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DAZZLEANNIE's Photo DAZZLEANNIE SparkPoints: (630)
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10/22/13 5:46 P

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My thoughts are with you. I'm divorced and have no family as a support system and my son is just 12 so I too have had that thought about the long term care facility in the future.. I hope you can get out of your situation the last thing you need is being in a bad relationship and adding stress to your life.

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DEDICATED2HIM's Photo DEDICATED2HIM Posts: 3,469
10/19/13 5:28 P

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Thanks to all of you for your concern and support. I do not know what the answer is. I guess any unknown will cause fear and stress. I feel very insecure when I think about leaving. It scares me more than what's his name screaming at me. Which is why I am where I am. But the fights are becoming more frequent and are increasing in volume...We never ever used to scream at each other--even at our worst....but now it is a common occurrence. NONE of the options are good ones.So I've kind of been sitting back waiting for God to make a move.

Edited by: DEDICATED2HIM at: 10/19/2013 (17:28)

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BETRME100's Photo BETRME100 SparkPoints: (86,423)
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10/6/13 8:23 P

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emoticon I don't have any answers for you, but you sure are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kit

Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor.
Jackson Brown

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JANNY316's Photo JANNY316 Posts: 272
10/3/13 8:58 A

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I am very sorry for what you are going through right now. It is a subject that no one likes to discuss, but we do need to consider the "what ifs" in life when dealing with a disease. And I agree that stress is bad for RA, and you are under a lot of stress right now. You do need to find counseling and work on what you need to do, not what he wants or needs

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DEDICATED2HIM's Photo DEDICATED2HIM Posts: 3,469
10/1/13 7:09 P

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he can't afford the alimony....or the fees for the lawyer and court.
He's working on killing himself indirectly....eating like crap. No exercise and stress levels and fury through the ceiling...



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BKWERM's Photo BKWERM SparkPoints: (90,831)
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10/1/13 5:43 P

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I agree with Linda. You should tell your pastor everything that has been going on at home and see if he can come up with any viable solutions. I honestly don't understand why Eric hasn't divorced you yet if he's so damn miserable. I truly think your life would be so much better without the added of stress of being married to that ass!

Joanna from Dundas, Ontario
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Happy and healthy people have a better chance to live with confidence and contribute value to the world than anyone else. Don't take that for granted. ~ James Clear ~


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DEDICATED2HIM's Photo DEDICATED2HIM Posts: 3,469
10/1/13 7:25 A

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Joanna, Were you referring to his MEDICAL benefits? No, I do not get them after he dies but at that point I will qualify for Medicad and I already have Medicare.



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LINDAJOYWK's Photo LINDAJOYWK Posts: 5,372
10/1/13 6:48 A

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When you say you would be eligible for medicaid if divorced-but he would abandon you...I don't
mean this to be cruel,but it sounds like he already has...it's very scarey out there,but stress
makes everything worse. A lot of churches will offer free (or low cost) counciling -perhaps you
could find someone to talk to about your options? Sometimes it is lonelier to be with someone
than it is to be alone.Praying that whatever you decide will be what you need.

"It's not the mountains ahead that wear you out-it's the grain
of sand in your shoe"-unknown


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BKWERM's Photo BKWERM SparkPoints: (90,831)
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9/30/13 6:38 P

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Well, that's something anyway! I guess we all just have to hope he dies soon. That sounds so awful but he truly is a turd just like Jeri said.

Edited by: BKWERM at: 9/30/2013 (18:39)
Joanna from Dundas, Ontario
BLC20-25 - Amber Amazon Warriors
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Co-Leader of Living With Rheumatoid Autoimmune Disease (RAD)


Happy and healthy people have a better chance to live with confidence and contribute value to the world than anyone else. Don't take that for granted. ~ James Clear ~


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DEDICATED2HIM's Photo DEDICATED2HIM Posts: 3,469
9/30/13 6:27 P

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yes, you just have to send a copy of the death certificate ...



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BKWERM's Photo BKWERM SparkPoints: (90,831)
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9/30/13 6:08 P

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And, what happens to his benefits if he dies before you? Do you get them automatically?

