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KAREN01929's Photo KAREN01929 SparkPoints: (3,431)
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10/1/10 4:08 P

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50 pounds ago I was married to someone who criticized my body on a regular basis. We had sex about once a month. Now I am heavier than I've ever been in my life, but I'm happy. My new man likes my curves and tells me so all the time. I try to focus on what feels good to him and end up having a rocking good time myself. I definitely think that a healthy sex life is a VERY important part of wellness and a huge part of a good relationship. My mantra is "Don't think less of myself. Think of myself less." This keeps the focus on my man and off my weight.

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CASEY1983's Photo CASEY1983 SparkPoints: (0)
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8/13/10 11:01 A

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I am single right now. (thank GOD)!. Before the before pictures (working on getting them posted) I did not let it affect anything. But since I saw the horrendous before pics I dont want to see myself naked much less let anyone else see!! Not even the doc.

HAPPINESS IS NOTHING MORE THAN GOOD HEALTH AND A BAD MEMORY.


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ANG175's Photo ANG175 Posts: 160
4/27/10 10:00 A

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I have to say I have experienced the same things mentioned in all the responses. I agree about the stress being a huge issue. I have learned that you almost have to "schedule" sex given your busy lives, kids, tiredness, etc. It makes it less spontaneous, but at least it keeps that connection and spark in the relationship, regardless of weight.

~~Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels~~


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TLC505's Photo TLC505 SparkPoints: (29,997)
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4/2/10 9:27 P

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Hello! I have returned! lol, and yea it bothers me too just case I see sexy lingerie that i want to try on for my man but I be feeling like it would look sexier on a thinner body and I still have 14 to go (I gained about 7 lbs after working at a cookie place!) My man says he doesnt want me losing more than 5 but I have to do this for me! Rededicated!!




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BIKERBABYZ's Photo BIKERBABYZ Posts: 2,254
3/16/10 12:18 P

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Hehe! LOL

We are all a bit (some more than others) self conscious...no matter our age, sex, weight, etc.. I really do beleive that it is human nature. The same way people get nervous about speaking in public, or the jiiters you get before your first date. I think the most we can do sometimes is become comfortable with our self conscious and build our self confidence.

Building a new attitude is definitely a challenge, and keeping that attitude is challenging! But once you make progress, hold onto that progress and keep going! As long as we want and believe, anything really is possible!

Bombshell in Training
Southern New Hampshire Sparker

255.0 lbs ~ Highest "Unknown" Weight
250.0 lbs ~ Highest "Known" Weight
243.7 lbs ~ Highest Recorded Weight @ the Doctors
220.0 lbs ~ 03/08/2012
210.0 lbs ~


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KEENIEBOY's Photo KEENIEBOY SparkPoints: (37,934)
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3/16/10 9:16 A

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You go Bikerbabyz!!! I want to be like you when I grow up...LOL!!! I'm still very self conscious but I'm working on it!! My husband can care less about the minor inperfections that I stress over!So we'll see how it goes with the new attitude I'm trying to incorporate!!

If you want to accomplish your goals, you make a way! If you don't, you make excuses!!!


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BIKERBABYZ's Photo BIKERBABYZ Posts: 2,254
3/15/10 12:58 P

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My part time job is in the sex toy industry, and I can not tell ya'll how many times I have heard women say that their weight effects their sexual lives in a million ways. This is soooo common, and thank you so much KEENIEBOY for bringing this topic up!

Not only do people's (I say people, because men are in this boat too) weight effect them with a partner, it also effects them in their own personal sexuality. Many times people are afraid to purchase a new toy because they aren't comfortable with themselves sexually, which in turn decreases their comfort level with a partner. Don't want the lights on, don't want to try a new position, don't want to act out a fantasy... it happens when we are not comfortable...and it DOES happen to both men & women!

Anytime I am doing a show, I always tell my customers how the #1 reason to lack of sex & romance in a relationship (with a partner or with yourself) is STRESS. What does our weight cause us if we are unhappy with our bodies? STRESS! Taking time to yourself to destress and relax is soooo important in our weight loss journeys as well as our sexual lives.

