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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 7,764
5/19/15 5:31 P

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DISCOVERLLH, after reading your message, I said a prayer for you. I prayed that you will get the job you're waiting to hear about, or another that is a really good job for you. There is definitely age discrimination, but it is hard to prove. AARP's website may have a search box and if it does, you may be able to find an article they did a while back that lists the employers in the US who are open to hiring older workers. It's crazy in this day and age that people in their 50's are considered "older" - but the trend is definitely to hire young people who require less pay - even though they are sorely lacking in experience.

I hope some good news comes your way soon.

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DISCOVERLLH's Photo DISCOVERLLH Posts: 1,662
5/19/15 11:38 A

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Not very reassuring for me, unfortunately, since I am in my 50s! I have definitely noticed age discrimination. I don't know what field you are looking to move into, MEWING, but I am in teaching. The school districts are all hiring 21 year olds right out of college because they are cheaper and (presumably) more tech savvy. It is extremely frustrating! I was so desperate I even interviewed for an sales associate job at Macys. The first lady who interviewed me was in her 40s and loved me. The second lady was in her early-mid 20s, and I could tell as soon as she saw me that I wasn't going to get the job...an entry level, minimum wage sales job (and I have retail management background). MILLER - I do pray before my interviews, too. I have to admit, though, my faith has really taken a hit lately. I thought the interview went well, but it's been almost a week and I haven't heard anything back, so my gut is telling me I didn't get the job. I was worried when the superintendent who was interviewing me looked at my resume and said, "Oh, you have a Masters". That's the kiss of death, apparently. All the school districts see is that they have to pay me more money. Still trying to stay positive until I hear something definite, though.


I hope everyone is doing okay today. emoticon


"I'm not telling you it is going to be easy - I'm telling you it's going to be worth it" -- Art Williams


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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 7,764
5/19/15 11:13 A

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MEWING, I'm sorry you're not feeling well and I hope you're feel better before the field trip tomorrow. I can understand your trepidation about changing career paths at 40. The only bright spot I can see is that you're not trying to do it in your 50's or early 60's. I know that doesn't make it any easier for you, but it truly is harder the older you get and 40's are still in that sweet spot age-wise where employers will not consider you as old. I'm speaking from the experiences my husband and I have had as we've aged - we're both in our early 60's now. From our view, there is age discrimination, but not until the latter 50's and early 60's.

I'm sure you'll find your way. Just take it one day at a time and one step at a time and believe in your heart that you'll be okay.

Wishing you all the best,

Miller emoticon emoticon




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MEWING71's Photo MEWING71 SparkPoints: (6,167)
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5/19/15 6:56 A

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Only 8 days left of my current job and no idea what I'm doing next. In my 40s and changing career paths is scary. My self confidence level is no way where it needs to be. Oh yeah....field trip tomorrow and I am not physically feeling well today. :(

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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 7,764
5/12/15 6:07 P

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When I used to have interviews I would prepare as I was able to and then I'd tell myself I would do the best I could and that was all I could do. I would also pray about it, but I don't know if you pray or not so that may or may not help you. It would help me because I believed that if I was meant to get the job, then I would get it and if I wasn't meant to get it then it just wasn't the right job for me.

I wish you all the luck in the world. Just be yourself and let the chips fall where they may.
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DISCOVERLLH's Photo DISCOVERLLH Posts: 1,662
5/11/15 12:37 P

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PIXIEBURDS -- I love what you wrote! You have such a wonderful attitude and put everything in perspective. Thank you! My daughter was recently an inpatient in a mental health program for depression. One of the things that they told her and she shared with me is that depression is focusing on the past and anxiety is focusing on the future. When you think about it, it's really true! Right now I'm struggling with a tremendous amount of anxiety. I have a job interview on Wednesday. Last time I interviewed with this school district I was so panic-stricken I couldn't have remembered my name if they had asked me. Needless to say, I didn't get the job! I'm trying to build some self-confidence and prepare enough that it doesn't happen again, and I definitely am trying not to eat over it. I'd appreciate any suggestions. Thanks!


"I'm not telling you it is going to be easy - I'm telling you it's going to be worth it" -- Art Williams


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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 7,764
5/9/15 11:10 A

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Well said, PIXIEBURDS!! There's so much wisdom in what you've written - thanks for the inspiration!

Miller emoticon emoticon




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PIXIEBURDS's Photo PIXIEBURDS Posts: 335
5/9/15 10:04 A

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It helps to remember that we are not alone in our struggles. We all have self-doubts, and fears. We have all tried and failed probably many times with weight loss, or other situations in life. But remember, Every step you take today, is one you hadn't taken before. Every good choice you make is a positive step forward. And if there are days when you don't do as well as you had hoped you would, remember, yesterday is past, you cannot change the past. But today you can make even one positive step forward. Tomorrow, maybe you will take two. Life is a journey, and we don't get a choice to not be a part of it. We can choose how we move forward, but we cannot ever move back on the journey. I hope you all have a wonderful forward moving day today. And happy mother's day to all who are blessed with children.

