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10/22/14 9:55 P

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I knew I was a girl from age 3. Unfortunately I was raised in a conservative Christian home with a WWII veteran as a father, so I hid as long as I could.

I almost started transition many times over the years but was too afraid I would lose everything.

In 2009 I started sinking into a horrible depression, and by 2010 I was pretty much buried in it ... I also knew it would never truly get better until I faced the truth about myself. After a few months of counseling I finally talked to my wife. She has chosen to stay with me.

I have been on hormones for 16 months and living full time for just over a year. The depression still lingers, but with the truth in the open I am able to work on the many other issues in my life.

Tiffie :-)

I'd give you a reality check, but my account is overdrawn.

My personal Blog: cowardly-lioness.blogspot.com

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9/13/14 3:47 P

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What a great story. Thank you for sharing it with us and congratulations on your marriage!

"How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world."
~William Shakespeare


Kelly


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9/13/14 10:15 A

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Mmmm, probably about age 22. (A while ago now - I just turned 50!) I grew up in an intensely Catholic family, and a small rural highschool. I think I had a strong self-preservation streak, so I just didn't really feel attraction at all, to anyone. I wondered if I was asexual. Faked attraction to a boy in school who was way outside my league - safe. No expectations that anything would come of it.

Went to college young, age 17, still thought I was asexual. Around age 21 I connected with a women's group on campus, young feminists. I felt totally at home! Finally felt I was where I belonged. Of course, most were lesbian... Went to gay bars with friends, gradually realized I was lesbian too. Explained all those teacher crushes! But I was single for about 5-6 more years, and it was hard to identify as lesbian when I'd never had sex or even a kiss with anyone.

Eventually ended up in a 15 yr relationship, which ended amicably. Dated someone for a couple years, and have now been with my life-partner for 5 years. We actually married after 6 months, though neither of us really believe in marriage! It just felt right... Family of origin, well they eventually came around more or less. I'm sure I am still being prayed for daily...

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7/18/14 10:55 A

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Thanks for sharing your AHA I'm Gay story with us.

"How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world."
~William Shakespeare


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7/18/14 10:49 A

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Age 20. I walked all the way across campus to see a note that my friend, who had already come out to me, was at the library. I then went to the library and covered all 6 floors looking for her so I could "bump into her". I realized that this is not something you normally do when you are just interested in a friendship. emoticon

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6/20/14 4:50 A

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Linda, I love your A-HA moment and thanks for sharing it with us.

"How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world."
~William Shakespeare


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YISHAY's Photo YISHAY Posts: 626
6/20/14 1:07 A

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I totally agree i was 34 when i figured out i was gay finally but i did have a hint at age 11 when i fooled around with a friend and thought i like this she said then your a lesbian this was when i was in school and there was lots of prejudece in MTL at the time so it was suppressed for a very long time 29 years to be exact. along with many girl crushes during school that i paid no attention to.

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6/19/14 11:09 P

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MORETHENAMOM - please don't fear what other women will think of you for not having been with a woman before. There are more of us out there than you realize - "us" being those who have lived lives they thought they were "supposed" to live instead of the lives we've wanted to live. Now that you have support of those who mean the most to you in your life, it won't be so difficult to concentrate on finding who you are truly meant to be with.



Linda
Newark, Ohio


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6/19/14 11:01 P

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Love reading through the "A-Ha" moments..........

I finally figured myself out at the age of 48! Married twice, divorced twice - the second after 21 years of marriage and two wonderful kids. After my second divorce I did some traveling to see my favorite singer, Barry Manilow - someone I'd not been able to see most of my adult life mostly because of my ex..................during those travels I met my now-partner who had then become my best friend. We did a lot of traveling together in those days - all while I was dating the father of one of my daughter's best friends. DP had been given the opportunity to meet someone on a blind date - and when she told me that, I panicked. I was outwardly supportive, but inside I was a mess. I spent most of an evening trying to figure out why I was in such a state............and then realized I loved this woman for more than being my "best friend". I was terrified I was going to lose that connection................... as it turned out her blind date didn't work out, and I broke off with the man I was dating. I took a full year to come to grips with coming out to myself first..................and of course in that year so much of my life started to make sense. I felt in my heart that my DP felt the same about me, but it took a trip to California, staying at some awesome friends' home, and some time walking on the beach for us to be able to have the conversation we needed to have.

We've been together a little over 9 1/2 years and are in this forever. My kids love her like a second Mom, and both of our immediate families are very supportive and accepting. In the intervening years, we've witnessed the marriage of our DD, the birth of our first grandchild, with number two now on the way, and have made it through many great times, many difficult times. I know what love, commitment, and "forever after" is truly all about ..........

..................better late than never! emoticon

Linda
Newark, Ohio


"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin."
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"You have to be willing to let go of the life you planned in order to make the life you 're meant to live."
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6/18/14 12:47 P

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emoticon

"How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world."
~William Shakespeare


Kelly


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YISHAY's Photo YISHAY Posts: 626
6/18/14 12:36 P

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You're welcome Kelly emoticon

Edited by: YISHAY at: 6/18/2014 (12:36)
"make no excuses for who you are"
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6/18/14 11:44 A

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Another great A-HA story. Thanks for sharing it with us!

"How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world."
~William Shakespeare


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YISHAY's Photo YISHAY Posts: 626
6/18/14 12:10 A

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Abby my son did the same thing and experienced some of the same things your son did he was cutting had an eating disorder,he eventually in grade 10 changed to a smaller school but was terified to go when he found most of the kids were homophobic i had a long talk with him and we came to the conclusion that he not volunteer any info but still would be himself not to mention i had many e mails regarding their policies and it was a no tollerance policy and the principal and I knew who eachother. He is now finished school and ended up doing very well there and was quite poppular too and he always would say when someone would say something homophobic he would let them know his Mom is gay now he is going to prom in a couple of days. He is out with everyone and does not hide his bisexuality he also has a boyfriend of 2 years he apears to be leaning towards gay but i won't know for a long time he only turns 18 yrs old on july 26. he came out when he was 13.

Edited by: YISHAY at: 6/18/2014 (00:13)
"make no excuses for who you are"
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6/8/14 11:23 A

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What a great A-HA story. Thank you for sharing it with us and congratulations on meeting your soul mate.

