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Dealing with Depression

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NASFKAB
SparkPoints: (161,048)
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4/17/14 9:14 P

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all the best



THEPOET465
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4/17/14 7:09 P

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Feel like I need to cry, but the tears do not come out. I feel this pain and emptiness inside. I attended my aunt's funeral yesterday, this may have something to do with it. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. I plan on watching netflix comedies today to see if this helps.



KHUFSTETLER
KHUFSTETLER's Photo Posts: 203
4/17/14 1:34 P

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a bit low today. Looking for some meaning in life to help me stay focused and get motivated again.

looking for friends to connect with, get to know, and encourage each other along this journey. :-)


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NASFKAB
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4/17/14 11:44 A

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walk using a walker & find that am doing better



REBECCA7436
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4/17/14 10:07 A

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I have never slept well even as a kid, one thing that helps is go to bed and get up the same time everyday even the weekend. I all so have a CD of the ocean or the rain.


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KIMMIEKAY21
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4/16/14 10:49 P

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Thank you Ruthte you are so wonderful. My sister would laugh at me if she knew half of my thoughts and the that I did. They are so out of touch with me.

Hi Cutenekko. Insomnia is so bad for me I have been up for days. I no longer sleep in the bed with my husband cause the movement of him keeps me from going to sleep. But I know that we are all on here to loose weight and I have started the sugar free diet.

If it has added sugar to it I do not eat it. So that means no salad dressing alot of other condiments mayo ketchup bbq sause no bread etc. I only eat food that is all natural sugar fruit and veggies and now most are going to come out off my garden I always had one before but this one is better alot more herbs and different veggies ones that will fill you at lunch and dinner and don't have to worry about snacks. I don't drink nothing but water after 7 and after 8 nothing all. I feel that more hydration I have the more I am functioning. So now instead of a 3 a clock bed time I have been going about 12. I have also taken all light up items out of my room I have no computer tablet or cell in my room neither. They may turn on in the middle of the night and wake you up then you are not able to go back to sleep.



I HOPE THINGS GET BETTER FOR YOU


You need to love yourself


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KRILL14
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4/16/14 7:51 P

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Hi Cutenekko, I have problems with insomnia and I find meditation tapes really help. I find it also helps to stay out of the bedroom except for sleep and meditation and I keep a sleep hours log with comments to try to determine what causes me to stay awake nights. Lately, I haven't been having problems sleeping.


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CUTENEKKO
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4/16/14 7:46 P

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Hi Nasfkab, good to hear you're enjoying walking. emoticon Went running this morning & feeling good. But not sleeping well lately...getting 5 ~ 6 hours a night only. emoticon Any tips for better sleep?


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NASFKAB
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4/16/14 1:14 P

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walking more & feeling better



JENTHEPIRATE
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4/16/14 11:22 A

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I'm pretty good today, so far. Cutting down visits to my therapist to once a month now. We'll see how that goes.

I want to run all the races!


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RUTHIET_456
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4/16/14 2:47 A

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KIMMIEKAY21: How awesome that you started college! That will open doors for you and you will be able to explore opportunities that are available for you. I too want to go back to college because that's the only way I will be able to advance in my job.

How wonderful that you have a best friend. I don't really have one so it's hard for me because often I am alone with my thoughts. I'm not in a relationship and my sisters are wonderful but they would be shocked to hear about some of the things that go through my mind. I know that they love me very much and would take care of me if I ever needed it so that's a comfort.

As you gain confidence you will be able to learn to be selfish and do what you want and need to be happy and fulfilled. You are the most important person to yourself and you will be a success because you are worth it. Sorry that your daughter is so far away but it's nice that you can talk to her.

Have a great day all!
emoticon

I'm Ruth and I live in NYC. I love Jazz!

Co-leader Spark New York City-The Official Team

"...come celebrate with me that every day something has tried to kill me and failed." ~Lucille Clifton

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." - CS Lewis


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KIMMIEKAY21
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4/16/14 12:22 A

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Hi Ruthiet thank you so much for your support. Today the 15th was a better day. I sign up for college. I applied for fafsa. Talked to my oldest daughter in Utah 3 times with out crying. She was so proud of me and college. I got her taxes done for her over the phone and an apartment application. What a crazy day. It is hard being in virginia and her being there. I also talked to my best friend I was raised across the street from her. I have known her all my life and she knows everything that has went on with my family the abuse the beaten. Everything. She wants me to come to her house for easter. She always has my heart.

