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JCH628's Photo JCH628 SparkPoints: (1,268)
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8/19/14 1:42 P

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Thanking God today for vast improvements. The depression I have struggled with most of my life has decreased, The times when a depressive episode does show up, the severity is less and it doesn't last as long. Truly putting God first and allowing him to direct and heal has made all the difference. I haven't been on medication for over three years.

LAURANCE SparkPoints: (137,561)
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8/17/14 7:03 A

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Hello, Salam...I wish I had something useful to offer. My ex was stupendously abusive and manipulative, and while there was intermittent violence, it was minor. No injuries, nothing really painful.

People would offer advice, but really, there was nothing I could do. I did go to the sheriff's office on several occasions, but I knew that without witnesses there was nothing they could or would do. What I was doing was just reporting, but not asking for action.

And then election time came around, and the sheriff was up for re-election. It turned out - we read it in the newspaper - that the sheriff himself was guilty of wife-beating.

And even so he was re-elected! Which tells me that to many people it simply wasn't important.

I was in a battered women's support group, and one woman said there was no sense in her going to the cops. Her abuser was a cop himself, and they stick together. One lies and the other swears to it, she said.

The only thing that was useful at all was to be able to talk with other women who were going through the same thing, and to know that I wasn't crazy or making it all up.

Edited by: LAURANCE at: 8/17/2014 (07:05)
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ARMATTHAEI's Photo ARMATTHAEI Posts: 1,805
8/16/14 9:40 P

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SALAM4545,

Sending you a hug. I really don't know what to say, but please continue to post, it is not only important for your health but that of your children. Continue to be the best mother you can and when you need help from friends or neighbors to help with the girls just ask them.

I want to wish you the best. The whole SP team is here to cheer you on through this difficult time.

Blessings,
Amanda, RN

Team Leader of Night Shift Nurses
Team Leader of Nurses Everywhere


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8/16/14 9:16 P

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I want to reply, even though I have nothing useful to offer.

All I can say is that I was there. I know what it is to be abused but unable to do anything effective about it.

All I can say is that I hear you and I validate you.

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SALAM4545's Photo SALAM4545 SparkPoints: (7,049)
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8/16/14 9:11 P

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Okay, I am reaching out because until I can get to the dr. to renew my prescription I have got to white knuckle things, and life has been sucker-punching me lately.

My ex was a narcissistic abuser. He recently went through a bad spell, enough that I had to get a restraining order. He has continuously tried to intimidate me. Although he is in supervised visitation with the girls, he has managed to use the kids to send messages to me, and charmed the supervisor into thinking that since English is not his first language, he misunderstood the rules.

With every incident I have called the police. But there are no witnesses besides my kids, and it is his word against mine. The D.A. is having a hard time building a case because there is always some excuse for why he did something. The cops really want to arrest him, every time there is an incident they tell "Don't worry, we are going to get him."

I tell myself not to worry, because he has never yet been directly physically violent (he likes to throw stuff, but he doesn't hit). But I DO worry, because he is manipulative, and I believe he will use my history of depression against me.

One thing I have figured out over the last few weeks...I can't let my depression stop me from posting, or I will be turning away from help when I need it most.

P.S. Perimenopause is NOT helping with this process! Perimenopause just sucks!

Edited by: SALAM4545 at: 8/16/2014 (21:15)
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8/14/14 9:12 P

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I haven't been posting here lately because I've been busy on the Caregivers Support team. I have to say that constant caregiving can sure be depressing.

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PIXIEBURDS's Photo PIXIEBURDS Posts: 28
8/7/14 7:18 P

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For BeachGal84,, so glad you are having a better day today. We are here for you.

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8/5/14 1:48 P

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Ah, it was very cathartic to get everything out yesterday. I'm not a 10 by any means but at least I don't feel like a weepy mess today. Thank you so much PNPEARCE for reading, responding but not belittling what I feel or think. Makes a world of difference just to have someone listen and not pass judgment, wow not sure about that spell check could have sworn it had an e in it. Here's to better and better days.

Laurie
I will make it and I'll accept help.