"How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world."
~William Shakespeare


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6/7/14 10:30 P

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In hindsight I really should have picked up on it sooner. I guess I really figured it out while I was married and dreaded having sex with him. Was never really into it. Met my partner purely by accident but as the cliche goes, 'she had me at hello' Something immediately clicked with us.

I wish I had figured it out before getting married, but then I probably never would have met my partner. I guess the thought never crossed my mind I could be a lesbian because I never had any in my life growing up, that I know of. I was surrounded by accepting people and grew up with diversity, but I just never realized being a lesbian was ok. I think it was also because I had this stereotypical image like I would have to cut my hair and stop wearing cute clothes. Demented, I know.

Things make so much more sense to me now. A huge weight was lifted when I figured this out 7 years ago at 34. Hoping to meet lots of cool people here. Locals would be great to hang with.

Yoda said it best, "Do or do not....

Every morning is a new opportunity to defeat failure.


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4/17/14 3:33 P

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What a great "AHA" moment and thanks for sharing it with us. I'm glad to hear that your parents are coming around to accept it.

"How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world."
~William Shakespeare


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4/17/14 12:23 A

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I've always known that I was attracted to girls my entire life, but I was raised by my incredibly conservative Catholic mother, and she always made comments about "gay people" that were negative, so I never thought too far into my attractions when I was younger.

It wasn't until I was fifteen and was forced out of the closet by my step-father hacking into my Myspace account and reading private messages with a girl I liked at the time that it really began to sink in that I wasn't "normal." My mom and step-father kept trying to push me to date boys and try to see if I could stop being the way I was.

You see, I never felt that I was wrong, and I was always aware that I was attracted to other girls. But I guess I just thought that maybe someday, somehow, I would just find a guy that I liked enough to settle down with and make my parents happy, finally.

My A-HA! I'm Gay! Moment (like, fully gay, there is no turning back for me!) moment finally hit when I was eighteen. It was the summer after I graduated high school. Two weeks after, in fact. A good friend of mine was hosting a pool party at his grandparents house, and I was invited, along with my best friend.

We had been swimming for awhile when I noticed this boy sitting on the ledge of the pool. He started talking to me, and I thought he was sweet, and really funny. Eventually, someone suggested a game of chicken, and he hoisted me up on his shoulders. Later on, he insisted on sitting next to me at every opportunity, asked for my number, and text messaged me right after I left. In retrospect, I should have realized he was flirting, but I had no idea! I was pretty much too gay to function.

My best friend was jealous. This boy, M, was the textbook definition of "hot." He was on the wrestling team, and had muscles for days. He had beautiful ebony skin, a killer smile, and nice hands. I mean, this boy was everything most girls could want. But not me. I agreed to go out with him, and I genuinely adored him as a friend, but nothing more. When he kissed me, it was like kissing a wall. I felt nothing. That was my Aha moment. I figured that if M couldn't do it for me, no guy could! emoticon

After that experience, I decided to come out one final time. No holding back for anyone else. I met my girlfriend shortly after, and we've been together for two and a half years now. :) It definitely feels right when I'm with her! And my mom is starting to come around as well!

just keep swimming!


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4/4/14 6:56 A

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Wow, that's a lot of A-Ha emoticon Thank you for being brave & sharing this with the rest of us. I'm more of a golly-gee gets embarrassed easily type of boi.

The Wolf Credo:"Respect the elders. Teach the young. Cooperate with the pack. Play when you can. Hunt when you must. Rest in between. Share your affections. Voice your feelings. Leave your mark.

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2/25/14 12:46 P

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What a great AHA moment! Thank you for sharing your story.

"How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world."
~William Shakespeare


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2/23/14 12:09 A

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My "A-HA!" moment was more like a series of moments and realizations:

- The idea of two women in a relationship instead of a man and a women always intrigued me (even before I knew anything about sex).

- I never felt the urge to put up pictures of any men anywhere in my room or use them as desktop backgrounds. Pictures of P!nk, Ani Difranco, and Jillian Michaels however...

- In a similar vein, I've pretty much always listened exclusively to female singers/musicians.

- After certain events and discussions transpired in the bedroom, my then boyfriend suggested that maybe I was gay (his comment was appropriate and said without any judgment - he was a proud ally to the community and his brother was gay)

- I stumbled across the film "But I'm A Cheerleader" and it instantly became one of my favorite films.

- During my sophomore year in college, I was shopping with my BFF and she asked me if I would date a woman (she was the kind of person who would spontaneously ask very personal questions in full earnest). This was before I had talked about sexual orientation with anyone, and I just paused and responded honestly "Yeah".

- In my senior year, I went with my college's LGBTQ club to a gay club in the city. I had a lot of fun, and for the first time I was kissed by a girl. I could instantly tell that she smoked cigarettes (which I hate) but it really didn't bother me at the time. That kiss still ranks higher than any kiss I've had with a guy.

- Apparently my not-straightness is obvious enough that my mom was the first one to explicitly say it, and when I "came out", my aunt's response was "Well, about time".

There are also silly little things that fit the "Lesbian" stereotypes (though I identify as Bisexual/Demisexual):
- Through high school and college the only bras I wore were sports bras (I mean, they're so comfortable, they're easier to put on, and you can always run without worrying about bounce!)
- I'm a vegetarian
- I'm fluent in American Sign Language
- Every time I watch the silly sitcom "Super Fun Night", I feel like Marika is my spirit animal.
emoticon

Edited by: OPTIMISSPRIME at: 2/23/2014 (00:11)
"Three weeks ago, if you were to ask me to fight a giant robot, I would have said "no can do". But I did it! Me! I'm still buzzing! Did you see how strong I was? There probably isn't a jar in this world I can't open!" - Ginormica, in Monsters vs Aliens

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2/17/14 7:19 P

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What a loving AHA moment and I wish you and your family a lifetime of happiness. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

"How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world."
~William Shakespeare


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2/14/14 10:21 P

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I slowly realized, over many painful relationships with many poorly-chosen men, that I was doing *something* wrong. I labeled myself as bi since I was a teenager, but hated being alone and had trouble meeting ladies who "fit". Finally, I met my now-wife. She's a trans-lady, and I cannot imagine myself with anyone else. If things ever went south for us, I don't think I could ever be in a relationship with a man again, now that I've actually had a real relationship with a woman.

