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2/11/16 8:55 P

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OMNICAM - Some days (on the weekend) I give myself credit for just getting up. If you made it to work, I'd call that a huge success that required a lot of effort. Give yourself credit for every little thing you do. Then you can look back on the day and see that you made progress. emoticon

ONICAM's Photo ONICAM Posts: 11,626
2/10/16 6:59 P

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I went from not wanting food, are normally and had water, then I am back to binging again.

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C2SUSAN Posts: 1,137
2/10/16 6:43 P

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I agree Miller.. I say fake it till you make it some days.. I set little goals to get me through some days or even some hours...

MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 10,030
2/10/16 8:45 A

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ONICAM, I'm sorry you're having a hard day. I hope you're able to consume something to eat and drink (even a little) and then once you get to work, you may find that just getting out and about will lift your mood. Sometimes just getting out into the sunshine helps me feel better. Other times doing something constructive (even if it's just a small chore) also helps. Hugs to you.
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"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."
- Golda Meir

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not."
- Anonymous


My name is Miller :)


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ONICAM's Photo ONICAM Posts: 11,626
2/10/16 8:22 A

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I woke up not wanting to do things at all. I have to go to work, but I rather be in bed all day. My body didn't want any food at all or water. Even though I did stuff I am not able to cheer up on my own right now. I do not know what to do to help myself.

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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 10,030
2/8/16 6:40 P

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Ouch, I'm sorry to hear about the pain. Hopefully, they gave you some medicine for it or maybe you can take Tylenol or Advil? When you feel better, you can delete the food you put into the tracker, even if you're past that day.

I hope you feel better soon. Rest well and take care.
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"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."
- Golda Meir

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not."
- Anonymous


My name is Miller :)


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2/8/16 6:28 P

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I'm having a bad day. I had a tooth pulled today. Not hungry. Not enough energy to exercise. Pushing the water. Couldn't eat the food I had already put in the tracker. In pain. Going back to bed to sleep it off. Hope I feel better tomorrow. emoticon

FOXBAY99 SparkPoints: (19,930)
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2/7/16 9:34 P

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Becky - I find it helpful if I have something to look forward to. It might be something as simple as having a sunny day or talking to a friend. I feel very good if I have helped someone. Maybe there is a new project you would like to start. There are a lot of people here who can give you support. emoticon

MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 10,030
2/7/16 2:47 P

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Great, Becky!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."
- Golda Meir

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not."
- Anonymous


My name is Miller :)


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C2SUSAN Posts: 1,137
2/7/16 10:16 A

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Woo Hoo!! Go Becky!! Stay focused on the positives... I see you can recognize your good and bad aspects!!! aby steps!!! and maybe soon you will look back and realize you did move a mountain!!

RUN2RIDE's Photo RUN2RIDE Posts: 1,203
2/7/16 9:13 A

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Hi all - someone below said "I don't have to move mountains, I just have to move..." Thank you!!!

I'm feeling so overwhelmed these days - I don't like being alone so my evenings after work have turned into either being at church or at the local pub. Quite the combination, eh? But there are people there.... The past 7 years have been tough -- and I'm overwhelmed cuz I don't even know who I am anymore. Which is why this was so encouraging: "I don't have to move mountains, I just have to move". And someone said, pick just three little tasks...

In that spirit, I'm going to dry my tears, get off the couch and go move: brush my teeth, pit the dog out, and clear the countertop where mail accumulates. Three things. Then it will be time to get ready for church.

Thanks for listening.. Becky

My ticker represents 12 years of learning and losing and regaining and regrouping - I'm NOT going back! I *AM* and *WILL BE* fit 4 life!!


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JBSTARAZ's Photo JBSTARAZ Posts: 78
2/1/16 9:36 A

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C2 - I can't always either. I am working on the stop and think and take deep breaths. The task idea helps when I need to just keep my hands busy or try to distract myself. Still working on all this though!

