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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 7,300
3/27/15 11:55 A

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I think "Part Eighteen" is the number of times the "Help, I'm Having a Bad Day" Topic has been re-started. I think I remember someone saying that when there gets to be a certain number of posts on this thread that they have to start it over again - because if they don't, then people who have a slower internet connection have a hard time accessing it.

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Edited by: MILLERISHEALTHY at: 3/27/2015 (11:56)
"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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3/27/15 11:38 A

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I hope your day improves!! Mines is going better than it started out. My back hurts (first time doing exercise in a while). I'm still planning on a 30 minute walk though.

What is "Part EIGHTEEN"?

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JWHEELER05's Photo JWHEELER05 Posts: 60
3/26/15 3:13 P

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Hi FITPUNKETTE

I have tried acupuncture and it actually increase my anxiety (because I don't like needles)

I do try and get massages often so I guess I go the more acupressure route :)

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3/26/15 3:05 P

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I hope your day ends on a better note!!! Injuries can be a hard thing to deal with, especially if they interfere with your fitness goals. I'm hoping the meds help you. Have you ever tried acupuncture? My mom has bad arthritis and joint pain and it's really helped her a lot.
Best of luck.

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3/26/15 10:16 A

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Hi all...

not the best of days so far (it's only 7 am where I'm at). I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and I'm having what they call a "flare". Essentially my knee is so swollen and tender and painful. It's even getting to the point where it hurts to walk.

I did go to the Dr. on Tuesday and I did get meds (woohoo) now starting with 1/2 a pill to get back into the swing of things.

Fingers crossed that the rest of my day turns out better!

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3/26/15 8:52 A

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I, too, had a couple of bad days. The weather is wet and dark here. But I have a lot to do today, so I better start doing it.
Hugs, everyone.
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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 7,300
3/25/15 5:35 P

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Hellos to everyone and hugs to all who need one.
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I've had a couple of very bad days, but am trying to be positive - or at least pretend to be.

Miller emoticon


"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 7,300
3/25/15 5:25 P

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PIXIEBURDS, Congratulations on the weight loss!! That's great!!
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(I would love to get below 180 again!!!)







"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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PIXIEBURDS's Photo PIXIEBURDS Posts: 273
3/24/15 12:15 A
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Some plusses and some minuses today. I stepped on the scale and it was finally below 180. Only by two tenths of a pound, but it was there! Yay! But I didn't get to see my husband today. Mom was late getting up and I needed to make sure she took her meds. This evening I had to buy some groceries and then take care of mom, so I didn't get to see him this evening either. Well, tomorrow I go in to work an hour early for a meeting. So I will get off an hour early and will go see him then.

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3/23/15 6:21 P

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I burnt dried kale, carrot, celery Stock, parsley, in my revere ware pot .anti depressants not working. got the runs, also. Not my day must clean the fridge.

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3/19/15 10:13 A

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PIXIEBURDS-LOL And sending you lots of hugs.
I had two bad days with allergy and sinus pressure but I feel better today. Going to exercise now and then walk with a friend. Trying to keep anxiety under control.
Hugs to everyone here.

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3/18/15 11:24 P
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Today at the nursing home my husband told the therapist that" his mouth was so dry that a spider ran across his tongue and kicked up dust" I thought I would share that just to put a smile on your faces. His is doing a little better now that his ankle is stabilized in a boot. And they are working on building his upper body strength back up. But he gets very confused at night, and it really bothers him. They couldn't get him in for his ortho. appointment until April 2nd. The ER doctor said he should be seen in a week. I sure hope this stay in the nursing home is a short one. Since he wasn't hospitalized first Medicare won't pay for his stay in the nursing home. Just when it looked like we were going to crawl out from the burden of the homecare expense, now I will have to pay for his room and board at the nursing home. Oh yes, and I have to pay in for taxes too. Yippee.

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3/17/15 10:37 A

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Going to watch a St Patrick's Day parade later on. Wishing you all a happy day.

My God loves me, he shelters me from harm.


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3/17/15 10:15 A

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This is such a friendly team - it sounds like lots of us are appreciating the changing of the seasons. I went out for a walk last night for the first time in ages - only 10 mins but worth it - it lifted my mood. Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! emoticon

The happiest people in the world are not those that have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything they have.

Live simply...
Love generously...
Care deeply...
Speak kindly.



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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 7,300
3/17/15 12:20 A

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PIXIEBURDS, I'm glad to hear your job situation worked out well. I'm sorry to hear about the broken ankle and nursing home worsening the dementia, though. My mother's dementia got worse when she had to go to the rehabilitation/nursing center, too. Others told us it was normal for that to happen, but it was still hard to witness it.

I hope tomorrow will be a less hectic day for you.

