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NEEDTOBESLIM3's Photo NEEDTOBESLIM3 SparkPoints: (11,024)
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12/21/14 1:17 A

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Thank you ARMOMM12. It's good to be back!! Went food shopping today and stocked up on lots of fruit and veg. It's a small start. Xxx

My God loves me, he shelters me from harm.
ARMOMMI2 SparkPoints: (16,961)
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12/19/14 8:58 P

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So glad you came back. Great to have the two weeks off over the holidays to get old things wrapped up and get the new YOU on the road again. We look forward to hearing how you're doing. Take Care and rest.

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NEEDTOBESLIM3's Photo NEEDTOBESLIM3 SparkPoints: (11,024)
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12/19/14 6:11 P

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Hello Sparkers, I've decided to come back to try again!! I'm not feeling able to do much as my eating has got out of hand. I've started a new job with very long hours and find myself eating unhealthy stuff. I need to start cooking food in big batches and freezing it so I can take healthy meals with me. I've got two weeks off over Christmas and New Year so hopefully after a wee rest I can start doing stuff I've been putting off such as meal planning and unpacking belongings that has been in boxes and bags since we moved in July. Got to have a bit of a rest first though as it has been a bit of a difficult year with bereavements and moving. I had pneumonia and its left me quite tired so I sleep a lot too. So glad that this team is here as I feel the need to connect again. Take care, blessings. XX

My God loves me, he shelters me from harm.
ARMOMMI2 SparkPoints: (16,961)
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12/18/14 7:47 P

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Good Job FabulousinBlue: Way to put that inspiration to work. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FABULOUSINBLUE Posts: 11
12/17/14 8:48 P

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Woke up at 4.17am (I'm in Australia). Felt really ratty and anxious. Drove H to work. Spoke to neighbour whose dad passed away last week. Went to gym and rode bike with boot on. Spoke to a few more people. I did all this encouraged by reading how brave you all are. Thankyou for inspiring me on a day when I really hit rock bottom. Doctor is reluctant to put me back on medication but I think I might have to. Like many of you Christmas is a bit hard.
Prayers and good wishes to you all.
Marg.
PS Still trying to understand some of the technical aspects of SP.

Edited by: FABULOUSINBLUE at: 12/17/2014 (20:48)
PIXIEBURDS's Photo PIXIEBURDS Posts: 87
12/16/14 11:10 P

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I was able to meet with the local home care agency today and we will start having a worker come in five days a week for 3 hours a day. It will cost about $300 per week or $19 per hour. That is a little more than I make per hour! My husband isn't happy about it, and was a bit hurt that I made the decision without talking it over with him first, but I just cannot jeopardize my ability to work. The agency is going to set up a life alert system for us too and they will become one of the first responders so we won't have to call 911 if he falls. I am feeling much more hopeful now. And I was able to get some sleep last night.

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12/16/14 1:17 A

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My prayers are with you that you can put your plan into work soon. Take Care and do what you can.

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PIXIEBURDS's Photo PIXIEBURDS Posts: 87
12/15/14 7:30 A

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I really need some encouragement and support right now. I just started a new job of Friday. When I got home I found my husband on the floor in the basement. He had been on the floor for an hour, but didn't call for help because all the doors were locked. This is the 4th time in about a week and a half that he has needed paramedics to help him after a fall. He is 81 years old and has early dementia and stenosis of the spine and he can barely transfer himself anymore. Anyway, my step-son, who is a fireman, was called in by the Fire Marshal and told that if he continues to fall when he is alone it could result in me being investigated for elder neglect. I am a nurse so if that happened it would jeopardize my nursing license and my employment. I didn't sleep at all last night worrying about it. I have an action plan but it will take awhile to put all the pieces in place. Please pray for me if you feel led to, and if not, at least send warm thoughts my way.

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12/9/14 5:02 P

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LePre, you are your own person, and we're very proud of you for taking this step toward a healthier lifestyle. Sometimes we have to leave others in the dust and move forward to fulfill our dreams and reach our goals. We are here for you and we will do everything we can to help you reach your goals if you can do this one thing: Just don't listen to the negativity. You do that for us and we'll do the rest. Love and Hugs to take on your journey.

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PIXIEBURDS's Photo PIXIEBURDS Posts: 87
12/8/14 7:12 P

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LePre, don't let other peoples negativity impact you. You lose weight for yourself, not for anyone else. I know it is hard when others, especially family are negative, but you can do this. Remember, you are in control of yourself. And also remember that weight loss is a marathon not a sprint. Don't beat yourself up if you don't hit your goals every single day. It is an accumulation of successes over time that will win the battle. My uncle commented on my weight every time I saw him my entire life until he died. Even when he had Alzheimers! You can't change how others act, but you can change how you react. Good luck to you.

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LEPRE875's Photo LEPRE875 SparkPoints: (1,109)
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12/8/14 12:23 A

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Well I had been having a good day, until the only time my mom wasn't too spaced out by her personal stuff was to say that I have gained weight. Tried to talk to her all day no luck. Upstairs with her and sudddenly she has all the time in the world to comment on my weight. :( Makes it hard to stay motivated doing this, especially since it is my first day. I haven't told my parents that I have started this. I want to do it without them. When they know they comment whenever I don't go for a walk, or mention anything its negative. I don't tell them and sudddenly its good on me for going for a walk.

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SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 Posts: 429
12/8/14 12:21 A

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Hi all. I haven't been able to post much due to a lot of things, but I have been reading posts. My thoughts are with you all. emoticon

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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ARMATTHAEI's Photo ARMATTHAEI Posts: 1,960
12/6/14 8:21 A

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FAIRIEDREAMS1-

Welcome to a wonderful journey of creating a happier healthier life for your self. You are worth it, and this is a team that is willing to help you through those "crash" moments so that you don't feel alone. The members are very supportive no matter what life hands you.

I look forward to getting to know you better. Feel free to add me as a friend or message me.

Blessings,
Amanda, RN

Team Leader of Night Shift Nurses
Team Leader of Nurses Everywhere


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FAIRIEDREAMS1's Photo FAIRIEDREAMS1 Posts: 6
12/6/14 12:00 A

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Hi :) I'm new to this but I'm tired of crashing in every way and reading posts in here has already shown me I don't have to crash alone.

I'm a whole mess of things. My most recent trauma that fueled my determination with this site was seeing the proofs from our recent family photo session. I was mortified. I realized I need to be getting a grip on not only my physical problems but hopefully getting the snowball effect into my emotional problems which I think are probably interchangeable anyway.

I look forward to getting to know you all and hopefully I can help as much as I need it.

Today starts my new journey of sorts. So far, I'm feeling good about it.

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LE3INMEMPHIS's Photo LE3INMEMPHIS Posts: 86
12/3/14 9:41 P

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This time of year is always tough. I am encouraged by the baby steps so many of us are making despite the weather, family, financial, and other expectations pulling us down. One day we can run, but for now baby steps are what I can do. I have a chime that I hung in my kitchen. When I make a positive/healthy action I run my finger across it to ring. That sound signifies that I can do something to make life better.