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1/31/16 6:35 P

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ONICAM - Sometimes when things get too overwhelming for me I picture a beautiful scene (like a waterfall) or think about something fun I have done in the past - just to take my mind off of my problems. I need to escape from my problems, mentally..After some time I come back to reality and try to figure out something positive I can do to help myself. Just moving around or reaching out to others helps. I remind myself that this is not the end of the world. If I can think of something positive I can get myself back on track. emoticon

C2SUSAN Posts: 1,137
1/31/16 6:15 P

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JB.. I like the task idea but sometimes I can't stop and DO something, but I can stop and think,, I'm going to try the task when try is feasible...

JBSTARAZ's Photo JBSTARAZ Posts: 78
1/31/16 4:18 P

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ONICAM It sounds stressful, I hope you can break it into manageable chunks and plan rewards for each chunk complete, like a walk in a park you've not been to or a fun magazine or time to read a book.

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JBSTARAZ's Photo JBSTARAZ Posts: 78
1/31/16 4:15 P

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Great tip about 3 things! I also like to do a task, try to change my perspective or activity a little, a fun task that I like and that is active. emoticon
I didn't have the greatest week, turning that around on this beautiful day!

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C2SUSAN Posts: 1,137
1/30/16 6:17 P

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ONICAM I call that fake it till you make it.. some days I have to force myself to keep going forward and struggle with that daily. I wish I had the formula or secret ingredient to do it, but I do try to look for the silver linings in my dark cloud too.. when I am negative to myself, I try to come up with 3 positive things right then and there... and it doesn't have to be big things.. try it... good luck!!

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1/30/16 4:01 P

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emoticon Sean

cheers from Sharyn,
Co-leader of 50 Plus For ALL team

Co-leader of Sparkies Down Under

May you all find your perfect comfort zone in all you do

}}eat less; move more{{
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/stay-on-
track-calendar.asp

sparkpeople.com/myspark/planner.asp


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ONICAM's Photo ONICAM Posts: 11,626
1/30/16 10:01 A

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I am definitely towards depression. I didn't sleep well and had to make myself eat and drink. I have been getting ready for some stuff that are stressing me out. I don't know what to do to get more positive even though I want to.

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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 10,030
1/27/16 12:46 P

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Wise words, SEANLOTZ. Staying in the here and now is always a good thing for our mental and physical health. Thanks for the reminder.
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"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."
- Golda Meir

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not."
- Anonymous


My name is Miller :)


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SEANLOTZ's Photo SEANLOTZ SparkPoints: (10,472)
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1/27/16 10:54 A

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I used to think it was just a bad thing that I couldn't simply take a walk and use up all the stupid extra calories I just ate in my desert binge. But then I realized that the other side to that is that this whole thing doesn't work by "making up for" anything in the past. There is only this very moment. That is all there is. What I just ate yesterday or ten minutes ago is over and done with--well, except for it makes me fatter. The only thing that is real is what am I going to do right now? What activity am I going to do; what food am I going to eat right now? Every moment you are starting from scratch with what you have.

So I stopped worrying quite so much about the stupid thing I did and began thinking a bit more about what I am doing this very second. It is a helpful change of attitude.

Administrator: "Spark Mason County Washington" team


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JBSTARAZ's Photo JBSTARAZ Posts: 78
1/27/16 10:01 A

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FOXBAY99 - thank you, I hope to get back on track today. Thank you for responding.

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JBSTARAZ's Photo JBSTARAZ Posts: 78
1/27/16 10:00 A

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Miller-S - Thanks for the encouragement! Hope to get back on track today!

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C2SUSAN Posts: 1,137
1/26/16 7:42 P

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I agree with the. a bad day does not make a bad life.. its all a learning experience...

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1/26/16 7:28 P

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JBSTARAZ - We are all human. We all backslide sometimes. The important point is to get back on track. GOOD LUCK! emoticon

MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 10,030
1/26/16 12:11 P

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JBSTARAZ, we've all had those times so please don't beat yourself up about it. Taking a walk with a friend is a great idea. Hang in there!!
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"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."
- Golda Meir

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not."
- Anonymous


My name is Miller :)


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JBSTARAZ's Photo JBSTARAZ Posts: 78
1/25/16 9:43 A

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Had a late night binge last night while watching Downton Abbey, with wine. Really bad habit I need to break. Feeling bad about self because of it! I have a walk scheduled with a friend today after work. It will not burn all the calories I consumed last night of course. Ugh, I hate derailing! Thanks for listening.