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AGRACE1112's Photo AGRACE1112 SparkPoints: (2,528)
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5/8/15 8:14 P

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Aw, I am sorry Cyndie. I have been there many times with wondering, and I have dealt with chronic pain. It is not easy and like you said, losing weight helps the pain, but it is hard to lose weight without some level of physical activity which causes more pain at first. The good news is as you move around more and more your body will feel the negative effects less and less. I herniated discs in neck and back, but dunno about fibermyalgia, so I am not sure what would help aside from various dietary programs like the one I'm starting which avoid inflammatory foods and help the body repair itself.

Know that just being here, just wanting to do something about the situation your in is a true sign of strength and enduring character. I believe that nothing is impossible, and you have what it takes to push through these circumstances and come out stronger.

Stay beautiful.

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CYNDIESSTUFF's Photo CYNDIESSTUFF Posts: 32
5/8/15 2:05 P

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Thanks Discover, I know I need to be more positive. I just don't know how to get there. I'm 48 and the heaviest I have ever been. I have two buldging disks in my neck and fibermyalgia. I always feel better when I lose weight but now.... it hurts. emoticon

Be nice to yourself!


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DISCOVERLLH's Photo DISCOVERLLH Posts: 1,662
5/8/15 1:34 P

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CYNDIE...I totally get how you are feeling. I'm not in a great place today, either. I look at myself now (115 lbs overweight) and wonder how on earth I got here. I graduated from a top notch college but haven't been able to get a job with a livable wage. I was in a beauty pageant in high school and now am just disgusted when I look at myself. It's so hard when you are stuck in a depression to get back on track, isn't it? I believe, though, that if we keep coming back on SP and reaching out, it WILL help. I know it did for me before. Together we really are stronger. Just take it one day...one minute....at a time. Make a list of all the things in your life you are thankful for to take the focus off the negative. And know that you are not alone and that it is NOT hopeless. emoticon


"I'm not telling you it is going to be easy - I'm telling you it's going to be worth it" -- Art Williams


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CYNDIESSTUFF's Photo CYNDIESSTUFF Posts: 32
5/8/15 12:56 P

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driving to work this morning, i just started to cry. i feel like i am living someone elses life. how did i get here? i need to change my life but just don't know how. it really seems imposible. i am a good 50 lbs overweight and i am exhaused and in pain all the time. i never thought my life would turn out like this. i wanted so much more.

Edited by: CYNDIESSTUFF at: 5/8/2015 (12:56)
Be nice to yourself!


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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 7,764
5/2/15 11:09 P

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I'm glad it was helpful. Beth (INDYGIRL) inspires me, too.
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MANDYJENSEN's Photo MANDYJENSEN SparkPoints: (3,569)
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5/2/15 6:09 P

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Oh my gosh. Thank you so very much for mentioning INDYGIRL. I started reading her page and it really touched me in more ways than one. I am certainly going to make contact with her. My mom has gone down the same road as her with the weight and I am beyond worried about mine since I went up to over 200 since becoming disabled. I can not thank you enough for mentioning her. Thank you Miller. I think that is what I needed to keep me going.

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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 7,764
5/2/15 12:45 P

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Mandy, I'm sorry you're struggling. I wish I could help, but truthfully, I haven't lost any weight in a long time. There are lots of people who go through what you've described - they'll lose some weight and then gain a bit back and get discouraged - it's only natural and probably a normal part of the process of learning to live healthfully.

Since I can't give you any first-hand help, let me suggest that you read some blogs from folks like INDYGIRL, or go to the SparkPeople main Message Boards under the Community tab. There you will find a "Get Help Here" section where you can ask questions and also a "Results!!" section with a 'Panic Button' if you should want immediately help. There are also Success Stories under the Community tab and I'm sure lots of those folk will have addressed this issue in their personal stories.

The bottom line is probably that there will be times when your weight fluctuates in an upward direction, but remember the number on the scale is only one indicator of a healthier life. Put this weigh-in behind you and focus on what healthy choices you can make today. (now if I can only do that myself!!)

Hang in there and keep posting for encouragement and support.

Miller

PS - Here are some links to the main Message Boards, Success Stories, and INDYGIRL's Sparkpage. Hope this helps.

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/mycommun
it
y.asp


www.sparkpeople.com/community/succes
s_
stories.asp


www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp?ID=~I
ND
YGIRL





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5/2/15 1:27 A

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Not very happy right now. It is frustrating on my first week I lost 4 pounds (I get on the scale on Fridays). This week I gained a pound. I found out I have other health issues going on on top of everything else (slightly elevated cholesterol, low vitamin D, and connective tissue disease - not sure what yet till I go to the specialist as it can be a few different things, this on top of the daily debilitating migraines, aneurysms, bulging discs in my back and neck and a severe case of fibromyalgia as well as the worry of skin cancer returning). Maybe the stress from the added health issues added the weight who knows. I know there may be weeks without loss but I really wish there was not gain. I am tired of this weight I have gained over the last 13 years of being disabled (about 70 pounds). I try to lose the weight and I have an unsuccessful week or two and I give up because I get frustrated. I hope that I can get past this gain and stick with it. I need to get it off as it will help the health issues greatly. How do those of you, if any of you, deal with those gains here and there? How do you stick with it?