Samestuff--you are speaking up for yourself and setting limits for interactions emoticon

My DH gave me a hard time about going over to a friends house to help her garden. For me it was a win-win-win. I get exercise, I learn more about gardening, and I get to take some home. I had to wait a few days but brought it up to him. I support him visiting his friends and I don't appreciate the attitude. He said he thought I felt obligated. Hmmm I would think he would know me better. Samestuff, you encourage me.

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ARMOMMI2 SparkPoints: (16,961)
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12/3/14 7:21 P

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emoticon emoticon Wow! You have taken some very positive steps toward resolving the nagging issues that probably contribute to a lack of motivation. I'm so proud of you. You've met your goals before and you can do it again. Very smart idea to start Dec 1 instead of Jan 1. It's never too late to start over. We do it so many times in our lives, but we don't think of things as starting over. We just do it!! Thank you for sharing. We're here for you. emoticon emoticon

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DDB333 SparkPoints: (413)
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12/3/14 6:29 P

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Starting over in December. January first never worked for me so I decided on December 1st. I haven't been on sparks for almost 2 1/2 months, my finances are a mess, and my body is breaking down and the depression was pulling hard on me.

So I stopped my non-helping thoughts and decided to start over in a way. I joined the 10 minute challenge, went to a financial consultant, and here I am back on sparks.

Not on top but I'm clawing my way up emoticon

LE3INMEMPHIS's Photo LE3INMEMPHIS Posts: 86
11/30/14 3:30 P

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The Holidays... when memories come flooding back...when we miss the loved ones we used to spend time with...when we remember all the good dishes and try to modify or each only small amounts of them. We are empowered and endowed--to spread the love we felt and missed, to create healthier versions of food that our families love. I made my revision of my Grandmothers cranberry salad and introduced a new stuffing and bread pudding. I felt good about what I was able to bring and know my relatives who have moved on are smiling on my efforts.

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PIXIEBURDS's Photo PIXIEBURDS Posts: 87
11/26/14 10:38 P

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Think on what is good, and what is right, and what is honoring to yourself, and family, and God. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Be safe and know that you are loved.

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28AR4SQ SparkPoints: (11)
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11/25/14 9:32 P

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Think of the positives in a negative situation Thinking of the positives in this negative situation will get you through the negative situation.

MELLYBEANS0919's Photo MELLYBEANS0919 SparkPoints: (23,771)
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11/21/14 7:30 P

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Having a rough go today. It hit me out of nowhere this afternoon. Trying to breathe and focus on one minute at a time. I am going to my therapist on Thur, the soonest I can get in. emoticon to all.

"Don't let perfection be the enemy of good enough!"


GETTINGTOME Posts: 22
11/20/14 11:21 P

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Guess I'm in that bad place tonight. I'm still unsettled by my co-workers "constructive feedback" i.e. bullying, that I was subjected to over a month ago. Although I now am fully aware that this encounter was inappropriate, mean, and creepy on her part - I still am not over the feeling of shame, feeling small, or feeling of being knocked down. My self esteem and confidence has taken a big hit, which, on top of feeling like a loser, I feel even worse about being so affected by this, sad that I have let someone take away my power, take away my feelings of self worth. I feel like I am too smart to let someone get to me like this but apparently not.

GETTINGTOME Posts: 22
11/17/14 11:48 P

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SALAM4545 - Truthfully it made my blood boil that your doctor is giving you a hard time about getting a thyroid test. I am so fed up with doctors and their inability (or unwillingness) to look outside the box and treat patients as unique individuals with unique physiological makeups. But that's a whole other story.

Try a different doctor, one who RESPECTS your ability to know your own body and how you feel, and is willing to order a simple blood test. Good grief! It's ridiculous that someone has to expend so much time and energy to find out something so simple.

However, if your thyroid levels come back in the so-called 'NORMAL" range, consider that you might have a sleep issue like apnea. Good sleep is SO important.

I wish you well! Let us know how it goes.

emoticon emoticon

Edited by: GETTINGTOME at: 11/17/2014 (23:49)
MELLYBEANS0919's Photo MELLYBEANS0919 SparkPoints: (23,771)
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11/17/14 10:52 A

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Feeling yucky today despite starting my light therapy this morning. So tired even though I got enough sleep at night. I just want to curl up on the couch and watch t.v. or go back to bed. Thankfully I am off today so I can indulge if I want.

"Don't let perfection be the enemy of good enough!"


ARMOMMI2 SparkPoints: (16,961)
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11/14/14 11:05 P

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Sounds like you have a good plan to work on. I hope you get a different doctor, too. Keep up the good spirit. We're here for you. emoticon emoticon

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SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 Posts: 429
11/14/14 10:54 P

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So grateful my meds are kicking in a little better, feeling a lot better, and my kids say I am much easier to be around right now. Feeling a little bad about my weight, I am a little nervous about going back to the doctor ( he was a real jerk when I tried to ask him for a thyroid test) but I have stayed within the same 5 pounds for months now and my energy levels are way off. Maybe I can get a different doctor at the practice this time.

Thanks to all that sent messages on my last bad time. It really helped a lot, it got me out of my blue funk and out of bed, and being a functional human being. Thanks.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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GETTINGTOME Posts: 22
11/13/14 4:28 P

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SAMESTUFFDIFDAY - can't wait to hear what you think of the book. Right now I am reading about the contemplation phase but I suspect where I am at is somewhere between contemplation and preparation. Something that rang true for me is that people can get stuck in the contemplation phase because they are waiting for everything to be exactly right or making sure they understand every nuance. That is so true for me because I tend to be a perfectionist.

DOLLYBABE57 - hope you are feeling better today. You're not alone in going to that awful place of despair. Hopefully you woke up today and the feeling has passed. One time my therapist told me that it's not necessarily the depression that is so bad but it is our beliefs about depression - that it is undesirable, that it hurts, that having depression makes us broken people - that are so painful to us. This made sense to me. Unfortunately, when we are in that dark place it can be impossible to remember any of this.

emoticon emoticon

KATBYRNE's Photo KATBYRNE Posts: 49
11/13/14 9:12 A

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DOLLYBABE57 I can only hope today is better for you. Having lived with on/off depression for 20 yrs (I'm seasonally affected) I can tell you it DOES get better. Whenever you have an ounce of energy, pursue ALL of your treatment options (not all at once). Medication, therapy, exercise, light, self-care, etc. Anything that helps. It will be worth it when you have fewer days of pain and the pain is less intense.

In the meantime, do ANYTHING that makes it better. Hot bath, fuzzy slippers, etc. You are ENTITLED to take some time and take care of yourself. Your pain is real and deserves to be treated. You deserve to have a day where you don't have to do anything except take care of you.

All my warmth and hugs. I'm wishing you sunshine and joy.

The only way to loose this game is to QUIT!


