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TOPIC:   Family support 


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PINGUINAPLATA
PINGUINAPLATA's Photo Posts: 633
8/18/11 1:18 P

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I'm pretty new to this, so just finding out about all of it. Thankfully my husband and son are adults who have options if they don't like what I cook. IE, you can eat what's made for you, or make your own arrangements.

So far, I haven't eaten out but we rarely do eat out so that's not a big deal.

It saddens me to hear some of the stories posted, about people's insensitivities to the needs of loved ones. Perhaps the word 'allergy' might help? If you were told that a person was allergic to peanuts and would become ill after eating them, there's no way you'd try and persuade that person to eat them. One can be deliberately vague about the specific reaction, just saying that you have an allergy to gluten and it makes you ill to eat it.


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CTRAVEL
CTRAVEL's Photo SparkPoints: (7,601)
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8/4/11 8:32 P

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That is great that all of your family is gf and very supportive. It sure makes things much easier.Thanks for your post it was really interesting.
Char

www.celiac.com
I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


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HIKELUV
HIKELUV's Photo Posts: 177
8/4/11 11:21 A

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Definitely stand up for your health needs. I can't imagine eating gluten to keep others happy - I end up with nausea, loose stools, fever, and exhaustion for days after eating gluten. Yuck!

Fortunately, my immediate family is all GF. My husband discovered after I had to go GF that all his gut issues disappeared when he ate GF as well. We also had our daughter give up gluten and dairy this spring, when her asthma was off the charts, and she has had an amazing improvement. Tried to re-introduce the dairy, and things got worse, so she's happy to stick with GF/dairy free. She was treated for four years at National Jewish Medical Center in Denver (the national experts in allergy/asthma) and they never tested for Celiac or talked about gluten as a possible issue. I'm thrilled that we found this out on our own and can help her get healthier.

As for extended family, some are very supportive. Some are awful. My dad and his wife were educated about gluten by a doctor who told my dad's wife that she has to stay away from it (she gets congested within minutes of eating it). However, she found it too "hard" to stick with, and will now say, "You can have peanuts, right? There's no gluten in peanuts? How about apples? Can you eat those?" It's just a head game. Their response after 3 years of knowing I (and now my whole family) need to eat GF is to do NO cooking or grocery shopping when we visit. My husband, daughter, and I have to do all the shopping and all the cooking. It's freeing in a way, but also feels like punishment. Like I said, head games. It's already very expensive to visit them (plane tickets are always over $400 per person) so the end result is we won't be able to visit as often because I can't afford the plane tickets and food for five for a week.

I like the idea to bringing your own food if you can, whether mixes, prepared foods, or staples like nuts/dried fruit, salads and things like that. When you come prepared you don't need to rely on others. It's so important to protect your health. Celiac isn't just about the awful visible symptoms - it does long-term damage internally. I was diagnosed with osteopenia in my 30s (10 years before I was diagnosed with Celiac), and it also ups the odds of cancer.

Keep in mind that when you eat your healthy GF foods you are also teaching your family members what is healthy. It's a teaching opportunity. Since Celiac runs in families you may be planting a seed for them to get checked down the road, and pave the way for them to adopt a more health-supporting diet. I like to focus on GF staples when I am with non-GF family/friends for this reason. For example, everyone recognizes a meal of grilled chicken, corn on the cob, and green salad as healthy and delicious. Eggs and fruit for breakfast are another example. When you eat "normal" foods that happen to be GF you help them see that GF isn't difficult.

Edited by: HIKELUV at: 8/4/2011 (11:58)
Winners do daily what others do occasionally (Pete Thomas).


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CTRAVEL
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8/2/11 1:30 P

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I definitely hear you as my hubby is very supportive but one of the family members was not, but is better now since my sister talked to her. About getting, I get sick every time I ingest gluten. In the beginning it took about an hour before I would get sick now it is about 20 minutes or less.
It is so important to be your own advocate. You know what you can or cannot eat and that is what is important
Char

www.celiac.com
I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


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CARRIBETH64
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8/2/11 1:04 P

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My immediate fam (husband and two sons) have been pretty supportive. I've got a couple of other frequently seen relatives who DO NOT get it. They think it's a choice, or they think if you do not react by immediately having "bathroom issues" that you can eat what you want. I've tried explaining it to these folks, educating them, explaining that sometimes I'll get sick, other times it manifests in other ways, but ALWAYS when I eat gluten I am harming myself, regardless of whether my reaction is obvious to them or not. Some people get it and some people don't. I'm just sticking with what works for me. I just won't eat things that will harm me, period. I bring my own food when I have to, and this is my way of making sure I have what I need and never have to make anyone outside of my home feel obligated to work around my GF needs. Sometimes my guys at home miss the pasta dinners but they do understand and they've been pretty flexible so far! (Only been a little over a month!)


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HEALTHYBARB1
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8/1/11 1:19 P

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I was very ill with celiac and autoimmune issues and so my family was supportive of me changing. They were not always happy when it affected them though. I made a goal to find gluten free foods that everyone could eat for our main dinner meal that I was cooking each day and let them eat what they were use to for other meals. I looked up options for me when we went out and only will go where there are foods I can eat. If we are at someone elses home or out where gluten free is not available I take food with me. I bought myself a mini cooler and easy to take foods so that I always have something to eat. You may not always be able to change how people view your celiac diet changes but you can refuse to eat anything that has gluten in it and take your own food with you. Health is very important and we have to stand up for ourselves in this area. Wish you the best. Barb

Smiles from Barb!!

"If you want something you've never had...you must do something you've never done!"

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CTRAVEL
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8/1/11 12:43 A

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I am sorry that you are not getting the support that you need to. I only had one family member that gave me a hard time and thankfully for my sister when she was down here visiting talked to her and things are much better now.

Hang in there and let us know how everything is doing.
Char

www.celiac.com
I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


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DJ4HEALTH
DJ4HEALTH's Photo Posts: 36,716
8/1/11 12:00 A

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You need to educate them about what happens in your body and also get the help of what is said by doctors about how you can die from lack of food since your body can't digest it properly because of the gluten.

Dorothy





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AMANDA_A_725
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7/31/11 8:04 P

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Maybe offer to cook a meal for them and then tell them afterwards that it was GF.... it might help if they realize that GF tastes good and doesn't have to be super difficult to adapt. Print out articles about the dangers of eating gluten when you have celiacs and tell them you're not being "difficult" or "picky" but saving your life! Good luck and stand your ground!

Co-Leader of the FIRM Believers team:
teams.sparkpeople.com/FIRM_Believers


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ILLINITEACHER52
Posts: 7,245
7/31/11 6:38 P

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Stand your ground. Bring your own food if necessary and just state, "I need to do this to stay healthy". They will probably come around eventually. (You could always get obnoxious and tell them about all the health benefits in detail. I'll bet they would get tired of hearing it and leave you alone.)


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CINDYTW
CINDYTW's Photo Posts: 5,780
7/31/11 6:25 P

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I have not had an issue, however you do need to stand up for your own health! Sometimes if you explain it like an allergy it helps. Or let them know it can cause cancer and other diseases...anyway I always find out what is being served and adapt myself as needed. I bring my own food a LOT! It will save putting anyone out and you are healthier for it!

Cindy

"To get something you never had you have to do something you never did"



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KATZZABELLA
KATZZABELLA's Photo Posts: 429
7/31/11 5:40 P

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Has anyone experienced the lack of support from Family? I hate arguing so I often make them happy by eating what ever they want and end up getting sick later. But yet they do not correlate any of my symptoms to what was eaten previously. If you experience this lack of support did you eventually get the support? and what did you do to get it?




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