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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 7,764
4/28/15 8:03 P

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RESA1412, thanks very much for the wise words and encouragement. They really don't always grow up overnight... I remember my parents despairing because my brother dropped out of college and worked some not-very-good jobs for a long time. They thought he would never get it together, but he slowly did. He ended up being more successful with his career and finances than any of us.

I'm glad your son was able to find a job - I'm sure it will continue to boost his confidence and help him define his future goals.

I believe my daughter will find her way, too. I just have to trust that it will all work out with time.

Thanks again,

Miller emoticon




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RESA1412's Photo RESA1412 SparkPoints: (3,391)
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4/26/15 9:09 P

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Hi Miller-S, I had the same experience with my son, who graduated last May (2014). No internships, and not much of an idea about how to get a job. He moved back home and for a long time made only minimal efforts to find a job (applying for a few things online but too embarrassed to get out and network or ask for informational interviews). It took him quite a while to make the transition, but I am happy to say he is now working about 30 hours a week and paying his own bills. It's not a great job, but it's a start, and it's building some confidence that I know will lead him to something better later on. They don't always grow up overnight. Your daughter is smart, with excellent grades. Trust that she will figure it out in time (and it's ok to push her a bit, but ultimately it's her life).

Edited by: RESA1412 at: 4/26/2015 (21:09)
MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 7,764
4/26/15 6:53 P

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4/25/15 8:48 P

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It's nice to know we aren't alone. I've been having a rough couple days but there is light at the end of the tunnel. I excercised today, which I struggle to be motivated to do but I already had a good cry in the throne room (the bathroom) and spilled my guts to God so there wasn't much left to do. Going to see my counselor this week, looking forward to it. Praying for you all.

MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 7,764
4/23/15 6:50 P

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MEWING71, I'm glad to hear you got a confidence boost! hope you were able to get some sleep.


DOLLYBABE, I can't imagine still getting snow in April, but I live in the southern part of the US. It's hot here now, except for the evenings are a little on the cool side, and we have had a lot of rain. I can understand you not wanting to leave your kids and grand kids - maybe someday they'll all decide to move to a warmer climate.


Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Miller emoticon




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DOLLYBABE57's Photo DOLLYBABE57 Posts: 2,979
4/22/15 11:23 A

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emoticon it is hard to be upbeat when we keep getting snow ick I hate it. Hubby wants to move but I do not want to leave my kids and grands. Hope today is good for you all.

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MEWING71's Photo MEWING71 SparkPoints: (6,167)
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4/21/15 3:55 P

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Thanks MILLER-S. Today was better. Yesterday actually ended with me taking a chance professionally and while I do not know if it will pay off yet, I did walk away with a real confidence boost. Today I think I am still riding that wave a little. Now if I can just find time to get some sleep. That has been the hard part of today.

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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 7,764
4/21/15 10:48 A

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MEWING71, I'm sorry you were having a bad day yesterday and I hope today is better and brighter for you.
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Hello's to all - hope everyone's week is going well.
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LINDAM.1 SparkPoints: (51,827)
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4/20/15 10:48 P

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So nice to let our hair down. (nice old phrase)

MEWING71's Photo MEWING71 SparkPoints: (6,167)
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4/20/15 1:28 P

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I've been having a bad day. Not because anything particularly has happened, just because I have been walking through the day in a funk. I have felt on the verge of tears off and on (more on than off), but I must say that being able to share with each other on this team has helped a little bit today. I still wouldn't mind a good quiet place and a good cry, but I did get to smile a little for a while in the midst of it all. Thanks.

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4/20/15 1:19 P

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MLHAYES, I wish you the best for your wedding. It is such a special day and we all want ours to be perfect. I often tell the stories of my own wedding. It seems like everything that could have possibly gone wrong did. It was suppose to be a surprise. Keeping it a secret had been really tough, but we were doing good...until our newly acquired local newspaper published a list of recently acquired marriage licenses just day before the wedding. So much for the surprise. emoticon The day of the wedding the power went out. Apparently a massive transformer in the vicinity of the church had blown. The ladies helped me get ready in the dark. All individual pictures were taken outside. I prepared to walk down the isle with nothing but candlelight. Just before my ring bearer and flower girl entered to lead me into the sanctuary the lights came back on. emoticon It ended up being a beautiful wedding and terrific reception. And above all Memorable! We have a lot of fun reminiscing with friends and family. While I know there are things in hindsight that I would have liked to have been different, I know all in all it was perfect.....I was marrying my sweetheart and that is all that mattered. Your day will be perfect...and probably a lot less eventful than mine. emoticon

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DOLLYBABE57's Photo DOLLYBABE57 Posts: 2,979
4/20/15 12:17 P

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well Miller good to see you and ty for asking about me. My Mom is living with me off and on so my stress level is doubled I am have a bit of a time gitting through each day. Tc hope all is well with you

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PIXIEBURDS's Photo PIXIEBURDS Posts: 335
4/16/15 6:46 P

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Mlhays, don't despair about the weather. The day I. got married it rained buckets and I had to wear a plastic bag over my hair from the salon to the church. But then the sun came out and it was a glorious day. Everything will turn out on your wedding day. Congratulation!

