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CHAVELA5's Photo CHAVELA5 SparkPoints: (23,682)
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6/11/09 11:13 P

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well good things can happen and good luck to your sister hope she gets the job

'"FITNESS IS A JOURNEY NOT A DESTINATION. IT MUST BE CONTINUED FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE." DR. KENNETH COOPER. "IF YOU CAN SEE IT YOU CAN ACHIEVE IT. DON'T LET ANYBODY TELL YOU THAT YOU CAN'T DO IT." JENNIFER HUDSON DoneGirlSexySpinachTeam


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PHOENIXHASRISEN's Photo PHOENIXHASRISEN Posts: 1,862
6/11/09 9:39 P

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you can always turn to frozen veggies and fruit, those are much cheaper and have the same value. You can always stock up on legumes. They are healthy and dirt cheap. I also find that a bowl of soup (veggie puree) goes a long way. I usually make a large pot under 5 dollars and I freeze portions to last me the whole week.

HOT TO TROT and a HARD TO HANDLE CUTIE!

"Il faut profiter de la vie!"
"Fall seven times, stand up eight!"
"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet"
"There is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs."


slowlygettingmylifeback.blogspot.com
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LYDIASPURPLE's Photo LYDIASPURPLE Posts: 2,516
6/11/09 9:03 P

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Nothing like team work. Brava!

Weigh to grow!

"It takes awhile to build a dream"~Terry McMillian,author.

"All that you are seeking is seeking you"~ Franz Kafla


"Never argue with what is"~Unknown

"Who you are at 20 shiuld not be who you are at 40. If it is, somethings wrong"~ Tyler Perry

"Just because you can means you should"~Terry McMillian

"Do not look for the fault;search for the remedy"~Unknown

 




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SERENA24's Photo SERENA24 Posts: 220
6/11/09 8:19 P

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Thank you to everyone who reponded. Your advice, kind words, and encouragment definelty lifted me up from mentally being stuck in my situation. I'm sorry for my reply coming so late, however, in the meantime some good changes happened with my family! A couple of days ago, my sister had an interview with an organization that she really likes. In addition, my family and I have started walking together and becoming more creative with how we cook our food. Thank you all again for the support and love :)

Serena emoticon emoticon

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TRACYZABELLE's Photo TRACYZABELLE SparkPoints: (138,801)
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6/8/09 6:28 A

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See if they have angelfoodministries in your area it is a great resource. Also check into churshes with pantries and food banks as well. It is so hard out there nowadays. ONe of the best places to look for a job is in the hospital, they always need help there! Best of luck to you!

One bite, one day, one pound at a time. Remember you are worth the effort!

Leader W8Watchers friends http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_
individual.asp?gid=865

Tracy


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SEMIPRECIOUS's Photo SEMIPRECIOUS Posts: 270
6/7/09 3:40 P

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I always think it's ironic that it's more expensive to eat food that is the way nature intended and cheaper to eat processed junk. I don't think it was always this way, and I think it's just a real moral crisis that the people who need natural whole foods the most can't afford them, usually.

I'm really sorry to hear of your struggles. Everyone seems to be fighting this in some form or another. You've got a ton of good advice here, and you've also got a lot of good support, which is really the main thing that seems to help people.

I have a friend who was in a similar situation as you and he started volunteering with the state parks on the weekends. He lost a ton of weight patrolling the areas and eventually they offered him a job. Maybe volunteering in a place that will keep you active is a good way to go and might lead you to networking and landing a job, too.

You might think that your circumstances are an excuse (we all have them) but I can guarantee you that any and all success that you have through this will make your journey that much sweeter, and your success story will be an amazing and uplifting one--an inspiration to other people.

You can do this. We're all pulling for you.

We must be careful what we pretend to be, because we are what we pretend to be.-Kurt Vonnegut


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LYDIASPURPLE's Photo LYDIASPURPLE Posts: 2,516
6/7/09 11:09 A

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Hi Serena
Your thread caught my attention and I saw the poignancy here. I wanted to wait & read others remarks before I commented on it.

One of the 1st things I would say to you is poverty is NEVER am excuse. It is a real economic state and can adversely affect how one can navigate life let along a process or weight release.

I hope you will get that out of your mind at some point.

