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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 125,012
12/2/12 10:01 A

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I always go into a funk when I have to leave my girls.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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LYNNWILK2's Photo LYNNWILK2 Posts: 2,608
11/24/12 9:20 P

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what do you do when you see a situation so clearly but every move you make just ends up with a mud bomb in ones face.
Grace is not something I am known for.
Dignity is something I stand for.
The two, being at opposing forces, makes the mine field more dangerous.


be authentically you...
it's journey, not a one day hike.

LYNNWILK2's Photo LYNNWILK2 Posts: 2,608
11/14/12 3:45 P

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WOW congratulations on reaching your goal weight and on maintaining your weight through and now with menopause.
Good luck with your future goals and the continued work of firming and moving through a new part of your journey.

be authentically you...
it's journey, not a one day hike.

LOVESTOWALK49's Photo LOVESTOWALK49 Posts: 705
11/14/12 3:12 P

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I've been to the doctor. Everything checks out okay. I have another physical in December. I went to the gynecologist today. I'm through menopause. My hormone levels and exam proved that. I have my energy back and I'm swimming a little less now. I still go swimming twice a week instead of five times a week. I guess I need variety in my exercise. I'm doing the exercise bike, walking and/or doing Zumba on other days.

I'm down to my second goal weight. I still have a bit of a belly and lot of loose flab there to lose. It's the last place I lose. I don't know if I want to go lower so I'll think about it. I'm eating a bit more so I'm not losing as fast as before.

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LYNNWILK2's Photo LYNNWILK2 Posts: 2,608
11/14/12 1:33 A

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Totally stressed out and I am 'barking' at all the wrong people. I have unhealthy adrenal glands, they burned out sort of. I produce excessive cortisol, which makes life exhausting sometimes and also makes it very difficult to loose weight and also to heal from infections. It affects the immune system and most of your hormone levels also.
I would give anything to be able to heal properly, to get back on top of my health.

I have read all the articles and talked to top endocrinologist and I have accepted the fact that this is something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. I have been dealing with it for most of my life. I am tired, my sleep is out of wack. I just want to be healthy and be able to get back to my normal routine of sleeping, swimming and maintaining this routine. I feel so much better when I am able to do that.

YES I am just venting, I need to be able to find some resolution to a long drawn out relationship brake up that doesn't leave me feeling guilty but rather like an adult who dealt with a man child in a proper way that will leave him with food for thought and a healthier person in the long run. I know I can't change anyone, but he is a great guy, just not MY great guy anymore.
I know I need to just take my meds, go to sleep and wake up tomorrow and start all over again, hopefully not feeling so exhausted and with clearer thoughts.
So, that is what I am going to to do.
I am just so tired of games people play with my head and heart. And the image of me I have let them adopt, because I am not that person.

be authentically you...
it's journey, not a one day hike.

LYNNWILK2's Photo LYNNWILK2 Posts: 2,608
11/7/12 9:28 A

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Thank you Tohikeaptrail, I hope you find your energy, I definitely understand the "just not feeling it" mood. I hope you get the pool mood back soon... and take care of that cold, they can be horrible! emoticon

be authentically you...
it's journey, not a one day hike.

LOVESTOWALK49's Photo LOVESTOWALK49 Posts: 705
11/7/12 5:58 A

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Lynn, focus on your health. The pool will be there.

I haven't swam myself for a few days. I'm feeling lethargic. I feel like all my energy and excitement about exercise disappeared this week. I'm still walking and doing my Zumba, but it's not the same. Zumba is still great. I walk since I don't have a car so I need to do it all the time. I can't get myself to go swimming. I just don't enjoy things as much this week. I wonder if it is a cold or if it's the new drug I'm on. I'm seeing the doctor Thursday. I hope he has an answer.


