My thoughts are with you. I'm divorced and have no family as a support system and my son is just 12 so I too have had that thought about the long term care facility in the future.. I hope you can get out of your situation the last thing you need is being in a bad relationship and adding stress to your life.
Thanks to all of you for your concern and support. I do not know what the answer is. I guess any unknown will cause fear and stress. I feel very insecure when I think about leaving. It scares me more than what's his name screaming at me. Which is why I am where I am. But the fights are becoming more frequent and are increasing in volume...We never ever used to scream at each other--even at our worst....but now it is a common occurrence. NONE of the options are good ones.So I've kind of been sitting back waiting for God to make a move.
I am very sorry for what you are going through right now. It is a subject that no one likes to discuss, but we do need to consider the "what ifs" in life when dealing with a disease. And I agree that stress is bad for RA, and you are under a lot of stress right now. You do need to find counseling and work on what you need to do, not what he wants or needs
I agree with Linda. You should tell your pastor everything that has been going on at home and see if he can come up with any viable solutions. I honestly don't understand why Eric hasn't divorced you yet if he's so damn miserable. I truly think your life would be so much better without the added of stress of being married to that ass!
When you say you would be eligible for medicaid if divorced-but he would abandon you...I don't mean this to be cruel,but it sounds like he already has...it's very scarey out there,but stress makes everything worse. A lot of churches will offer free (or low cost) counciling -perhaps you could find someone to talk to about your options? Sometimes it is lonelier to be with someone than it is to be alone.Praying that whatever you decide will be what you need.
"It's not the mountains ahead that wear you out-it's the grain of sand in your shoe"-unknown
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he has insurance. One policy he changed the beneficiary to make it go to my daughter....supposedly so we won't lose it if I go into nursing home. And he has one or two more in my name. He's gonna drop dead any day ...he's eating like crap and he is never NOT furious.
I spoke to a man on the phone to see if I would be eligible for long term care insurance.....and because I already have a dignosis and disability...it disqualified me for any insurance.
I'm not American and don't really know the answer to your question but I'm glad that you're starting to think about it. What about Obamacare? I thought it was supposed to cover everyone regardless of pre-existing conditions or not?
Do you have life insurance on your husband? Just sayin'...
My husband has not dealt with my illnesses well. He no longer loves me and the only reason we are together is financial....Plus I'm not really able to be on my own....I need assistance (although he really hasn't done any thing for me lately.) All he does is accuse me of eating "HIS food"--although I spend $130 or more each week for food. It is not "my food" Every one eats it. So he just got done screaming at me because I must have use a can of beans he bought weeks ago. How on earth was I to know that those were "HIS" beans???? Put them in the food cabinet and they are fair game. I've always been generous with him. But he doesn't see that. One other reason I can't leave is because of my medicines---I need to have his insurance policy.
I understand that this may be a difficult topic to discuss, but I believe that it is an important one. Do you ever look ahead and wonder what the future holds? For me I believe that, barring a demise from some infection...I have to consider the fact that I may need a long term care facility (ie: a nursing home)..And when I think of that I get frightened ... not by going there but the costs associated with it. They do have special insurance to cover that...but in order to avoid the "pre-existing condition" clause I would have to buy it soon and then stay out of a nursing home for 5 years. It seems really like the best thing to do would be to divorce my husband so that I can go ahead and get Mediciaid. BUt again there is the fact that I need to be out of the nursing home for long enough period of time to qualify. Obviously the clock is ticking and I really need to take some action. Idon't know where the money would come from to pay for the insurance...much less for a hospital stay We discussed this before...and because if we did that there would be nothingi in the way of him just walking off and abandoning ,me and the house....So I didn't pursue the divorce...My husband was upset that I didn't go ahead with it.
The main reason I did not pursue divorce is that Medicare's medicine coverage stinks. The fact is that we do not have enough money to pay for the insurance ...the other fact is that I serve a loving God for whom nothing is impossible and I know he will provide for me.
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