I am a person who went from a $60,000+ income to living on $12,000. I went from a 3 bedroom home to living in 500 sq ft with all my belonings mainly in storge as I navigate through this period.
I will say to you "this too will pass". Its what's in between can be so hard.

Some of this I can say becausse I may have some years on you whereas you have a long life ahead. Buv because I've been there done thatI can promise you it will not always be this way.

You have one advanvage which will be your svrongest suit, a college degree, but be mindful a degree is a tool, a key not not your life.

I've come up with all kinds of creative means to provide for myself. I've not yet applied for food stamps as others have suggested, not that I am ashamed to do so as I've been vaxes and want tools in place, but simply I have not been able to get to apply.

Having said that when you have linited funds to care for your needs you will learn numerous creative ways to eat healthy, wisely & that includes working out.

I concur with many here walking is cheap & free unless walking through your neighborhood is unsafe.
Ilive ina ohysically beautiful area however my neighborhood isn't very condusive for walking no sidewalks you have to walk in the street. And very hilly. I have 2 bad knees+MS so where I have to be careful I am on a level surface. But I was actually able to map out roughly about 2 miles round vrip where the ground is pretty level and walk during early morning or mid afternoon hours when there is minimum traffic.

And exercising (no pun intended) caution since I walk alone & live alone. Ironically there is a walking trail off street, but again as a lone single woman I would not want to be walking back up in the woody area. Is there a high school with a track field you can use in off hours?

Are there community gardens nearby that you can have access to to buy healthy food?

A key component to holding on to fat is stress and poverty is highly stressful in many ways. It is expesive to be poor. Lots of people take advantage of the vulnerability of being poor & people of modest means.

So you have to become your own advocate. Challenge yourself in finding inventive ways o get things done. It does not have to be an either/or existence. Watch out for cliches or thoughts yours and others that cannot elevate you. Or lift you up!. No matter where it comes from. You will undoubtably have low periods, we all do. It is being human, but please do be kind to yourself.

Women tend to be prone toward putting ourselves down quickly. We may show kindness to other and would never think to be harsh, but will beat up on ourselves quickly, decidely way harsher then the situation deserves.

I recall a quote of Jessie Jackson Jr from decades ago of "It is you attitude, not your aptitude that will get you to the altitude you so richly deserve".

Although she is one of my favorite people,Dr. Angelou, I am not a fan of the quote "If it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger". For me it smakcs of accepting suffering as acceptable. it is not (for me)

Yes you will gain resilence, fortitude and strength going through trying times which is what I think she was trying to convey. But I hear far too many women quote this as a way of life or surviving rather then thriving as if their is nobility there in being killed. One can indeed be noble in a trial without a doubt, but I do not want trials to be a way of life for me.

You've done a good thing coming to sparks. So much information here that will be healtful, truly affordable and works. I would suggest anovher one www.onebodyonelifetime.com It is no where near as extensive as this one but there is a free newsletter I think benefits can come from.

I do not have it all together (yet) I am a work in progress. I do not plan or will to stay out in my current situation, but when I fell resignation, I do look for this too will pass.

I know there is always a way out of NO WAY.

You'll do it, after all you successful made it all the way through college!

Go for it!






"It takes awhile to build a dream"~Terry McMillian,author.

"All that you are seeking is seeking you"~ Franz Kafla


"Never argue with what is"~Unknown

"Who you are at 20 shiuld not be who you are at 40. If it is, somethings wrong"~ Tyler Perry

"Just because you can means you should"~Terry McMillian

"Do not look for the fault;search for the remedy"~Unknown

 




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AJINMN's Photo AJINMN Posts: 2,817
6/7/09 8:25 A

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For workout tips there are the online workouts here on SP. I haven't tried them personally because my recumbent bike is in the same room as my computer and I don't have the room to do it. I know lots of people who like them. Also, the walking idea is fantastic. If it is hot where you live try to go in the morning before it gets too hot. I am ready for the day if I get my exercise in in the morning. Don't walk in flip flops, but use a decent pair of shoes.

I like soups, but when it's hot you don't always want soups. I'm also a casserole person (we call them hot dishes in MN). I always have leftovers with them, even with a family of 4 including a farmer husband with a big appetite and an 11 year old boy who can eat more than me.