"If someone doesn't want you for who YOU ARE, there are plenty of others that will love you for you." DONT FORCE YOURSELF ON SOMEONE who truly doesn't want to be with you. YOU ARE ENOUGH! YOU ARE ENOUGH! YOU ARE ENOUGH! Envision what you want your life to be like and chase after that...but don't change who you are for anyone but yourself!



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8/5/14 7:22 A

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You are welcome. I hope things are better. Best wishes to you.

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8/4/14 5:53 P

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thank you. I have a list like yours too and a lot of its the same. One reason I started reading Spark People is I was looking for people who understood what I was going thru. Giving myself slack is a work in progress and many moons ago I was told you've probably been this way since you were a child, gee thanks. Back when I was a child, depression as a medical condition didn't really exist, it was pull up your boot straps and get over yourself. I tried and I tried and I tried until I started thinking of hurting myself and the only thing that stopped me was I did not want my husband to come home to it. I would / couldn't do that to him, he deserved better. I had been to counseling but I had never taken the step to actually go on meds. Wow, it was like night and day. Unfortunately meds destroy things too and sometimes you wonder if the give and take are worth it, and then you have a week or month like recently and you go yes the meds are worth it, but I still struggle. Thanks again for replying.

Laurie
I will make it and I'll accept help.

"If someone doesn't want you for who YOU ARE, there are plenty of others that will love you for you." DONT FORCE YOURSELF ON SOMEONE who truly doesn't want to be with you. YOU ARE ENOUGH! YOU ARE ENOUGH! YOU ARE ENOUGH! Envision what you want your life to be like and chase after that...but don't change who you are for anyone but yourself!



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8/4/14 4:06 P

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You definately didn't bring me down! I am sorry you are having a tough day. I've had days like that too - sometimes weeks or months. Working closely with your doctor is key - we have a chronic condition (being sad for no reason) - and that means we have to stay in touch the MD, be honest and speak up even if it feels like it won't seem to matter. It does!

Everyone has a different experience of Depression, and while I don't know what it is like for you, I've kept a list in my head for a long time of Reasons Why I Don't Feel Better:

1. I was made this way. Don't know why, but I was. So I gotta give myself a little slack.
2. Dieting is harder when I am depressed. In fact, its impossible. Work on the sadness first, then go after the weight goals.
3. Am I Taking care of myself, really? Am I practicing healthy habits? Am I drinking too much? Am I getting the right kind of nutrition? Spending too much time inside the house?
4. The Vortex of Guilt is something I can beat! It is just another reflection of my illness. It is NOT a reflection of me, my character or what other people think about me.
5. Am I taking my meds right? Jeez, that's easy to screw up. Especially when my body decides to change how it absorbs chemicals without warning.
6. Sometimes I do everything right and still feel terrible. It sucks, but I know I'm not alone in this.

Just one more thing - you're sense of humor shines through in your post. Give yourself some credit and thanks for posting!

BEACHGAL84's Photo BEACHGAL84 SparkPoints: (2,613)
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8/4/14 3:23 P

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Was reading thru the posts and went well I just found my group. Last 2 to 3 days, just awful.
All I want to do is cry and for nothing. I eat real food not some dehydrated diet yuck and gain 3 lbs. great, that is what I wanted. take my measurements, they go up, great, just the direction I wanted. I see a pill doctor, lets subscribe more that will work. I'm taking 5 anti-depressants, I don't think they are working. My life is good, my husband loves me, why the hell can't I be happy. I don't have any problems, I have a nice house, I have a job, why isn't it enough? Why am I crying while I write this? I'd even do electrical shock, I've become desperate. I have no friends close, 1 in Oregon, a sister in Frostproof, FL but they both have good lives why do I want to bring them down. My husband tries but he doesn't understand. He's seen when its been bad, it scares him. I've started exercising, hoping for the natural high, haven't found it yet. Get so sore I can't move without grimacing. I'm starting to lose my memories, good and bad, short and long term. And I know it and that just makes it harder. and it is even better when my husband says but I just told you don't you remember? I want to say to him stop saying why don't you remember, it ain't helping. Assume I don't remember and just tell me again. I've got to stop for now, maybe tomorrow will be better. Sorry if I brought you down, this is why I don't share.

Laurie
I will make it and I'll accept help.