I tried to talk to my husband today the only thing I hear is I have to make up to you today. But I feel what about tomorrow. He has allowed his dad to call me names call me a fat f****bi***. Tell me that I should just die and things like that. And then he chooses to be with them on this holiday. I have to be able to leave. He tells me that I shouldn't hold it against his dad. I should just let it ago. I need to have peace within myself but I don't think that I can and live with him.

I am proud to hear that you ran 2.5 miles I know it is hard. You can do it and don't worry about what others are saying or thinking just know that you are getting healthy and you are looking better everyday.

You need to love yourself


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RUTHIET_456
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4/15/14 2:37 A

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KIMMIEKAY21: Sorry youíre having such a hard time. I ditto what KRILL14 said about finding supportive relationships. I struggled with finding and losing jobs for 14 years. Nine years ago I finally found the job for me and I have thrived ever since. The people at the job have been very supportive, although they donít know about my illness. They just appreciate my work ethic and my initiative. After four years, however, I ended a relationship that just wasnít getting me anywhere. Thatís a tough choice that we have to make: either stay in a relationship that is not fulfilling or move on and try new things. Perhaps it would help, when you are feeling better, to talk to your husband, and tell him how you feel and and that you need him now more than ever. If he truly loves you he will work with you to make things better for both of you.

Depression is something I fight every day. I have found that through exercise I am meeting supportive people and feeling better about myself. I recently started running and have met a wonderful woman who enjoys getting out and meeting me to go running. I canít keep up with her (sheís slim and Iím 83 lbs. overweight), but we encourage each other, and that makes a big difference. Yesterday for the first time I ran 2.5 miles. I went out by myself. I am usually so ashamed of my body and anxious that people will see me and criticize, that I freeze and sabotage my goals.

We all need to remember that we are in this for us. We are all unique in our own way and we are special because we deal with an illness that not many people understand. I survive because I take my meds every day and keep my appointments with my psychiatrist. He has become one of my fans and I can call him at any time. Without support this journey would be impossible for me.

I wish us all a wonderful day where we can try to get closer to our goals.
emoticon


I'm Ruth and I live in NYC. I love Jazz!

Co-leader Spark New York City-The Official Team

"...come celebrate with me that every day something has tried to kill me and failed." ~Lucille Clifton

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." - CS Lewis


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KIMMIEKAY21
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4/14/14 10:33 P

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Hi Krill thanks so much. Today has not been much better. My oldest Birthday is in a week she is at college in Utah. Easter is here I don't have no one to spend it with. And after months of fighting over something that I wanted to do for my birthday with my friends and my husband bi◊◊◊ed about it we canceled it cause they seen the stress it was putting on me. What does he do ne comes home and with tickets to go see that person. That is like a smack in the face. It is not like we told him husbands could not come. He just said he didn't want to go. And had been acting like a jerk about it.

He wants to know why I cRy I can't tell him. I feel like he is to faced. I know I have I mental problems but he don't need to throw it up in my face and tell me I hear stuff in my head. When I am away from him for days I am fine. Why would someone who says he loves me says things like that to me. I don't get it.

You need to love yourself


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KRILL14
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4/14/14 7:15 P

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Hi KimmieKay and welcome! I am so sorry for what you are going through with your family. I found out in my 50s that what my mom always told me about my grandparents and other relatives not wanting to know me was not true. My dad showed me letters mom had kept in which my grandmothers begged to see me and my brothers.
Dad said mom was angry because my grandmothers didn't like who their children were marrying so mom took revenge my keeping us away from them. Why families can be so hurtful sometimes - I don't know. But you need to know there are people out there who will support you and care for you. Concentrate on finding supportive people to have relationships with and remember that the problem isn't you, it is your family.


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NASFKAB
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4/14/14 2:15 A

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Happy Bangla New year 1421



LADYB2013
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4/14/14 2:11 A

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hey krill. I to have diabetes and coud not figure out the terrible mood swings. i have suffered from depression for over 20 yrs. but here latley the mood swings are unbearable. now I know after research and talking to my dr. that when your surgar is out of whack so are we.
hope we both feel better soon. I have been off the site for several months. but always say when i come back that I am here to stay. I am making the effort at least. hugs to all.

Mary

LADY


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KIMMIEKAY21
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4/14/14 12:46 A

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Hello I am new to the team. I am a very depressed person. Having a hard time holding a job down. Keeping up with life. I am married to a very unsupported person. If I tell him why I am depressed and what is going on he turns it around and uses it against me. I will be 40 in 2 weeks and the only family I truly have is my 2 daughters and my 2 best friends that I have know all my life. I don't have none of my family in my life. I had been told by my mother all my life I was not wanted. I found out why just shy of my 38th birthday why. My father is not my father. It is not my fault nor his. But he was hurt just as well and now will not talk to me. My brothers and sister knew about it so I don't want to have nothing to do with them. But my husband blames me and says I walked away from my mother and betrayed her. I can't take any more hurt from hurt. I am 40 years old and I don't know who my dad is and the one that I love and did everything for when he had cancer will not talk to me. And I was only born 40 years ago.