I agree with the food stamps. That program was designed to help families get back on their feet. Your mother has contributed with her tax dollars as she's worked. So has anyone else in your household. You will also when you get your job. It is a temporary help, so don't feel ashamed.

Good luck with the job and internship searches.

Success is just around the corner for the person who refuses to quit.

Everything is permissible - but not everything is beneficial (1 Corinthians 10:23)
CHAVELA5's Photo CHAVELA5 SparkPoints: (23,682)
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6/6/09 11:59 P

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Wow you have gotten alot of good advice done be ambarassed to ask for help when you need it, i am so sorry about your living situation maybe you can alternate nights on the bed with your sister anyways i hope that things get better for you and take care

'"FITNESS IS A JOURNEY NOT A DESTINATION. IT MUST BE CONTINUED FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE." DR. KENNETH COOPER. "IF YOU CAN SEE IT YOU CAN ACHIEVE IT. DON'T LET ANYBODY TELL YOU THAT YOU CAN'T DO IT." JENNIFER HUDSON DoneGirlSexySpinachTeam


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NADIA83LBS2GO's Photo NADIA83LBS2GO Posts: 1,171
6/6/09 10:13 P

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Hey there!

I am so sorry about all your money troubles, and emotional turmoil your going through! And I totally understand where you are coming from. It is very hard for anyone in your type of situation from all around in fighting to find motivation to take care of yourself. First try making a list of all the things that you want changed. Then on a separate piece of paper list out all the possible ways that you could do to try to change that "thing" off the list you made. Do that for each of the itemized "thing" in your life you want changed on separate sheets of paper. Now each day try to do that one possible solution or task that you brainstormed in reaching the goal of eliminating that problem. Mentally you'll feel better knowing that you tackled each problem and did whatever you could that day to face it head on. Heck make a personal or spark blog to get your feelings out :)

All the ladies here did fabulous job on how to incorporate on a budget. Also, try to ask people you know who have exercise stuff laying around that they are not using. You'd be surprised people will give you their stability balls, weights, jump rope, a workout dvd, etc.

Ok now try to change one food or indulgence out of your diet, and stick to it for the full week and or a month *as much as u can.* For example "sodas" and do everything the same if you have to ....cuz I know you have to deal with alot. Then slowly start dropping a bad habit in another category for your weightloss goal. Maybe the next thing could be logging into sparkpeople every day and trying to maximize points reading various articles, blogs, and reaching out to us. Then maybe you will prove to yourself that you have control over atleast this aspect of your life, because by then you would have realized you logged in each day and had a positive attitude, you stopped drinking soda, and or some days you were conscious of drinking it! :)

Then you can step it up by incorporating walking, parking the car further away, wearing comfortable shoes to work and out of work, it'll make you walk more :). Maybe purchase a pedometer from walmart that will count your steps. And motivate you to take notice that you are doing something. It's no longer a monday diet or another new year resolution :)

Slowly you can start buying snacks so when you get stressed you can eat that. It'll be like preparing for those really really tough days. It'll keep you from indulging in cheap bad choice food. I have categories depending on what kind of day it is in bad mood. Sometimes I am just angry, overwhelmed and almost depressed to a point where there is no return so I want to eat whatever as I am angry. So just take the suggestions and pick your level of resentment, negative attitude based on that day or moment.

I have found small yogurts, smoothies, jello, tapioca pudding, rice pudding, baby carrots with fat free drip. Other days if I'm more depressed I have fat free ice-cream, or I have the flan (2 in a small package) in Target for only $1.37 and I'll eat one or two depending on the depression. It's not as bad as what you would've picked if you weren't conscious about it. I promise! You'll see! :) Heck, at least you feel like you have realistic preparation for those days.

Now try to set up small rewards for staying on track, and keep us updated on however small or big it is. Also set up reward system for inches lost, & or weightloss per lbs lost. Start dressing in a way that makes you look good, and feel good "NOW." Because the more confidence you have, the more you'll be able to stay on track. And pray alot! Just think only you can make yourself happy, no matter what.

Regards,
Jovaria :)

- Pari
Southern, California

Recommitted to losing weight as of October 27, 2014!

My millionth time trying...oh well..here we go again


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ILUV130's Photo ILUV130 SparkPoints: (39,618)
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6/6/09 7:15 P

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Walking is excellent ... I just recently started running ... I lost almost 80 pounds JUST WALKING.