Miller emoticon emoticon

"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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3/16/15 11:59 P
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It has been so beautiful and warm the past few days. Today we hit 76 degrees. I went to see my sweetheart at the nursing home this morning. He got terribly confused during the night and didn't know where he was. I expected that. He has Alzheimer's and being placed in the nursing home for his broken ankle is bound to make the dementia worse. Fortunately, my supervisor at work was very supportive, and she completed my probationary evaluation. so I am officially off probation and can claim PTO for coming in late today because I had to go to the nursing home to fill out his admission paperwork. It has been a hectic day. But this evening is pretty quiet with me and my mom.

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3/16/15 12:17 P

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Me too! Can't wait for some light gardening emoticon

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3/16/15 10:54 A

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It's been a long cold winter and especially difficult for SAD sufferers. So glad that spring is almost officially here!!
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"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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3/16/15 9:17 A

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I'm trying to crawl out of my SAD shell. I have been extremely unsociable all winter long, in real world and online alike. So I'm just saying hello and hugs to everyone here.

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3/14/15 11:37 A

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Oh, what a lovely time! So happy you were able to go to the seaside together on a bright and beautiful day. My favorite place on earth is at the sea - we call it the beach here - and I'd love to live there someday, but it's very expensive and probably won't happen. I hope your interviews go well next week and that you get a good job. I'm certain you'll be able to do it well, so no worries there! I'll be thinking of you as you have your first Mother's Day without your mum. It'll be the same for me in May when we celebrate here in the States. It is a comfort that we can remember our mothers are free from anxiety, worry, and pain. Hugs and blessings to you. Take care.

Miller emoticon emoticon

"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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NEEDTOBESLIM3's Photo NEEDTOBESLIM3 SparkPoints: (11,259)
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3/14/15 9:07 A

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Took another day out yesterday and went to the seaside with my daughter and our young dog. It was a beautiful sunny day and far too bright to stay at home doing chores (or not, lol). It felt a bit like running away and we all enjoyed ourselves very much. This week has been so enjoyable and it came from me letting go of the purse strings a little and spending some rainy/sunny day money. Tomorrow is Mother's Day and my first without my Mother. This week has been a bit of a celebration and I do feel blessed to have spent a lot of it with C. I'll remember Mum tomorrow and be glad that she has passed away from worry and anxiety. She worried an awful lot in her final years and thought she would be homeless for some reason.
I have two interviews for work next week, It's in care work and I enjoy it. I pray that I get a job and that I can do it well.
Money might become a lot tighter once I start full time work with no subsidies and I feel nervous. Still, we have never been homeless or without food. God is good and I believe he will provide us with what he wants us to have and we are so lucky and privileged every day.

Have a good Saturday team, I'm going in to town to drop my daughter off and to have a look round. We're going to try to live on items out of the freezer and storecupboard this week as they are overflowing and need to be used up. (Make up for spending the budget on gallivanting all week, lol).

Blessings. XX

Edited by: NEEDTOBESLIM3 at: 3/14/2015 (09:09)
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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 7,300
3/12/15 5:15 P

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PERESEVERANCE55, thanks so much for sharing your experiences with me. It has helped me a lot and has given me hope. Also helped me remember how worried my parents were about my brother and it turned out that he's been more successful than any of us. We really can't tell how someone's life is going to turn out just by looking at the early adult years and that's a relief!! Thanks again!!

PIXIEBURDS, thanks for explaining "tight" job market. I'm 60 yrs. old and have only now realized that I've said it backwards all these years. I don't know if it's a regional thing, or what, but around here when people say the job market is tight, they mean that jobs are very scarce. But you're absolutely right - a tight market means there are more openings than applicants. One reason I am scared is because my daughter says the word around campus is that it is very very hard to find work. Maybe it's just a rumor - I hope so.

SKIMMYMAU, I'll hold onto that - that she'll get where she's going in her own time. I surely hope that's the case and I believe it is. I just don't feel like I have that much time left and even though she's an adult, she doesn't act like one. She'd be the first to say that. She's very much a home-body and is much more mature and responsible in some ways than her peers, but she's been too sheltered and isn't worldly or street-smart. I just want her to get a life of her own before I die. I guess I should stop worrying 'cause it occurred to me today that if I do die, she'll learn how to "get a life" real fast - she'll have to.



Thanks again to you all. I'm grateful for all your support.

Miller emoticon emoticon

Edited by: MILLERISHEALTHY at: 3/12/2015 (18:06)
"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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3/12/15 9:25 A

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of course you want her to do the best she can cos you are her mum. But - she is an adult now and has to be supported to make choices, even if you know they are mistakes. This is how we learn, by trying it different ways until we get it right. She may be a bit more roundabout in her way of doing things but with your continued love and support she'll get where she's goiing in her own way and in her own time but eventually.

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3/11/15 11:09 P
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Millerishealthy, I wouldn't worry too much about your daughter. The job market is kind of tight right now, meaning there are more openings than there are applicants. Even if she doesn't find the right fit right away, it is all experience and in the end she will probably be fine.