So today I am so so sad

You need to love yourself


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KRILL14
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4/13/14 6:54 P

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Hi DHunter, I also find the afternoons are when my depression is the worst. I made a youtube playlist and dance around to cheer me up and have been working on craft projects. It is hard to do fun things when I have been out of work over 2 years now but I know I need this to keep my sanity.


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DHUNTER67
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4/13/14 7:26 A

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Dealing with a lot of issues. So, depression is hitting me in the late day. Seems I can't do anything past 2pm. Which for some reason has always been a hard time for me to function. Very depressed last night.

No motivation today. Been working out 6 days straight, so I'm taking today off to distract myself and adjust.

Going to watch my eating and hydrate and veg out. If I push myself, I will only become more overwhelmed.

Plus, I'm going thru a med change, so things are pretty wibbly wobbly right now.


bipolarslip.wordpress.com

"my beauty is a knowledge and understanding of who I am." - Pete Townshend

ďYou must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend.Ē - Bruce Lee


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KHUFSTETLER
KHUFSTETLER's Photo Posts: 203
4/12/14 5:07 P

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CHELBEDOO-- when my depression lifted a bit I took advantage of reading a book that gave me the A-HA: my needing assistance at times from my family is causing more depression than I can handle so I MUST do what it takes to not need them. That launched me into the decision to use my time between jobs to build income from home instead of laying around stressed out like I have been for a couple weeks. I also read a passage in a book that had a reference to God in a way I could accept. I used to be a pastor and lost my faith 12 years ago. So I am revisiting that now too. emoticon
I understand not being able to get up out of bed. That happens. Its especially guilt producing for me when its a nice day. Luckily I'm still to shy and anxious about my bf knowing how depressed I get so I will get up with him here. Hang in there and we can talk and encourage each other anytime. I will add you. ~ Kathleen

looking for friends to connect with, get to know, and encourage each other along this journey. :-)


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NASFKAB
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4/12/14 11:29 A

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slept 7 hours



SHANALFOSS
SHANALFOSS's Photo Posts: 82
4/11/14 10:11 P

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got out of work @ 9am (what a crazy work night) I never stopped since I walked in the door @ 8pm the night b4. Tried to get some sleep, nope none. Got up & went back in2 work 8pm-9am again (feeling like a turtle could beat me @ a race), all my words get tongue tied when I verbally speak, I have no energy @ all. Please send energy my way (its only 10pm & 9am is a long way away).
emoticon
Shana

breath & keep going
Never give up.
Believe in yourself.


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CHELBEDOO
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4/11/14 4:30 P

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KHUFSTETLER - great for you keeping up with jounaling and reading! As well as your A-HA moments! Would love to hear more about those if you don't mind sharing!! I really need to get on my jounaling. I have gotten several as a gift on different retreat weekends, so I have some really pretty ones to use. I need to kick myself in gear somehow!!

As for myself, I'm just getting over a stomach virus and feeling pretty good. Still a bit queasy at times with a strong aversion toward food, but at the same time having some weird cravings that I'm not sure my tum tum could handle. Things like Red Lobster, Chinese food, and Applebees - but also, soup beans with corn bread and pickled beats....... I don't think any of that would agree with me at the moment, or my diet plans. As far as depression goes, since I didn't feel good still, I canceled a dentist appointment for the 2nd time, and laid in bed until 3 pm. I really hate when I cannot make myself do something that I truly need to do, and waste a beautiful day like today in the bed, sleeping and daydreaming of a life I wish I had. Still waiting on Dr. for anti-depressants. Hoping they will help.




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KHUFSTETLER
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4/11/14 3:28 P

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I'm in a very reflective mood today. I have been journaling and reading which has lead to 3 major A-HA breakthru's that I have been perplexed about for years. I find myself very quiet around the apartment but aparently its not offensive cuz my bf seems very happy and pleased with me. emoticon emoticon emoticon

looking for friends to connect with, get to know, and encourage each other along this journey. :-)


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KRILL14
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4/10/14 7:38 P

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Hi Rebecca, I get tired in the afternoon too but I don't usually have anxiety unless there is a good reason for it. I think my afternoon slump may be because I have blood sugar problems.