Make the best choices you can food wise ... try to avoid processed food.

ATKINS ALL THE WAY!

Started on April 1, 2013

Discarded: 67 pounds ... 96 to go





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HALLUCINATING's Photo HALLUCINATING Posts: 4,255
6/6/09 4:31 P

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Yep,, walking is free, good exercise AND its a great boost. I force myself to walk when I am tired just because it always makes me feel better.
I understand the eating thing. If you cant change the food in the house, be aware of the portions your eating. Maybe you can check into local food banks and get a little help there. Worth a try!!

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LADYINBLAQ's Photo LADYINBLAQ Posts: 290
6/6/09 4:16 P

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In my area the recreation centers are free for residents. So I go when I can for water walking or water aerobics, plus they have a weight room and other activities. Maybe you can look into the parks and recreation for your area to see if there are any free things for you to get into.

Shannon
~a.k.a.~
LadyInBlaq
~~~~~~~~~
The mighty oak was once a little nut that stood its ground.
~~~~~~~~~
Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
~~~~~~~~~
Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still.
~~~~~~~~~


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BLUEJEDI's Photo BLUEJEDI SparkPoints: (0)
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6/6/09 2:28 P

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I totally forgot about food stamps-

Don't be embarrsed to go on food stamps. You have to eat. So does your family. You can apply just for yourself or everyone in the household can apply together.

My family is getting $363 a month. I had to fight my mom to let me apply-and I made her realize that the $363 a month we're getting is $363 less in cash we have to come up with each month to feed ourselves.

Even if you only qualify for $50 a month-that's $50 a month you didn't have before.

Do you get unemployment? Do you even qualify? Are you willing to take part time work anywhere? A part time job washing dishes is better than nothing right now. Just an idea, thats all.

To a dog your the king of the universe. To a cat your nothing more than the hired help.

If God had wanted me to touch my toes he would have put them up higher on my body.

Be careful going in search of adventure -- it's ridiculously easy to find.


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MOMMY2ISAIAH's Photo MOMMY2ISAIAH SparkPoints: (13,083)
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6/6/09 2:10 P

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I agree completely with the walking and your dvd's. The eating I can relate. I have bad hips, so i haven't been working and i have a 3 year old. I too live with my parents. I finally decided to go get on food stamps while I'm looking for a job now and have a pending disability case up in the air. I got approved for $318! That's a great amount for me and my son to eat on, and now i can pick the foods *I* want to eat vs. what the 'rents buy. Just an option!