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LYNNWILK2's Photo LYNNWILK2 Posts: 2,608
11/7/12 1:26 A

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it's been a while since I've posted here. SInce October 24th I have been sick, first with a cold, that I believe got better and I went back to my exercise routine then I got drastically worse and finally got to see the doctor today... I have pneumonia, there is a super bug that is going around the state of NC that quickly turns the cold into walking pneumonia... I have been trying to manage alone with OTC meds but have just worn myself down. NOW, I am on antibiotics and narcotic cough syrup and best rest pretty much for the next 10-14 days. For the next 4 days I will be highly contagious (according to my doctor) 2 Z-packs seems to do the trick on this bug. So after the first one is done I will no longer be contagious but I will compromised to be reinfected, so my home is my sanctuary.
Supplies are planned to be brought to the door tomorrow to get me through the next week or so. My father will drop it off and wave at me through the window and I can go out and pick it up after he leaves. LOL... I feel so silly. BUT I hate that all exercise is on hold and I am so exhausted... and I try to sleep and am still working on getting the coughing under control.
SO Totally frustrated and absolutely exhausted I have been up and down trying to sleep... perhaps now that the elections have pretty much been finalized (for all practical purposes)... I will find some solace and comfort and I will be able to drift off into lala land, where I plan to visit quite frequently in the days to come.
I'm frustrated as I love my swimming and I miss it terribly!!!! But I need to get healthy again and let my lungs heal so I can start building up my endurance again.

be authentically you...
it's journey, not a one day hike.

LOVESTOWALK49's Photo LOVESTOWALK49 Posts: 705
10/23/12 7:48 A

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I'm having trouble reaching my calories for SP. I need more fiber in my diet due to IBS and other issues. I buy lots of vegetables to that end. I've read enough to know that the fiber in real food is better for the body than added fiber. I hate having food rot. Anyway, yesterday, I ate less than 600 calories and not because I wasn't trying. I ate three meals and that's better than most days.

I only once ate the minimum for my SP nutrition tracker. My fitness tracker wants me to increase my calories, but I can't reach the amounts for far less exercise than I do. I need to do the exercise since I plan to hike the AP trail in the spring and I need to be fit. I need to eat more but I can't force myself to eat high calorie foods. The best I can do is put full fat salad dressing on my salad and cook with oil. It isn't enough.

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MARYXXXXXX Posts: 65
8/19/12 11:47 A

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i know exactly how you feel. Sometimes people just have no clue how far we have come or what we have overcome. They can be terribly insensitive and we do end up feeling bad. Hang in there. It sounds to me like you are doing great.

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MYLOVELYCURVES's Photo MYLOVELYCURVES SparkPoints: (51,795)
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5/28/12 4:36 P

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I just started a new job today. I'm interning as a hotel receptionist, and for someone who gets nervous and anxious very easily, this is a HUGE challenge. Everything is new and no one has time to really teach me how everything works. My panic attacks usually start when I'm in a situation when I feel out of control - and that's what it felt like today at work. Dealing with customers when I feel like I'm about to start hyperventilating was so difficult but I tried to breathe deep and calm my nerves. Everyone seemed really nice and they made me feel so welcome, but I still felt this horrible knot in my stomach the whole time I was there. I'm sure it'll get easier in time when I get the hang of it and learn how everything works, but for now I'm just trying to keep myself together and not let my anxiety get to me.

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LYANNA75's Photo LYANNA75 Posts: 212
4/22/12 2:03 P

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Just wanted to get this off my chest... last night I was with two of my friends in Philly. We were trying to find a restaurant and were a bit lost. It was raining, I was cold.... and I couldn't read the map on my iPhone, so I had a little bit of a melt down and had a panic attack. My friends started lecturing me about how I need to chill out and stop letting all the stupid little things get to me. They were "advising" me on breathing techniques and coping mechanisms. For people who have NEVER had panic attacks in their 37 year long lives, they sure know allllll about how to fix it.

I was just pissed -- this was the first panic attack that I've had in almost a year. I haven't had to take Xanax in all that time, I haven't had that "Oh my gosh I'm going to die" feeling. And then I have one mini panic attack and they jump all over me and make me feel like crap -- and then of course that triggered more anxiety later on in the night wondering if they were talking about me and how I panicked in the middle of Philly (they were staying at the same place after I went home).