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PIXIEBURDS's Photo PIXIEBURDS Posts: 87
11/12/14 11:59 P

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DollyBabes you are not alone. I know that sometimes it seems like the whole world seems to be conspiring against you. But please know that people do care and that you can get through this bad period. If you have just recently started taking your meds it can take several weeks to reach a therapeutic level in your body. Don't give up. You might need to check back in with your doctor and see if the dosage needs to be changed.

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SAMESTUFFDIFDAY Posts: 727
11/12/14 5:42 P

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Lady Irish i just checked out your blog, and i have to say i enjoyed it very much, though when trying to join i was told i could not do it to try again later.. Believe me i will try again in little bit. I have been getting back into cooking again, when i was a stay at home mom, i just loved to cook, bread was one of my favorites also, like you said it is great for working out stress and frustration, i used to make 5 - 7 loaves at a time, believe me that was alot of kneading... but so enjoyable. I subscribe to taste of home and simple and delicious and been spending the weekends trying many new recipes.. plus some old favorites.. now if i just had a bigger freezer. Anyway, it has taken me a minute to post this .... i am going to try to join again..

Thanks
have a great evening.
Same

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SAMESTUFFDIFDAY Posts: 727
11/12/14 5:27 P

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Back from the library and the book i ordered came in today, Thanks getting tome, i will start reading thru it this evening or maybe in the morning with my coffee. I made a page to hang on my fridge to not only my exercise but also my days with no ciggies. So far so good, no major cravings or nothing, now will have to tell the brother in law again that no smoking in the house ... he came up this morning and was smoking and now my winter coat reeks of the smoke, and that was one of the other reasons i wanted to quit, tired of smelling like an ashtray.

I need to work on this no sleeping issue now, i have gone about a week now with little to no sleep at all, i am beyond feeling like i am moving in slow motion. Is getting hard to think straight among other things. I don't know what has triggered this round of sleeplessness. But am over it.

Anyway, am off here before i really start complaining.. and get up and get the other half of my exercise done , I can't wait for my Leslie Sansome walk away the pound, and my beginner zumba to come in from the library, right now am just putting on the radio and just moving moving moving... am finally into another pair of jeans, i now have 3 pair i can fit into, to bad i only have bout another 10 pair hanging in closet.... grrrr. Oh well ... a work in progress..

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DOLLYBABE57's Photo DOLLYBABE57 Posts: 2,931
11/12/14 9:52 A

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Things have gotten worse for me I feel that the whole world is crashing down on me. My meds do not help. i am trapped here and dont care if i live or die

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PIXIEBURDS's Photo PIXIEBURDS Posts: 87
11/10/14 5:59 P

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LadyIrish, Some people are just jerks! People who have not experienced depression have no idea how devastating it can be. Try to remember that depression is a medical condition. It is caused by reduced serotonin levels in the brain. It can be situational, or biological in nature. I have situational depression, I had a friend who lived with severe clinical depression her entire life. Please know that there are people out here who understand, and who can relate. You are not alone.

I visited your blog, Cuisine Quest, It was awesome. I tried to leave a comment, but it didn't post. But I added it to my favorites list.

Edited by: PIXIEBURDS at: 11/10/2014 (18:09)
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LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 55,755
11/9/14 9:53 P

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People tell me I'm "wallowing" in my depression, that I should "get over it." I wonder if they'd tell someone with a broken leg to "get over it" and walk?

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)

"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)

Please visit my blog:
www.cuisinequests.blogspot.com/


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SAMESTUFFDIFDAY Posts: 727
11/9/14 6:39 P

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PIXIE & GETTING TOME, thanks you for the support and the great ideas. I will be making a chart to put on my fridge of things i could do or have instead of ciggies. Thanks for the great idea.. On the friend issues you are absolutely right, and his ex girlfriend told me that we wouldn't be together long.. is a shame he is hard worker, he pays his bills, he is there for his boys ( not so much his daughter tho ), but all the other stuff just over shadows the good. I had an old phone whose contract was just about up and i think he knew that i wasn't going to get another one, so he got a phone for me, i knew it was doomed when after he gave it to me it was followed by " well now you can't break up with me for 2 yrs.." I'm sure he could have been joking...... ? But yeah,..... NO.

boy have i done the exercise today, did pretty much the whole cardio dance workout DVD today, then walked/ jogged my driveway twice, then jogged in place and did jumping jacks, jump rope, and fast marching to my music also.. plus raked leaves, and played with my dog.

i have done pretty well actually on not wanting a cig today.. They say 36 or 48 hours and they are out of your system, I hope to stay on this path of wellness for the rest of my life. House already smells better.

Getting to me... i am going to see if i can find the book at my library, and see what all else i can do, i need a major change in my life, mostly starting with a job, this one is going to be the death of me, or at least a new client.. I used to love my job now i just hate it. Not much opportunity to meet people or nothing, you are just stuck in someone elses house all day. I would like to find the old me who was outgoing and always had friends around her, that girl has been gone for so long i don't know if i can ever find her again. But would sure like to try. Thank you for the name of it, i hope i can find a copy.

I guess i will get off here and head to the library site.. then put my home made noodles away, i made two double batches today, so i have noodles for the next 2 holidays done. I also made a peach crisp today with some of my moms home canned peaches and it is really good to. Did not make a dinner today and kinda regret that but... Am trying new recipes as i am getting tired of the same old same old. I love to cook just have not really taken the time to do much of it here lately... the change in the weather will help with that though..

Again thanks everyone for the support and GREAT ideas, to try to help me stay on track. Wish me luck, will be checking in regular to keep updated... hopefully it will be good news. Hope everyone had a great day

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PIXIEBURDS's Photo PIXIEBURDS Posts: 87
11/9/14 2:56 P

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For SameDayDiffStuff. Your friend sounds like a needy control freak. But the most alarming thing I read in your post is that he took your phone away. You need to get away from this person for good. Such controlling behavior only escalates over time. First it is controlling your time, then your access to family and friends, then your access to escape. Good luck with your quitting smoking. I know it is not easy, but it is so worth it. I am a nurse and I have cared for so many people with breathing problems like emphysema and chronic bronchitis, and even lung cancer. My sister died from her smoking. It is not a pretty way to go. If it helps in any way, make a chart of how much money you spend each week on smoking, then make a different chart and put things you could use that money toward instead. If you post it somewhere you can see it each day, it might be the motivation you need.

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GETTINGTOME Posts: 22
11/9/14 12:50 A

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SAMESTUFFDIFDAY - Do you still have the one smoke left? Smoke it and get it over with. Then, just be done. I am 13 years not smoking. I am so glad I don't smoke any more. I am so glad I'm not burning up my money any more. I quit twice before, once for 5 years, then again for 2 years. I know this time I will not go back. Still though, sometimes I see people smoking and my eyes get big and I think -oooooooohhhh - that looks so good. Yet - I know it's just not worth it to go back to that addiction. There is an appeal to me of some sort of wild abandon, freedom, independence. I always remember Christie Lahti's line in the movie Leaving Normal, "Mmm, smoking, good". But I know, if I have just one, it will be no time and I'll be back to a pack a day. At that point there's no freedom, it's definitely like being in jail.