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MLHAYES17's Photo MLHAYES17 SparkPoints: (77,599)
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4/15/15 2:43 A

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I had a hard day. I am getting ready for my wedding on the 24th and my nail person cancelled on me also they are forecasting rain for the day of my wedding which is suppose to be outside. Ugh

Treat every day as if it were your last.


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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 7,764
4/13/15 3:14 P

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Hey DOLLYBABE, it seems like this thread is a little quieter than it used to be. Some of the folks that used to post regularly here haven't been around much lately - come to think of it, I haven't been here as often as I used to be, either. In the "old days," I used to post here every day.

How are things going with you?

Miller emoticon




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DOLLYBABE57's Photo DOLLYBABE57 Posts: 2,979
4/13/15 11:41 A

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hey what happened to the posse?

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PIXIEBURDS's Photo PIXIEBURDS Posts: 335
4/12/15 3:00 P

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Questing, I am sorry for your loss. It does get easier with time, but there are just certain times that the loss just seems so overwhelming. Thoughts and prayers for you today.

Edited by: PIXIEBURDS at: 4/12/2015 (15:01)
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BOOTY2BIG's Photo BOOTY2BIG Posts: 40
4/12/15 2:53 P

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Pet loss is so hard and even more scary in the life of those dealing with depression as they are often our loneliness fix. My thoughts are with you and I wish you ease in life at this time. The sunshine will help if you can get out in it at least 20 minutes daily.

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4/12/15 2:47 P

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You're in my thoughts. Loss is so hard to get through -

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QWESTING's Photo QWESTING SparkPoints: (9,157)
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4/12/15 12:26 P

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Anniversary of my dad's death today. Unusually hard this yr. but tomorrow will, I hope, be better....

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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 7,764
4/9/15 11:07 A

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Thank you all for the support. I guess it went about as well as could be expected. My daughter decided to go in after all because she said she would regret it if she didn't. She was very upset, of course. It was very sad and it is still very sad. It's affected me much more than I thought it would. It's so hard to used to him not being here anymore. It's just going to take some time.

thanks again,

Miller




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REDDMARIE7's Photo REDDMARIE7 Posts: 174
4/9/15 10:10 A

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wow..thats sad. Take time to be sad. Not easy but necessary.

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4/8/15 2:35 P

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I'm so sorry about your cat! Even when you know you are making the right decision it doesn't make it any easier. Thank goodness you can help your daughter get through it, and we are all here to give you the strength to go on and heal your grief a little. It takes time! You haven't even had enough time to heal from your mom's situation, really. Go easy on yourself, and don't be afraid to ask for support when you need it. That is so important.
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"If it is to be, it's up to me!" (Not sure who said this)


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4/6/15 9:42 P

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Thank you, PINEAPPLERINGS. I appreciate your support very much.
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STILLSALLY's Photo STILLSALLY Posts: 191
4/6/15 8:13 P

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I am a catlover and I know how hard it is to loose one,. Please remember that you and your family are in my prayers and one day in heaven you will meet your beloved pet once more. If you need someone to talk to just drop me a line.

Happy Joyous and free because God and you. If you need a shoulder to lean on me, drop me a line.


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4/6/15 7:38 P

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PIXIEBURDS, thanks very much for your thoughtful reply. I really appreciate the support.
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4/6/15 6:23 P

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moller is healthy, I am sorry about your cat. It is so hard to make those decisions. Bit you know you did the best you could for your pet. Be well, and know our thoughts are with you.

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4/6/15 4:10 P

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My daughter and I made an appointment to have our cat, Tommy, put down tomorrow afternoon. I told her I would go in with him to have it done so she wouldn't have to, but I dread it. I'd like to tell my husband about it to get his support, but he has a job interview tomorrow at the same time as the appointment. I don't want him to worry and do poorly at the interview. Also, he made it clear over the weekend that he didn't want us to wait and make the decision at a time when it would coincide with the critical things he has going on this week and then call him crying and stuff. So I guess I'll tell him after it's done.

It shouldn't be that hard because my mother just passed away last July and we went through a Hospice situation with her. But somehow that doesn't seem to make it much easier. I think it's because I feel the whole weight of the decision is on me and it wasn't like that with my mother.

I wish people and animals didn't have to get old, sick and frail and die. But I guess that's the price we pay for living in the first place. Sorry this is such a sad and terrible post. I have to tell somebody.