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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 10,030
1/19/16 6:28 P

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Thank you, C2SUSAN, I appreciate that very much.
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"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."
- Golda Meir

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not."
- Anonymous


My name is Miller :)


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C2SUSAN Posts: 1,137
1/19/16 6:16 P

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Miller I wish I had more words t help you but I will pray for you and your daughter...

MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 10,030
1/19/16 2:46 P

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I am so low. My daughter says she is only living for me and for her dad. She's so depressed that she doesn't enjoy anything anymore. She says she should end it all. I've brought her to doctors for 15 years and she's tried so many medicines. I've prayed until I almost can't pray anymore and nothing has helped. I feel so lost and alone.

"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."
- Golda Meir

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not."
- Anonymous


My name is Miller :)


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1/7/16 9:11 P

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Your dive is over now. Can you put that in the past and make a new start? I know it's hard when you live with and see someone eat the things you like and are trying not to eat. I went with friends to an all-you-can-eat pizza place. I prepared myself my self by eating something healthy before I went so I wasn't very hungry and had only two pieces of pizza. Over the Holidays I went to parties and watched people eat all kinds of things, with a lot of carbs, that I love. I managed to gain only 2 pounds over the Holidays. I didn't get upset about that - I just started working on getting those 2 pounds off. I have good days and sometimes a bad day. Don't let a bad day scare you. When I leave the house I always have a bag of peanuts (1.65 oz) in my pocket. I eat that if I get hungry. Winston Churchill said: "Never, Never, Never give up." emoticon "

Edited by: FOXBAY99 at: 1/7/2016 (21:39)
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1/4/16 11:24 P

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Oh my, I felt like I was hammered to the ground today. While in my therapy session, there seem to be quite a number of reasons why I took a dive today, however knowing that does not take away the dive. I really went crazy this afternoon, because I also decided that what was going on was sugar withdrawal from the holidays, good excuse to have some of the peanut mms. It is hard when you live with someone else and they have things that are tempting around.

Each moment can be a new beginning!


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HIMELISSA2007's Photo HIMELISSA2007 Posts: 829
1/3/16 6:15 P

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Yes I am a strong person. I have been through alot but have become a better person as a result. I'm feeling a little more positive now. I appreciate your response. Nothing like having someone acknowledge my stress and help me feel better. I will get through this and tomorrow is another day. And some days I feel better than others. Thank you again.

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.� ~Theodore Roosevelt www.fitnessforweightloss.com/helpful
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1/3/16 4:08 P

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You sound like a strong person.Pay no attention to the trouble makers! Wouldn't you rather be happy not worrying what other people think? Although this doesn't solve all my problems it did cheer me up. Nothing like a few moments outdoors to help clear the mind. emoticon

Edited by: MEDRIDDEN at: 1/3/2016 (16:13)
HIMELISSA2007's Photo HIMELISSA2007 Posts: 829
1/3/16 3:09 P

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Feeling blue today. One of those days where I feel my neighbors don't like me. Usually this feeling passes. I am one of the sweet ones and my neighbors are gossipers about my financial situation. My son lives here with me now and isn't supposed to be here. He is a little rough around the edges so I think that they don't like him. Really though some days I just don't care but today I'm anxious. I think going for a walk might help. Plus my ex husband's parents are here visiting my kids which our relationship with them hasn't been too good. So, even though its a bit overcast and there are sprinkles, I might go for a walk anyway. I resisted the urge to emotionally eat. The candy was calling to me but I ate a nutritious balanced meal anyway. I think I will rest the remainder of the day after walking and read something.

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.� ~Theodore Roosevelt www.fitnessforweightloss.com/helpful
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12/27/15 9:25 P

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Christmas Day is over but the Spirit of Christmas lasts all year long. I live in an apartment building for seniors and the disabled (over50). Many people here had no friends or family to be with on Christmas. I found that reaching out to them, and others like them, made my Christmas complete. I have love in my heart and am thankful for the many blessings I have received. Pass the Spirit of Christmas on and it will come back to you.