I started reading a new (old) book yesterday called Changing for Good. It was referenced in a SP article I read. I REALLY like it so far. It's about the different stages of making a change, and what processes are most useful/effective at each stage. I'm going to try to map a change process for myself using the information from the book. I really want to create a new lifestyle.

ARMOMMI2 SparkPoints: (16,961)
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11/8/14 10:47 P

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emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SAMESTUFFDIFDAY Posts: 727
11/8/14 8:33 P

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Good evening room, Hoping everybody had a good day.. or at least a productive one.

I did manage to get lots of stuff done, but not the right things.. I did not get my exercise in today and very upset about it. So while cleaning my house this evening i am incorporating some dancing, i have radio turned up and am moving at least.. Am hoping the music can lift my mood to. I have just been so down the last month or so and cannot seem to pull myself out of it. Is so frustrating.

I also started another major feat today, today is my first day not smoking. Well i have had 3 today.. but still is my first day trying not to smoke. I have one left and boy do i want it. And keep telling myself to just smoke it and get it over with. I am praying i can do it. I cannot justify throwing the money away on them any more.. And sick of my clothes, hair and car smelling like em. My house is not so bad as i smoke the most of em outside on the porch. I am hoping the exercise will help with that to.

my " friend " is up to his same old same old games again.. Wants to argue and nit pick and if i am honest with him then i get the cold shoulder and he will wait for me to get ahold of him.. 1.. i am tired of teenage games.. i am not a teenager and did not play these games when i was one. 2. if you want to be treated like a man then act like one. 3. I don't understand when some one opens up their life, home, bed, and other things to you why you still feel like its not enough. 4. How much dam attention does one dam man need. You are not a god, king, or anything else and i have no desire to worship you. I broke up with him in Aug.. the same day we came home from a vacation over his behavior, and he is the one that came back and wanted to try again, i said i was not interested but if he wanted to be friends then fine, so he still wanted to talk twice a day everyday ... if i didn't reply he would get mad, i said we are not dating anymore, get over it. if i did reply it would start off good then he would start nit picking about my behavior and the fact that i did not show him enough attention when he was around and or would not talk to him enough on the phone and that is why he took it away from me.. and what is he doing wrong that he can't get what he wants.. I am at then end of my rope, and have mentioned to leave me be. So why do i sit here and feel guilty and bad. and am really going to have to hate removing yahoo, and blocking him as well as a few friends to get away from him.. have already taken his kids off my facebook, and now the few mutual friends we have are reposting things he is posting so instead of seeing it once or twice i get to see it numerous time.
the internet is my escape from day to day minute to minute life and going to be very upset if i have to leave it off for while for him to get the hint.. GRRRRR.

Anyway another good song is coming on and i better finish cleaning my kitchen and mopping my floors.. and won't be long will be off to bed. Tomorrow is a new day and i get to start it with a clean slate.. No cigs, more exercise, and a cleaner house.. I hope anyway..

Thanks for letting me vent, hang in there everyone.. i keep telling myself it HAS to get better.

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11/6/14 10:29 P

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Sorry to hear you are having so much anxiety and feeling hopeless. The fact that you reached out to us, tells me that you DO have hope and you're not willing to give up. That's very brave. Often we try to shelter our children from life's unpleasantness, but there is much to be gained by teaching them how to cope with these issues. When my children were little, as a single parent, we didn't have much going for us. But now that they're grown, they tell me that they didn't know that was the case. They felt safe, comfortable, had their needs met and they were having a good time. I was stressed to the max, but we made the best of it. We made Christmas gifts, we had Thanksgiving at the local church, we volunteered to wrap Christmas gifts for the local police department holiday drive for Toys for Tots. Those were great memories for my kids. As adults, they still do those things in their communities with their children. They didn't inherit my anxiety. Please know that we are in your corner and things always get better when we're in it together. Thank you for sharing and joining our Team. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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THEWARRIOR4's Photo THEWARRIOR4 Posts: 13
11/6/14 1:51 P

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I am reaching out to all the groups I have signed up for that deal with emotional issues, I suffer with Panic Disorder and clinical depression. My depression seems to be worse as well as my anxiety. I am not feeling much like a warrior, or the warrior i would like to be. i feel like crawling in a hole and not coming out. I am a single mom of 3 girls that are my world. i don't want them seeing me this way and becoming like me. i do not wish my problems on them. i feel like i am losing all interest, and it is hard for me to stay focused and positive about anything. i feel like a hypocrite b/c i try to seperate me from them, i cn't explain it. i know i am exhausted, sad, anxious and stuck. i am on meds. i dont have insurance, dont have a car, worry about how i am going to get to the grocery store or appts. i walk to work i just feel like giving up today. emoticon

Slow and steady wins the race-tortoise


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11/6/14 8:54 A

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I new to this team. But I'm very glad I found you.

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11/6/14 2:14 A

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ARMOMMI2 thank you for the suggestions on getting them to work. I'm definately going to try staying in the room with them! Both girls have been wanting some "me time" so I will suggest that I stay in the room to supervise. Both are feeling the need for some extra luvs right now. I think I'll suggest that if they get things done we can have a playdate at the park, too. Or maybe I'll do some hula hooping with them. Something that involves fun exercise anyway. With a 4 day weekend coming up for us, it would be good to get them away from anything with a screen.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 Posts: 429
11/6/14 2:03 A

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Tiffanie, may I say, since I am also going through a rough time at work ( a similar villanizing) may I just say that how you dealt with it is really inspiring to me? I have been going to work feeling nervous about who I ran into, but you're right: the best thing I can do is be who I am. Sage advice. I am sorry that you had to have it come up again, but I am glad that you were able to share, because I learned a lot from your sharing.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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11/5/14 9:07 P

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Thank you both.

Still angry and hurt, but I did not have to see the other person today. I have an appointment with my counselor tomorrow, she helps me a lot. I just don't want this event to be the trigger for another depressive episode.

Tiffie :-)

I'd give you a reality check, but my account is overdrawn.

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11/5/14 9:02 P

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Tiffanie, if you;re feeling that strongly about the pain and misery of a co-worker who has betrayed you, and as I'm reading the history of this incident, I find that you have found a remarkable way of dealing with it already. In the past, when you were being ostracized, you changed nothing and did nothing differently and everything worked out well. In addition, count it among your most cherished blessings that this person is going to be out of your life and out of your workplace in the very near future. How fantastic! There is no excuse for someone in authority, misusing their position to hurt others. You have already won the battle. Just try to calmly present yourself as the hard worker you are and do what you do. There might be nothing to be gained by letting someone else's bad behavior change the goodness in you. Be brave and let it go.