However, I'm still discovering a lot about myself. Orientation, Identity, and Expression are all a little different. So, I'm definitely a lady who likes ladies - Female, Lesbian, check. Gender Expression is more fluid. I recently chopped off a LOT of my hair and started dressing more androgynous and wearing polish and makeup at the same time. So I guess I'm gender-fluid? Still having AH-Hah moments, I suppose.

On a related note, we've both been fairly sure our 5 1/2 year old daughter is gay. Little things have been giving us "clues". Today, she declared she's going to marry a girl and adopt babies. I don't think she'll have an "Ah-hah!" moment, because this is simply how she's been since she could walk and talk. Honestly, a little jealous, it took me a long time to figure it out all the way.

- C

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10/9/13 8:14 P

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My favorite part of your post is:

"When I picture myself happy and fulfilled and in love its a woman that is holding my hand and smiling back at me"

Push that worry about other women being concerned that you've never been with another woman before. I can tell by what you wrote you are compassionate, loving and quite the catch. Thanks for sharing your story with us and good luck on the dating scene. You'll find your life partner when you least expect it.

"How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world."
~William Shakespeare


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10/1/13 5:45 P

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I haven't had an Ah-Ha moment that I can think of. As a teenage I had very few female friends preferring to hangout with the guys. I only had one boyfriend in high school and was devastated when he broke up with me to be with a more girly-girl. I was with my ex-husband from the time I was 19 until I was 32yrs old and we had 2 wonderful boys, but I was never head over heels in love with him and never content or happy in our relationship. After the divorce I floundered around for awhile and then started seeing another guy.. I knew it was what my family expected of me and then I had my children's feeling to take into consideration. How would they feel about me being with another man let alone a woman. We were together for 2 yrs and lots of tears and heartache later I had a new child in my life and another man out of it. In the relationships that I have had there was a lot of me giving until it hurt and getting very little that I needed in return. I have been single and haven't dated in the last 5 1/2 yrs. A couple years ago I brought up the subject of my possibly dating another woman to my kids, which was met with great resistance. Although my dating anyone was met with great dislike, so I continued to remain alone. During all the time that's passed I have thought a great deal about what I wanted and didn't want. What I have come to is that I am ready to have someone special in my life, but I also don't have any longing to be with another man. When I picture myself happy and fulfilled and in love its a woman that is holding my hand and smiling back at me. I have talked to my children again and now that they are older and in relationships of their own they understand and are supportive of my desire to be with another woman. My youngest son is just turning 5 this month and I think that he will be happy as long as I am. I have also told my mother how I feel and she has been very supportive of my choice. The few friends I have told have been supportive as well. My best friend even said she would go to a gay/lesbian club with me so I can meet people and not have to go alone. I have even signed up on compatible partners, its a dating site for gay/lesbians made by the same company that made eharmony. I'm really excited and nervous about the next step in my life. I don't want to be alone or lonely any more, but I also don't know how other women will feel about my never having been with a woman before.


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9/17/13 11:10 A

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Congratulations on your 2 year anniversary and thank you for sharing your story with us.

emoticon

"How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world."
~William Shakespeare


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9/16/13 11:38 P

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I think it was more of a process than anything, but I do remember having a friend that I had a huge crush on in 9th grade. I never told her, but I know she felt the same way. Now she is married, and I have a wonderful partner of 2 years.

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7/5/13 5:52 P

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I think I was 8 years old. I noticed this girl in my class, she looked a lot like my Barbie doll. I would stare at her blue eyes for hours, she wouldn't notice of course. Then I sent her a note that said I loved her. Then her elder cousin came after me, to tell me to stay away from her. That's when I understood that I was different, and that it wasn't okay for others. I'm glad times are changing now (and that we are all a part of it).

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4/15/13 2:00 P

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This is kind of a long one - but I guess it's time that I want to tell my story...
I am one of the few that never really had an A-HA moment - it was more thrust at me than anything else really. I had my moments of acceptance but there really wasn't a definitive moment for me that said - "Oh, that explains it!".
I grew up in a small town in the north woods of Wisconsin - Hayward to be specific. Due to environmental conditions, I was sick a lot as a child. My family and I lived in a mobile home (yeah, I was trailer trash - and proud of it!) just off the Lac Courte Oreilles Indian reservation. Our trailer was made with Formaldehyde in everything as a preservative to keep it from getting mold or mildew. Why is this important? Because formaldehyde and I don't get along - exposure to formaldehyde nearly shuts down my immune system - I had pneumonia for 3 out of every 5 days, and chicken pox 3 times (you're only supposed to get it once - ever). {funny coincidence - the trailer I lived in was made in my partner's home town - the original factory was a federal superfund cleanup site due to the formaldehyde}
Because I was always sick, I spent most of my time indoors and the few friends I had at school were obviously - ta da! - the girls. It was actually entered - I am not kidding you - into my school record from 2nd grade that they suspected that I was gay. Subsequently I spent an hour every week (I remember it pretty well actually - it was 10am on Wednesdays) in the guidance counselor's office during 3rd grade being taught "appropriate behavior" for a boy - i.e. sports, hunting, fishing (it is Wisconsin after all).
After we moved away from Hayward to what I call my real home town (the place where I was born actually) I was no longer sick all the time, but I still hung out with the girls because I was comfortable with them (two of my neighbors were in my grade in school) - I didn't have to act to fit in. I would still play sports on occasion - I was actually fairly good at most, but wasn't really interested in them. Even then, I realized the game "smear the queer" had a much deeper meaning - at least to me.
Oddly enough, I never really came out - everyone just knew or assumed I was gay - though I never did anything about it - I was lucky (or unfortunate depending on perspective) enough to be accepted in every clique in high school - I was in drama and choir, but I also was constantly being recruited for the sports teams, was a townie, but knew my way around a farm. I aced my classes easily with no effort, but was a smoker and hung out with outcasts, druggies, and punks - I didn't have an image so much as a mirage.
By the time I came out to myself at 18 and my parents a few weeks later, it was no shock to anyone but me (the most my parents did was ask me not to be too loud about it for a while because they were worried about what their friends would think... (that backfired of course, the ones they thought would be fine abandoned them and the ones they were worried about didn't care) - the fact of the matter is, I knew all along, but didn't accept myself. I was hiding myself from me because I didn't know how to fit it into other people's expectations. (more on that coming up) I also was really shy and introverted and not active until I was out of high-school. That shyness was a major problem though most of my life - I only figured it out and dealt with it last year (I am turning 42 this summer) and in the process had my real coming out even though I have been with my partner for 14 years.
--the back-story on my shyness and introverted behavior -- My shyness didn't really exist until 7th grade and a major turning point in my life. On 12/13/83 (yes, I even remember the date) I had gotten to math class early and my best friend was running late and running into class - the teacher was outside the room and I was actually a little hellion back then (averaged 2 detentions a week, forged my parents signatures on them to keep it from being noticed. I hid behind the door and tripped him as he came rushing in. He flew into the room and missed hitting the teacher's desk with his head by only a few inches. The teacher came in and royally chewed me out (deservedly i should add) and I spent the next hour in the principal's office followed by a week's worth of detention for my stupidity. That was the last detention I ever served - I buried my true self behind the image everyone expected that day, I lived only to meet those expectations, hid my desires deep in the shadows of the closet. Put up my mirage and stayed behind it whenever someone could see me (I spent a LOT of time alone just to deal with life - even tried suicide 3 times) Despite coming from a family that is for the most part distant and disconnected - I am a hugger, I love touch and feel, but this was hidden away that day nearly 30 years ago.
Last November I had a kind of mental earthquake (completely different story and traumatic in and of itself really) that knocked down a lot of emotional walls - part of the reason I am here actually - I learned a lot about myself as i decided to stop hiding behind that 30 year old mirage - become my true self, I quit smoking, started to lose weight (yayy Sparkpeople!), get exercise, and generally take care of myself. The second coming out - that is me being myself again (for the first time, lol!) - after hiding for 30 years, I have a lot of catching up to do - there are a lot of people who have changed my life for the better over the years - and I will get around to hugging every one of them to thank them.
If you read the whole thing I am impressed... and grateful, as the saying goes - it gets better.