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READWRITERUN07
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4/10/14 2:41 P

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I feel good today. I've found that I feel so much better when I get a good workout in a day. It has helped so much with my anxiety. I've also found that planning and communicating well with my partner help control my anxiety. And, of course, playing with my dog.


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REBECCA7436
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4/10/14 2:31 P

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I felt good this morning but this afternoon I feel anxiety and tired does anybody get that way in the afternoon?



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JENTHEPIRATE
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4/10/14 10:16 A

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Great job, Krill!


I'm off to a good start too. About to go car shopping. Nervous!

I want to run all the races!


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ANAMORPHOSIS
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4/9/14 9:28 P

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Good for you KRILL14! Job interviews can be nerve-wracking.

Like Gold to Aery Thinness Beat. ~John Donne


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KRILL14
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4/9/14 8:37 P

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I had a job interview this morning and I started going into an intense depression yesterday afternoon but I was able to come out of it before the interview. I didn't get a job out of it but I'm glad I was able to get through the interview OK.


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JENTHEPIRATE
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4/9/14 11:12 A

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I'm much better this morn than I was yesterday. So far. Took care of a few financial obligations that really took a weight off my shoulders.

I want to run all the races!


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SHANALFOSS
SHANALFOSS's Photo Posts: 82
4/9/14 5:29 A

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emoticon feeling crappy, resting a lot, not only does my head feel full I have body aches & start my work week tomorrow (o how long the shifts will be). All Stay free from this bug (blaaaaah).
emoticon
shana

breath & keep going
Never give up.
Believe in yourself.


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REBECCA7436
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4/8/14 12:41 P

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My day is going ok, eating healthy and drinking my water, trying to relax at work and not let things get to me. I need to workout but I have not felt like it



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ONICAM
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4/7/14 1:39 P

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I have been busy and having anxiety, but my eating is ok. I am getting new equipment today.


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DREAMED1
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4/7/14 12:15 P

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I'm having a pretty good day so far( albeit it's just after lunch) I ate a good breakfast and had a light yogurt for dessert at lunch. Things are getting on my nerves a little but I am on top of it.



DEBTEVELDAHL
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4/7/14 10:46 A

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Ruthyiet_456, Wow what a great job you're doing. It sounds as if you are really moving forward. Congratulations!

Jenthepirate, Hi, glad to hear that you are nightmare free.

Angelbeliever, I hope that you are beginning to feel better. I used to get chronic bronchitis a lot. It can really get you down if you let it. Hope you get well soon.

Gingerpawz, Wow what a busy and productive day you had! It sounds like you had fun with your son and had a nice, relaxing evening with your spouse. You made some really good choices.

Rebbeca7436, Hi and I wish you a really happy Monday, as well.

Wow, after several weeks of wet, drizzly weather we are finally getting some sunshine and mild temperatures. Looks like it is a great day to go bike riding and get some fresh air after being cooped up for so long. I have to go by the gym today and see if I can transfer to a location closer to me, now that I've moved. I hope that you all enjoy your day and your week. Sending hugs to all that need them. Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon



Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson


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REBECCA7436
REBECCA7436's Photo SparkPoints: (11,455)
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4/7/14 9:26 A

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Hi everybody happy Monday emoticon


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GINGERPAWZ
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4/5/14 11:04 P

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Good evening everyone,
Yesterday I worked on getting the utility room and the kitchen back in shape. I am trying to do one room at a time Until the house is clean again. My son asked me if I worked out and I told him yes cleaning house. He said that don't count like lifting weights or running does. I told him yes it does.

Today my husband took our 14 year old out to breakfast. With it cold out today , I decided to cook up some soup. Then I took Robert to his bowling league. While there one of the parents said you want nachos, pretzel with cheese or a candy bar. I told her no but I am getting up to get a diet coke. I wasn't hungry and had already decided to not to buy the greasy snacks.

My son said that he was hungry. I told him that I was sorry but you decided not to eat the soup that I made so you can wait.

After bowling my son was invited to a sleep over, so my husband and I are alone for the night. My ask me after getting back from dropping Robert off, go by sonic and get us a blast here is $10. I told him okay.

Did take our dog for a walk today and played with our three cats.

Hope everyone has a good evening with whatever you do.

emoticon

Sharon

Sharon CST Clarksville Arkansas

Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.

Winners are losers who got up and gave it one more try.

Aspire and Inspire Buddy Support Group: Arctic Fox
Biggest Loser Challenge.


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ANGELBELIEVER
ANGELBELIEVER's Photo SparkPoints: (54,675)
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4/5/14 2:51 P

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Hi everyone. No, I haven't abandoned you...Just been very busy..a lot of stuff happening. All is well though even though I have bronchitis AGAIN! Darn it! Back on antibiotics. I just had it in Dec. Just wanted to touch base. Have a great weekend.

