Hi there, I just read your comments about grief. It is so true, everything that has happened in my life is a grief process. Even the small things. Leaving a house I loved, moving from a town I love. I am not capable of going fishing anymore, Knitting, I miss that also. Having to move into a small apartment from a house. I can name any number of things that I have had to deal with that are counted as a loss to me. Many of these are just as important as losing my dtr, 2 close friends, parents, divorce,& more.
Thank God for Al-anon, it truly is a godsend for me. When God closes a door, he opens a window, so there are other things now for me to enjoy. One of which is the computer. I wish you well on your journey. Keep going back, it works.
Saturday morning we talked about how our family dynamics growing up have and still are affecting our adult lives. That's exactly the same thing we've been talking about in my Family Group also. Funny how those cycles start so early in our life and just keep on going so automatically. Have to recognize what's happening in order to change or break the cycle.
current weight: 228.0
Fitness Minutes: (5,689) Posts: 480 4/23/09 8:23 A
TZ, I'm sorry to hear about your injury, that sounds more painful than I'd care to deal with :-( I hope you feel some relief soon. I couldn't find a band aid or something restorative, so I'm offering sunshine :-)
I made sure to have my morning quiet time this a.m. with my fountain turned on, the water sounds really relax me and add to my serenity. I have the 3 daily Al Anon books to read, and one from OA, Food For Thought. I know whenever I start a day with my daily readings, it always seems a little brighter for me and I can feel a little hope that maybe I wouldn't otherwise feel.
I have bothe those books, you recently bought. I have almost finished the one on relationships. I haven't started transforming our losses yet. I haven't been to a meeting in over two weeks as I pulled cartilage that attaches itself to the ribs and to the sternum. It is quite painful.
My goals for the swim suit weight challenge are: 1, Lose 4 lbs. 2, Go down a dress size 3. See how many inches I have lost.
One day at a time.
Pounds lost: 22.0
Fitness Minutes: (5,689) Posts: 480 4/22/09 5:58 P
Hi everyone. I went to my meeting today, after a rather surreal experience of not being able to find my way there. I've been to that meeting probably at least 100 times, but today, I just had no sense of direction and kept driving in circles and not getting there. Eventually I did, only to discover I didn't bring my glasses with me, which I never used to do. Things are quite fuzzy without them.
So I got into my meeting, and today's topic was the slogans.
About half of the discussion left me wanting to bawl my eyes out. I realized how truly immeshed I am in some of the insanity parts of our disease, and I HAVE been working my program a little more lately, but I realized this morning how much I've relapsed.
Al Anon has put out two books recently, one about relationships, which I've bought but not had a chance to start, and then today I bought the other one about Transforming Our Losses, on handling the different areas of grief that can be in your life. and it struck such a tender nerve. I am facing that I have tremendous amounts of grief regarding my niece that I don't quite know what to do with. I'm writing the letters that my counselor recommended, but that's not taking care of the whole gamut of feelings swirling around inside of me. So, I truly hope this book can give me some direction.
I came home and watched a film on demand that I've been anxious to see, "The Wrestler" with Mickey Rourke. He did a phenomenal acting job in it, but then at the end, I found myself bawling my eyes out and rocking myself back and forth sobbing out to my Higher Power that I needed help, I couldn't handle this anymore on my own. I cried for quite awhile.
I need to take care of me, and pronto, I just wish I had a little better sense of direction on exactly what I'm supposed to do.
I'll keep praying about it for guidance and direction.
Meanwhile, I thought this link might be nice for anyone to talk about what they experienced in their meeting that week.
I can see now I desperately need to go regularly.
Trying to be an island at a time like this isn't helping me at all.
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