Gah! Just had to get that out. :)

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PRAYINGSUZIE's Photo PRAYINGSUZIE SparkPoints: (85,997)
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4/22/12 12:34 P

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I have been so frustrated, depressed, and anxious for the past month. I no longer have a job and the stress of not finding one is killing me. I have gained ten pounds from stress eating! I feel as thought I can't do anything right! My life is a anxious mess!

Suzie


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LOSEITLINDSAY's Photo LOSEITLINDSAY Posts: 276
4/14/12 5:32 P

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Okay, I've really done it, now.....

It isn't a life or death situation. It isn't even a crisis. It is such a minor disappointment in the grand scheme of things, and I'm blowing it way out of proportion!

Like so many people with anxiety disorders, I often get my mind on something and obsess about it until it becomes a problem.

For my 50 lb weight loss goal, I decided that I would take a hot air balloon ride. It's pretty expensive. It's something my boyfriend (of 8+ yrs) and I have wanted to do for a long time. I've been hoping that he'll FINALLY ask me to marry him, and I thought this might be the event where it actually happens. I was extremely excited when he told me that he wanted to plan it. He picked out a weekend and had some ideas about other things we could do.

And then, by the end of that conversation, he seemed much less excited and much more anxious about planning and expectations and spending money.

It has been a few weeks. I've kept his original weekend open that he suggested, but my schedule is starting to fill up. I have nearly every weekend booked up with something until the end of JUNE! So, I started freaking out because he was hesitant about that weekend again. I hadn't heard anything more about it. I tried to ask him when he was thinking, and he said he wasn't sure. He didn't have any kind of urgency about it. It upset me because I want to do it NOW. Well, at least 3.5 lbs. from now. I have waited enough in my life. I'm finally starting to MAKE things happen in my life. I'm 30. I have no engagement or wedding ring on my finger. I want to have kids. I want to be at a healthy weight. I want to manage my depression and anxiety so that it doesn't ruin my life like it almost did over the last 2 years. I want my hot air balloon ride, and I want HIM to plan it like he said he was going to!!!!

I didn't tell him all that, but I got my point across. I got emotional. He said he didn't want to plan it anymore. I told him to just drop it, because I wasn't going to plan it. I want him to plan it. I'm pretty sure I just succeeded in killing the event, souring him to the idea of it, and just overall making things SOOOOO much worse than they needed to be.

Even if we do take the hot air balloon ride, I doubt that he'll propose. I doubt that he plans it. I bet I end up doing it. Why do I always ruin stuff like this with my anxiety and stupid expectations. I built it up too much, and now I'm crushed. Way to go.....anxiety blows. I am way too emotional about all of this today.

Thanks for letting me vent.

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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 125,012
3/30/12 5:14 P

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I've had a stretch of a couple weeks now where something bad and/or stressful has happened every day. It's getting old.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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SPIRALINGUP's Photo SPIRALINGUP Posts: 683
3/7/12 8:08 A

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Thanks so much for your support! All great ideas. I forget them when I'm in that state. I appreciate your sharing. emoticon

DEBPRE16's Photo DEBPRE16 SparkPoints: (20,133)
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3/6/12 8:42 P

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Yes I have had panic attacks during the night while I was sleeping. I don't know why they happen but I do know my body has just released flight or fight chemicals into my blood that I don't need. I am in no true danger - I just feel like it.

I cope by telling myself that all that was in my mind was just a dream - I tell myself I don't have to dwell on the dream but I can let it go. I ask myself what will help me feel better right now - I usually ask myself - a hot bath? to listen to music? to do a relaxation tape? to watch an old tv show - I like The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Bewitched and The Odd Couple - just shows that make me feel happy. If I can I just lay in bed - after I get up to the bathroom and do my self relaxation - relaxing each part of my body from my feet up but sometimes I really need to get up. I take a medicine ativan and if I can't calm myself - I take one and tell myself that I will feel better soon. That I am safe and I am okay.