.: Jen :.
~~~~~
"Is it worth it?" -Bob Harper



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DISNEYSMOM's Photo DISNEYSMOM Posts: 6,580
6/6/09 2:03 P

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You've gotten a lot of really great advise here about ways to eat healthy and exercise with little or no money. Personally, I love walking. As far as trying to keep yourself positive, try to focus on taking one positive step each day, whether its sending out resumes, taking a walk, cleaning out the junk drawer (we all have them~ I have junk cupboards too), whatever; just commit to taking at least one positive step every day towards making things better. Its a very tough situation that you're in and it can be very easy to get discouraged, so focusing in the small things that you can do each day will help you remain positive through all of this until things get better. emoticon

~Michelle~
Co-leader Gettin' Thin in 2010 & SP Vision Collage Gallery
SIS Challenge: Fireflies Co-Leader
Proud DONE Girl

2010 Walking Events:
April 11 Carlsbad 5000 done!
April 25 MS Walk done!
May 1 SDHS Walk n Roll done!
May 8 Aflac Iron Girl 5K done!
May 16 Bridge Walk done!
June 26-27 Relay for Life
Sept 4 Disneyland 5K (run)
Sept 18 Heart Walk
Oct 24 Step Out for Diabetes
Nov 19-21 3Day Walk



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LADYPREACHER1's Photo LADYPREACHER1 Posts: 3,706
6/6/09 12:51 P

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I agree with the other ladies. Walking is great exercise. Try going for a walk eachday, and if you can; change the route you take in order to get a change of scenery. Also if you a member of a church, why not suggest free aerobic classes for the ladies? You can even become one of the leaders and use your workout DVD's if no one in the congregation is an instructor. You can also check with other churches in your area and see if they offer free aerobic classes. As for food, make pots of soup with canned or frozen veggies and add leftover chicken or other lean meat to it. Rice and beans are good also, you can get store brand brown rice in most places.I buy a lot of chicken and ground turkey and both are very versatile and economical. I make sloppy joes, spaghetti and meatloaf with ground turkey and it tastes great.


I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

Co- Leader Spark Mississippi-The Official Team


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MSAFROACHIEVER's Photo MSAFROACHIEVER Posts: 183
6/6/09 10:50 A

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I've been in your situation and I know it's not pleasant. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger right? I agree with everybody else though; walking is the BEST! It's free, it frees your mind, it frees your body. I always come up with the best defense strategies when I'm walking.

Any friends with fitness rooms in their apt. complexes? See if they wanna be workout buddies....

Happy Happy JOY JOY! Happy Happy JOY JOY!


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BLUEJEDI's Photo BLUEJEDI SparkPoints: (0)
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6/6/09 9:50 A

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Is there a YMCA near you?

Yes, I know they cost money BUT, and a BIG but-

They have sliding scale fees. Yes full price is $80 per person.

But here where I live some single people are paying as little as 10-15 a month because they are on a sliding scale fee. My neighbors are paying $20 a month for 5 people.

They are great about working with you and only having you pay what you can honestly afford. Also-many, many branch's of the YMCA will also make a deal with you if you still can't pay even on the sliding scale fee-

The deal is you volunteer your time. Say for every 15 hours you volunteer at the Y (they'll work with you and find something you can do, like staple booklets or make copies of flyer's) they'll let you use the Y free of charge for 5 hours.

That's one option you can look into.

If you want to try to find some workout equipment-sign up for freecycle. (freecycle.org) Yes you will have to give away at least one or two items (I'm sure you can find something someone gave you that you can offer up) and then you can ask for any old workout equipment.

Buy a jump rope-they are only a couple bucks and perhaps the cheapest option. Jump rope really fast for 20-30 seconds at a time and work your way up.

If your library has a decent selection, check out their workout tapes.

And there's tons and tons and tons of workout routines you can browse through here on sprakpeople and put together one you can do.

You can do this-good luck!

Edited by: BLUEJEDI at: 6/6/2009 (09:52)
To a dog your the king of the universe. To a cat your nothing more than the hired help.

If God had wanted me to touch my toes he would have put them up higher on my body.

Be careful going in search of adventure -- it's ridiculously easy to find.


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LLBEAN75's Photo LLBEAN75 Posts: 2,554
6/6/09 9:35 A

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I agree with the walks. That can be a great way to get out of the house. I'm not sure what area of the US you live in, but check to see if your city has a REC center. A lot of rec centers are really cheap to join if you are a resident. The one in my boyfriend's town cost us $35 each for a year and they have weights, treadmills, basketball courts, a track, racketball courts, etc. etc.

Maybe you could still sleep in your mom's bed with her, but go out into the living room to work out? I think you said you use DVDs so move the TV into the living room and go from there. I understand they want their privacy but you deserve yours as well! Don't be afraid to speak up about this.