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4/5/15 11:26 A

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Wishing everyone a very happy Easter. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson


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4/5/15 11:17 A

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Hugs to you BIKESANDROSES. The changes to your medication schedule sound hard. I hope things are better for you today. Hang in there.
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4/5/15 4:48 A

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just keep plughing away aynd do what you are suppose to do including resting

Happy Joyous and free because God and you. If you need a shoulder to lean on me, drop me a line.


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4/5/15 1:41 A

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All I did today was sleep and lay in bed. Saturdays are always rough for me. I'm taking Welbutrin for Depression and Xanax for Anxiety. I currently work night shift so when I get up at night all week long I take my meds about 10 pm. I do it then because the Welbutrin helps to keep me awake at work :P. On Thursdays my weekend begins so I shift to days to spend time with my family. Friday morning I take my meds about 7 am. But then on Saturdays I have to sleep during the day to be rested for work so I can't take my meds because they will keep me awake.

I know it's good that I slept today, but I just feel so unmotivated. By now I have taken my meds of course but the down/unmotivated/sad feeling is kind of hard to shake. I got up and drove to my husbands work and took him lunch and sat with him on his lunch for a half hour but I didn't really enjoy it at all. :( I never really get to spend time with him on night shift and I would have normally cherished that half hour but today I didn't even want to be there. I felt like it was an inconvenience for me and I just wanted to go home and sleep.

I hate having days like this.

One Day at a Time!


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4/3/15 4:24 P

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Hi Laurence. I Hope you have a better day today. Are you doing anything for Easter?

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4/3/15 1:03 P

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It's cloudy and gloomy today, and fits my mood perfectly. My BF and I are having our first fight, and I just feel miserable about it. We've never argued about money before, but he made me feel really taken advantage of the other night at dinner, and it's really brought to light how unimportant I feel to him. I'm tired of him asking me on my day off how work is going, or somehow forgetting that I work on a day I've always worked, at both jobs I've held since we've been together. It just makes me feel like he can't pay attention to anything about me, and I hate it. I hate being mad at him for things, and I hate fighting with people, and I just feel miserable about all of it. I don't know when we'll be able to talk, since I'm at work for at least another couple of hours now and he's out of town shopping with a friend. I just want it to be over.

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4/2/15 9:22 P

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Hello, Miller and Pixie...it's good to see you here. It helps to know other people are around.

Today I got to socialize, first with friends in the morning and then this evening at our social club. It's been a better day.

But I've been eating too much. Not good. I really need to lose this weight. But I don't know that I can drum up the energy to lose weight when I'm burned out on other things.

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4/2/15 6:22 P

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Hi Miller is healthy. I hope the cat is OK. Today we got the news my sweetheart will be discharged from the nursing home on Sat. That is such a relief. I went this afternoon to get some decorations for the bathroom. I painted it last weekend and now none of the decorations match the wall color. That is OK. I was pretty tired of them anyway.

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4/2/15 10:59 A

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I'm waiting to get blood work results from the vet - had to take our cat, Tommy, in yesterday. He was not eating at all and not drinking enough and was dehydrated. We know he has kidney disease and the doctor told us to prepare ourselves that the blood work may show it's progressed to the point where there's nothing they can do for him.

He's my daughter's last surviving pet and the one she's closest to. Even though she doesn't spend as much time with him as she did when she was younger (college, etc), she's very upset that we might have to put him down.

We're also still having problems with my MIL. I'm so weary of her lies about her finances and other things. I should be used to it after being with my husband for almost 39 yrs., but at times it hasn't directly affected us as much as it does now. Sometimes I feel like I can't take one more minute of it.

I wish I could find a medication that I could take that would really help the depression and OCD. I need some relief. I see my psy doc in a few weeks and I'll ask if there are any medications left for me to try. I'm weary of everything.








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4/2/15 10:45 A

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PIXIEBURDS, I hope all goes well with the evaluations, care conference, and doctor visit - and that he will be able to come home.
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4/2/15 12:59 A

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Laura, I hope this week will go better for you. Tomorrow I have to be at the nursing home at 7:30 so we can do a home eval with physical therapy at 8:00. My sweetheart will have to get in and out of the van, be able to walk a few steps to get into the stair lift. transfer back into his wheelchair at the top of the stairs. Transfer in and out of the bathroom, and from his wheelchair to the bed and back. I'm not even going to wake my mom up until we get back to the house. Anyway, after the PT eval. he has a care conference at 11:00. Then at 1:15 he finally gets to see the doctor. I am hopeful that he will be able to come home by the weekend, but I don't know for sure.

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3/31/15 3:54 P

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Laura, I know you're not asking for advice, but I just want to offer some empathy and understanding. I'm sorry you're feeling so low. I've forgotten therapy appointments before - I think everyone has - so it's okay. You're entitled to feel burned out - anyone would in your circumstances. Also, there will always be someone who has it worse than we do, but that doesn't diminish our pain, suffering, and struggles. (There are a lot of people who have it better than we do, too!) We're all entitled to our feelings. You were not put on the earth to simply serve others. Everyone deserves to have their needs met.