I hope something I put here will help you. Remember too - others go through this. I hope you can find ways to soothe yourself when this happens. I try to think what would I do for a friend that was feeling this and do it for myself.

and I do my deep breathing saying relax to myself - I usually start with this and try to get a calmness started - doesn't always work though.

Edited by: DEBPRE16 at: 3/6/2012 (20:55)
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SPIRALINGUP's Photo SPIRALINGUP Posts: 683
3/6/12 8:16 A

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I'm wondering why more members don't post on this thread. What a good opportunity to vent our anxiety and get support. Anyway...

Occasionally I still get night terrors. I'm aware I'm in a scary dream and try to tell someone to please wake me up. I can go a long time without these, but wondering what makes it happen? I can have a great day and go to sleep happy and calm and then wake up from sleep anxiety.

Anyone else have this experience?



PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 125,012
3/4/12 2:11 P

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I hate computers

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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SPIRALINGUP's Photo SPIRALINGUP Posts: 683
2/27/12 2:15 P

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I want to get past the panic attacks. My world has become too small. I'm keeping a log of what I do everyday to challenge myself. I hope over time I will progress, but I've had this problem for a long time. I want to fly again so I can visit my son.

GALINACTION's Photo GALINACTION Posts: 55
2/7/12 4:30 P

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Edited by: GALINACTION at: 5/7/2012 (15:54)
At my lowest weight since 2002




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CRYZTAL6's Photo CRYZTAL6 Posts: 128
1/1/12 11:03 P

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I am stressing out today because its getting to me that my boyfriend lives with his mother. She is a bit controlling. I don't want to continue spending every weekend at his mothers house with him. I wish he and I would live together but I feel like its wrong of me to rush him on that. So today the stress of this was building up and really getting to me. Thanks for reading.

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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 125,012
12/21/11 5:37 P

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I've got a serious case of the Christmas blues that I can't shake

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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RAGNAROX248's Photo RAGNAROX248 SparkPoints: (4,268)
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12/15/11 11:27 A

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It's typically not like me to just shoot it out like this but you know I feel like if I don't get what's going on out of my system I'll pop like a volcano soon. I'm so sick of everything, yes this is a very blunt term. Let's simplify.

Doctors are taking me off of the Cymbalta due to the sleeping problems they've put me on Ambien to try and help with the sleeping while the Cymbalta get's out of my system. They've switched me back to Paxil which I don't have much faith in and they said they're predicting it may not work, they're predicting I may have some Bi-Polar along with the GAD which can definately be helping cause as many of the sleeping problems that I have. I've just been extremely moody lately nothing's made me happy mostly because of this sleeping mess. I'll sleep wake up feeling worse than I went to bed. And the sleeping pill is making me sleepy during the daytime so I'm having to go back to Caffeine to make it through the day now which is something I never wanted to do. Life is driving me crazy all the doctors and people keep telling me I'm too young for this many things to be wrong with me. Sometimes I wish there was a way out of this, if death is the answer sometime's I'm not to hesitant to get this over with. I'm sick of fighting I'm turning into a complete nut job that can't sleep, can't stay awake through work, is too irritable by not sleeping to have relationship with family and friends, and there's really no help in site it looks like. Doctors now want to send me to have a psychiatric evaluation to determine what all mental conditions are in play we already know for sure there's GAD, and OCD, now there's probably more. At this point I'm not even sure if I want to go through with it. It's obvious now there's no way to fix this...

~~"The Night is an Eternal Playground, Meant for those with Strong Minds"~~


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 125,012
12/7/11 9:15 A

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I hate being sick, especially this time of year when there's so much to do

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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NANCYRUBIO's Photo NANCYRUBIO Posts: 318,417
11/12/11 4:34 P

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First off, thank you for warning us about energy drinks.
I think you have to give your body and minds rest. They need time to rebound after all you have been throught. Allow your body recovery time, please. Sorry I can't be more help.

Depression is the impression left by fear. Be willing to fight the fear. Conquer it with love.