Joanna from Dundas, Ontario
BLC20-25 - Amber Amazon Warriors
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Co-Leader of Living With Rheumatoid Autoimmune Disease (RAD)


Happy and healthy people have a better chance to live with confidence and contribute value to the world than anyone else. Don't take that for granted. ~ James Clear ~


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DEDICATED2HIM's Photo DEDICATED2HIM Posts: 3,469
9/30/13 5:31 P

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he has insurance. One policy he changed the beneficiary to make it go to my daughter....supposedly so we won't lose it if I go into nursing home. And he has one or two more in my name. He's gonna drop dead any day ...he's eating like crap and he is never NOT furious.

I spoke to a man on the phone to see if I would be eligible for long term care insurance.....and because I already have a dignosis and disability...it disqualified me for any insurance.




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BKWERM's Photo BKWERM SparkPoints: (90,831)
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9/30/13 5:18 P

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I'm not American and don't really know the answer to your question but I'm glad that you're starting to think about it. What about Obamacare? I thought it was supposed to cover everyone regardless of pre-existing conditions or not?

Do you have life insurance on your husband? emoticon Just sayin'...

Joanna from Dundas, Ontario
BLC20-25 - Amber Amazon Warriors
Eastern Daylight Time (EDT)

Co-Leader of Living With Rheumatoid Autoimmune Disease (RAD)


Happy and healthy people have a better chance to live with confidence and contribute value to the world than anyone else. Don't take that for granted. ~ James Clear ~


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DEDICATED2HIM's Photo DEDICATED2HIM Posts: 3,469
9/30/13 3:49 P

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LOLOLOL
Yep , that about has him pegged



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JERIBERI1's Photo JERIBERI1 Posts: 10,085
9/30/13 3:47 P

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Wow. He's a turd.

She woke up one morning and threw away all her excuses...
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DEDICATED2HIM's Photo DEDICATED2HIM Posts: 3,469
9/30/13 3:42 P

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My husband has not dealt with my illnesses well. He no longer loves me and the only reason we are together is financial....Plus I'm not really able to be on my own....I need assistance (although he really hasn't done any thing for me lately.) All he does is accuse me of eating "HIS food"--although I spend $130 or more each week for food. It is not "my food" Every one eats it. So he just got done screaming at me because I must have use a can of beans he bought weeks ago. How on earth was I to know that those were "HIS" beans???? Put them in the food cabinet and they are fair game. I've always been generous with him. But he doesn't see that. One other reason I can't leave is because of my medicines---I need to have his insurance policy.



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JERIBERI1's Photo JERIBERI1 Posts: 10,085
9/30/13 1:02 P

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Why would your husband just abandon you?
My inlaws had to get divorced in order for her to get medical coverage. My mother-in-law ended up dying on the operating table at age 60 :-/

She woke up one morning and threw away all her excuses...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
CURRENT PRs:
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Sep 7, 2014: Sprint Tri
Oct 12, 2014: Iron Horse Half Marathon
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DEDICATED2HIM's Photo DEDICATED2HIM Posts: 3,469
9/30/13 12:29 P

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I understand that this may be a difficult topic to discuss, but I believe that it is an important one. Do you ever look ahead and wonder what the future holds? For me I believe that, barring a demise from some infection...I have to consider the fact that I may need a long term care facility (ie: a nursing home)..And when I think of that I get frightened ... not by going there but the costs associated with it. They do have special insurance to cover that...but in order to avoid the "pre-existing condition" clause I would have to buy it soon and then stay out of a nursing home for 5 years. It seems really like the best thing to do would be to divorce my husband so that I can go ahead and get Mediciaid. BUt again there is the fact that I need to be out of the nursing home for long enough period of time to qualify. Obviously the clock is ticking and I really need to take some action. Idon't know where the money would come from to pay for the insurance...much less for a hospital stay
We discussed this before...and because if we did that there would be nothingi in the way of him just walking off and abandoning ,me and the house....So I didn't pursue the divorce...My husband was upset that I didn't go ahead with it.

The main reason I did not pursue divorce is that Medicare's medicine coverage stinks.
The fact is that we do not have enough money to pay for the insurance ...the other fact is that I serve a loving God for whom nothing is impossible and I know he will provide for me.

Edited by: DEDICATED2HIM at: 9/30/2013 (12:33)

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