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4/3/13 12:47 P

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Thanks for sharing your story... ahhh, the feeling of being in love and having that love returned. There's nothing greater.

"How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world."
~William Shakespeare


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4/2/13 11:18 P

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I'm not sure if I had an A-ha! moment I think Ive had several if that's possible.
I've always felt drawn to women, and I was always curious when seeing a gay couple, but I it never crossed my mind that I could be bisexual. It was just out of the question. I thought it was that I was just curious about female anatomy, or that in my mind only women could be subject of poetry so, whenever I wrote about females in my poetry it was just me being poetic. I do remember though that one day, I was looking to this beautiful girl and it crossed my mind, well, maybe I like girls, It was a fleeting moment, "well, maybe" I said to myself, "If you do,nothing changes, so, why ask yourself that?" and I let it pass. To be honest I did not remember of those thoughts until recently, when I finally came out to myself.
I fell in love with a friend of mine, I was so crazy (still am, to be honest) about her, and It was so stupid because I didn't realized that I was in love with her until a friend pointed out to me.
I've been having a-ha moments since then. Feelings that I had made sense, overcompensating behaviors were clear to me, this feeling of being kind of not on the right side of femininity stopped to bother me, and I felt like some heavy weight had been taken of my shoulders.
Still, I had my doubts. Maybe it was only THIS girl, maybe I wasn't in love, it was too easy to be true. Then, one day I was waiting for the light to turn to cross the street and this beautiful girl appeared right next to me. I felt uneasy and with butterflies in my stomach, I strightened my clothes, and standed upright, it was something that I did without thinking. When the light finally turned I was giggling "I like women" I said to myself proudly, "I do!"


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3/29/13 12:45 P

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So very sorry to hear of your loss Nikki. Although, she can't be replaced, you will find love again....

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"How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world."
~William Shakespeare


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3/28/13 9:53 P

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I knew from a young age, my only female I've ever loved was Jen, and I lost her to cancer. I'm still hoping to find someone I connect with :)

Edited by: NIKKISCHROE at: 3/28/2013 (22:06)
"What you do, the way you think, makes you beautiful.
― Scott Westerfeld, Uglies


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3/28/13 11:09 A

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Thank you. We love each other very much!

I might be shy, but there's lightning in my eyes!


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3/27/13 10:25 P

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Thanks for sharing your story and cheers to you and Wes. The two of you make a great couple.

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"How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world."
~William Shakespeare


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3/27/13 9:17 P

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I never really had an AH-HA moment growing up I was really tomboyish as well, i guess everyone just kinda knew I didn't really have to tell anyone I was bi-sexually. When i was in 8 grade I had my first boyfriend after that was over I had my first girlfriend. I never really thought anything of it. I was in "love", that's all I knew. It didn't matter to me what gender you were. I had some on and off relationship some short and some longer. When i moved to MN for college I meet Wes. Wes is transgender ftm, and at the time i knew him as persis. As thing became more and more serious he told me about being transgender. My response was something along the lines of, " the best thing about being bi-sexual is that I feel in love with you not what you have". It's been month now. We are moving in to our first apartment next week, and things between us couldn't be better.

I might be shy, but there's lightning in my eyes!


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3/13/13 2:15 P

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I guess I never really had an A-HA moment. I have always been rediculously tomboyish and always knew I was somehow differant. I was 14 and a freshman in highschool when I had my first girlfriend but said I was bi at that point and leaning towards being a lesbain. I came out as gay to my friends and family the next year. Though there were some names thrown my way in high school all of my friends and my school for the most part were open minded and accepting. Almost all of my friends in school were gay and I was a big part of the theatre scene so it was almost weird to not be gay. Now that I am in college though that is almost completely flipped on its head. Although I go to a very accepting school and all of my friends are great I dont know any other gay people, which is very lonely for me. It is a small school with a very close knit gay community which I have yet to get into.