Nancy Rubio
Oro Valley, AZ


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RAGNAROX248's Photo RAGNAROX248 SparkPoints: (4,268)
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11/11/11 9:03 A

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I apologize in advance for the length of this but the whole story of what's been going on in my life has really in ways destroyed my life from the inside out. I was at WVU working on a Master's Degree, working at the College and had 2 semester's left before finishing. Turned out because of how my previous degree didn't transfer right I had to take some undergraduate courses there. Well I got set down with the dean and removed from the school because I was a Graduate Student working towards and undergraduate degree. Just 2 semester's shy of finishing. Now I found myself in Morgantown alone, with no job or way to pay the bills. So I spent night and day sending out resume's everywhere not hearing back from anyone. It was maddening watching all the money I had to my name fly out the window, until one night, June 1st. I was drinking an energy drink and started feeling like I was having a heart attack. My now fiance rushed me to the ER at 1 in the morning where my BP was 168/118 and pulse was over 200. They doped my system down with medications ran chest X-Ray, Blood Enzyme Tests, and EKG of the heart. Everything came back normal. After getting me leveled back out they discovered I had overdosed on Caffeine constantly using energy drinks to stay up to apply to jobs. The heart attack sensation was a Panic Attack, the first I had ever had. Needless to say afterwards more tests were issued, a CT Scan of the heart, Thyroid tests, ultrasound of liver, kidneys, gallbladder, all of which came back fine. Yet the Anxiety hung around developing Acid Reflux during this time.

It was so bad that I simply stopped eating, any time I would make an attempt to eat I would throw it back up and lost almost 40 lbs in 3 weeks. After that I was admitted into a mental health facility for a week to try and get a system of medications that could hold back some of the anxiety. At the end of it it finally worked and I got on the combination that's working for me now. The problem however was that the stomach problems started getting worse I was told by the doctor I needed to get an Endoscopy and Colonoscopy which I'm in the middle of now and after finally having the anxiety somewhat under control now it is through the roof 24/7 again I can't sleep I can barely eat, and my BP for the first time in my life is staying elevated constantly. I just can't shake this and really don't know how much more I can keep fighting it!

~~"The Night is an Eternal Playground, Meant for those with Strong Minds"~~


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ALASKANMOMOF2's Photo ALASKANMOMOF2 SparkPoints: (38,068)
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10/15/11 10:11 P

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Was told my dad will have brain surgery on October 28th, then told to tell my brother and sister since my mom doesn't have anything else to say to them. I'm sorry, WHAT?!?!?! She did end up sending them an email after I *had* called them, but it was a horrible couple of days. Today, she made some other statements that raised my anxiety and anger at the same time. All I can do, currently, is breathe and keep the lines of communications open as much as I can. All will be as it is, but that doesn't mean I'll like it.