Take a bath, a massage, meditation, anything relaxing really to have alone time. Slowly start to incorporate your partner into some of your relaxation time (not all though, you DO need YOU time). Take a bubble bath together, let the bubbles and water cover your body and have fun!

Self confidence no matter your size is not just something that is "given to you". It is something you work on and when it grows, you know!

Bombshell in Training
Southern New Hampshire Sparker

255.0 lbs ~ Highest "Unknown" Weight
250.0 lbs ~ Highest "Known" Weight
243.7 lbs ~ Highest Recorded Weight @ the Doctors
220.0 lbs ~ 03/08/2012
210.0 lbs ~


 current weight: 199.0 
 
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KEENIEBOY's Photo KEENIEBOY SparkPoints: (37,934)
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3/2/10 1:52 P

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Thanks for the input FIELLELN! That puts this topic in a whole new perspective! My husband really hates the fact that I'm so down on myself and he tells me that constantly! I didn't realize how obvious it was! I working on changing it though!

If you want to accomplish your goals, you make a way! If you don't, you make excuses!!!


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FIELLELN Posts: 9
3/2/10 11:02 A

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Hello Ladies, I'm not married but I have been there before. My weight has ruined several relationships in the past because I of my insecurities not because something they did. I was in a bad relationship where everyday I heard that I was fat and at that time I was 140. That took a big toll on my self esteem. I allowed that to set the foundation of all of my relationships after. Wow! If I was that size now...LOL...Anyway, Now I'm learning to truly love me first..

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KEENIEBOY's Photo KEENIEBOY SparkPoints: (37,934)
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3/2/10 9:59 A

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Corin, you are so beautiful and losing the weight is only going to make your beauty shine even more because you will be happy with you! But you already have so many things to love about your body, embrase the things you love now and not focus on where you want to be and I promise you before you know, you will have the body that you have been wanting! It's coming!!

If you want to accomplish your goals, you make a way! If you don't, you make excuses!!!


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PRETTYGIRL150's Photo PRETTYGIRL150 Posts: 889
3/1/10 8:14 P

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I just wish I knew what myself felt like b/c I have hated this body for so long. Im definitely going to continue slow and keep pushing to lose this weight because I'm so tired of being overweight. I feel like I'm trapped in another body.

~Prettygirl150


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KEENIEBOY's Photo KEENIEBOY SparkPoints: (37,934)
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3/1/10 8:09 P

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I am the exact same way Corin! It's sad! I have to get back to where I was so I can feel like myself again!

If you want to accomplish your goals, you make a way! If you don't, you make excuses!!!


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PRETTYGIRL150's Photo PRETTYGIRL150 Posts: 889
3/1/10 4:16 P

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You definitely aren't losing your mind. I'm a stickler for lighting and I know it is because of my weight. It annoys the hell out of my husband because he says he could care less but it bothers me. It used to be I only wanted to have sex at night because I knew then the light issue would not be a problem. I'm slowly breaking out of my shell but its hard for me. My husband has never said anything bad to me regarding my weight but its just my own personal hangups. Now it does not at all stop me from wanting to have sex although it can make certain positions uncomfortable.

Weight affects so many areas in our lives. I love going to the beach but I haven't really been in a bathing suit since 2001 and I've been avoiding water ever since...I've turned down trips to exotic places because I don't want to go b/c I hate my body. Its crazy how much I let weight stop me from living...

~Prettygirl150


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KEENIEBOY's Photo KEENIEBOY SparkPoints: (37,934)
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3/1/10 11:00 A

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I know that this may be TMI for some but I thought it would be an interesting topic! I know as a woman that when we gain weight, we tend to feel less attractive! Is it causing a problem for you sexually? As for me, it hasn't stopped sex from happening...LOL, but it has made me a lot more self conscious! I don't want to be completely naked, the lighting has to be right, I don't want too much rubbing on my body and the list goes on and on...LOL! My husband thinks I'm nuts because he can care less!! I can remember 35 pounds ago, when there was nothing holding me back!! Why do we allow weight gain to effect every aspect of our livelihood? Just curious if I'm the only nut out there with this complex...LOL!

Edited by: KEENIEBOY at: 3/1/2010 (11:02)
If you want to accomplish your goals, you make a way! If you don't, you make excuses!!!


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