"If someone doesn't want you for who YOU ARE, there are plenty of others that will love you for you." DONT FORCE YOURSELF ON SOMEONE who truly doesn't want to be with you. YOU ARE ENOUGH! YOU ARE ENOUGH! YOU ARE ENOUGH! Envision what you want your life to be like and chase after that...but don't change who you are for anyone but yourself!



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GIMMESPARK's Photo GIMMESPARK Posts: 100
8/2/14 6:39 A

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I hope what I posted didn't sound like I thought you should just fake it, get up and walk. It's hard to tell if what you type has the same message in the reader's brain as it did when you typed it, you know?

If you don't have anyone you can talk to, maybe keeping a journal could help? I've had times in my life when I couldn't see a therapist or anyone for financial or other reasons and keeping a diary was maybe the only way I kept going. When you feel like you have to be in control on the outside all the time (e.g., can't start bawling at work or driving the kids somewhere), having a safe place to get it all out was really helpful to me.

You also always have the folks here to "talk" to. If you go through people's spark pages, you see how many people have physical, financial, etc. issues they're struggling with. It's not a question of whose got the hardest circumstances; it's "we're all on this journey together."

I know it's hard not to be able to exercise. If all you can do is feel the sun on your face and breathe deeply for now, do that. Also, check with your pain management doctor about if there's anything over the counter that you can take to help you sleep. It's definitely harder to feel better--physically or emotionally--without sleep. Just getting some sleep would give you a step forward.

Please take care of yourself however you can and know that people really do care.

MANDIV27 SparkPoints: (865)
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8/1/14 11:15 P

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I fake it on a daily basis. I'm on meds- that usually keep me pretty even keeled- and I really don't have anyone to talk to about things. I can barely afford the meds so therapy is out. I don't want to burden my family. I really don't think my meds are working too well these days. I just had sinus surgery so I'm on steroids and pain pills. I've got back issues too so the pain management Dr has me taking cortisone shots every 3 weeks or so and I just feel like crap in general. I want to be healthy and live a normal life. I can't exercise, I can't sleep. My life just seems like such a cluster !@*#! Two steps forward ten steps back. My options always seem to be the lesser of the two evils. There's this feeling of the never ending cycle of bad days and circumstances. My whole life has been this way. Getting up and walking just isn't enough anymore. I need to see improvement and change that stays put, not disappears ten fold. Thanks for listening to me whine and caring to reply. I really am trying and I really do appreciate your input. Thank You.

PIXIEBURDS's Photo PIXIEBURDS Posts: 28
7/31/14 9:30 P

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Sometimes the depression is situational. I have been on medications for several years now. I raised a disabled child by myself, and now my husband has signs of dementia and is in a wheelchair. My mother lives with me and has dementia and has had several mini-strokes and two bigger strokes. I can't change my situation, but I know that with medication I can cope. Coming to a site like this can help with days that just seem so hopeless. For me it hits me at unexpected times. I know I am in trouble when I cry over commercials or songs at church put me in tears. Most days I do well, but there are times when you need to reach out to others who can understand where you are coming from.

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ARMATTHAEI's Photo ARMATTHAEI Posts: 1,805
7/31/14 9:17 P

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MANDIV27, Sorry to hear that you have been having such a bad time. I hope that you will be able to find healing & comfort among us. Some on this page do sound vert happy, but v that just means that there is hope.

I also would encourage you to talk to a counseler or doctor. Therapy and or medications have made it possible for some of us to live near normal lives.

I only want the best for you. Hugs of comfort and understanding.

Blessings,
Amanda, RN

Team Leader of Night Shift Nurses
Team Leader of Nurses Everywhere


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ARMATTHAEI's Photo ARMATTHAEI Posts: 1,805
7/31/14 9:15 P

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MANDIV27, Sorry to hear that you have been having such a bad time. I hope that you will be able to find healing & comfort among us. Some on this page do sound vert happy, but v that just means that there is hope.

I also would encourage you to talk to a counseler or doctor. Therapy and or medications have made it possible for some of us to live near normal lives.

I only want the best for you. Hugs of comfort and understanding.