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2/26/13 2:32 P

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Im new here but my a-ha moment is fairly recent I suppose. I married very young and divorced equally as young. I was a single mom for about 14 years until I met my present husband and love of my life. He is FTM transgendered and bi-sexual. He was very open and very honest with me early on. While I knew I loved and cared about him and that it didnt matter to me what parts he came with it certainly brought some questions front and center for me. I realized fairly quickly that I was more than comfortable shall we say with the parts that my husband had and perfectly fine with the parts he did not have. Id actually never felt as comfortable with another; in fact, I recall thinking it was a normal occurrence for a woman to feel nauseated and sick after being with a man. I was raised hearing women refer to sex as a chore so I guess I just processed that, as it would be something I would do and likely not enjoy. So my a-ha moment was just a couple short years ago when I met my husband and realized I was a lesbian.


She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails


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1/17/13 12:53 A

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I don't really have an "A-ha!" moment, nor am I gay. Women were actually my introduction to sex, the first few awkward fumbles under the sheets were with another girl who was 3 years older than me. I was 12 years old, confused and hopelessly in love with my best friend and had no idea what to do about it. The other girl who was my senior had started coming on to me at a slumber party and curiosity (and raging teeny-bopper hormones) went along with it thinking that it might repulse me and I could get over my crush. It backfired, horribly and to this day I have been in love with more women than men. I didn't actually end up coming out until earlier this year however (I'm 21). I had seen girls who went through the whole "bisexual phase" thing for attention when I was genuinely going through it and it gave bisexuality a horrible stigma to me that I was afraid to give myself.

At this point in time I have only been open to people I have met in the past few months and a few close people. As I have been in a relationship with my wonderful male partner for 3 years now, I am afraid of not being taken seriously and haven't yet found away to tell most of my friends and family.

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1/16/13 8:48 P

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It was when I met the First (and the so far the last) girl I ever fell in love with, I was in high school and we both were good friends and had just broken up with our boyfriends, after that i noticed my feelings for her growing each day, when i told her she said she felt the same just didnt want to be in a relationship with a women, Im currently in college and i have lived with her and her family since high school, its been hard getting over her, but im confident i will find someone. I have no real idea of my sexuality because more and more im finding i fall in love with someone's personality and then their body.

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1/15/13 12:55 P

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I knew I was different as a young boy. I also had a crush on a neighbor boy. As I went through high school, I finally started equating words like "faggot, queer, pansy, homo, etc." with who I was!

I have never been flamboyant nor was I obviously gay in school. I came out during my freshman year in college. I now lead an openly gay life, and am much more comfortable being myself...even though I live in a backwards, conservative state (Arkansas). emoticon

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12/6/12 3:12 P

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i have known since i was 11. around the time when all my female friends were abandoning their crushes on each other and switching to boys---yeah, that never happened for me! it was so lonely. had my 1st gf at age 15. she was freaked out by our relationship though and it did not last very long but my heart needed it! we are still close to this day which i love. and she is straight.

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11/20/12 10:03 A

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My "a-ha" moment was when I started living for myself and not for others. I had always had homosexual feelings and even after my first relationship I kept it hidden because of what others might think. My love for my family also kept my feelings undercover because of their difficulty to accept me the way I was and their embarrassment for people knowing that their daughter was a lesbian. Finally I decided that it was their problem and not mine. I was showing love for them by staying "in the closet" but they had no love or respect for me. It took me long time to say "THIS IS MY LIFE" not yours and I deserve to be happy too! Screw what others may think, they live their lives and I don't judge them, why should they judge me?

I didn't make a speech about my "coming out" or a big deal about it but I no longer hid my feelings and if they asked me, I said "yes I'm gay, this is me, if you love me you'll accept me for who I am"

Now not only do others accept me, they also accept my gay friends and love them also for who they are. Best thing I ever did

Debbie aka Pebbles706


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10/19/12 7:20 P

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Sounds like you had a very positive Aha and coming out story. Thanks for sharing them with us.

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How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days. John Burroughs

~Kelly


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10/19/12 4:14 P

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My ah-ha moment was when I was a little girl in grade school and I would try and picture the little girls in my class nekkid and not so much the little boys. ;)

I came out to myself officially and my parents at the age of 19. They took it very well for being religious.

Sweet, senstive, Purple Dolphin losing some weight!

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7/1/12 8:43 P

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Love those puppy love crushes....

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days. John Burroughs

~Kelly


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7/1/12 12:27 P

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I think I always knew but didn't have a name for it so I don't think I have one singular "Aha!" moment to share.
I had crushes on the neighbor boy, on the muscular lifeguard at the public swimming pool, on Jack Lalanne who my mom exercised to on the t.v., on Paul McCartney, on Davey Jones, on Gene Kelly when he danced etc..
I guess when I saw a Donahue episode where he had a real live gay person as a guest I remember thinking, "Aha, so that's what I am." So that would have to be it now that I think about it.

This time it's forever.


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6/30/12 11:21 A

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Agree!!! I love looking back and thinking of the lessons we learn and how much we grow.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission."
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6/30/12 10:48 A

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Ahhh, the teen years. Thanks for sharing the beautiful story Mike. "Coming of Age" is a difficult and confusing time.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days. John Burroughs

~Kelly


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HERBALMIKE's Photo HERBALMIKE Posts: 53
6/30/12 9:05 A

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I think it was when I was in high school. I was in the football team with my best friend Matt, me and that kid where the best of friends. We use to jock around like I guess all teenage jocks did or do, but it was one we where in practice and Matt took a big hit and had to go to the hospital and I sat with him in the doctors office and he looked at me and said I love you kid, thanks for being so worried and I looked at him and said would not have it any other way. I swear that at that moment the gay sparks when crazy and I realized I was crushing for another guy, not just a friend or whatever, but another guy. Long story short Senior year I told him how I felt we messed around for a bit, but he got married and I lost contact with him after he joined the Marines. That is my A-HA I'm gay moment.

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6/26/12 6:53 P

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The teen years are a confusing time for us. Thanks for sharing your story Taylor. Your first kiss with Jamie sounds extraordinarily romantic.

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How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days. John Burroughs

~Kelly


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6/26/12 6:13 P

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I had a deep crush on my best friend in high school but I didn't understand at the time what it was... and I had no idea that being a lesbian was an option. I just thought that girls HAD to be with boys, and that was that. That's when I was 15-17 years old.

