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MAJONES1225's Photo MAJONES1225 Posts: 5,746
9/26/13 1:01 A

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Do not feel that way. It is not you and your weight. No matter how heavy you are or are not it boils down to how you feel about you. If you show the lack of self esteem and pride in yourself others can pick up on that. I have learned that no matter how heavy I am, I love me. Everyone has to accept me for me, because this is who I am. My size has nothing to do with my personality. Here is a sample of what I am taking about. I have a co-worker who is well over 500 lbs and boy can she eat. This woman will wear cloths that I would not wear for a big girl and she has a boyfriend. He is really good looking too. She told me that it is all in how you carry yourself.

So hold that head up high, wear that smile, let the real you come out and you will find that the right man will come along. emoticon

"Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still."


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LETTING_IT-GO's Photo LETTING_IT-GO SparkPoints: (1,928)
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9/22/13 6:47 P

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It's so easy to speculate and internalize the reasons why we are alone but those aren't important things. I had a similar conversation with friends and nearly got a slap to the back of my head. And, they were right. What's important is making our lives something we want to live fully. The feelings and experiences of living a full life naturally get the curiosity, attention, and interest of others. From that pool of people we're most likely to find people who want to share in our full lives.
A young friend went through a big breakup in February. At her age, I was going through a divorce. My advice to her was to put together her bucket list and to act on them. Since April she's been living in Australia. Each weekend I see more and more photos of new friends, male and female, new places, and her soaring esteem and spirit.
Not all of us need to run to Australia, though it could be fun, but we all have things we'd love to do in our lifetimes. All I can say is... DO THEM! Write out your bucket lists. Pick items you can do, that you can afford to and that you have the courage to do. Don't accept your own excuses not to do them.
"Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid." - Goethe.

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PLATINUM755's Photo PLATINUM755 SparkPoints: (276,568)
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9/21/13 5:48 P

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A relationship is about two people feeling the same way, it's not just about you. You've taken the first step, socializing. Internalizing your fears in part of emotional eating trap. Take the positive part of what you've learned and take it with you as you continue your journey to a healthier lifestyle. emoticon

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.

Mistakes are the portals of discovery.

Don't be afraid to give your best at what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.

It is never too late to be what you might have been.


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IAMAGEMLOVER's Photo IAMAGEMLOVER Posts: 23,644
9/18/13 2:29 P

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Hi. I am sorry that you are hurting right now. I could right a long response, but suffice it to say he doesn't deserve you. He had a history with this other woman and if he can save it, he really should. I don't know if children are involved. If someone is right for you they will care for you thin, fat, warts, no warts, long hair, short hair, they will care for you the way you are. God created you and he doesn't create junk only masterpieces. Remember that.

I love SparkPeople

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

I am responsible for my own happiness.

My name is Bonnie






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SWIMMAN's Photo SWIMMAN Posts: 2,307
9/18/13 5:37 A

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Hey you've got a lot of good support and ideas from the others; try to really "hear" what wooweetoo and others have shared with you.
I know it hurts but you are OK and you'll get through this :-)
Thomas

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SWIMMAN's Photo SWIMMAN Posts: 2,307
9/18/13 3:46 A

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Hey you've got a lot of good support and ideas from the others; try to really "hear" what wooweetoo and others have shared with you.
I know it hurts but you are OK and you'll get through this :-)
Thomas

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FEMALEWRITER99's Photo FEMALEWRITER99 Posts: 572
9/18/13 12:42 A

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I have over 200 pounds to lose and have been in your shoes. I've also been in 3 serious relationships and have dated several men, and if there's one thing I've learned is that being single is one of the greatest gifts in the world.

When someone rejects our feelings it's awful, like a blow to the stomach. I've spent way too many nights crying into a pillow over a guy who didn't reciprocate my feelings. Time heals all wounds. In the end, although you may not know it now, you are far better off without him.

While I do not know you, I can truthfully say I know how you feel. Embrace being single and the freedom it gives you. If someone isn't into you as much as you're into them, know that it's not you, it's them.

The worst thing I think anyone can do is actively seek a relationship, because then it's based on just wanting to be in a relationship. You're fabulous with or without a man. Meet people and befriend them, see where it goes. But relationships, in my humble opinion, are overrated emoticon

Eliminate negative energy from your life.