Blessings,
Amanda, RN

Team Leader of Night Shift Nurses
Team Leader of Nurses Everywhere


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GIMMESPARK's Photo GIMMESPARK Posts: 100
7/31/14 8:38 P

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MANDIV27, you are not alone. I can't speak for everyone on this forum, but I've had more than one day like that this week--even blogged last weekend about how dealing with depression is the number 1 team in "Other Medical Conditions," which means crying all day is a sadly popular condition on SparkPeople.

Do you have anyone to talk to? Have you seen a doctor or therapist?

I wish I knew what to type here to help you feel better. I'm just faking it 'til I make it... Making myself move and keep breathing, doing what I can to get through each day. I can tell you that if I can get up the energy to get walking, it seems to help.

Please know that people care.

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7/31/14 8:21 P

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Maybe I haven't read far enough down, but y'all seem too happy to be "having a bad day". I have been crying all day. Can't seem to stop.


CHEWYSMOMMA's Photo CHEWYSMOMMA SparkPoints: (2,248)
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7/29/14 6:49 P

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Good answers thanks..


New at this chatting with peeps I don't kno...It's Monday and after 2 weeks i'm still eating healthy and measuring food..that's a great accomplishment for me.


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PIXIEBURDS's Photo PIXIEBURDS Posts: 28
7/28/14 9:02 P

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To ArtisticJen, Sounds like you are going through a really rough period. Health concerns can be so frustrating. Please know that you are not alone. Try to make some positive steps for yourself so you can have some control in your life. Even making a choice to drink water instead of a soda this time is control. Good luck to you.

Edited by: PIXIEBURDS at: 7/28/2014 (21:07)
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GIMMESPARK's Photo GIMMESPARK Posts: 100
7/27/14 11:25 A

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The days of the coffee clatch may be gone, but we can gather here and support one another.

I think "back in the day" we also had the "mother's little helper" that the Rolling Stones sang about. Sometimes I wonder if I'd do better emotionally with whatever they prescribed back then, or if I'd just be a zombie?

Of course, zombies are really popular these days, along with the vampires ;)

Anyway, just wanted anyone in pain to know you're not alone. I've been applying the humor and fake-it-til-you-make-it approach to the point of exhaustion. Hope tomorrow will be a better day, somehow, for you all.

SWEETPEA1399's Photo SWEETPEA1399 SparkPoints: (6,050)
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7/26/14 2:55 P

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Exactly!! Some people look like they have it all together but they really don't and that is sad. I at times look at people and think I would love to live in their shoes for a day, but in reality, my life isn't so bad at all.

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FATCRISMATIC's Photo FATCRISMATIC SparkPoints: (3,922)
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7/26/14 12:36 P

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When I read the past few comments, it made me think of the reality shows of the various cities. Like Orange County, New Jersey, Atlanta. All these women have money and act like high school drama. On one show a wife and husband are in trouble with the law for fraud on taxes, loans, and a few other issues. It's oh this poor family! Yet the house has not been sold with its gold chairs and other over priced items, not counting the wardrobe. I believe family should stick together, but this couple put themselves in this mess by not being honest. Unfortunately the victims turns out to be the three children. But the aunts and uncles are stepping up to the plate. But the poor me drives me nuts! Jail time along with selling off or the IRS confiscating there stuff including the mercedes is justifiable.
Would like to be a fly on the wall when the cameras are not taping. MMMMMMMMMMM-I would have alot to talk about at a coffee clutch. LOL

I guess my depression isn't as bad as I thought. I have gone through my solitude, now it's time to get back to life. emoticon

Building my bucket list and enjoying the ones I've accomplished!!! I quit smoking and have visited 34 out of 50 states. But I want to see the grand canyon.


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SWEETPEA1399's Photo SWEETPEA1399 SparkPoints: (6,050)
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7/25/14 9:16 A

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Made my day as well!!!

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LIVE150YRS SparkPoints: (4,717)
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7/18/14 8:51 A

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This is our coffee clatch. My mother belonged to a card club, met once a month, all women on the block. Oh the things they said.

My mom also had coffee with her best friend down the street almost every night, Always at our house, cause my mom was a widow, so Aunt Marian liked to get out of the house and chat. My mother worked during the day.