I'm a great one for punishing myself - I figuratively beat myself up with this same kind of thing all the time. But I can see clearly that you don't deserve to treat yourself like this - and on better days I even know it about myself. I also believe you're right that things will be better tomorrow. This is just one of those days that has to be survived. Wishing you a brighter tomorrow and kinder thoughts for yourself.

Miller emoticon emoticon

Edited by: MILLER-S at: 3/31/2015 (15:55)



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3/31/15 3:37 P

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I'm feeling pretty crummy right now. I missed my therapy appointment. If I were thinking normally I'd forgive myself and understand that people make a mistake from time to time. But I'm having a major problem with depression today. I'm really burned out and have no inner strength.

I forgot. That's all. I just totally forgot. It went totally out of my head. I just want to sit down and cry my head off. I know better than to be so hard on myself. If another person forgot something I would not want to punish them. But I punish myself.

I'm feeling extremely burned out. And I feel guilty for being burned out. Other people have a much harder time than I do. I have needs that are not being met, let alone even being identified. And I feel guilty for having needs. My mother always taught me that I'm here to meet the needs of others, not to have needs myself - I'm here to serve.

Prolonged depression is not a good thing. Some days are better, some days are worse, but to one extent or another I'm chronically depressed.

It would be nice if antidepressants worked for me, but they don't.

Today is a bad day. But I know from experience that days vary, and tomorrow will probably be better.

I'm not asking for advice. I'm just fussing and venting, that's all.

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3/29/15 1:03 P

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Thank u...things can't get any worse :( my kids keep me going.

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3/29/15 12:51 P

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Diane, I'm so sorry you're struggling. I know it's very hard when you're in the midst of problems and don't feel you have anything to look forward to. I've felt that way many times before. Usually, if I just hang in there, things get better with time - I know that doesn't make it much easier to get through each day, but it is something to hold onto. I hope you can at least find some little things to look forward to. Sometimes just reading a good book, watching a favorite TV show, listening to a good song, or just taking relaxing shower or bath can be simple but enjoyable pleasures. Sending you all my good wishes for better and brighter days ahead.

Miller emoticon emoticon emoticon




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3/29/15 5:28 A

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I feel I'm in a deep funk and I hav e nothing to look forward to :(

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3/27/15 11:55 A

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I think "Part Eighteen" is the number of times the "Help, I'm Having a Bad Day" Topic has been re-started. I think I remember someone saying that when there gets to be a certain number of posts on this thread that they have to start it over again - because if they don't, then people who have a slower internet connection have a hard time accessing it.

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Edited by: MILLER-S at: 3/27/2015 (11:56)



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3/27/15 11:38 A

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I hope your day improves!! Mines is going better than it started out. My back hurts (first time doing exercise in a while). I'm still planning on a 30 minute walk though.

What is "Part EIGHTEEN"?

March 23 2015 to September 30 2015


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3/26/15 3:13 P

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Hi FITPUNKETTE

I have tried acupuncture and it actually increase my anxiety (because I don't like needles)

I do try and get massages often so I guess I go the more acupressure route :)

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3/26/15 3:05 P

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I hope your day ends on a better note!!! Injuries can be a hard thing to deal with, especially if they interfere with your fitness goals. I'm hoping the meds help you. Have you ever tried acupuncture? My mom has bad arthritis and joint pain and it's really helped her a lot.
Best of luck.

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3/26/15 10:16 A

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Hi all...

not the best of days so far (it's only 7 am where I'm at). I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and I'm having what they call a "flare". Essentially my knee is so swollen and tender and painful. It's even getting to the point where it hurts to walk.

I did go to the Dr. on Tuesday and I did get meds (woohoo) now starting with 1/2 a pill to get back into the swing of things.

Fingers crossed that the rest of my day turns out better!

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3/26/15 8:52 A

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I, too, had a couple of bad days. The weather is wet and dark here. But I have a lot to do today, so I better start doing it.
Hugs, everyone.
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3/25/15 5:35 P

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Hellos to everyone and hugs to all who need one.
emoticon emoticon

I've had a couple of very bad days, but am trying to be positive - or at least pretend to be.

Miller emoticon





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3/25/15 5:25 P

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PIXIEBURDS, Congratulations on the weight loss!! That's great!!
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(I would love to get below 180 again!!!)










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3/24/15 12:15 A

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Some plusses and some minuses today. I stepped on the scale and it was finally below 180. Only by two tenths of a pound, but it was there! Yay! But I didn't get to see my husband today. Mom was late getting up and I needed to make sure she took her meds. This evening I had to buy some groceries and then take care of mom, so I didn't get to see him this evening either. Well, tomorrow I go in to work an hour early for a meeting. So I will get off an hour early and will go see him then.

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3/23/15 6:21 P

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I burnt dried kale, carrot, celery Stock, parsley, in my revere ware pot .anti depressants not working. got the runs, also. Not my day must clean the fridge.