When I was 17 years old, I joined the Army (for the college fund). Before I left for basic training, a male friend of mine was joking that I was going off to become a "dyke"... I didn't even know what that was. So he told me, "a dyke is a girl who loves other girls." I made a face (like I thought one was supposed to do), but inside I was screaming, "yesssss!"

In basic training, my bunk buddy was a lesbian. Jamie. We fell head over heals with each other and, one day, we were strength training in the barracks gym, alone. She was spotting me as I bench pressed. Then all of a sudden, she held the bar down, leaned down, and kissed me so tenderly and passionately... I melted like never before with any guy. I was home! I had found who I was! It was my "Aha!" moment for sure!!!

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It's good to read all the stories here from you all... such courage in these stories.

~ Taylor

"I should be a basket case by now." - Linda Richman


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6/25/12 7:31 P

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LOL, hysterical. You have good taste.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days. John Burroughs

~Kelly


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6/24/12 9:31 P

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3 words. Freddie Prinze Jr. emoticon

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4/22/12 1:48 P

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I love this thread. Thank you for sharing your stories of strength and courage.

How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days. John Burroughs

~Kelly


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4/22/12 9:55 A

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Hi there, I am not sure if I really had an "aha!" moment. More like I've always known I was bisexual, and just ignored it. I finally came out to my husband in December, as I realized suppressing this part of me was a big part of our marriage almost ending. I have felt suffocated all my life, and being able to tell him was a huge relief.
I have no plans to come out to anyone else, as it would add unnecessary drama and conflict in my life. My husband is ok with me occasionally having relations with another female outside of our marriage, as he knows I am totally committed to him and our children. As yet, the opportunity has not presented itself, but just knowing I have the freedom to be myself now was a huge weight off my shoulders.
That being said, I did have one "aha!" moment. I believe suppressing that side of my personality, has been a huge part of my emotional eating. I thought I had made my choice years ago, but I now realize it's not a choice, it's who I am. I can't change it any more than I can change my DNA. Acceptance of myself, I believe, is going to go a long way towards the inner Zen I need to lose weight.

Do It For You!


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3/19/12 9:07 P

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I was 14 or so. In retrospect it should take been blatantly obvious from 11 or 12, but I was never particularly mature for my age.

I had a crush on my best friend and realized all at once I was gay. It was just kind of like "Oh. OH. Fml." I only came out to one person before my second year of college though, not counting my twin brother who just sort of found out. My brother had the sweetest reaction I could have possibly hoped for considering what he was like at that age, he was just like "I could never hate you," and that was that. Not like he'd try to look past it or whatever, he was just immediately like, if that's how you are then I guess it must be just fine. (Years later, turns out he's not that straight either.)

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3/12/12 12:27 P

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I was twelve and very smitten with another girl in my middle school play. I was lying on my bedroom floor contemplating it before I realized that I absolutely liked girls and had for a long time.

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1/24/12 1:26 A

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"Make no excuses for who you are" Allison Dubois emoticon

"make no excuses for who you are"
Allison Dubois


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1/22/12 9:54 A

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Thanks to everyone who has shared their stories here!

Edited by: JERSEYTAURUS at: 1/27/2012 (07:34)
Life is a 'WE' program ... it's not meant to be done alone.

Thank you for your support and friendship!


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12/20/11 1:48 P

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You should look up the "it gets better" Dan Savage testimonials, they're even on YouTube now and are targeted to that age group and the bullied experience. I had a relatively easy experience but females have it a bit easier being openly bi though I know many people who had tough times and benefited directly from "it gets better" also emoticon

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12/20/11 1:46 P

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Oh btw my story's a bit lame but whatever: I just knew I was getting crushes on all sorts around the age you start getting crushes and I decided I would let myself love whoever was right for me regardless of gender. I ended up dating a guy who later came out as gay, kissing my female best friend (but it was weird for her) and crushing hardcore for a friend of mine who is female-to-male trans before I fell in love with my fiance. I'll admit I am scandalously privileged to have the love of my life be socially acceptable (though what goes on behind closed doors is hardly hetero-normative) so I won't trivialize the heartbreaking experiences of others by claiming to be oppressed as a sexual minority. I just wanted to use this space to offer up a unique testimony and offer support for the wonderful diversity of experience we ALL represent. :)

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12/20/11 1:12 P

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Abby-You should look up the "it gets better" Dan Savage testimonials, they're even on YouTube now and are targeted to that age group and the bullied experience. I had a relatively easy experience but females have it a bit easier being openly bi though I know many people who had tough times and benefited directly from "it gets better" also emoticon

Edited by: PYRENATA at: 12/20/2011 (13:47)
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12/1/11 9:20 P

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Abby-I am very sorry for your son. Bullying is absolutely a terrible thing! I hope he finds some hope in his life. I think just being there and supportive is more important that anything else. I have to say that I think you are like most parents who are not gay themselves. Luckily I have very supportive parents, and while I am not sure they fully understand, they have always loved me no matter what and love my wife as much as me. My mother and I are open with each other and she asks questions when she is curious and we laugh at the answers. Don't be afraid to ask his perspective. My mom has asked the most bizarre questions, and it makes me laugh because I would have never realized she didn't understand. Sometimes I assume people "get it" and forget that some people don't. Again, I am sorry his classmates are horrible to him and that he has had such a difficult time. I hope he realizes there are so many of us out there who have excellent "normal" lives. I am sending my support.

Yishay-I had many hints as a child too, and always thought I was bisexual, until I finally acted on a crush I had with my best friend. It wasn't really until I had sex with a woman that I realized that sex actually could be really good! lol. I guess getting in trouble for kissing a girl in nursery school would have been my first hint :-)



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11/8/11 2:30 P

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Hi i'm new My comming out i was with a friend who i had only friend feelings for but suddenly i felt very strong sexual feelings i did not act on them due our friendship being so long since i was 18, now i'm 36 this was 2 years ago that this happened now i'm in a LTR and am loving it when i think back over my childhood i had so many hints about my orientation i had more crushes on girls than i can count and some fooling around(and liking it), so i was a late bloomer.


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11/4/11 2:16 P

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Well I am not sure this is the place for me, so feel free to tell me to leave....