Thanks for bringing up the coffee clatch --- makes my day

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FATCRISMATIC's Photo FATCRISMATIC SparkPoints: (3,922)
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7/18/14 2:33 A

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Ladies,
I just read a lort of the posts. Ya know what we need which is not a medical doctor of the mental issues. The old fashioned coffee clutches of the 50's. Talking to one another in the old neighborhood about our families. The mental doctors came about in the 80's when the good old neighborhoods did not exist. Neighborhoods stopped existing. So what kind of local clubs can we create to vent about husbands, lovers, boyfriends, family, children and local neighbors. Really Think about it. The past is not always nostolgiac, but perhaps a necesity of this day.
Silly me, in the past with the old coffee clutches.
Chris

Building my bucket list and enjoying the ones I've accomplished!!! I quit smoking and have visited 34 out of 50 states. But I want to see the grand canyon.


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FATCRISMATIC's Photo FATCRISMATIC SparkPoints: (3,922)
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7/18/14 2:20 A

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OMG!
Are you people angels waiting for me to relate to you? Or are you all heaven sent?

I checked out of SparkPeople because of a computer problem. At the same time I was having a time in my life that was very disturbing. I thougnt I had a handle on it all but two issues bombarded me. Wooo as mi! Boo! Hoo! I can handle this. I'm 62 Yrs. Young. Oh! I can do this.

Not true. I did have computer problem for 5+ days. But I hid. I do want to face reality and what my youngest is bestowing on me. Did I really work my life or living my life to bring me to this? So different from my mother and she was a good mother yet so different and the same. Wow! reality hurts.

I will continue to move forward, but I have to say it hurts and I worked so hard for things to be differently only to learn that with all my efforts nothing changed.

I thank all of you for reading this and yes in my personal life I will move forward but I carry with this effort much shame.
Hugs,
Chris

Building my bucket list and enjoying the ones I've accomplished!!! I quit smoking and have visited 34 out of 50 states. But I want to see the grand canyon.


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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 5,963
7/17/14 3:43 P

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I'm sorry things are so difficult for you. I know from personal experience that everything is harder when you can't sleep. It might be a good idea to check in with your doctor to see if he (or she) can do something to help you through this particularly stressful time.

One thing that might help is to not try to make too many changes regarding your diet and exercise all at once. Baby steps is the what SparkPeople recommends. That might mean just drinking more water each day. Or replacing one unhealthy snack with a fruit or veggie. As far as exercise, just try doing something for 10 minutes a day - walking or marching in place or dancing to some music. Or you could just try to get more rest during this time of high stress.

Sometimes when I'm feeling overwhelmed, it helps to remind myself that I only have to take things one at a time and I only have to face one day at a time, or even one hour at a time, or even one minute at a time.

Everything will work out and things will get better. Just hang in there until they do and please consider contacting your medical doctor or psychiatrist (if you have one) to get help in the meantime.

emoticon emoticon



"The present is what slips by us while we’re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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INUYASHA44's Photo INUYASHA44 SparkPoints: (3,635)
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7/17/14 2:18 A

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I've been up for the past 48 hrs. I am so depressed I can't sleep. I am so stressed about life, school, trying for SSI and dieting with exercising. How am I going to get through.

God bless and have a great day.


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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 5,963
7/16/14 7:11 P

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FROMNSIDE, I was recently told I have PTSD issues, too, and I'm seeing a counselor who specializes in it. It was a surprise to me. I don't have flashbacks, but I am hyper-vigilant and always on the look-out for danger. I have definitely suffered from depression and OCD for years and the doctor said one reason I may not have made more lasting progress with the OCD treatment is because of the trauma in my past. I guess it won't hurt to be treated for the stuff I've been carrying around all these year, and it might very well do a lot of good.