Carrie

Co-Leader of Dealing with Anxiety Team

~~~~~~~~~~
It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is.

Hermann Hesse


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NANCYRUBIO's Photo NANCYRUBIO Posts: 318,417
10/7/11 2:29 P

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So sorry about your dream-anyone would be stressed out waiting for results of ones master
dgree. Don't know how to tell you to stop worrying, I don't think there is a good way.

Depression is the impression left by fear. Be willing to fight the fear. Conquer it with love.

Nancy Rubio
Oro Valley, AZ


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RESCOGITANS's Photo RESCOGITANS SparkPoints: (1,021)
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10/6/11 8:28 A

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I had a dream/nightmare last night that I got the results of my masters degree and I'd failed. Trying not to think about it but I can't bear to imagine what will happen if I do fail.

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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 125,012
9/13/11 7:55 A

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The way my boss treats me definitely stresses me out.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 125,012
9/6/11 4:10 P

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Why is it that every business is crazy busy the day after a holiday? And the customers are never in a good mood.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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NANCYRUBIO's Photo NANCYRUBIO Posts: 318,417
8/4/11 6:38 P

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WoW--hope you feel better now. I am sory you have to work undwer those conditions.

Depression is the impression left by fear. Be willing to fight the fear. Conquer it with love.

Nancy Rubio
Oro Valley, AZ


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 125,012
8/4/11 9:32 A

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My boss is over-bearning, over-critical, not willing to train me and a control freak.

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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NANCYRUBIO's Photo NANCYRUBIO Posts: 318,417
7/26/11 3:02 P

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I agree, I hate waiting for results. I always make sure I get a copy, it makes life much easier.

Depression is the impression left by fear. Be willing to fight the fear. Conquer it with love.

Nancy Rubio
Oro Valley, AZ


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 125,012
7/24/11 6:29 P

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I hate how it takes so long to get test results in a hospital

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 125,012
7/18/11 3:45 P

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I'm having a "miss my daughters" day

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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PATTYKLAVER's Photo PATTYKLAVER Posts: 125,012
6/24/11 11:55 A

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I hate days where nothing seems to go right and you just want to go to bed so you don't have anything else go wrong!

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.


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MOMMA48's Photo MOMMA48 Posts: 570,157
5/28/11 6:48 A

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I have the same sort of relationship with my primary also, but when all the specialists start coming in the picture, I want to follow and try the meds they prescribe, but they don't know my body chemistry or really me, my autoimmune issues are also noted on the charts, but, as I've only seen them once or so, they aren't that familiar with how I react with combining meds. When I have tried the various meds for nerve ending issues which began when they discovered the tumor on my spine, they totally knocked me for a loop emoticon and I miss my active way of living. So, I guess, I'm more of a find out what the diagnosis is first. I wish I could get all of the new specialists into one room and let's sit down and see what is the FINAL diagnosis and then it's time to prescribe, but until then, nerve ending blockers??? there are way too many nerve endings in a body and, just in case, the issue is caused from something totally different, I don't want to take something that could possibly cause more damage in the long run -- than narrowing it all down to one diagnosis and one new med added to my list. Problem being, the first available appointment with my next "new" specialist is set for August 1st. So, somehow I need to get my back specialist, gastroenterologist, neurosurgeon, neurologist, and August 1st rheumatologist, plus, my primary, all together and let's come up with the final answer and then prescribe. But in the meantime, I feel uneasy mixing this with that and that with this -- even though I know they do their interactive drug checks, but if we don't have to prescribe for one thing and find out the problem all along was due to something else, I'd rather bypass the negative side effects that I have had with the 2 new meds they've tried so far if at all possible.

Patience and learning -- that's where I feel like I'm at now -- but, that's the biggest problem of all! I'm not an overly patient person as I love to be active, feeling like me and not groggy all day. Life is too precious to feel like sleeping the days away due to meds -- but, that's just me! Family, working to support my family and pay the bills and enjoying other activities in my life are too important to me -- so I just have to hang in there and, cross my fingers and say my prayers that an answer will be found and then treated.

Edited by: MOMMA48 at: 5/28/2011 (07:57)
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5/27/11 5:26 P