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LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 55,755
11/5/14 11:12 A

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There is absolutely nothing petty about what you're feeling. I'd be furious as well. I can more than relate to that kind of workplace garbage. And if someone acted that way to someone I cared for, I'd be boiling.

Can you call in sick and not go to the party?

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)

"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)

Please visit my blog:
www.cuisinequests.blogspot.com/


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11/4/14 10:43 P

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I have a dilemma, but I feel rather petty even considering it an issue.

About 6 months ago my company turned against me during a union campaign. They used me as the villain that the drivers could hate and the company could castigate. As a result of this my working relationship with my manager … a person I would consider a friend, took a horrible nose dive. She took every opportunity to criticize me … to blatantly say that not only was I not doing my job, but I was expecting everyone else to do it for me.

My retaliation was simply to be me … I did not change a single thing and suddenly everything is wonderful.

Tomorrow she is announcing her retirement. This brings tears to my eyes as I know she truly doesn’t want to retire yet, but the stresses she is dealing with are causing her an incredible level of anxiety. She has been off work due to these stresses for a long time, so I have not had a chance to say my goodbye.

Last night I told Pam of her retirement. Pam told me that during the tumultuous time she talked to my manager. My manager told her that they could no longer be friends and that Pam should no longer just “hang around” the yard as it is not right.

I am well beyond hurt … I am beyond angry.

If I had something sharp I would likely be ripping my flesh to shreds … If I see her tomorrow I do not know that I can restrain myself from doing something horrible … to her … to me.

It is taking every ounce on energy to not do something I would regret right now … tomorrow may be worse. I don’t know what to do.


Tiffie :-)

I'd give you a reality check, but my account is overdrawn.

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SAMESTUFFDIFDAY Posts: 727
11/4/14 6:08 P

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Good evening room, another day almost over, another foot put in front of the other.

Another rough day with my lady, for a change she was up when i got there and eating her breakfast, which she had flung from one end of her kitchen to the other. I seriously do not know how they do it. Same with their bathroom ettiquette, are they monkey's and just fling it or what.. after sleeping all morning in her chair, she decided at about 1:30 that it was time to go to bed, while i thought she was using the bathroom she had changed into her pj's and was going to go to bed. When i came in and told her that she could not go to bed she got mad and started cussing and carrying on. So i thought i would make her some lunch as it is the only time they get up, and of course she was not happy with it either and ended up feeding all of it to her dog but the dessert of course,
I used to love my job, these days i just do NOT have the patience for it. I guess it could be because i have with this lady for over 6 yrs. And given that there is 7 girls in this house throughout the week it seems like none of them do anything but fix her something to eat ( if they really do that even ) none of them clean and if they do it is half a$$ed. and it is getting old. I have mentioned this to her daughter and she don't seem to care either. Most of these girls make more money then i do and would really like to know why i get to do all the work. I have left there messes right where they left them and her daughter actually told me i need to do my job that her mothers house was a mess.. And i said the messes that she sees is the evening girls messes and that i would not clean up after them anymore. That worked for about 2 weeks and now is back to same old same old.

Other then Sunday i have been keeping up with my exercises. Today i did some running while doing my driveway walk today.. and boy is my poor leg hurting. But i am determined to keep at it. I have lost almost 5 lbs.. in just a little over a week, not enuf for me but i will take it. If i could keep my eating under control i would lose more. But one step at a time.. or my fave BABY STEPS.

I have not had a sleep study done, maybe i should see about getting one. Even if i sleep all night ( which is rare ) i still wake up extremely tired. my X mother in law has sleep apnea and we cannot get her to wear her mask, to bad i couldn't just use hers and see.. but i know they adjust to the person.. Something to consider, it would be nice to actually feel good for a change..

Anyway, i guess i better go as this is turning into a novel.. sorry bout that. so much stress to vent. But thanks for listening

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GETTINGTOME Posts: 22
11/4/14 4:09 P

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ARMOMMI2 - I like the insight you provided. I totally agree that this co-worker behaved this way to try to create credibility around her power, i.e. try to show me that she is above me. Although, she is not someone who is over me as far as who I report to, she is at a slightly higher level in the organization. BLAH - the whole scenario makes me ill. CREEPY.

LE3INMEMPHIS - Great suggestions too.

You are right about SP. So glad I've become involved with SP. Wonderful place. Wonderful people. Great support. I am grateful for this.

emoticon

Edited by: GETTINGTOME at: 11/4/2014 (16:11)
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11/4/14 3:42 P

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emoticon Those are awesome tools for dealing with difficult people. emoticon

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LE3INMEMPHIS's Photo LE3INMEMPHIS Posts: 86
11/4/14 3:31 P

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I wish we had Like buttons or this motivated me buttons on these pages. So many good comments, particularly agree with ARMOMMI2 and others on teaching children to be self sufficient! I have 2 techniques for difficult people. One for me and one for them. For me I have come to realize the reason they make me so upset is either something I do but don't like about myself or that it triggers something from my past. Either way I need to look at it. For them, I remove the emotional context (yelling, name calling, etc) and pull out what the actual message is and reply to that. Many times I can reply without being defensive which is a HUGE plus. If I get defensive, I know it will only encourage them to attack me again. So I keep my shoulders and voice down/low and breath and in my head say Sir/Mam before I speak. It lowers the tension greatly!

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11/4/14 12:55 P

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People can be hurtful and it's true that it isn't only among children. when adults use bullying tactics it's often because they have power over us.....but don't have any credibility or control in their own lives. Even though people make us feel weak, we know that we have this wonderful network of people here at SP who get to know who we really are and what we believe in. Keep posting and venting and we will keep coming up with suggestions and reminders that you are worth more in this life than those people who choose to take advantage of others. emoticon emoticon

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GETTINGTOME Posts: 22
11/4/14 12:43 A

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SAMESTUFFDIFDAY - I hope your day goes better tomorrow! I have had a hard time at work recently too. About 3 weeks ago a co-worker came to my desk to give me some 'constructive feedback'. She basically ripped me up one side and down the other about my inability to lead meetings, have an objective, and drive to an outcome. I made it through the rest of the work day but after I got home literally cried from 6:00 to 11:30, telling myself I SUCK, I AM NEVER GOING TO EXCEL. Three weeks later I am still chewing on this, and although I have realized this amounted to workplace bullying, I still would just like to quit. I want to be away from MEAN people. I thought this kind of stuff would end when I grew up. Here I am almost 50 and still putting up with jerks.

Wanted to mention that you might want to see a sleep doctor. This past summer I did a sleep test, found out I have mild sleep apnea, and got a CPAP. I LOVE IT! I sleep so much better and can actually wake up in the morning.

