't be here. In the meantime, however, I really need to find some way to fight the desire to deck her. I even looked up how to throw a punch on youtube just in case it ever does come to blows!!

God help me T___T

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