My son came out to me a little less than a year ago. He came out as bi-sexual leaning towards being gay, but has yet to have a gay relationshp. He was 13 at the time, 14 now. I tried to "cool". I tried to be understanding. But I can honestly say I didn't embrace his choice with open arms. I do tell him that I love him regardless. This has been a rough year. He also came out at school. For everyone who says their schools were supportive, I am glad, but please know this is not the case for everyone. He was bullied, beaten, teased, abandoned...as a result he started down a downward spiral of depression. He started cutting himself as a release. Last year (7th grade) he was expelled from school for attempting to kill himself in the bathroom. The bullies have yet to even receive a detention. He is in therapy and at times feels like his "gayness" needs to be fixed. I tell him, it is his depression that needs to be "fixed" not being gay. It's tough though. He has been having serial "girlfriends" this school year and I think it is his way of hoping people will forget about his bisexuality. I just want to be supportive. I just want to be the mom he can come to. Its tough right now.

Anyways, my weight has always been an issue and I am working on it, but when I saw this group, I thought the support might help me deal with all the emotional eating I do. Again, if this is not the right group, I understand.

angi

Edited by: ABBYNORMALOH75 at: 11/4/2011 (14:17)
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8/15/11 8:27 P

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so update i just called the girl i have a crush on. i know bad but she did call me twice last week. i didn't return those calls. but i got a text message 2 day. i can't get text on my phone but it tells me i had an incoming text. shes the only 1 that i know of that tries 2 text that phone so i called 2 see if she texted me. i left her a message since she didn't answer whitch told me that she did not text. right? so im beating myself up 4 calling her and my phone rings. i didn't answer but then when i was checking the call she called in again and it automatically picked up so i had 2 say hello lol. and we talked 4 four minutes it was cool. it was like before when we used 2 talk before all the drama. but i know im just setting myself up 2 be hurt again. right? so why do i put myself through this i been trying 2 get over it. i still struggle with it but i do my best. thanx 4 listening:) emoticon

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8/3/11 10:16 P

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NO WAY CAN'T STAND HIM LOL:) I KNOW I HAVN'T REALLY COME OUT ONLY 2 A FEW PEOPLE N MY DAUGHTER PUTS IT ON FB LOL:) emoticon

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8/3/11 7:11 P

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I am assuming that you are no longer with her father? If so well too bad if he doesn't like it! Your life is yours to live and you have to do what is right for you despite what others think... I don't think you have to explain anything to him... Seeing as your daughter is on FB and you have had a conversation about her being bi and she knows what "coming out" means, she is old enough to make her own decisions....

Alas one of the reasons that I have a love hate relationship with FB, it is way to easy for your personal business to end up on the internet.

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8/2/11 10:21 P

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SO MY DAUGHTER DECIDES 2 ANNOUNCE 2 FB HOW HER MOTHER CAME OUT 2 A FEW PEOPLE LOL NOW HER FATHER IS GONNA ? ME HE ALREADY TOLD ME HE IS A HOMO PHOBIC WHEN I WAS TALKING 2 HIM ABOUT HER BEING BI. emoticon

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7/31/11 10:00 A

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I liked Tipping the Velvet as a book better than the movie. I just read another one by the same author, Sarah Waters, called The Night Watch. A great book about WWII in London...

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. (Miss Piggy)


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7/30/11 11:10 P

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THANX YES I AM TRYING 2 LET IT GO ITS SO HARD BUT IM NOT PURSUING IT I STOPPED CALLING HER AND IM TRYING 2 RECOVER ON MY OWN. I SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION SO I HAVE GOOD DAYS AND BAD DAYS. emoticon

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7/30/11 9:46 A

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I was just reading through the previous posts here and I needed to stop and comment.

@Crazee - Welcome to girl on girl love... It is intense! When you meet someone who really clicks with you, you will look back on your crush and reolize that the feelings you are having now are nothing in comparison. Women are emotional creatures... X2... it will knock your socks off! It is important for your own sanity to let this girl you are crushing on go.... it is obviously not going to move into anything and you will be wasting your time and causing yourself undue emotional pain to continue persuing her. I know easier said than done right? You will be okay, I promise!

and I have to say I LOVED Ruby Fruit Jungle! I read it in one night couldnt put the book down and burst out laughing in bed while my partner was sleeping beside me a number of times in the night...

Tipping the velvet was really good as well!



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7/27/11 4:56 P

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For me it was a little different. I didn't really think about it until I was about 18. I had boyfriends and remember thinking that I could take or leave them but had little emotional connection to them. When I was 18 I met my partner and it wasnt until she had been persuing me for about 6 months and decided she had to move on that I had my "A ha moment". She got a girlfriend and I couldnt stand seeing them together. I reolized at that moment that I was in love with her. Luckily for me their relationship was not ment to be and ended rather quickly. Then I could not deny it anylonger... After the fact when I look back I had crushes on many gorls/women in my lifetime, but at the time I didnt recognize it as a crush.
So ther you have it!

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7/24/11 9:23 A

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I bet that's the way for most people... I remember realizing when I heard lesbian or gay or something that I finally had a word for me. It made it that much easier to name it rather than have this thought out there and feeling so alone. I knew if the word existed there were others like me.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. (Miss Piggy)


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7/21/11 3:05 A

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As soon as I understood the concept, I knew. So probably when I was 8 or 9 and first heard about "lesbos" ...

The universe tells you:
"YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND"


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7/19/11 7:12 A

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My aha moment was when I was caught "fooling around" with a neighbor kid in the stairwell at 11 years old. The landlord told my mom and dad about the incident and my dad beat the S#@! out of me that day. I've recovered from the beat down -- I guess my dad thought that he could beat the gay out of me -- NOPE, it didn't work. Here I am with my husband for 16 years and 9 months and last year we got married.