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3/11/15 10:59 P

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I have four kids - the last one still in university and I hope, about to go on a work term. The first one was gifted, but dropped out of high school - I thought he would never leave the basement, he now is a web page designer and quite successful, the second shaved her head bald , and got a giant tattoo of a pn unknown object - she is now married with two kids and a buyer for a large retail chain, the third went to communtity college , works as a supervisor at the same college. Each one of them had us worried sick about their futures - but we can never live their lives can we? It is hard for kids now - but we can't clear the path for them, and some of them balk when you eve point out their might be a path. At one point , I would have been thrilled if my oldest just went outside let alone gain employ,ment. I am not sure Mom worry ends, but I am not sure Mom worry helps either.

MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 7,300
3/11/15 8:24 P

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I didn't have a bad day. In fact, as days go, it was pretty good. But I am very worried about my daughter's future. It seems most college students do an internship the summer before their senior year. My daughter didn't do one and now she's due to graduate college in about six weeks and has no job prospects.

She's spent her whole entire life just studying and making straight A's (no social life at all and doesn't really want one) so she could get a good job, but I know it would have been better if she had just made C's and got some work experience. I told her this over and over but she wouldn't listen - or the OCD she inherited from me wouldn't let her change. She did do an internship at her college after her freshman year, but that was five yrs. ago. (She missed two separate semesters of college due to being sick).

I feel I should have "made" her do an internship last summer, but my mother was declining mentally and physically (she died in July) and my sisters were making my life a living hell concerning decisions about my mother and between all that and my own depression, anxiety and OCD, I just couldn't do anything extra. I was at the end of my rope. I was also worried that if my daughter worked all summer she would get sick again and have to miss yet another semester of college and delay graduation even more.

I want her to graduate, get a job, and get a life so that I can stop worrying so much. With her challenges and mine, things have always been hard. I love her more than anything, but being a parent has been the hardest thing I've ever done.

Thanks for letting me vent here. I don't have anyone to talk to. I have a husband, but he doesn't listen.



"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 7,300
3/11/15 8:11 P

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Hi Dee, your day yesterday sounds just lovely. I can understand your feeling anxious at times, but it's good that you're trying to be positive. Looking at this job hunting time as a break is a smart idea - pretty soon you'll probably be working all the time and wishing you had some time off. I'm glad you're enjoying being out and about.

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"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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3/11/15 8:01 P

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Hello team, very mixed weather here, yesterday was glorious. I spent a couple of hours in the park, did a bit of walking, reading and chatting to folk. It was really uplifting. Chloe and I went to the cinema last night. We saw "The boy next door". Some very jumpy moments at times. Good fun. It was nice to get out and about. However today is very wet and miserable. I had a lie in this morning and I'm going to meet one of my church friends for a catch up over lunch. I might as well treat this job hunting time as a break as well instead of getting depressed and moping around. Still feeling anxious at times and doubts about my life but I'm trying to be positive about what I can and have done rather than over dwelling on chances I may have missed. I have no money worries today as everything is up to date, so I am so very thankful for that, there even was enough to have my hair cut and styled last week!!

Thinking and praying for you all to have a blessed day. XX



My God loves me, he shelters me from harm.


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3/11/15 5:56 P

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Sorry about that. I tested it right after I posted and had the same thing happen. I tried to edit the post and delete it but you're way too quick for me. lol. I'll see if I can work it out. Thanks for the feedback.

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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 7,300
3/11/15 5:51 P

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ARMOMMI2, thanks for sharing, but I couldn't get the link to work.

"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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3/11/15 5:48 P

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SMALLVILLEFAN's Photo SMALLVILLEFAN SparkPoints: (6,489)
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3/11/15 12:15 P

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Thanks so much guys for the helpful comments. I will try them :)

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3/11/15 10:46 A

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That's great, PIXIEBURDS!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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3/10/15 11:42 P
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We have had three days in a row in the mid 40's, our neighbors' yard is almost snow free and I can see the edges of my raised garden beds. I thought I saw a hint of green grass amid the snow today. Yay, spring is coming!

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3/10/15 6:43 P

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Hi LAURANCE, I'm glad the temps are up where you live. They are here, too. It helps so much just to have some warmth and sunshine!!

emoticon emoticon

"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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3/10/15 6:40 P

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SMALLVILLEFAN, I struggle with binge eating at night, too. In fact, I was thinking of joining the Spark team called Living Binge Free to help me cope. Here's a list of things that some people say can help. I've tried most of them with varying degrees of success...

Brush your teeth after eating. This works very well, especially if like me, youre too lazy to brush/floss again.

Chew gum (I like Extra Dessert Delights)

Journal privately about your feelings are you eating for comfort because you're frustrated or bored, or because of some other feeling you want to escape? Write about it.

Blog publicly on Spark about your struggle and how you are trying to combat it.

Read Success Stories on Spark and find out how other emotional eaters fought and won the battle.

Spend time on Spark, replying to others posts and trying to help and encourage them.

Play games in the Spark Game Room under the Community tab, Message Boards

Dance around to music

March in place during TV commercials.

If youre hungry, eat a healthy snack.

Drink a hot or cold beverage, sweetened with artificial sweetener.