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3/19/15 10:13 A

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PIXIEBURDS-LOL And sending you lots of hugs.
I had two bad days with allergy and sinus pressure but I feel better today. Going to exercise now and then walk with a friend. Trying to keep anxiety under control.
Hugs to everyone here.

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3/18/15 11:24 P

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Today at the nursing home my husband told the therapist that" his mouth was so dry that a spider ran across his tongue and kicked up dust" I thought I would share that just to put a smile on your faces. His is doing a little better now that his ankle is stabilized in a boot. And they are working on building his upper body strength back up. But he gets very confused at night, and it really bothers him. They couldn't get him in for his ortho. appointment until April 2nd. The ER doctor said he should be seen in a week. I sure hope this stay in the nursing home is a short one. Since he wasn't hospitalized first Medicare won't pay for his stay in the nursing home. Just when it looked like we were going to crawl out from the burden of the homecare expense, now I will have to pay for his room and board at the nursing home. Oh yes, and I have to pay in for taxes too. Yippee.

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3/17/15 10:37 A

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Going to watch a St Patrick's Day parade later on. Wishing you all a happy day.

My God loves me, he shelters me from harm.


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3/17/15 10:15 A

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This is such a friendly team - it sounds like lots of us are appreciating the changing of the seasons. I went out for a walk last night for the first time in ages - only 10 mins but worth it - it lifted my mood. Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! emoticon

The happiest people in the world are not those that have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything they have.

Live simply...
Love generously...
Care deeply...
Speak kindly.



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3/17/15 12:20 A

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PIXIEBURDS, I'm glad to hear your job situation worked out well. I'm sorry to hear about the broken ankle and nursing home worsening the dementia, though. My mother's dementia got worse when she had to go to the rehabilitation/nursing center, too. Others told us it was normal for that to happen, but it was still hard to witness it.

I hope tomorrow will be a less hectic day for you.

Miller emoticon emoticon




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3/16/15 11:59 P

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It has been so beautiful and warm the past few days. Today we hit 76 degrees. I went to see my sweetheart at the nursing home this morning. He got terribly confused during the night and didn't know where he was. I expected that. He has Alzheimer's and being placed in the nursing home for his broken ankle is bound to make the dementia worse. Fortunately, my supervisor at work was very supportive, and she completed my probationary evaluation. so I am officially off probation and can claim PTO for coming in late today because I had to go to the nursing home to fill out his admission paperwork. It has been a hectic day. But this evening is pretty quiet with me and my mom.

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3/16/15 12:17 P

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Me too! Can't wait for some light gardening emoticon

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3/16/15 10:54 A

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It's been a long cold winter and especially difficult for SAD sufferers. So glad that spring is almost officially here!!
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I'm trying to crawl out of my SAD shell. I have been extremely unsociable all winter long, in real world and online alike. So I'm just saying hello and hugs to everyone here.

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3/14/15 11:37 A

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Oh, what a lovely time! So happy you were able to go to the seaside together on a bright and beautiful day. My favorite place on earth is at the sea - we call it the beach here - and I'd love to live there someday, but it's very expensive and probably won't happen. I hope your interviews go well next week and that you get a good job. I'm certain you'll be able to do it well, so no worries there! I'll be thinking of you as you have your first Mother's Day without your mum. It'll be the same for me in May when we celebrate here in the States. It is a comfort that we can remember our mothers are free from anxiety, worry, and pain. Hugs and blessings to you. Take care.

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3/14/15 9:07 A

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Took another day out yesterday and went to the seaside with my daughter and our young dog. It was a beautiful sunny day and far too bright to stay at home doing chores (or not, lol). It felt a bit like running away and we all enjoyed ourselves very much. This week has been so enjoyable and it came from me letting go of the purse strings a little and spending some rainy/sunny day money. Tomorrow is Mother's Day and my first without my Mother. This week has been a bit of a celebration and I do feel blessed to have spent a lot of it with C. I'll remember Mum tomorrow and be glad that she has passed away from worry and anxiety. She worried an awful lot in her final years and thought she would be homeless for some reason.
I have two interviews for work next week, It's in care work and I enjoy it. I pray that I get a job and that I can do it well.
Money might become a lot tighter once I start full time work with no subsidies and I feel nervous. Still, we have never been homeless or without food. God is good and I believe he will provide us with what he wants us to have and we are so lucky and privileged every day.

Have a good Saturday team, I'm going in to town to drop my daughter off and to have a look round. We're going to try to live on items out of the freezer and storecupboard this week as they are overflowing and need to be used up. (Make up for spending the budget on gallivanting all week, lol).

Blessings. XX

Edited by: NEEDTOBESLIM3 at: 3/14/2015 (09:09)
My God loves me, he shelters me from harm.


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3/12/15 5:15 P

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PERESEVERANCE55, thanks so much for sharing your experiences with me. It has helped me a lot and has given me hope. Also helped me remember how worried my parents were about my brother and it turned out that he's been more successful than any of us. We really can't tell how someone's life is going to turn out just by looking at the early adult years and that's a relief!! Thanks again!!