I hope your treatment does you a lot of good, too. Sending you lots of hugs!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

"The present is what slips by us while we’re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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FROMNSIDE's Photo FROMNSIDE SparkPoints: (1,755)
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7/15/14 9:39 P

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emoticon ~ i don't call it a Bad day just different.
last Tuesday, i went to a new clinic and the assessment lady assessed me with having Severe Depression. Today, Tuesday, was my 2nd appt and i met with the Therapist one-on-one. She upgraded my Major Depression to Moderate, but added PTSD. I suppose I already knew that. But, when she was asking me the questions and talking about the DSM requirements it was emoticon to think about all the Muck I've been carrying with me for years. emoticon

Edited by: FROMNSIDE at: 7/15/2014 (21:40)
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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 5,963
7/13/14 7:46 P

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ARTISTICJEN, I'm sorry to hear about your depression and health problems. I wish you could get a new therapist, but the wait does sound really long. I hope things get better for you soon.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

"The present is what slips by us while we’re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 5,963
7/13/14 7:40 P

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JXNCHICORY, I'm sorry your table and chairs were stolen - that's really mean of whoever did it. Sometimes I just don't understand people at all. Sending you hugs.

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"The present is what slips by us while we’re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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ARTISTICJEN's Photo ARTISTICJEN Posts: 24
7/13/14 12:43 A

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Ug.

My therapist is useless. Want another one, but the system is always backed up, so a new one would take a year to get and I'd be without anyone in the mean time. Right now, she's the closest to social activity I get.

My health issues are creeping up on me again. I'm scared that my liver is going to get worse because I can't get my stuff together. I'm not eating right so I'm gaining fluid again.

I have no prospects for the future. I sleep, I get up, I sit here in pain, eating everything I shouldn't. Lather.Rinse.Repeat.

I got some happy/crushing news. I could take some pills and cure one ailment in order to do something I probably shouldn't. But it may be my last chance. Not sure what I'll do, probably nothing.

Everything is just feeding the depression. Usually, I just let myself feel the depression and not fight it. In my case I've realized it passes quicker when I just go with it. But right now, there's just too much going on, too many stresses.

Sorry for the vagueness, Not real excited to air my personal dirty laundry, at least not certain things. Just had to vent some of this out.

You can read a little bit more in my blog if you're curious.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Jen



Edited by: ARTISTICJEN at: 7/13/2014 (00:44)
JXNCHICORY's Photo JXNCHICORY Posts: 2,699
7/11/14 12:29 P

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And now, last night while I was volunteering at our neighborhood PEACE camp for kids (where we have about 50-some kids attending for the month), someone stole the table and chairs from my front porch. They were just plastic, but nice looking, resembling wrought iron. I'd had them for about 12 years. So very sad. And, yes, it feels like another straw ....
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Edited by: JXNCHICORY at: 7/11/2014 (12:31)
If we are to go on living together on this Earth, we must all be responsible for it.
~ Kofi Annan

To cherish what remains of the Earth and to foster its renewal is our only legitimate hope of survival.
~ Wendell Barry

Nancy in Michigan


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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 5,963
7/10/14 10:26 P

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Yes, it's fine for you to post here - welcome!
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Hoping tomorrow is better and brighter for you.
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"The present is what slips by us while we’re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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YOUNGNSMYLIE's Photo YOUNGNSMYLIE SparkPoints: (8,574)
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7/10/14 10:10 P

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I guess it's ok for me to post here--not tech savvy and still learning how message boards work lol. It wasn't a bad day in the sense that I woke up and decided to make the most of it, but I just feel isolated in my new city. I'm angry, too, because right before I left my old home, I started developing a deeper relationship with someone I love, and I have an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness--we'll never get a chance at something great now that I've moved. In the scheme of things, it's small, right? But when you are depressed, it's the small things that are the straws that break the camel's back. I'm trying to hope and trust that tomorrow I will see things more clearly.

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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 5,963
7/10/14 10:02 P

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"The present is what slips by us while we’re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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JXNCHICORY's Photo JXNCHICORY Posts: 2,699
7/10/14 8:15 P

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Bad day for me, too. No real emergencies. Just a long week, trying to do too much as a volunteer, tired, and discouraged. Sorry.
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Edited by: JXNCHICORY at: 7/10/2014 (20:18)
If we are to go on living together on this Earth, we must all be responsible for it.
~ Kofi Annan

To cherish what remains of the Earth and to foster its renewal is our only legitimate hope of survival.
~ Wendell Barry

Nancy in Michigan


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QWAVIE's Photo QWAVIE Posts: 124
7/10/14 11:16 A

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Praying for you and your family. May the Lord lift you out of the darkness that is around you. May He lighten your load and heal you and your family body, mind, and spirit. May He surround you with HIs heavenly angels to guide and protect you . I ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen emoticon

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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 5,963
7/2/14 2:43 P

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PHATCRYSSY, I'm sorry things are so hard right now. I hope everything gets better soon. Take care and hang in there.

