JAYKAE and back to SparkPeople and the team...Nice to have you with us on the journey to a healthier lifestyle again.
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.
Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
Don't be afraid to give your best at what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.
It is never too late to be what you might have been.
current weight: 138.0
Fitness Minutes: (155,569) Posts: 189,841 1/4/13 10:48 P
Hi Jaykae. There is no clear easy answer to your questions. When I read your post I could have written that awhile back. I still don't have any friends except on sp except Gary but that is my choice. I don't go out anywhere to socialize and make friends.---Unfortunately, you are right, looks do count in this world. I may have lost 114 pounds but I am far far far from being pretty. I have been mistaken for a male before by a couple different people from afar. I don't wear make up and I comb my hair that is it. No style, nothing. You know what, I don't give a hoot. You don't like it don't look. I was an accountant and yes, I didn't get jobs because I was obese. Their loss, I was a darn good accountant and know my stuff.
How do I stay motivated? I force myself when I am not. I blog and ask for help, just like you just did. I haven't exercised since November 4. You know what? It is a new year. My butt is going to the gym if I have to kick it myself out the door cold or no cold. I bought myself a new bathing suit today so no excuse that I am hanging out of the suit.---I respond to all new posts and welcome new members. They are so enthusiastic and it is catchy. I respond to people asking for support because everything I am saying to you is getting reinforced in my brain.. I lead 2 teams and create challenges and do them whether the team does or not. I just joined the January jumpstart challenge or something like that. Anything to get me going. I earn every single point I can everyday, that means taking quizzes, trivia, and logging my food every single day, every single morsel. I track a binge to remind myself look what you did. I am disabled so I have a lot of time to do all this. I am on SP 7 or 8 hours a day. Pick what is important to you. These are just ideas and things that I do. I hope some of them will help you.
Never ever ever think that you are not worth the effort to lose the weight. God made you and he doesn't make junk. Happy New Year.
I love SparkPeople
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
I am responsible for my own happiness.
My name is Bonnie I live in CT, EST.
I lost 122 pounds and have maintained it since 12/28/12.
I realize that be confident when a person is depressed is really hard. Although in the past you have defined yourself and relationships based on your weight, that is just one part of you. I kind of find I hide my confidence that is deep inside me by being overweight. I want you to think about what your true core is, as a happy & healthy individual. The confidence will only come out of its hiding place with a lot of encouragement & hard work. We are here to encourage you, but only you can do the work of living a healthy life & finding your confidence.
Blessings, Amanda, RN
Team Leader of Night Shift Nurses Team Leader of Nurses Everywhere
I have definitely struggled with those kinds of negative feelings and they still try to creep back in. For me, I think pursueing other goals along with my weight loss has helped a lot. I have gone back to school online and succeeding in school gives me confidence that carries over to my weight loss goals. It also reinforces to me that I am not my weight.
Hi JAYKAE, you have gotten superb advice from Bettie and Lynne which I hope you will follow. I think they make a very good point about noticing the way you portray yourself to others. I don't really have many friends, either. I have social anxiety and don't like to be around people much, even though (paradoxically) I long for friendships where I can just "be myself."
One thing I really believe is that, no matter what our size, if we get "out there" around people and smile and laugh and are full of fun and joy that people will be drawn to us. It won't matter at all how we look. I really believe that. I mean, I know there will always be a few jerks who base their opinions on a person's looks, but you can't do anything about people who are that shallow and who would want them as a friend anyway? People like that only love themselves.
I have depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder, along with the social anxiety. So I've gone around looking sad a lot, and I also have low self-esteem so I've mostly spent my life walking with my head down most of the time, and people pick up on those things. People aren't really drawn to be friends with people who look unhappy like me.
This last year or two, I've done an experiment where I MAKE myself put a smile on my face whenever I have to interact with others. Like in the drive-thru at a restaurant, or at the grocery store, library, or doctors office - anywhere where I have to speak to people. IT HAS MADE THE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD!!! People treat me completely differently than they did before and all I'm doing is smiling at them and asking them, "Hi, how are you today?" It's amazing how far a smile and a kind word can take you.
Also, I see women on TV all the time who are overweight, but they carry themselves with confidence, zest and enthusiasm and they are loved for being confident and sassy!
I don't really have a good answer to your main question, "How do you all stay motivated when it doesn't seem worth it to lose the weight?" I have a VERY hard time staying motivated, even though I know I need to lose the weight - if not for myself, then at least so I'll be around for my daughter as long as possible. But even that isn't enough to motivate me to make the right choices consistently.
I hope IAMAGEMLOVER reads this and responds - she's one of the Team Leaders and she's lost so much weight and is a true success story - I haven't been successful yet. She will be able to answer much better than I can. Also, go to INDYGIRL's page and read about her weight loss journey. There are also many, many success stories under the Community tab on the toolbar - some of those folks will certainly have ideas about how they kept their motivation when it didn't even seem worth it.
Please don't give up - this is the start of a new year. If you just start using the Nutrition Tracker every day to track what you eat and if you drink 8 cups of water a day and walk for 10 minutes, you'll be a success in my book - baby steps - you can do that and I can too! Let's keep on trying even though it doesn't seem worth it. We may find "down the road" that making these small changes will make an huge impact on the quality of our lives.
Edited by: MILLER-S at: 12/31/2012 (18:06)
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life." - Golda Meir
"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - Anonymous
I tend to agree with BMCOLLEY regarding the need to take care what image of ourselves we project to others. If we project a negative self-concept, that is what others will see. Likewise, if we begin to really love ourselves, this aura will shine forth to others. The following is the link to a helpful article which speaks to ways to develop and promote a positive self-image:
JAYKAE, you deserve all the best the world has to offer. It should not be based on your weight. Unfortunately, there are those who base friendship on looks. These are not friends to anyone. You do have to watch the signal you are sending to people about how you feel about yourself.
Are you currently in treatment with a physician and a counselor. If not, I would like to suggest you make an appointment with someone as soon as possible. You also should make an appointment with a dietician. You should discuss the need to exercise while you are being treated, with each of these professionals. They will tell you if there should be limitations to your exercises. And can discuss the need for medications or the need to try a new medication regimen.
I don't know if you used SP tracker before. I would strongly suggest you start using both the nutrition tracker and the fitness tracker. The nutrition tracker will let you know what your food intake involves. Your fitness tracker will help you determine what your calories burned are in relation to the calories you have taken in for the day.
Happy New Year and good luck.
If I can be of any further assistance please just let me know.
Those who make the worst use of their time are the first to complain of its shortness. --Jean de la Bruyere
current weight: 182.0
Fitness Minutes: (365) Posts: 15 12/31/12 4:36 P
I have not been on the site in a very long time and I have completely lost track of my plans to loose the weight. I have a hard time thinking that I deserve to loose it and that I deserve to be happy. I feel that my relationships have all been based on how much I weigh and that if I did not look this way I would have a completely different and better life. Maybe I would be married or have a family, maybe I would have gotten that job if I was not this weight. Looks do matter in this world and I think of that every time I look in the mirror. I will never be the right size to be considered "good looking," my body structure and genetics do not indicate that I will be that small and still be healthy. That is all I really want is to be healthy and not feel like such a drag on everyone who sees me. I have a really hard time thinking that I deserve to have friends, because I do not have any. How do you all stay motivated when it doesn't seem worth it to loose the weight? Because I have a hard time seeing the point of it even when I know I need to do it.
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