Give yourself a pat on the back for all you've accomplished - walking up the driveway and a significant amount of weight loss. WOW - I'm impressed and hope I will follow in your footsteps on the weight loss. Kudos to you!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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11/3/14 8:06 P

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When my children were young, I also taught them to be self sufficient and it has served them well throughout the years. When it was time to do chores or clean their rooms ( I still hate doing MINE!) I tried to make it a special event. I would stay in the room with them while they cleaned up so that I could offer suggestions on how to make it easier and more efficient. Sometimes I read them a story while they were working away. Then, when it was done, they got a special treat......not candy.....but something they really wanted but couldn't get themselves. I also had a special set of sheets for each child that they had picked out themselves and they could put them on their beds that day. If one child finished their chore early, they got rewarded for helping the other get theirs done. It was team work and family events. Sometimes kids don't know how to do things around the house so if a Mom is in the room with them, they don't feel that they're being punished by having to do the chore. it worked for us

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SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 Posts: 429
11/3/14 7:12 P

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Thank you everybody. I had a remarkably better day once I got all that off my chest. Also, some people made a point of seeking me out and doing something friendly (I think someone may have pointed out last Friday that I had been getting dissed by certain people, because many people were making a point of saying hello.

I will try a chiropractor if my insurance will cover it, PIXIEBURDS,and thank you for that suggestion. To have the doctor just dismiss it with bunch of motrin made me feel like maybe I was making a big deal out of nothing (it was a doctor they brought in when the regular doctor called in sick, and he was basically awful). Knowing that others had to do more than motrin makes me feel like I'm still pretty normal.

My kids aren't actually bad about their chores once they get to doing them. It's getting them started that is a battle. They are okay at following through though.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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PIXIEBURDS's Photo PIXIEBURDS Posts: 87
11/3/14 5:08 P

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For SALAM4545, It can be so hard when people attack you and it is not your fault. But if nothing else the child was protected.

When my kids were at home I practiced logical consequences to help them learn to take care of their own stuff. I taught them how to run the washer and dryer, then if they didn't get clothes in the laundry, and they ran out, it was their job to wash them. I took things away that were left laying about and they had to earn them back.

Regarding your plantar fasciitis, have you tried going to a chiropractor? I used to have it so bad that I could only take 3-4 steps and then I couldn't bear weight. The Chiropractor worked on it and showed me how to wrap my foot to relieve the stress on the foot. It really helped. Good luck to you.

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11/3/14 9:09 A

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I HEAR YOU!!!....ALL I CAN OFFER TODAY IS A HUG. ITS A SPECIAL KIND OF HUG FROM ONE DEPRESSED PERSON TO ANOTHER...IT'S WHEN WE HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE AND NEED SO MUCH OURSELVES AND CANNOT ASK FOR IT

....ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS LEAN FORWARD INTO EACH OTHER AND HANG ON....HUGZZZZZZZZZZZZ

SAMESTUFFDIFDAY Posts: 727
11/3/14 8:01 A

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I am determined to work my way out of this funk that i have been in for months now. I have started exercising again in the hopes that i can work out some stress and frustration, so far all i have seemed to do is deal with aches and pains. I know if i keep it up tho that i will be able to work thru those. I have been getting on my eliptical machine in the mornings and then i walk from the road all the way up my driveway after work.. My driveway is almost a mile long and when coming home it is mostly uphill. Has sure givin me leg cramps. I have not seen an improvement with my sleep yet. I am hoping it will eventually help.

Lack of sleep can really mess with you, and as i have had trouble now for years off and on i keep having high hopes that exercise will help. I do take an over the counter sleep aid when i just can't stand it any more. I do not want to get a prescription for sleep aids as they can become very addicting.

Work is just stressing me out to the point i have wanted to quit but have no other options at the moment. Because of my leg problems i do not think i could stand on my feet in the same position for 10 to 12 hours. Or i would be applying at one of the factories around here. I need to look for couple new clients.. but in the home health care business you don't always get a client that gives as many hours in one spot like i have. The thought of driving all over the county does not impress me much..

the harder i try the faster i fail. And it is getting old. When i stand up and brush myself off all i seem to do is walk face first into a brick wall. This picking myself up and brushing myself off is getting me no where. But i know staying down will not accomplish anything either.

Anyway, I am off here to see what else i can get into this morning.. maybe try for a 3rd round on my machine..

Thanks for listening and i hope everybody as a decent Monday. Everybody as always is in my thoughts and prayers.

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SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 Posts: 429
11/2/14 11:27 P

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I have been really struggling this month and it has undone all my weight loss. I quit caring what I put into my mouth, and even though my meds made this month bearable, I am not happy.

In a nutshell...I have been very open about my story of Domestic Violence. I also post on my social page some kind of awareness, and October was Domestic Violence awareness month. During October one of the kids at the school where I teach insisted that his parent beat him/her. (I should mention that by law, anyone who works with children must call Child Protective Services if there is a compelling reason to believe the childs claim). Someone called. Later, the parent sat in front of the school and told anyone who would listen that I was crazy, targeting their child as being abused etc. I was harassed like crazy for about a week, with people saying that I was crazy, that I didn't understand the culture of the families there (most of the families are immigrants), and that I was responsible for CPS being called last year. (I didn't even work there then. AND that particular family has been very supportive of me this year). The administration did address it, but I've still been ostracized. And because by law all information is classified, I cannot speak up to defend myself.

September was Pediatric Cancer Awareness month. I suppose I'm lucky that the kids in school are reasonably healthy. God only knows what parents would say I had done.

In addition, my doctor has not given me any good treatment for the plantar fascitis, so I am in almost constant pain. Not really high level pain, but constant pain, enough that walking is pretty awful.

I've also been very busy for the last month, and my house is messy. I just feel a overwhelmed by the clutter, like I can barely keep up, and never get on top of it. My kids aren't really helping there. They try, but they just don't seem to get that putting things away does not mean putting it on the kitchen table.

I am really grateful though for this forum. At least it gives me a place to vent.


Edited by: SALAM4545 at: 11/2/2014 (23:37)
What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 55,755
11/2/14 8:36 P

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Sunday nights depress me. I want to be cooking huge family dinners but I've ended up alone. Some Sunday nights I just forage for odds and ends in the fridge. Tonight I made a big pot of spaghetti sauce and hamburger/Italian sausage meatballs in the crock pot. But I wish I had a tableful of kids and grands to cook a big Sunday supper for.

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)

"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)

Please visit my blog:
www.cuisinequests.blogspot.com/


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11/2/14 8:00 P

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I wore a bright pink bandana. I am still able to smile. I just need to regain my sense of contentment. I think that will come as I get use to living alone.

Patience. Balance. Moderation.

"Fly on the wings of Despair!" --Kamelot


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LE3INMEMPHIS's Photo LE3INMEMPHIS Posts: 86
11/2/14 7:01 P

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On days when I feel dreary, I wear really bright colors (opposite of what I feel like). That way everyone approaches me with a smile instead of another dreary or sympathetic look. emoticon

BTW I totally agree with the Small things post. Making myself do the first positive thing can be so difficult. But it ends up helping.

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11/2/14 2:10 P

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I miss my son,. The last time I saw him was the night of October 20. He woke me up in the middle of the night and told me that he had to leave. He packed a suitcase and gave me a hug.