PIXIEBURDS, thanks for explaining "tight" job market. I'm 60 yrs. old and have only now realized that I've said it backwards all these years. I don't know if it's a regional thing, or what, but around here when people say the job market is tight, they mean that jobs are very scarce. But you're absolutely right - a tight market means there are more openings than applicants. One reason I am scared is because my daughter says the word around campus is that it is very very hard to find work. Maybe it's just a rumor - I hope so.

SKIMMYMAU, I'll hold onto that - that she'll get where she's going in her own time. I surely hope that's the case and I believe it is. I just don't feel like I have that much time left and even though she's an adult, she doesn't act like one. She'd be the first to say that. She's very much a home-body and is much more mature and responsible in some ways than her peers, but she's been too sheltered and isn't worldly or street-smart. I just want her to get a life of her own before I die. I guess I should stop worrying 'cause it occurred to me today that if I do die, she'll learn how to "get a life" real fast - she'll have to.



Thanks again to you all. I'm grateful for all your support.

Miller emoticon emoticon

Edited by: MILLER-S at: 3/12/2015 (18:06)



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3/12/15 9:25 A

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of course you want her to do the best she can cos you are her mum. But - she is an adult now and has to be supported to make choices, even if you know they are mistakes. This is how we learn, by trying it different ways until we get it right. She may be a bit more roundabout in her way of doing things but with your continued love and support she'll get where she's goiing in her own way and in her own time but eventually.

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3/11/15 11:09 P

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Millerishealthy, I wouldn't worry too much about your daughter. The job market is kind of tight right now, meaning there are more openings than there are applicants. Even if she doesn't find the right fit right away, it is all experience and in the end she will probably be fine.

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3/11/15 10:59 P

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I have four kids - the last one still in university and I hope, about to go on a work term. The first one was gifted, but dropped out of high school - I thought he would never leave the basement, he now is a web page designer and quite successful, the second shaved her head bald , and got a giant tattoo of a pn unknown object - she is now married with two kids and a buyer for a large retail chain, the third went to communtity college , works as a supervisor at the same college. Each one of them had us worried sick about their futures - but we can never live their lives can we? It is hard for kids now - but we can't clear the path for them, and some of them balk when you eve point out their might be a path. At one point , I would have been thrilled if my oldest just went outside let alone gain employ,ment. I am not sure Mom worry ends, but I am not sure Mom worry helps either.

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3/11/15 8:24 P

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I didn't have a bad day. In fact, as days go, it was pretty good. But I am very worried about my daughter's future. It seems most college students do an internship the summer before their senior year. My daughter didn't do one and now she's due to graduate college in about six weeks and has no job prospects.

She's spent her whole entire life just studying and making straight A's (no social life at all and doesn't really want one) so she could get a good job, but I know it would have been better if she had just made C's and got some work experience. I told her this over and over but she wouldn't listen - or the OCD she inherited from me wouldn't let her change. She did do an internship at her college after her freshman year, but that was five yrs. ago. (She missed two separate semesters of college due to being sick).

I feel I should have "made" her do an internship last summer, but my mother was declining mentally and physically (she died in July) and my sisters were making my life a living hell concerning decisions about my mother and between all that and my own depression, anxiety and OCD, I just couldn't do anything extra. I was at the end of my rope. I was also worried that if my daughter worked all summer she would get sick again and have to miss yet another semester of college and delay graduation even more.

I want her to graduate, get a job, and get a life so that I can stop worrying so much. With her challenges and mine, things have always been hard. I love her more than anything, but being a parent has been the hardest thing I've ever done.

Thanks for letting me vent here. I don't have anyone to talk to. I have a husband, but he doesn't listen.






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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 7,764
3/11/15 8:11 P

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Hi Dee, your day yesterday sounds just lovely. I can understand your feeling anxious at times, but it's good that you're trying to be positive. Looking at this job hunting time as a break is a smart idea - pretty soon you'll probably be working all the time and wishing you had some time off. I'm glad you're enjoying being out and about.

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3/11/15 8:01 P

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Hello team, very mixed weather here, yesterday was glorious. I spent a couple of hours in the park, did a bit of walking, reading and chatting to folk. It was really uplifting. Chloe and I went to the cinema last night. We saw "The boy next door". Some very jumpy moments at times. Good fun. It was nice to get out and about. However today is very wet and miserable. I had a lie in this morning and I'm going to meet one of my church friends for a catch up over lunch. I might as well treat this job hunting time as a break as well instead of getting depressed and moping around. Still feeling anxious at times and doubts about my life but I'm trying to be positive about what I can and have done rather than over dwelling on chances I may have missed. I have no money worries today as everything is up to date, so I am so very thankful for that, there even was enough to have my hair cut and styled last week!!

Thinking and praying for you all to have a blessed day. XX



My God loves me, he shelters me from harm.


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