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12/27/15 9:09 P

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I do the same thing in public. I put on the smile and try to look upbeat cutting jokes and looking the life of the party. Most of the time my stomach is in knots and I am feeling so tired both mentally and physically. It's so much work I avoid things. Going out less. I lost touch with my girlfriends. I wish there was a magic pill to make this pain go away.

MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 10,030
12/25/15 2:29 P

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Hugs to all who need one today.
emoticon emoticon

I've been missing my extended family (parents and siblings) and the Christmas Eve's and Christmas Day's we used to have. Been trying to remember that things change and time marches on and that I'm fortunate to have ever had those special Christmases to begin with - so many good memories. Last night, my daughter was in her room and my husband was at his mother's for several hours and I was alone. I passed the time by watching one of my favorite Christmas movies (A Christmas Carol - with George C. Scott as Scrooge) and I enjoyed that. Today, I'm doing a bit of cooking and watching Christmas movies.

Hope everyone enjoys the day.

Miller emoticon emoticon emoticon


"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."
- Golda Meir

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not."
- Anonymous


My name is Miller :)


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MAYIE53's Photo MAYIE53 SparkPoints: (86,995)
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12/25/15 1:34 P

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I am alone today and trying to turn this day into something positive and uplifting. Grateful that I am not the only one posting on Spark People on this day. I wish all you sparkers peace and good will.

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12/25/15 10:08 A

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Holidays are tuff this year in St. Louis and I guess I would rather go back in time to family gatherings
Spending the last 3 days with son hubby and friend
Going back to OHIO tomorrow and my dog funny I would rather be home with our dog hubby even though we would be alone

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12/23/15 3:57 P

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Fitfuture4me, I hope your weeks improve gradually into only bad days. I have been in your position in the past and I know how grueling those weeks can be. emoticon emoticon

Lord, I have cried unto Thee, hearken unto me; attend to the voice of my supplication when I cry unto Thee. Let my prayer be set fourth as incense before Thee, the lifting up of my hands as an evening sacrifice. Psalm 50 [51]: 1-2


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FITFUTUR4ME's Photo FITFUTUR4ME Posts: 40
12/22/15 8:55 P

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I haven't been well for the last two months. The last two week, I have done little. I rest a lot, but I think that I have been overdoing the resting. I seem to let good eating habits fall by the wayside when I am so seditary. A good friend reminded why I am in sparks. It helps to cope with any illness you have if you take good care of yourself. I started to track again today, and I even did a short video exercise after work. I see now that it is vital to reach out to people when I get like this. Phoning someone or connecting on line is such a help to get back up and moving in the right direction. I don't have to move mountains, I just have to move. I don't have bad days, I seem to have bad weeks. If I keep connected, I cope much better. Your reaching out is such a positive step. emoticon

Persistance not perfection


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12/22/15 3:20 P

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Tracy, like what Miller said. I go overboard some days too, but I get up and start over fresh the next day. Forget yesterday and what you did and live in the present. emoticon

Lord, I have cried unto Thee, hearken unto me; attend to the voice of my supplication when I cry unto Thee. Let my prayer be set fourth as incense before Thee, the lifting up of my hands as an evening sacrifice. Psalm 50 [51]: 1-2


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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 10,030
12/22/15 9:49 A

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TRACY, Hang in there. Most everyone on SparkPeople has times like these - they're just bumps in the road. I like the quote that says you haven't failed until you quit trying. Each day is a new start - even each meal can be a fresh start. Hugs!!