Go to another room in your house or apt. a chance of scenery can break the temptation.

Play a computer game.

Put together a jigsaw puzzle, knit or crochet anything to keep your hands busy.

Balance your checkbook or clean out your purse.

Take a hot bubble bath or a hot shower.

Do a crossword puzzle or Sudoku.

Ask yourself if eating the extra food is going to help your problems.

Go to bed with a good book.


Even though I have this list, I still struggle a lot. And I don't eat just healthy things like you.
Hang in there!!

Miller emoticon emoticon

Edited by: MILLERISHEALTHY at: 3/10/2015 (18:41)
"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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REBABE's Photo REBABE Posts: 106
3/10/15 5:03 P

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Try brushing your teeth right after you eat your last meal for the day, before you begin to binge eat. emoticon

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3/10/15 1:08 P

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Hi, I'm new to this group. Been depressed for the last couple of years. I'm currently on medication, which helps in comparison to the years before without it. Still, I get really depressed sometimes and when I do, I eat.

Lately, I have been binging at night to cope with my depressive feelings. It is a 'healthy' binge as all the foods I eat are healthy. This is de-railing me and making me feel depressed in itself because I am not losing weight.

Any advice?

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3/9/15 8:56 P

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Hello there, Miller! I, too, have issues with bad side effects. I tried medication for several years and got side effects but no relief.

I agree about doing something physical. This has been a miserable winter. Caregiving duties have been crushing, and the bitter cold was hard on me. I got very little exercise. Shame on me making excuses. I could have gone to the computer to YouTube and found Leslie Sansone Walk At Home vids, but I was depressed, depressed, depressed.

Today the temperature went up to 50!!! Hooray!!! Not bitter biting cold! And I went out and had my first walk! I walked vigorously, and I could tell that I am really seriously out of shape after this winter. But I felt better.

Yes, exercise does help.

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Hello All,

I am new to the group, but not new to depression . I ride the evil wave for months and months at a time - I recently thought that it just wasn't going to stop - ever. And we all know how the thoughts go and where they go -
Thankfully, I am crawling back out of the hole- so I send big hugs to anyone on the bottom. Churchill called his depression " A black dog walking beside me". I get that image - it is like it is just there - ready to take over unannounced.

I agree, I don't think it is weird for wanting to go on meds at all. For me, I am terrified of them. My Mom is bipolar and on dialysis from all the years of lithium. I think I may be cyclothemic - bi polar light - with an emphasis on depression. The meds could send me darkly down or crazy up - so I try and live with the depression, but this last episode was the worst ever. If it starts again, I have to go the med route. I thought my wonderful husband wasn't going to make it out the other side of this with me.

Every day, I promised myself I would try and do one normal thing - like email a friend, or do the laundry , or watch a movie, I just kept adding to the list. All the while, the crazy thoughts just whirred around. Knitting helps too - it has been shown to lessen PTSD - maybe it is the counting? ( Not good for OCD though eh?)


I am hoping that exercise, eating right, gardening and taking probiotics helps. I have been reading a lot about a psychiatrist in New York who won't give her patients SSRIs anymore - but swears by Omegas and Probiotics - depression may be linked to our overly sterile society that kills all the good stuff in our bodies that help regulate hormones, etc...

Try meditation as well - it can't hurt!!

And, most importantly, hugs and hugs and hugs .



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3/9/15 8:16 P

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Hello All,

I am new to the group, but not new to depression . I ride the evil wave for months and months at a time - I recently thought that it just wasn't going to stop - ever. And we all know how the thoughts go and where they go -
Thankfully, I am crawling back out of the hole- so I send big hugs to anyone on the bottom. Churchill called his depression " A black dog walking beside me". I get that image - it is like it is just there - ready to take over unannounced.

I agree, I don't think it is weird for wanting to go on meds at all. For me, I am terrified of them. My Mom is bipolar and on dialysis from all the years of lithium. I think I may be cyclothemic - bi polar light - with an emphasis on depression. The meds could send me darkly down or crazy up - so I try and live with the depression, but this last episode was the worst ever. If it starts again, I have to go the med route. I thought my wonderful husband wasn't going to make it out the other side of this with me.

Every day, I promised myself I would try and do one normal thing - like email a friend, or do the laundry , or watch a movie, I just kept adding to the list. All the while, the crazy thoughts just whirred around. Knitting helps too - it has been shown to lessen PTSD - maybe it is the counting? ( Not good for OCD though eh?)


I am hoping that exercise, eating right, gardening and taking probiotics helps. I have been reading a lot about a psychiatrist in New York who won't give her patients SSRIs anymore - but swears by Omegas and Probiotics - depression may be linked to our overly sterile society that kills all the good stuff in our bodies that help regulate hormones, etc...

Try meditation as well - it can't hurt!!

And, most importantly, hugs and hugs and hugs .



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3/9/15 4:56 P

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No, it's not weird at all. You want help and medications can provide help for some people.