I hope he has a warm coat. He gave me a contact number. I'm going to call and find out if he needs a coat.

Patience. Balance. Moderation.

"Fly on the wings of Despair!" --Kamelot


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11/1/14 10:47 P

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PIXIEBURDS's Photo PIXIEBURDS Posts: 87
10/31/14 12:29 A

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Dear LadyIrish, when work is so crazy try to remind yourself that no one is indispensable. Even the greatest generals get reassigned, the world will go on if you take a break. Not only is it necessary for your emotional and physical well-being, it is against the law to make people work when they are clocked out. I totally understand, because I am a nurse and there is always so much to do and people's meds have to be given at specific times etc. But you need to take care of yourself.

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10/29/14 10:59 P

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I'm tired. I'm getting run so crazy at work I can't even take a break. I clock out for lunch, keep working, clock back in, keep working. And I've just been in a total fog since my adopted sister died last month.

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)

"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)

Please visit my blog:
www.cuisinequests.blogspot.com/


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PIXIEBURDS's Photo PIXIEBURDS Posts: 87
10/29/14 3:04 P

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I am so sorry you are having such a tough time. Sometimes we can't make the bad things in life go away, but we can change the way we look at them, and how we respond to them. My favorite bible verse is "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." Try to focus on what you can do, and reach out to those who love you. It is hard to be so far away from family and friends. I lived in Germany for 4 1/2 years a long time ago and I had to turn to my church family for support and nurturing. I don't know if you have a faith based life. But there must be someone whom you can turn to.

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JEFFJAPAN SparkPoints: (1,589)
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10/26/14 2:14 A

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Hi,I don't know if any one remember me. It's been a while since I posted here. m just feeling tired and emotionally drained. I have Melas (miochondria ecephalomyopathy with lactic acidosis), Th lactic acid make exercise a real pain. It's also caused me stroke like episode (that left me with T2 FLAIR inthe upper part of my right side of my brain. I can't laugh or smile. I can't meditate. i have insomnia. and i don't dream when I sleep. And social anxiety. I've been liveing the life of hermit out side of work ever since my Melas stroke. I'm sure they are all related. All anti depressants even ones not on the list have been detrimental for me. I don't know what i should do. I'm living in Japan and all my shrink does is prescribe me mitotoxic meds,
http://www.mitoaction.org/files/Mito%20T
oxins_0.pdf

THINIT2WINIT's Photo THINIT2WINIT SparkPoints: (2,421)
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10/25/14 8:38 P

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People's whose opinions matter say I have no sense of humor. Other people disagree with that, but, it still hurts because you don't want to be portrayed as that. I've found it's often hard to change someone's opinion. Sorry about your laundry. emoticon

SAMESTUFFDIFDAY Posts: 727
10/25/14 12:42 P

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Today is proving to be very difficult. Life just seems to be kicking me in the face repeatedly. Nothing is going right and i am at the end of my rope.
Am doing the slow drown thing and wish in some ways life would just hurry up and get it over with.
The harder i try the faster i fail.
Am getting tired of being called a fun sucker or buzz killer.. because i have to stay home because i am broke and having things ( work ) to do. Must be nice to not have to work, or have bills, or have to clean house and cook and all those things i have to do. I get told all the time it must be nice to make a paycheck, well the person that says that to me ALL the time .... always seems to have money in his pocket, eats out almost every meal. Doesn't even make coffee at home .. this person goes out for that to.. Always has a full tank of gas to run, cigs to smoke, and money to party. and money to spend on antiques and " pretties ", and doesn't work.. doesn't clean house, doesn't cook, i wish i had it so bad !

Been running all morning since 8:30. First stop laundry mat since we still are having water trouble. Am home long enough to make a tuna sandwhich and look outside to see that all my clean laundry is laying on the ground because the clothes line broke... AGAIN !! Can't afford to go back to laundry mat so i guess my nice clean clothes for this week is not going to happen.

Before i go on i am going to get off here and just go back to bed i think. Who cares if anything else gets done..

OVER IT.. ALL OF IT

hope every body else's day is going better then mine.

screw baby steps
am just not going to take any more steps today.
Same

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ARMOMMI2 SparkPoints: (16,961)
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10/22/14 1:10 P

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Issues of trust are a barrier between client and therapist, or any relationship, for that matter. It's hard to find the right counselor who is nurturing and can be trusted. We let it all out sometimes and have to eat it later. I find that this team, altho not a substitute for talk therapy, is welcoming and nurturing and provides real life suggestions for dealing with the parts of life that we struggle with. As we get healthier, we gain confidence and we reach out to others when they need us. Great Team!!

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14HARRIS's Photo 14HARRIS SparkPoints: (725)
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10/17/14 4:29 P

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Hi There,
I dont think it is a good idea to work in the same office where you receive couseling. Either find a new counselor or get a new job. based on the little information you gave, I dont know that this doctor would be the best fit for you, she has already dismissed you twice. as far as the approval for whatever it is, to have a clinic up and running and be lacking any necessary certification would be a red flag to me. I dont completely get the whole scenario, but for a person dealing with depression the lst thing you need in yuour life is uncertainty-especially when it comes to a job and mental health. Reconsider finding another therapist-free help may not be the best help.

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10/16/14 8:14 P

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I have been put in a corner too by people. Learning to trust the right people is a process a process that needs to happen.

KAZMIRA2 Posts: 2
10/16/14 10:09 A

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I agree. comfortable IS good. And that feeling is so appreciated when it comes!
We can get there!

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10/16/14 7:26 A

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Comfortable is Good! emoticon

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FATCRISMATIC's Photo FATCRISMATIC SparkPoints: (9,552)
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10/15/14 10:33 P

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To all of the people that feel lonely my heart goes out to you. Been there! But I started to stick up for myself and say no I wont go because I feel uncomfortable. It could be my man, or my daughters.

On my bucket list I have so much I want to do. But I forgot to add: I want to die happy. Oh! I'm not suicidal.

The other day I was speaking with a friend and she said that people aren't happy all the time. They're just comfortable in their life.

Comfortable works for me!!!
Chris

Edited by: FATCRISMATIC at: 10/15/2014 (22:34)
Building my bucket list and enjoying the ones I've accomplished!!! I quit smoking and have visited 34 out of 50 states. But I want to see the grand canyon, smithsonian institute, eat lobster in Portland Maine, a train trip for two months down the east coast then rent a car to other states I have not been to in the South and have enough money to thoroughly enjoy Vegas or Atlantic City and I'm sure I will think of other adventures.


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10/15/14 9:31 A

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I feel much the way you do. Quite alone. Have found people here and at meetings who make me feel it is possible to climb out of this mire. A little progress everyday builds confidence and speeds the process. I am hopeful for you and for me.