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"The present is what slips by us while we’re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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PHATCRYSSY's Photo PHATCRYSSY Posts: 247
7/1/14 10:10 A

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This is whats going on in my life this past couple weeks. Hence my depression is throught the roof.

We are still going through a bunch of mess. Sunday we had to rush my father in law to the hospital by ambulance. he came home from mowing a lawn and went straight to bed, got up 30 minutes later with sever leg cramps that mad him scream. then he quit breathing, he turned grey and we got him to breath again but it was shallow and raspy, he couldnt focus his thoughts or see us. could not make a sentence. then his left started to droop, and his right arm tensed up and contorted. and he passed out.

he has been in the hospital on fluids and they have started him on insulin, they are making an appointment for him to see a neurologist . he is coming home today, but has appointments the rest of the week. Final diagnosis, SEVERE dehydration, and altered mental state. Mom is freaking out because she can afford to take any time off work. But dad wants her to be in his sight at all time. Dad has been crying and depressed all day. My husband and I are cleaning all day today in the house. those house jobs no one likes doing ( cleaning carpets washing all the bed linens, mopping the tile). Just continue to pray.

My Husband had to be reseed at the e.r. on thursday, his bronchitis was no better so they gave home more steroids and STRONG antibiotics.

Edited by: PHATCRYSSY at: 7/1/2014 (10:11)
“NEVER!! discourage anyone...who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.”
~~Plato~~


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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 5,963
6/29/14 7:07 P

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Thanks, Bridget, it's good to know the MRI techs will work with patients to help them through it. Even though I made it through these MRI's, when they were over I promised myself I wouldn't have another unless I was given some medication first. I really thought I wasn't going to make it through the one on my neck. I prayed, focused on my breathing, and listened to the music they had coning through the headphones. Even with all that, I felt so panicky at one point that I wasn't sure I could stay in there.

Thanks again!

Miller emoticon

"The present is what slips by us while we’re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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BRIZEXOTICEYES's Photo BRIZEXOTICEYES SparkPoints: (1,356)
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6/29/14 6:42 P

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MRIs are NO fun. I went in thinking it was no big deal. Really not understanding what it meant for me with my depression, anxiety, PTSD and OCD. The first day, I put on my brave face and tried to convince myself I had it. I promise you, I did not last 2 seconds. I could hear and not see. HUGE issue for me. I had an amazing tech who said, come back tomorrow and take your meds (double my script and since I normally only take 2.5 mg, 10 mg was a HUGE jump). Taking the extra meds caused even more anxiety. I thought they would have to put me to sleep. However, the tech, was very understanding, let me watch part of one, showed me how to escape, handed me a panic bulb. It got the the point the noise of the machine was comforting.

Anyway, I say all of this top say, do not be embarrassed to speak up about things. You would be surprised at what techs, doctors, and nurses are capable of when you say I have ...., so please do not.....

I do this ANY time I go to the ER (which, believe me is a LAST resort). I do not want them coming at me with me needles and shooting me up with stuff without telling me what it is, why I need it, what it will do, etc. Yeah part of my PTSD and such is I am a control freak. I am working on it. rofl

Glad to hear you got through it Miller! That is AWESOME!!

*~* Bridget *~*
I am a survivor, and I will continue to fight my daily struggles until I overcome them. :)


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JPAGGEO's Photo JPAGGEO Posts: 66
6/28/14 10:30 A

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Hi!

I read your post and just want to say - please don't fake it. It's really important to see someone when you are depressed or feeling down. Some professionals in the field of psychiatry and psychology are really good - it may take some shopping around, but I've found someone that I see for four years now and I've made GREAT progress with her.