I'm scared all the time and it's a hard way to live. I have OCD and generalized anxiety disorder. I've tried lots of meds and am so sensitive to side effects that I can never get up to a high enough dosage to really help. I do take a very low dosage of an antidepressant and a tranquilizer, but I'm still under-treated. If could find a medication that I could take enough of to really help the crippling anxiety and depression, I'd be happy to take it for the rest of my life.

The only thing I can think of that might help you (it sometimes helps me) is to do something physical - even if it's just doing 20 jumping jacks in the bathroom or taking a brisk walk around the building where you work. Sometimes physical activity and/or getting outside in the fresh air and nature helps with anxiety. It's worth a try. Hang in there!

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Edited by: MILLERISHEALTHY at: 3/9/2015 (16:57)
"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
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"Comparison is the thief of joy."
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3/9/15 4:00 P

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I love being anxious for no reason. I'm at work, trying to do some deep breathing and it seem like it's making it worse. Maybe it's because its Monday? I'm caught up at work - so it can't be that, my husband is gone for another week for work, my kids are terrible 2 and 3 going on teenager

2 weeks till my appointment, just 2 weeks away, 2 weeks. is it weird that I'm excited to get back on meds?


Ok, I'm done venting!
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3/8/15 10:05 P

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Hey Pixie! That warmer weather sure helps! We aren't freezing today! And I agree. Usually I'm not looking for advice. I'm just venting. All I need is to be heard, really.

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3/8/15 9:59 P
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I get it, sometimes we just want to get it off our chest, and we really don't need any more advice. Have a lovely day ladies. I got my hair done today and I feel much better, but didn't get my swim in yesterday or today.:( . My arms are a bit sore from increasing the weights in my arm exercises last week. But I am going to keep going with it. The weather warmed up to 40 degrees two days in a row. Gives you hope that spring will show up again someday!

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3/8/15 9:08 P

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Reddmarie, I can identify. I find this generic advise useless. I've learned to speak up and tell the well-intentioned person that they aren't helping with this. Heard it before, doesn't work.

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3/8/15 9:06 P

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I can identify! Really tired, tired, tired. My daughter is tired of me whining that I'm tired!

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3/8/15 7:47 P

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Bad day today... No motivation, and I'm just soo tired, thanks to my son getting me up at 4:30 this morning. Hoping tomorrow will be a better day

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I read this post and I just love it. I can remember times when I would be in a dark spot..and I'd hear ppl give kind of this 'generic' advice..(not that it was bad)..but sometimes I needed someone to just tell me what to do! lol does that sound weird?? Some days it wasn't as bad...but you're so right about the little practical tips....setting a timer for LOTS of things has been this crazy lifesaving technique for me, in so many ways....ppl should try it just for kicks....The brain can be trained. I suffered a lot of depression after a bad car accident...I learned a LOT about our brains lol...Mine was scattered before the accident (adhd)..it became worse after. I went to a 'concussion program' for several months...amazing what I learned...it really helps to get 'tools' Thanks for sharing all your 'stuff'. It's a great reminder for me and am sure it helps others

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3/6/15 12:09 P

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You're right. Your God does love you:) I hope things get brighter for you. Im such a firm believer now...that I have to have actual, practical things that I 'do'...when the dark wall hits me...it's essential to my emotional/mental health. It trickles in to all areas. I've learned to 'go with the flow'...but I have to have tools in my arsenal...or it will stop me in my tracks...and that's not gonna work for me. It's possible to conquer it.....but also, just manage it in small increments...there are many ways...reaching out to talk to ppl is a GREAT start:) and a great tool. Sometimes just telling someone how you feel..helps!

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3/6/15 12:02 P

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Just reading the 'boards' today,,trying to get more involved:) ..up to date...and that sounds like great news Pixie! Anything with insurance, caregiving,,,,'applying for stuff'...can be such a nightmare...Im happy it has happened for you!! emoticon

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3/6/15 12:00 P

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Hi all...I've been reading back several posts. I'm just really 'feeling' it for you. I've struggled with depression over the years. I'm in a pretty good place now,,but I know the dark tunnel. I'm not sure what helps others...I know I had friends,,but one in particular who is my 'bestie'..and her and I would talk each other through it. We'd had counseling, meds..the whole nine yards...over time,,,we both began to see the value in 'the practical'. No lie..I used to look for comedy. Talking with my friend...cuz we laugh a lot...that's been my biggest 'tool' in life. It doesn't always work,,but it worked a lot!

I would love to support in some way. Talk here? Email. Check in daily,,,and commit to that with you all. I check these boards, daily,,and am getting better about it. It's not always about weight loss, is it? It can turn into this really circular thing...no beginning, no end...just like with the weight loss...I am finally doing One Day at a Time. Hokey...but there's wisdom in it.
Cheers to a decent weekend!! Feel free to 'friend' me! Or I will you!

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I got some awesome news this morning, my husband's long term care insurance was finally approved and they are cutting a check to reimburse us for Dec. Jan, and Feb. What a relief. I feel like a hundred pound weight is off my shoulders.