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If it works--do it. My primary is very different, more modern. If it works, use it. If not let me know and I'll write something up for you. I had a problem with the side of the eye. He said another patient told him she used something and it worked. I should try it, it did, it worked.
Love my doctor

Depression is the impression left by fear. Be willing to fight the fear. Conquer it with love.

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5/27/11 8:14 A

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I'm getting a bit frustrated at the fact that one of my drs. wants to put me on a nerve blocker -- I've tried them, I feel overly awful due to the side effects. But, the main thing is, I don't want to keep taking pills for every thing! I'm good with my anti-depressants and those for other medical conditions -- but no more pills, please! So, I'm playing dr. in ways and using a topical gel instead of more pills -- I know they may not like it -- but it sure beats the feelings I have with more meds!

Edited by: MOMMA48 at: 5/27/2011 (08:15)
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5/21/11 1:07 P

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Thanks for allowing us to vent. I must remember, to come here. Great ide and I for one will use this,
a





Depression is the impression left by fear. Be willing to fight the fear. Conquer it with love.

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5/20/11 9:32 P

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Yeah you've totally got it. I'm sure you know exactly how I'm feeling which is such a relief for me (Finally! Someone out there knows!!!) I set up an appt. with my therapist/meds doctor for next week so hopefully we can figure out a med change that will help. Thank you so much for the support I needed to take that step. emoticon

Your poor man! Just reading that made me on edge. But at least now he knows how you feel. My boyfriend is sleeping next to me right now and I'm going to give him a huge kiss on the cheek (without waking him!) Because you're right, just putting up with me and being there for me is so much more than a lot of people would do.

Thank you again for your support, I really needed it emoticon

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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5/20/11 9:04 P

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I know exactly what you mean -- once we find a combo that works -- we hate to think of changing it. And, I did a quick check on-line as to Cymbalta AND Trazodone -- and, since they are both supposed to help with sleep, etc., you shouldn't take them together and I'm sure your dr. will tell you the same. Remember, I'm not a dr., but just someone who has gone through alot of meds through the years -- but your dr. will be able to do a med check interaction and see what combinations are helpful and safe and which are not, plus offer more help so you're more able to shorten those attacks and even, hopefully, ward them off! But -- call your dr. first and remember don't be hesitant to go to the walk-in clinic or ER if those feelings happen again and for that length of time.

And, sorry for the long reply -- but just to pass along something that happened in our family and gave my hubby a whole different look on panic attacks. I don't think he ever really understood what it felt like either -- until he had to have a MRI where he was strapped down and in the tube he went. He was okay for a few minutes and then the panic hit! He couldn't move, didn't see anyone nearby and the fight and flight feeling began. He had gone to the testing on his own, as he didn't think it was going to be any big deal. But, he was wrong -- even after the test, he thought he was going to the grocery store and he actually went to a department store that was next to the grocery store. Ever since, he has a different viewpoint on anxiety and panic attacks. We can somewhat laugh about it now -- but there was no laughing going on that day! It's a difficult area to explain to others in words, but just having someone who loves you and is there to support you and wants to understand, even though they haven't gone through an attack themselves, is a true blessing, so give your bf an extra great hug for being as wonderful as he is and is by your side to show that same love, care and support.

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5/20/11 8:09 P

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Don't worry, I'm totally the same with the meds. Right now I'm on Cymblata, Abilify, Klonopin, and Serequel, but I've taken so many in the past it feels a little scary to try and mess with what I have now, if that makes sense?

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5/20/11 8:04 P

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Nope -- it wasn't that med -- they tried me on so many over the years, now I have to think of which one it was. But, another thing I wanted to pass along is, when you talk to your dr., ask about Trazadone. I'm on that now as well as my other meds and it helps you get a great night's sleep and I don't even remember having any dreams! I'm not sure if it is because it puts you in a deeper sleep sooner or exactly the whats and hows -- but I know it works great for me. The only thing is for me, and it's a common side effect, is that you MUST take it at bedtime as you'll feel dizzy and uncoordinated if you take it any sooner and it definitely isn't anything you'd want to take during the day. But, I just swallow one when I'm already laying down -- and out go the lights! No more racing thoughts, restless legs, as it seems to work fast with me, and I'm a super sensitive person when it comes to meds, but ask your dr. about it and see if it is something that he/she thinks would work well with the meds you're on now or any other they'd like to switch you to or give a try with.