I think you can make great progress too and feeling better about yourself will help you with your healthy lifestyle changes. I wish you the best. Julie

Julie from Glyfada, Athens, Greece
using Eastern Standard Time
All Things Greek SparkPage Administrator

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? Therefor, honor God with your body. 1 Corinthians 8:19-20


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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 5,963
6/26/14 3:33 P

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PHATCRYSSY, Wow - you have been going through a lot. I hope the stomach flu and bronchitis are gone now and stay gone. Sorry you're getting the blame for things - that doesn't seem fair. Hang in there!
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Edited by: MILLERISHEALTHY at: 6/28/2014 (10:52)
"The present is what slips by us while we’re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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PHATCRYSSY's Photo PHATCRYSSY Posts: 247
6/26/14 11:33 A

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Have not ben ignoring you my friends, Just going thru some mess. In the past couple weeks I have had the stomach flu, and turned 38, then my husband and mother in law got the stomach flu and my husband turned 35. Along with the stomach flu my husband got Bronchitis and we spent 7 hours in the emergency room on his biethday. I am getting less sleep, and less nutrition, less of everything. I am putting on a happy face so that i dont get blamed for all that is wrong but some days I get blames anyway.


“NEVER!! discourage anyone...who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.”
~~Plato~~


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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 5,963
6/24/14 6:49 P

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CHRIS, yes, my MRI's were this afternoon and I made it through them. I almost freaked out during the neck one (for some reason) but I hung in there and got through it and the lower back one, as well. Thanks for asking!


AKALIE, I'm glad today is going better and that you'll get to talk with your doctor about possibly going to a specialist. Take care and keep in touch!


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"The present is what slips by us while we’re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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ARMATTHAEI's Photo ARMATTHAEI Posts: 1,805
6/24/14 1:18 P

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With depression, faking it until you make it only goes so far. I am glad you are seeking help & reached out to this supportive team also.

Blessings,
Amanda, RN

Team Leader of Night Shift Nurses
Team Leader of Nurses Everywhere


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AKALIE's Photo AKALIE SparkPoints: (4,862)
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6/24/14 10:49 A

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Today is going better. I had a friend who said I could send him whatever I needed to share yesterday. He didn't respond after that message but he didn't complain about my venting, either. And today I am talking to my doctor when I get home from work. It's only my primary care doctor, and she is only going to be going through a questionnaire to see if she should send me to a specialist, but it should be alright.
I know I could fake it and get through the damn thing, but I should probably stop doing that sort of thing.

Thank you, guys.

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FATCRISMATIC's Photo FATCRISMATIC SparkPoints: (3,922)
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6/24/14 12:40 A

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How was your MRI? I think I read today was the day. emoticon

Building my bucket list and enjoying the ones I've accomplished!!! I quit smoking and have visited 34 out of 50 states. But I want to see the grand canyon.


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6/24/14 12:38 A

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Kudos to you Akalie! Realizing there s a problem is the first step to mental health. Plus you took another step in the right direction by contacting your doctor. Smile! Your doing great and should be proud of yourself.

I agree with others advice of meds, doctor, counseling whatever it takes. Earlier on this forum I wrote a trick I use. Read it over for a short time it might help. I also write in a journal once in a while. It was a great place for me to vent. Once on paper the problem didn't seem so bad afterall or I released it in thin air. Poof! gone. Not an easy task, but doable.

Please keep us informed. I'm here if you need me. emoticon

Oh! Grandpa said laughter is the best medicine. So fake laugh to get started. emoticon or just smile! emoticon

Chris

Building my bucket list and enjoying the ones I've accomplished!!! I quit smoking and have visited 34 out of 50 states. But I want to see the grand canyon.


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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 5,963
6/23/14 10:43 A

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AKALIE, don't give up. Keep talking to your doctor and pursue treatment for the depression. It's not uncommon, in my experience, to feel let down or sad when you finally admit you need help and you take steps to get it and those actions alone don't suddenly make you better. But the truth is, those actions are necessary, but that alone won't fix the problem. You're going to need treatment, just as if it were a physical disorder like a broken arm or diabetes.

Don't be afraid to do what your doctor recommends - medication, counseling, therapy or whatever. We've all been there and while it's hard sometimes, you can do it. And what do you have to lose? Just your depression - and we all want to lose our depression and feel better.

Take care and big, big hugs!!!
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"The present is what slips by us while we’re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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