As for food.. Buy things in bulk if you can and save money that way. OR eat things that are pretty cheap to buy - like rice, pasta, big bags of frozen chicken, frozen veggies, canned fruit, etc. etc. You want to be looking for things that will make several meals for little money and won't be perishable. Batch cook too and freeze the lefovers. I have a great recipe for tomato corn rice that I made up that is very cheap to make (I'll put the link below). If you know anyone that has a costco or sams membership ask them to take you shopping and get the huge bags of frozen chicken! That bag has probably 20 breasts in it for only like $15-$20. That's SOOO much cheaper than chicken at the grocery store. Sandwiches are also an excellent way to eat healthy. Make sure you buy wheat bread and you can switch it up as much as you want - pb&j, turkey, turkey and swiss, etc. etc. Use the bread to make toast for breakfast and add a little peanut butter on it. OR eat cereal for several meals. Make sure you portion the cereal though!

I could keep going but I'll stop. If you need any more advice please contact me and I would love to help you come up with ideas! I KNOW you can do this, it's just going to take a little extra effort and a positive attitude on your part. It's hard, but if you really want to lose weight and be healthy you CAN make it happen. Just don't start pitying yourself.. instead get up and work!

Here's the recipe: recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detai
l.
asp?recipe=608498

Use water instead of chicken broth and any cost saving swaps you can. Feel free to change this HOWEVER you want!

-Laura-
I'm a future Dietitian!

First 5K DONE- Addison Oktoberfest 5K: 9/19/09
First 10K DONE - Ft Worth Mercury 10K: 10/17/10

"Someone busier than you is running right now."

http://OddDuckBlog.com


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PEZQUEEN's Photo PEZQUEEN Posts: 77
6/6/09 9:00 A

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I am sorry to hear about all that you are dealing with, but know that all of your done sisters are here for you!

Have you tried leaving the house for walks? Walking is free and can be a good work out if you speed it up. Try and add in some hills when you feel ready.

As for the ants, here is my secret solution: mix borax (found in the cleaner aisle in a box) with equal amounts icing sugar (confectioner's sugar) and sprinkle it where you have found the ants. The ants will die right on the spot practically and some of them will survive long enough to carry the poison back to the Queen. I think this is a much cheaper option than the ant traps you buy at the store.

Unfortunately this isn't a safe option if you have pets or small children around.

I went through a pretty hard time a while back. Of course everyone's situations are different, but I made a point of noticing the small pleasures: a nice sunny day, the lilacs down the street, a good conversation with my mom, a juicy orange and even sometimes a really great work out. I know, they seem kind of lame, but honestly thinking about the good things that still exist really helped.

Take care, and I hope things turn around for you.

5 lbs - Arm band for IPOD
10 lbs - manicure/pedicure
20 lbs - spa day
30 lbs - laser hair removal
40 lbs - nothing planned yet.
50 lbs - trip to Hawaii with my hubby!


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SPARKPIXIE's Photo SPARKPIXIE Posts: 88,521
6/6/09 8:30 A

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Serena I'm sorry for all the things you're going through and all the obstacles in your way. I will be praying for you.

Just take it one day at a time and do your best every day. Don't give up no matter what. Some days may be better than others but as long as you don't give up, you WILL reach your goals someday.

emoticon



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SERENA24's Photo SERENA24 Posts: 220
6/6/09 8:23 A

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No, but I'm finding it quite harder and harder each day to continue with this weightloss journey. Let me explain myself a little bit. I just graduated from college and moved back in with my mom and sisters. We live (Struggle to make ends meet) in a 800 ft sq ft. duplex. Meaning 2 beds and 1 bathroom. It's soo small here that it's hard to find privacy, let alone space to exercise. And the thing is that the best time for me to exercise is in the morning at like 5am because later on in the day at least one person has occupied a bedroom for her privacy for either reading or work. Also, it's cooler in the house in the morning and if I try later on in the day I think I might have a heat stroke (we don't use A/C so the fans blow nothing but hot air). Also, we're all out of jobs right now, my mother just got laid off. SIIIIIGHH.
At first, I thought the solution (and maybe it still is) would be to sleep on the old wicker couch in the living room, but then my back started hurting. I'd bring a mattress to sleep on the floor there, but we have a tiny ant problem right now and they kind of gite sometimes, so that's a no no.

So, then I thought about sleeping in the 2nd room that my oldest sister has but she wanted it back because my mother's bed hurts her back. le sigh. So here I am, fat as ever at 220+ lbs, no money to join a gym, no job, some wkout dvds with little space to do it in, and a conscious that constantly wonders if I'll ever loose weight.

More than anything right now I want to loose weight. I want my first bikini, toned legs, and A DECREASED BOOB SIZE (44 E folks and I'm 23). I went to the store the other day and saw all this pretty dresses ya know the maxi's and I more than anyting I was wishing that I could be that size. Even though there are places like torrid and other plus size shops let's face it they're more expensive and not in every location. I'm just so tired of being fat.

I stopped working out/eating healthy near the last couple of months of college because I didn't have enought time. Now I'm just poor. There's always going to be an excuse to not be healthy/workout and it's just that an excuse. And I recognize that but what do I do in this situation?

Any suggestions?

Oh and as for moving back home, I did try and save up money and apply to internships but that all fell through at the end. I'm really struggling to be positive right now.



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