"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."
- Golda Meir

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not."
- Anonymous


My name is Miller :)


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TRACY6659's Photo TRACY6659 SparkPoints: (32,807)
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12/21/15 11:37 P

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I have over eaten several days in a row. I feel like a stuffed cow. Hormonal cycle triggered it. Felt ravenous at first, then quickly realized I was eating when I wasn't even hungry. Makes me feel horrible...I failed. I'm hoping to have a fresh start tomorrow. I have come too far to just let go

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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 10,030
12/17/15 6:08 P

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Sounds like you're doing some really wonderful positive things for others and for yourself. That's so good to hear. I'm a brooder and have a tendency to think I can't change things, so I really admire you for going out and doing things that create positive changes.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Edited by: MILLER-S at: 12/17/2015 (18:09)
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."
- Golda Meir

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not."
- Anonymous


My name is Miller :)


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12/17/15 4:19 P

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Thank you to everyone for your ideas, suggestions, and concerns. I am generally doing better at fighting the holiday blues. I have been focusing on exercise (which really does make me feel and sleep a lot better), and I just started a volunteer job reading to children in doctor's offices. I've only done it once so far, but I feel better just getting out there and being with people. Since I live far from my friends, I make it a point to go to church once during the week as well as on Sundays so that I can be spiritually nourished and socialize. I am also taking a class to help improve my teaching skills so that I can get a job for next year, and it's really thought-provoking. So I'm doing better. Thank you, everyone.

Lord, I have cried unto Thee, hearken unto me; attend to the voice of my supplication when I cry unto Thee. Let my prayer be set fourth as incense before Thee, the lifting up of my hands as an evening sacrifice. Psalm 50 [51]: 1-2


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PEPPADEW's Photo PEPPADEW Posts: 127
12/17/15 3:18 A

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Edited by: PEPPADEW at: 12/17/2015 (03:58)
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12/16/15 8:30 A

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Do you have any hobbies, i.e. crafts or reading? Many craft stores and bookstores have programs where people with similar interests can get together and socialize. Also your local public library (I work at one) will have free or very low cost programs on all sorts of topics. Lots of people go to these programs without knowing anyone there and make a friend or two with the other patrons or the librarians. Hang in there! Once you get in the "stuck in the house" mode it's hard to find the energy to break out. I've been there....

MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 10,030
12/15/15 11:42 P

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Thank, you, DUCKTURNIP, you've been very helpful. I appreciate your support and encouragement. My daughter is meeting every week with someone in the career placement office at the college. She also met with one of her past professors today to get advice. She may try to seek part-time employment or a volunteer job while she's looking for full-time work. I hope she'll be able to get a job in her field someday, but if not, I suppose any job is better than none. I'll try to remain hopeful for her sake.

I'm sorry you're having unemployment problems and I hope you find a new job as soon as possible.

Thanks again,

Miller

"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."
- Golda Meir

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not."
- Anonymous


My name is Miller :)


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12/15/15 8:05 P

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Miller-- the job outlook for all is hard- no matter your grades, work experience, and how many classes you took each semester. Getting a job in this day and age is hard. I have run through several long stretches of unemployment (and currently am in one), but I keep plugging on. I keep applying for job after job after job. I had 15 job interviews for this school year (I'm a teacher), but I didn't get a job. I have been depressed from this, but I keep on plugging on because I know that one day I will get a job. Right now, I am subbing and taking classes and workshops to improve my teaching skills. It keeps me busy and builds up my resume. Since there aren't really any jobs to apply for right now, I am just biding my time until April, when teaching jobs get posted. It's hard, but it's what I have to do.

Having depression and other mental illnesses makes job hunting doubly hard, but it's a rough job market for everyone. Encourage your daughter to use the career services and her college for help, and to keep on applying. She will get a job. It may take a long time, but she will get one. You must have faith that she will, and she must also believe that.

I hope this has been helpful. Job hunting in general is kind of a depressing topic. But I hope it helps.

Lord, I have cried unto Thee, hearken unto me; attend to the voice of my supplication when I cry unto Thee. Let my prayer be set fourth as incense before Thee, the lifting up of my hands as an evening sacrifice. Psalm 50 [51]: 1-2


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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 10,030
12/14/15 12:46 P

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I'm having a rotten day. I try hard to encourage others on SparkPeople when I can, but today I need encouragement.