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3/5/15 10:37 P

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Hello, Miller...for me, the disempowering connection with depression is that being disempowered is a cause.

Of course I don't think it's simple. Some people may be depressed because of chemical imbalances, and an antidepressant pill might help.

For other people, depression - and perhaps chemical imbalances - come from bad living situations and from being treated badly and from being repeatedly invalidated and disempowered.

I took antidepressants for several years. Those pills only caused side effects and didn't do me any good. I went out of depression upon really seeing the disempowerment and rejecting it.

I'm depressed again because I am in a bad situation. My life right now is disempowered.

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3/4/15 8:46 P

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LAURANCE, that's a very apt description for depression. I've never heard anyone describe it that way, but it is so true - it's like becoming disempowered in some way.

I hope spring weather comes soon in your area so you can get a break from winter. I also hope you can soon find your Sweetie a place to go for care.
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"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
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"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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3/4/15 8:36 P

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Depression today. Too much tiresome winter weather, and more caregiving than I can manage. For me, depression is about being disempowered in some way.

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Thanks, PIXIEBURDS, it's good to know it's being researched. I hope someday they find some good treatments and even a cure. I appreciate your support and encouragement!
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"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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For MillerisHealthy, CFH is a real disease and doctors are finally starting to do real research on it to find the cause and hopefully someday a cure. I am a nurse and I just did some research on Chronic Fatigue Syndrome because a friend has it. It often takes years to get a diagnosis because the symptoms can mimic so many other things, and because the prevailing wisdom says it is all in their heads. But it is real. Don't give up hope for your daughter. emoticon

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3/4/15 7:42 P

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I'm so sorry about your son's struggles. It's good that you listened to your mothering instincts and were a strong advocate for him. It's heartbreaking when a child or young person has to suffer with an illness and it's made even worse when no one will listen.

My daughter and I did go to her doctor (well, we saw the PA) and they did lots of blood work. Everything came back normal except that her Vitamin D is still low (that's no surprise), and a couple of other things were a bit too low, but not alarmingly so.

I agree that sometimes doctors just don't listen. It started when my daughter was a baby and had gastro-intestinal problems. The doctors just seemed to think we were "hovering" parents and didn't take us seriously about the problems she was having - by the time they sent us to a specialist, everything was much worse than it should have been.

They also missed diagnosing her Ollier's Disease at first. The doctor told me the bump on her finger was probably because she chewed it a lot - I told him she never chewed that part of her finger, but he wouldn't listen. Finally, we went to an orthopedist and eventually they realized it was Ollier's. She's had numerous surgeries, but so far her case has been fairly mild. The benign tumors can become malignant, but so far they haven't and we're very grateful for that.

I do hope your son's cancer treatment goes just as well as it can and that he makes a full recovery. I also hope that they somehow figure out his diagnosis - I'm sure it's so hard not knowing the exact cause.

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"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
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"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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3/4/15 12:53 P

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I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Don't give up on finding a reason for your daughter's illness. I went for years not knowing what was wrong with my son. I still don't. They labeled him as a mystery, or undiagnosed Some people call it SWAN syndrome, which means they don't know what it is. As I sit here in the hospital with him today, I look back and remember when people treated us as if it was all in our heads. Believe me, it was not. My son has had several surgeries, and still no specific diagnosis. Now he has been diagnosed with cancer. It's good to be proactive. I was so stubborn that his cancer was caught very early. The doctor asked me how I ever figured out something was wrong. I just knew. No matter how many times they said nothing was wrong, I know my son. "They hear it all the time", she said, "Sometimes the doctors just don't listen." Amen to that! Just know, there are good doctors out there too. I'm with you on the whole trust thing though.

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3/4/15 3:39 A

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Hello team, finding it hard to be motivated as my recent situation has changed and I'm back to job searching again. I know there is a world out there but I seem to have stepped off and slipped back to negativity due to isolation. I've even stopped following my simple rules to get chores done. All this has happened since Monday. Actually, I felt a bit strange on Sunday, it's a sort of dismayed feeling that my feelings of anxiety and not really having anyone to rely on are still there and are waiting to stop me in my tracks. It's not even lack money, it's just me. XX

My God loves me, he shelters me from harm.


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3/2/15 8:00 P

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For everyone, actually...Hello, Miller...I was going to write privately, but then I got to thinking that there may well be other members of this Team who are depressed because they are stressed, burned-out caregivers. I figured that by telling you publicly I could also tell other Team members here as well.

I'm on the Team called "Caregivers Support". And I post on the forum called "2015.....Let's Chat". At this time there are only four of us who are active, but I have to say those other three women besides me are a lifeline.

I just wanted to let other depressed and exhausted caregivers know that this Team is there.

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3/2/15 4:48 P

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LAURANCE, thanks so much. I can tell you understand perfectly and it helps to know I'm not alone.
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"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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3/2/15 12:34 P

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Hello, Miller...it sounds like too much stress from caregiving and responsibility for others in ill health. I can identify.