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WOWEETOO's Photo WOWEETOO SparkPoints: (170,976)
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9/17/13 6:31 P

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howdee friends
the first thing i will say is look in the mirror and love yourself..you are more than a bag of bones and a hank of hair
how can i say this
i weighed 378 and i lost 273 of it and it took me five years..i have maintained that loss right here at spark people for almost four years i am not looking because i am perfectly happy having the time to be here and have friends on spark people..of course that is not for everyone but you have to learn to accept you for all that you offer from your heart and i don't believe you will find a womanizer in there..you will work and you won't have that attitude well you you wouldn't look at me before
DRINK THE WATER..AND STOP THOSE LATTES AND STUFF LIKE THAT THEY HAVE OOZES OF CALORIES IN THEM EVEN THE SLIM ONES STOP THE SUGARED DRINKS TOO
STOP THE FAST FOOD i have a staples easy button everytime i get back and don't stop at the fast food drivein i get to hit it..it's wonderful and as a result i'vre found i am not going to die if i don't have that snack right away..just say no i don't want it
if you are out have those little snacks handy..planned snacks are far better
know that there are things that happen during weight loss..plateaus for one ..i was 40 pounds out from goal and spent 9 months before the scale moved again no matter what i did..you just gotta let it come in it's own time and it will it was hard because everyone including the docs were busy telling me i didn't need to go any further but i was not at goal REMEMBER THE GOAL YOU CAN DO IT
move forward always..know that there are things that happen in life among them birthdays weddings funerals the whole nine yards remember one meal and one piece of cake never put any weight on you permanently..it doing it everyday that does it..when accept this stuff and lose the guilt trips you lay on yourself because you 'FAILED' you will have learned your lessons you will learn how to eat and when you do you will have learned that maintenance is easy for sure
start moving..whatever movement you can but you gotta start not on monday or the first day of next month RIGHT NOW..MY FIRST 100 POUNDS WAS DONE WITH MOVEMENT FRTOM THE CHAIR EXERCISE GROUP HERE..it can be done
come every day and post and ask questions and be a part of the team if you wander off for a few days no apology is needed just get back up and continue where you left off no need to start all over and we have all done it
and welcome again to ya'll i'm here everyday ask anything
the lady mary

TODAY IS LIFE THIS IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL

there is no cause when there is no effect km

i can do that, but not on a tuesday
for that is my day of thrust in the opposite direction -
off the starboard bow
over the hurdles,
and down the shute.

last is just the slowest winner. c.hunter boyd

people often say that motivation doesn't last. well neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. zig ziglar

if i stitch fast enough do


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SMART4ANDREY's Photo SMART4ANDREY Posts: 423
9/17/13 3:40 P

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Yeah, same here, that's the reason I don't take interest at all. To the point of actually declining to to go on a date with a girl I actually like, cause I can't believe someone can like me.
It always surprises me when I see big guys having wives and especially girlfriends.

For longest time I thought that I would loose my weight for a girlfriend if I would have one.
I don't think this way now and on my way to become good looking.

One thing that actually concerns me that I may become a womanizer when I loose the weight.
Thinking like "When I was fat you didn't like me, now I'm thin and you do."

Hi, I'm Andrey.
Seeking friends @Smart4Andrey


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9/17/13 2:30 P

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Thank you. I'm trying to get myself back on track losing weight. I think working on myself is the best thing for me right now. I'm trying to make a workout schedule right now which is helping me have some motivation.

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FOXYROXY13's Photo FOXYROXY13 Posts: 884
9/17/13 2:14 P

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I know what you mean. I think like that any time I get even the smallest interest in anyone. I've never actually had a relationship, I'm 26 now, but it feels like I never will. Right now I'm just trying to not worry so much about that, trying being the key word there, and get into doing things for me and only me. I worry way too much about what other ppl think. I really only just started, I'm doing yoga and martial arts, but it's keeping me busy and helping me lose weight. I don't know if new hobbies/activities would help you at all, but at least for now it seems to be helping me. I know it's not always an option also. The right person will come along for both of us one day. It's just so hard to be patient, or to believe it.

Roxy
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9/17/13 2:02 P

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So lately I've been talking a lot with a friend of mine and had really started to fall for him. Last night he told me he's getting back together with is ex. I've been extremely depressed ever since. All I can think about is what's wrong with me, how I'm fat and no one will want me because of how I look. I don't know what to do or how to stop feeling like this.

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