But, now you have me thinking of which med that was --- through the years they have tried Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, Buspar, Immipramine, Wellbutrin, Celexa and more -- but I think we finally have a combo that works -- Generic Zoloft, Klonopin and Xanax, as needed. And, a Trazadone at bedtime. But, let us know what your dr. says -- and I'll keep trying to think of which med it was. emoticon So many years and so many meds! Yikes!

Edited by: MOMMA48 at: 5/20/2011 (20:07)
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5/20/11 7:26 P

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Ah thank you so much. It's good to know I'm not alone- especially with the nightmare-esque quality of the attacks.. I don't mean to get too personal and you don't have to respond if it is too personal but was the medication you were talking about called Serequel? Because ever since I've been on that my dreams have been almost too realistic- sometimes I literally can't differentiate between dreams and reality.

I'm really sorry to hear about your ER visits but it seems like you've gotten at least some control over it, yes? I totally hear you about the embarrassment. It seems like guilt and embarrassment are my two go-to emotions during and after my attacks.

My boyfriend is the best... but I don't think e truly understands what it's like to have anxiety and depression issues. I love him so much, but sometimes he just wants to fix it even though he can't.. if that makes sense?

I'll call my doctor right now and talk to her about the serequel for sure, thank you so much for the suggestion.

Thank you so much, your caring has gotten me through this day. emoticon

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5/20/11 6:49 P

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First things first, hun! You are not a terrible person! And, I'm saying that with a smile and hug to you, my friend. I've had panic attacks also and, for me, they usually lasted for a few hours -- but as I got older, I found, I didn't have panic attacks, but rather it turned more into hyperventilating. So, to the ER I went -- hook me up and check my heart and more! And, yes, it was embarrassing for me at first as I felt like I had no control over my body -- I couldn't breath, concentrate and negative thoughts kept racing through my mind. So, I hear ya on the nightmare feeling of it all. So, after visiting the ER maybe 3 or so times for the same issue, my dr. changed the dosages of my anti-depressants and it seems to have taken care of the feelings. I still get anxious and my stomach gets upset, but those nightmare feelings have passed.

Have you checked with your dr. as to your meds and dosages you're on. Maybe they need to be re-evaluated and/or changed. Also, I remember being on an anti-depressant that had the side-effect of more vivid dreams, etc., which I had and which is why the dr. took me off of it. Just a thought--and same with, here it comes, girlfriend -- that lovely time of the month! Sometimes even with hormonal changes, our body's chemistry can do some pretty powerful stuff! Plain and simple! And, being 50 and soon 51, I'm at my "peak" let's say as to feeling a difference in my anxiety those 2 weeks before.

But, you have a great boyfriend and friends who understand and support you which is so wonderful to have. People love and care about you, hun! And, that is always such a blessing to know and feel -- you're not alone.

So, give your dr. a call and see what he/she says about this latest attack and maybe they can check your meds and offer more advice to help. And, if you ever have this sort of feeling again that lasts this long, go to your local walk-in clinic and they can offer you some immediate relief.

Take care, hun, and let us know how things are going for you in the days ahead. emoticon

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5/20/11 6:18 P

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OK, here goes... yesterday I had a 12 hour panic attack. Like, what? That's never happened to me before. 1, 2 hours maybe. Not 12. And just when I thought it was over I became so anxious trying to get to bed that every small noise I heard (In BROOKLYN with the WINDOWS OPEN) I would jump and gasp and grab onto my poor boyfriend. I've never been so terrified in my life. I kept imagining literally monsters and things that used to give me extreme anxiety when I was very small! Yesterday was so embarrassing... my panic attack had me running out into the street dry heaving and screaming stopping the car my poor boyfriend was in to get to work telling him that I needed someone with me. So he called his best friend's fiance Jessica who took care of me all day until Rich came home again. She was actually very helpful.. but it was so embarrassing. I feel so ashamed. I'm also scared about my reaction to my anxious thoughts last night. I was shaking and screaming.. it was like when I was little and used to have "temper tantrums" I have no idea what could have sparked this. But I do know that I lost the best job oppurtunity I've ever had because I've been sick in bed all day and couldn't go to the paperwork meeing at three. I didn't even call. I'm a terrible person.

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5/20/11 5:53 P

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emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Everyone needs to release those feelings at times -- and here is a great way to do it and with friends who understand!

Let those feelings out and we're here to help you if we can with how to handle a situation, or to pass along our feeling of understanding and more!

Just please remember, no names of Sparks' members should be referred to or mentioned -- as we want those feelings out and not to hurt another person here.

Let it out -- everyone -- we're always here for you!!! emoticon

Edited by: MOMMA48 at: 5/20/2011 (17:54)
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