My daughter keeps getting turned down for jobs she applies for and she is devastated and in floods of tears. She graduated with highest honors with a major in biology, a minor in chemistry and a minor in web development, but she has very little work experience. One company seemed very interested (even after the phone interview) but once they received her transcript, they lost interest. Even though she made straight A's, there were also two semesters when she had to drop out because she was sick and she only took 12 to 13 credit hours each semester (which looks bad when other students take up to 16 and they hold down jobs at the same time. They can't fault her for her grades, but I guess her lack of experience, semesters out, and low course load are red flags to them.

And the very hardest part is that she can't tell potential employers that she has disabilities like OCD and depression. The way I see it is that she is basically crippled mentally and if she were crippled physically, then employers would look at her and say, "what a heroic girl - just look at what she's accomplished in spite of all her challenges." As it is, potential employers don't know she has any challenges at all, so it just looks like she's lazy.

Can anybody give me any hope at all? Does she ever have a shot at a career? Should she just go ahead and apply for disability and live at the poverty level for the rest of her life? She's worked so hard and spent so much to get that degree and it means absolutely nothing.

My heart is broken because she has no social life and I thought at least she'd have a career. Now I'm afraid she'll continue to be all alone and have nothing at all. No hope, no prospects.

Miller

"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."
- Golda Meir

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not."
- Anonymous


My name is Miller :)


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12/14/15 12:42 P

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Ah, the holidays -- it's a tough time of year for a lot of people! Fa la la la bah humbug! I'm struggling this year, too. So I'm doing little things that seem to help like, saying hi and smiling at people in the store or the cashier who looks stressed out; I try to find others who are struggling more than I am and help in some small way -- cookies, a cup of coffee. Try to reach out to others. You don't have to be super perky or happy. Quiet smiles that are authentic work well, too.
What do other people do to help counter the blues this time of year?

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12/11/15 1:41 P

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I'm sorry to hear of your struggle. I've been there myself. I work from home so there's a lot of isolation, but I try as much as I can to get out for coffee or to meet colleagues. I don't know about you, but depression tends to make me more isolated and resistant to going out in the world and doing things. I just don't have the energy. Is there anyone in your family that could join you for coffee or go Christmas shopping? Two makes it better than one. If money's an issue, do you enjoy any crafts or cooking projects you could make as presents? I'm doing a lot of that this year.

Stay strong and, above all, stay connected!

MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 10,030
12/7/15 4:09 P

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DUCKTURNIP, I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with the blues. So many people are sad at this time of year. The ache of loneliness seems to come into sharper focus during the holidays.

My mother passed away in July 2014 so this will be my second Christmas without her. I was ready to let her go, as she was in bad health physically and mentally, but it's difficult to get into the Christmas spirit knowing that get-together's with extended family are over. Things aren't the same at all.

I hope that time with family and friends will be good for you and that somehow you won't feel like an outsider this year. I'm certain that you're special to each of them and they want you to feel warmly welcomed and fully included. You're special in your own right - whether you're in a relationship or not. Hugs to you and best wishes for a blessed Christmas.

Miller emoticon emoticon emoticon

"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."
- Golda Meir

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not."
- Anonymous


My name is Miller :)


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12/7/15 2:19 P

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I'm really struggling with the holiday blues this year. I have had this problem since my mom died 11 years ago, but I thought I had overcome it because it has gotten to be less and less of a problem over the past couple of years. Last year, I was fine, partly because I was so busy that I had no time to be depressed! This year is different, though. I'm unemployed, so I'm struggling to find ways to keep myself busy and focused. Also, I am the only single person in my family and all my friends. Everyone else is married or in a relationship, and it hurts so much more to be alone at the holidays. Sure, I always get plenty of invites for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but it's so hard to have to go alone. I always feel like an outsider. It's really acute this year. I'm trying to focus on the positive things in my life, but I'm struggling to be grateful. Thank you for listening to my vent.

Lord, I have cried unto Thee, hearken unto me; attend to the voice of my supplication when I cry unto Thee. Let my prayer be set fourth as incense before Thee, the lifting up of my hands as an evening sacrifice. Psalm 50 [51]: 1-2


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