I've had similar experiences with doctors. There have been times, quite a few times, when I was the one who had to figure everything out. I'm glad for the internet. Nice Dr. Google is always there to consult with me and help me figure out what's going on.

Don't apologize for negativity! Caregiving is a very demanding job. I told the doctor today that Caregiving is hazardous to health. He agreed and understood. You have a lot to take care of, first of all with your daughter, and now your mother-in-law who is in need. I'm glad we have these Teams where we can gripe.
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SO stressed out today. My daughter is sick again and I'm worried about her future. She was diagnosed a couple of years ago with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome - probably mostly because they couldn't figure out what was really wrong. She has so many things going on and I wish they could figure it out and really help her. She's supposed to finally graduate from college in a couple of months and I'm afraid she won't be able to find and keep a job with her physical and mental health the way it is.

Wish we had a doctor in the family - that way maybe they'd actually care. I don't trust doctors because we haven't had much help from them. Most of the help we've ever had is from ourselves and our own research. Generally, I don't think they have the time or inclination to really delve into looking for a diagnosis that isn't immediately obvious to them.

Also stressed about issues surround my MIL and how life is going to change now that my FIL has passed away and we have to take care of her. So many decisions, so many things to worry about. I used to have a strong faith and trust that everything would be alright. Somehow I've lost that.

Sorry this is so negative - just had to get some of this off my chest.

"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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3/2/15 8:17 A

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Welcome Grace! thanks for sharing - you are not alone

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Welcome Grace. What you are saying does make sense and we look forward to getting to know you as well. I have not been on the site for long, but everyone seems to be very supportive. I know that you will find others who not only understand but care about how you are feeling.

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Hello Everyone!

My name is Grace (Graciouswriting). This is my first time posting in this team.

However, I've just finished reading some of the post here and was very at ease about what I was reading. No one's afraid, here, to say how they, as people dealing with chronic depression really feel on the inside: how life just turns itself upside down when you think you've finally got it leveled out.

It is good to know that there really are other people who feel the same way. I find myself having good days and bad days due to depression. I was diagnosised with depression when I was in high school.

But now I have medical and health issues to deal with as well as just getting up in age. No matter how young we may feel on the inside the outside is still getting old. Regardless of what we do to keep ourselves looking young, the body the mind the eyes are all continuing to age.

So now I know where I can go to get something off my chest when I'm having a bad day. It's no body's fault that I have a bad day and so I am thankful for a place like this. Some place I can come and be understood, encouraged and inspired, but yet respected for my bad days too.

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense but I look forward to getting to you all here.

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2/28/15 7:57 A

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Yes, that's a good idea, and I've gotten it to work for me, too. I set a timer and then work work work till the bell rings.

Another thing I've done is put on a piece of lively upbeat music and work work work while the music is playing. I choose something that lasts some fifteen minutes or so.

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2/27/15 10:00 P

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I'm sad to hear that so many people on our Team are having tough times. It's hard to be prepared for life when it throws us curves. We all have to work at taking care of ourselves so that we can be the best we can be when others need our love and care.

Just a few things that I've used to "trick" myself into getting things done when i really don't want to do them: I set a kitchen timer for 5 min or 10 min. Once the timer starts and I'm doing the chore, I stop waiting for the ringer to go off. Sometimes I'm able to finish the task and do a little more, just like I do with short workouts.

When I'm particularly busy with everyday things and I know the dishes will be piling up, I have decided to use festive paper plates, cups and disposable utensils in nice colors so that I feel that I'm treating myself and then I throw them away. No dishes. i don't do it often because I am environmentally conscious and don't want to fill up landfills with my "junk." But, hey, sometimes we just need a break.

I have to surround myself with upbeat people that I don't want to have to discuss difficult times with. Just someone who is fun-loving and knows how to enjoy life. i learn a lot from friends like that.

Sometimes the smallest distraction pumps us up for the day. One of the nicest things that anybody ever did for me was when I was on medical leave from work. A dear friend of mine hired someone to clean my house. What a gift! it's exactly what I needed to start feeling more in charge of my life. I have since done that for another friend because I remembered how great I felt when it happened to me.

This is the Chinese Year of the Goat. 2015. It represents strength, stamina, endurance and sure-footedness. It reminds me of my lovely Team out there who has the strength to get thru anything life throws at us. This is the year to show our stuff. We are strong, we are wise and we are working this out together. Thanks everyone for continuing to show up on our Team pages and reaching out to eachother. We CAN do this!

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2/27/15 7:53 P

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I'm haven't been by this thread in a while. I'm sorry to read about everyone's struggles.

I had a really bad time last week, then things got a little better. Things are kind of hard again now, but that's probably the way it's going to be. My FIL passed away on Feb. 16th and my husband and I have to figure out where and how my MIL will live. She can't afford to stay where she is, but she is totally against moving. We're looking into elder housing where her rent would be based on her fixed income, but some of the waiting lists are two years long.