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10/14/14 10:08 A

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It's very good news about the medication working. emoticon Sometimes it's very hard to stop other people;s behavior from putting us in a mood. And not appreciating where we are. Sometimes it shows a remarkable command of the English Language to say absolutely nothing. author unknown. emoticon

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MAKING-PROGRESS's Photo MAKING-PROGRESS SparkPoints: (15,286)
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10/13/14 11:37 P

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I'm sorry you had a bad day. emoticon I have "been there, done that". It is an ugly feeling. emoticon

Glad to hear you aren't feeling too horrible about it. I'm not sure of your details, it could be that your action was, in fact, the right thing to do and you just need to be strong on your own. emoticon If it was bad advice to begin with...you need to reconsider who you put your trust in. emoticon

I'm sure things will get better for you, the did for me emoticon

Making Life a little better each day.

I can not control what others do, I can only control how I choose to react.



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SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 Posts: 429
10/13/14 9:59 P

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I'm going to reach out and ask for some emotional support. Life kicked me pretty hard today. And people who had advised me to take the actions that I did then left me hanging. I'm feeling angry and betrayed.

On a good note, my meds are starting to kick in, so even though I had a terrible, horrible, very bad day, so even though I am in a bad way, I am not completely in a black dog period.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau


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10/13/14 7:16 P

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Even with supportive friends and family, it's often difficult to find someone who really understands what you mean when you feel alone. It can happen in a crowded room, in a crowded family room, .....anywhere. I've heard so many positive and doable suggestions here today for lifting our spirits. It sounds like several people are feeling this low mood. If you talk about the calm before the storm (an not wanting to get scientific, or anything) there is truth to that. There are negative ions in the atmosphere before a rain or a storm in the weather and they definitely effect our moods. We cannot do anything about the weather and sometimes we can't do anything about our family, our work, and our moods. But , please know, that this is TEMPORARY. Just as sure as the sun will come out tomorrow, we will feel better with each passing moment.....and we always know we have eachother. Love and Hugs to all of us. Drop kick that bad mood right out the door. !!

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THINIT2WINIT's Photo THINIT2WINIT SparkPoints: (2,421)
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10/13/14 6:54 P

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I'm sorry you have to do that, saying goodbye is hard.

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10/13/14 4:25 P

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Thinit, I am very sorry for your loss. I am driving to see my grandma this weekend so that I can say goodbye. She is in the hospital, and it looks like this will be the end. I just hope she makes it until I can see her.

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NEEDTOBESLIM3's Photo NEEDTOBESLIM3 SparkPoints: (11,024)
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10/12/14 7:27 A

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Hugs to everyone. XX

My God loves me, he shelters me from harm.
PIXIEBURDS's Photo PIXIEBURDS Posts: 87
10/12/14 1:59 A

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I am so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. It is never easy to let go of someone we love. But you can make it through this sad time. Give yourself permission to grieve, and even to have a crappy day now and again. You are human, and God knows what your needs are. I hope tomorrow goes better for you.

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THINIT2WINIT's Photo THINIT2WINIT SparkPoints: (2,421)
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10/11/14 7:56 P

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I have recently confronted my denial of my grandmother's death. Prior to anyof this I should mention I'm dealing with a physically demanding medical condition. Today I think the hurt of the condition and my grief combined, exploded into a big mess. My attitude was very bad today and said/done things I wish I didn't, I just want it all to go away.

PIXIEBURDS's Photo PIXIEBURDS Posts: 87
10/7/14 12:17 A

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I know there are times when we all feel so alone and hopeless. I have been there too. But I try to remember that God has a purpose for me. There were times in my life that I was near to being homeless, and even times when we ate weeds from the yard because we had no money for food. I had a wonderful pastor at the time who explained to me that my need was God's way of giving someone else an opportunity to serve Him, by meeting my need.

I try to remember that when I need to ask for help. On the other hand, I try to remember that even one kind word to someone you meet can be the difference that makes their day. As you go through your day, look for opportunities to made someone else feel better. Compliment the nice shirt the person is wearing, or their hair style. You will find that the more you reach out to others to make them feel better, you will feel better too.

Edited by: PIXIEBURDS at: 10/7/2014 (00:17)
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SKINNYMELISA's Photo SKINNYMELISA SparkPoints: (2,491)
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10/5/14 3:06 P

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Very well said MAKING-PROGRESS!

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MAKING-PROGRESS's Photo MAKING-PROGRESS SparkPoints: (15,286)
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10/5/14 12:01 P

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Small things: sometimes just a quick errand can help. emoticon

It makes me get dressed a little nicer and fix my face and hair a little. emoticon

The walk to and from the car helps me notice what a beautiful day it is. emoticon emoticon emoticon

A good song on the radio usually cheers me up emoticon , and if all else fails...

being nice/friendly to someone at the store usually gets me a positive response in return. emoticon emoticon

At the very least smiling makes me feel a little better, and a smile in return feels nice. emoticon

Making Life a little better each day.

I can not control what others do, I can only control how I choose to react.



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NOMORESHMOO's Photo NOMORESHMOO Posts: 753
10/2/14 7:46 P

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Angelique, most of us don't have understanding family and even my therapist and psychiatrist ask me why I still speak to my mother, grandmother, and brother. I don't speak to my biological father.
What I have learned is to speak to them, but not share with them. I have created a distance in order to protect me. It took time, but I found a good group (small, but wonderful) of friends who do support me and help me out. Those are the people I know I can count on.
As for the thoughts of ending it, I try my hardest to remember that I am here for a reason and there are people who would miss me terribly. My biological father attempted and failed, he is forever the equivalent of a toddler. I would not want to make the same error and be dependent for the rest of my life on my mother and brother (like my bio-father is). There are things worse than what is messing with me today.
The last few months have been bad for me. I am focusing on decorating for Halloween, making costumes, and watching my traditional horror flicks. If I have a project, then it helps me focus on something else. This works for me.

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ANGELIQUENZ's Photo ANGELIQUENZ SparkPoints: (985)
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9/30/14 6:11 P

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Thank you all for your kind thoughts, it does help to know there's someone out there that understands and supports me even if my family don't.

Angelique

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403LYN's Photo 403LYN Posts: 5
9/30/14 5:59 P

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Angelique, I have felt this way many times over the years and I can totally relate.
Two important things - you recognize how you feel and you have reached out.
The third important point - you are not alone and we acknowledge and respect where you are at.
Get through today, one step at a time. Get some rest, knowing that tomorrow can be a better day.


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9/30/14 4:48 P

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Thanks for the article. I was lucky because today is the day I see my therapist. She always makes me day seem better.

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AKA_GAMERMOM's Photo AKA_GAMERMOM SparkPoints: (22,649)
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9/30/14 3:49 P

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www.sparkpeople.com/resource/wellness_arti
cles.asp?id=1557


"ReginaMary, you're not always right...but you're never wrong." ~ Daddy

EST - Upstate NY


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JF4009 Posts: 8
9/30/14 2:42 P

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For those of you having a rough day - hang in there! Then, take one small step and do one positive, small thing today. Sometimes that's all a person can do. Here is an article that I have saved on Spark People and I refer to it often.

http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/well
ness_articles.asp?id=1557


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