I'm so sorry about your mother-in-law's condition and that your anxiety is so bad right now. I think GREENPORT63 gave you some great advice about talking with your therapist or seeing your doctor. If you take medications for anxiety and/or depression, they may need some adjustment or if you don't take meds, maybe just talking to someone would help.
If these feelings are new, I definitely think you should talk to your doctor today. If you're used to this feeling and you know it's temporary, then I'm not as concerned. As far as how to let go and cry, I would suggest writing down all the thoughts and feelings you're having. You can blog them or journal them on SparkPeople, or just write it out on paper. When I do that, I find that I really, really get in touch with what I'm feeling and I allow myself to feel those feelings that I usually try to run away from by overeating, etc. Most of the time, if I type or write out all my feelings - fears, anger, hurt, loneliness - I find myself crying by the time I'm done.
If you're not a religious person, ignore this next suggestion. I find it helpful to pray and pour out all my feelings to God and ask for His help. I often find myself crying after pouring out my heart to God and the crying is cathartic and helps me feel better.
I've had OCD, depression and anxiety for 46 years and I know mine always gets much worse when my environment gets more stressful. My father in law had cancer and passed away the first year of my marriage and my anxiety was through the roof. It was such a terribly hard and stressful time. That was before I had found medications that would help, but even with my meds I still struggle more during extra-stressful times.
My heart goes out to you - I'll say a prayer for you and your family. Keep posting and let us know how you're doing.
PS - I sometimes use the expression that you used "I want to blow my head off" but with me - it's just an expression to relieve my anxiety. I hope that's the way you're using it, too - just as an expression to blow off some steam. But, if you really feel you might hurt yourself, please go to a hospital emergency room, call a suicide hotline, or take some other immediate action to get some help.
"The present is what slips by us while we’re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy
"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
"Comparison is the thief of joy."
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