She has a long history of spending money she doesn't have, borrowing money in secret, and hiding bills to keep others from knowing how in debt she is. Her house was totally paid for at one time, but over the last 25 or so years, she's borrowed so much on it that now she owes more than it's worth.

My husband and I both have some health problems and I have chronic depression and severe OCD. My husband's job is very stressful and I just went through years of helping care for my own mother until she passed away last July. Now it feels like we're starting all over again with taking care of his mother. I was hoping we'd have a nice long break before we'd have to cope with extra stress.

I read a quote the other day that said, "We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds." I like that - it reminds me not to expect a smooth life, but to learn to live and thrive even in adversity. I hope I can learn to do that.

Hugs to everyone. Hoping things will get better for us all.
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"The present is what slips by us while we�re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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2/27/15 10:38 A

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Today is a bad day. I'm so tired and sensitive. I'm thinking I may have to cut out my Thursday nights with my BF. By the end of the week I'm so tired, I just can't get enough sleep Thursday night and I wake up exhausted on Friday. Which wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to come to my internship at 9am and work on paperwork and seeing clients. Then I get about 45 min at home before I have to be on my way out to my real job tonight. Going home and getting extra sleep on Thursdays would be the smart choice, but with how little time my BF and I have together as it is I just don't want to think about not seeing him.

Found out last night too that the kitten we foster at my internship will very likely be put down next week. No one take the time to take care of her or play with her, other then the Friday's when our receptionist brings her over here, and no one has stepped up to adopt her yet. She'd already be mine, except for the problem that she has feline lukemia and I already have 4 cats that I can't put at risk. It just makes me even more sad.

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2/20/15 7:46 P
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I am not the best about housekeeping either. But I find that if I do whatever while I am thinking about it I am more likely to finish. My big nemesis is putting away the laundry. I do ok getting it into the washer and dryer, but then I lollygag around and forget to fold it, or it never quite makes it back to the closet. I hope everyone has a good weekend. emoticon

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2/20/15 7:44 A

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Hello, I've been reading recent posts about trying to keep up with housework when depression strikes. There is a website called FLYLADY.com that encourages you to tackle chores a little at a time and to establish routines that help you to function better eg laying clothes out the night before and getting washed and dressed including shoes even if you are not going out anywhere. Hope this helps, Blessings. ps even if I'm feeling lethargic I try to follow the very basics and its enough to keep me from going under. XX

My God loves me, he shelters me from harm.


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2/19/15 3:31 P

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Hi CHROMEDRAGON20, I'm sorry to hear that. I get days where I'm pretty low like that too. Especially overwhelmed when it comes to the house work. I hate dishes!!! I've had to start taking things in little steps. Don't look at it as the whole kitchen - look at one counter. Or just load the glasses. Break everything thats overwhelming into small chunks. Maybe even just say I'm going to clean this for 10 mins, or 5 mins. Whatever works for you. This is the only way I can manage the cleaning that I do.

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2/18/15 4:26 P

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I guess actually I'm having a bad week/month. It's been bad for a while now. I hate this time of year. Cold, dreary, short days and I almost always get super depressed. I am on meds and really don't want to up them if I can keep from it. Truth be told my husband and I are thinking of starting a family and, if I get pregnant, I have to stop taking the meds I'm on anyway.

I am trying to stay busy but I hate doing housework and will usually procrastinate until there are literally no dishes left to eat off of. My husband helps but he gets the same way too. Oddly enough we both call it a "Funk" too.

Think is, when things start to fall behind or get messy I get even more down on myself. I call myself lazy and just get into a spiral of self hate. When that happens, it's really really hard to stop. Anyone have any good ways to deal with this? I'm looking for ways to keep up with my housework. Any tips/help is appreciated.

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2/17/15 9:17 P
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Laurance, I wish I could help you somehow. I know how depressing it is to care for someone with a mental illness. It can tear your life apart and when you have to institutionalize them, even though it's best for them and you, you have so much guilt.

I'm here if you ever need to talk.

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2/17/15 7:44 P

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Floradeb, I'm sorry to hear that your dear cat is gone. Losing a beloved cat is so hard. I've always loved my cats so much, and it means grieving so hard when they die.

We're in Pennsylvania, and thank goodness for Medicaid. If I had to pay for Sweetie's care, well, I couldn't. If I'd had to pay for him I'd be completely bankrupt. I'd have absolutely nothing. I don't know where I'd live. No income, no home. I don't know that I could sleep in doorways. And we don't have a good soup kitchen. This man has major health problems, and things are only getting worse and worse.

Floradeb, I hope you can get to teh Free Clinic tomorrow morning! How bad is the weather in your state? Here it's below freezing, and sometimes below zero. I hate having to go out, but it becomes necessary. I'll be so glad when spring arrives.

It doesn't help that I have an awful cold right now. Sneezing, runny nose, stuffy sinuses. But it's temporary. I have to remind myself.

And yes, I'm severely depressed. I hope that if I can get Sweetie into our local Nursing Home things will be better.

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