Elayne from
Florida Eastern Time Zone

" My goal is to live the truly religious life, and express it in my music. If you live it, when you play, there's no problem because the music is part of the whole thing. To be a musician is really something. It goes very,very deep. My music is the spiritual expression of what I am--my faith, my knowledge, my being." by John Coltrane

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life!.-Annonymous



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JENTHEPIRATE
JENTHEPIRATE's Photo SparkPoints: (5,280)
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4/5/14 10:35 A

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Thanks DEB, luckily I haven't had any weird nightmares since, knock on wood.

Ruth sounds like you're doing great! Keep up the good work emoticon

I want to run all the races!


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RUTHIET_456
RUTHIET_456's Photo SparkPoints: (15,632)
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4/5/14 5:07 A

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Been symptom-free for a while now. The exercise is helping and learning to deal with stress is also helping. I started running and am sore but feeling energized.

Have an awesome day all!
emoticon emoticon

I'm Ruth and I live in NYC. I love Jazz!

Co-leader Spark New York City-The Official Team

"...come celebrate with me that every day something has tried to kill me and failed." ~Lucille Clifton

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." - CS Lewis


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NASFKAB
SparkPoints: (161,048)
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4/5/14 3:59 A

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n n n n n



NASFKAB
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4/5/14 3:58 A

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n n n n



NASFKAB
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4/5/14 3:57 A

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NASFKAB
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4/5/14 3:56 A

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NASFKAB
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4/5/14 3:56 A

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DEBTEVELDAHL
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4/5/14 2:43 A

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Jenthepirate, I hope that last night was nightmare free for you and that you had a another decent day. Our dreams can often have a profound affect on our waking hours.

Nafskab, I'm really glad to hear that you are improving every day. Physical therapy can be very hard, so keep up the good work.

Ibradford1, You seem to have had a rough day yesterday. Hopefully today you were feeling much better.

Susanowenglaser, I'm so sorry that you had such a negative experience at your doctor's visit. I, too have both high blood pressure and cholesterol and am on medication for them. At least they can be controlled with medication successfully. Exercise and diet play a large role with both of them. Eating better,making wiser dietary choices and exercising help to bring those numbers down, so the conditions do not have to be permanent.

Gingerpawz, my condolences on the passing of your parents. Grief can be debilitating and draining. I just recently lost my Dad and am in Grief Counseling to help me through this trying time. Controlling emotional eating is hard to do. You are not alone. We are here to listen should you need a comforting shoulder and to help encourage you with your goals. I am sure that you will once again be able to do things that are fun.

My day was pretty normal. Babysitting Micah while my daughter was at work, cleaning the kitchen, straightening up the house and other chores, all kept me busy today. It was a little less dreary outside and there were some sun breaks in the weather. That was nice. I could have eaten a little better, but I did get in some exercise this afternoon. This next week the weather is supposed to improve and we are getting sun and temperatures in the 70's. I can't wait for that. Until then my light box will have to do, as I look forward to better weather conditions. I really want to get out and ride my bike. Sending hugs to all those who need them and wishing you all a peaceful weekend. Take care and God bless, Deb

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson


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GINGERPAWZ
GINGERPAWZ's Photo SparkPoints: (30,266)
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4/4/14 8:25 P

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Good evening everyone,
The last two years has been a roller coaster ride with emotions and eating. Both of my parents have pasted away and has taken me this time to cope with it. Along the way I started feeding the emotions instead of coping with them. I am ready to start losing the 60 pounds and to be able to do things again that were fun. I look forward to talking with each of you and supporting you.

I hope everyone has a good evening with whatever you do.

emoticon

Sharon


Sharon CST Clarksville Arkansas

Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.

Winners are losers who got up and gave it one more try.

Aspire and Inspire Buddy Support Group: Arctic Fox
Biggest Loser Challenge.


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SUSANOWENGLASER
SUSANOWENGLASER's Photo Posts: 143
4/3/14 8:34 P

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just checking in. it has been a long time. 1st time in my life, i went to annual physical, and i left having high blood pressure and high cholesterol and scripts to take medicine for the. it scared me. i am scared. emoticon

Don't Sit And Wait. Get Out There.
Feel Life.
Touch The Sun.
Immerse In The Sea.
(by Rumi)
Susan


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IBRADFORD1
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4/3/14 1:42 P

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NASFKAB
SparkPoints: (161,048)
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4/3/14 12:37 P

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improving every day with the exxercise am doing



 
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