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7/15/11 10:54 P

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SO UPDATE THE GIRL I BEEN CRUSHIN ON FINALLY CALLS AFTER 3 WEEKS JUST 2 UPDATE ME ON SOMETHING SHE WAS GONNA HELP ME ON SO WE ONLY TALKED 4 LIKE A MINUTE I DIDN'T BRING UP ANY OF THE DRAMA SINCE SHE DIDN'T BUT I CALLED HER BACK THE SAME DAY AND SHE HAS SOME 1 ELSE CALL ME 2 TELL ME SHE LEFT WORK AND WAS GOING HOME LIKE SHES NEVER CALLED ME FROM HOME LIKE SHES NOT THE 1 WHO GAVE ME HER CELL PHONE # AND STARTED CALLING ME IN THE EVENING AND TELLING ME I COULD CALL HER ANYTIME NOW SHE WANNA ACT LIKE IM A STALKER NOW LOL:) I WAS KINDA MAD AND UPSET BUT IM GETTING OVER IT I MEAN I HAVE NO CHOICE I STILL HAVE FEELINGS BUT I WAS DOING SO GOOD UNTIL SHE CALLED ME AGAIN:( emoticon

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7/8/11 6:17 P

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I KNOW I SURE DIDN'T WANT 2 ADMIT IT WHEN I HAD MY 1ST CRUSH ON A GIRL I WAS IN COMPLETE DENIAL I TOLD NO 1. NOW ON MY 2ND CRUSH THE FEELINGS WERE JUST 2 STRONG 2 DENY. AFTER SPENDING AN HOUR WITH HER I FELT LIKE I WAS GONNA BURST IF I DIDN'T TELL SOME 1 SO I CALLED MY GAY CUZ AND TOLD HER. THEN I TOLD MY BEST FRIEND MY BI DAUGHTER AND MY SISTER. I FINALLY JUST TOLD MY THERAPIST. ABOUT 7 PEOPLE KNOW. BUT I HAVN'T REALLY COME OUT ALL THE WAY. THE GIRL I LIKE KINDA FOUND OUT AND WON'T SPEAK 2 ME ANYMORE. I KNOW IF SHE WAS DOWN WIT IT I WOULD COME OUT 4 SURE N NOT CARE WHAT ANY 1 THINKS BUT I HAVE FAMILY MEMBERS THAT R SO AGAINST IT THAT I DON'T WANNA UPSET THEM 4 SOMETHING THATS NOT GONNA HAPPEN. emoticon

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7/7/11 11:37 P

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Interesting... I distinctly remember when I came out to my parents, and I vividly remember the first girl I fell for, but my "A-HA" moment is escaping me at the moment. At 14, I was very much in denial of my sexuality from every aspect, and didn't want to even talk about sex at all. I was very embarrassed by the subject. But, at 15, I started talking to a guy online who was 18, strictly in a friendly and very mildly flirty way, who would talk to me about him and his girlfriend and just opened my naive eyes a bit. I remember going to school and looking at everyone and wondering if they were sexually active. Then, I started realizing more and more how attracted I was to not only guys, but to women. I think I was pretty sure at that point, sure enough to tell some of my long time friends. Soon after that, I moved for the second time in my junior year, and I met this beautiful girl in my Chemistry (haha) class who I fast became friends with. We went to a concert together and we running around a park at night together after the show just being silly girls, and she said out of the blue, "I'm bisexual," and I replied, "So am I," and we looked at each other and that moment I had my first kiss and there was no doubt in my head that I could be intimate with a woman. Like someone else mentioned in one of the previous stories, I started to believe maybe everyone was bi. I just thought maybe some people didn't want to admit it. lol.

Edited by: JENVAMPVEGAS at: 7/8/2011 (00:52)
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7/7/11 11:34 P

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I ALSO WAS SO TOTALLY CLUELESS IN HIGH SCHOOL I HAD MY 1ST REAL CRUSH ON A GIRL ONLY LAST YEAR AND MY 2ND THIS YEAR IM STILL FRIENDS WITH THE 1ST 1 ( I NEVER TOLD HER) I WAS IN DENIAL. THE NEW 1 KINDA FOUND OUT AND WON'T TALK 2 ME:( SO AS OF NOW EVEN THOUGH I NOW KNOW I LIKE GIRLS I HAVN'T HAD THAT 1ST EXPERIENCE YET I DON'T WANT IT 2 BE WITH JUST ANYBODY I WANT IT 2 BE THAT 1:) OH YES MY DAUGHTER IS INVOLVED WITH GSA AND THE PRIDE CENTER SHE RALLIED IN FRONT OF CITY HALL 4 GAY MARRIAGE AND WENT 2 ALBANY 4 THE SAME THING SO SHE IS VERY ACTIVE IN THE GAY COMMUNITY. I HAVN'T OFFICIALLY CAME OUT ONLY A FEW PEOPLE KNOW PLUS YA'LL:) BUT I DID GO 2 PRIDE THIS YEAR 4 THE 1ST TIME AND ACTUALLY MARCHED IN THE PARADE:)

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7/7/11 4:10 P

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I was clueless in high school! How terrible to be outted at high school! The girl I hung out with turns out to be gay and lives with her partner in Sweden. We found each other over the internet last year and now we are collaborating on a children's story! We used to tease each other about our mutual attraction, but she must have heard rumors and asked if we could have some space for a while. It amazed me how CLUELESS I TRULY WAS!
Good luck, with your new roomie. That could be totally awkward if the feeling is NOT mutual.

"Don't Dream It, BE IT"
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7/7/11 3:52 P

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Hi I'm Hillary! (Hill, and Star are my nicknames)

My "Ah-ha" moment came in my freshman year of High School. I was 13, and had just started my freshman year of high school. I was going through that awkward transition phase of getting used to being on the bottom of the totem pole again. When I met the first girl I was ever going to have a serious crush on. I didn't know she was a girl. In fact when I first met her I was pretty sure she was a guy. I couldn't explain why but I was very deeply attracted to this person. When someone told me that she was a girl, I tried to distance myself, but couldn't stay away. She ended up driving me home most days, and we'd hang out after school. I hung out with a crowd of people that were a grade or two older than I was, and she didn't even go to our school. The second semester of that year she had a spring break party. They came in and got me, and I went out and stayed with them.

That night I almost kissed her. I was sitting in a chair staring at the fire when she came up to me and got literally about 1/4 of an inch away from my face. I leaned forward expecting her to kiss me and she smiled as she pulled away. No kiss. We traded jewelry. She wore my sterling silver ring, and I wore her spike bracelet. I was going through my goth/ emo stage. I think I was in love with her, but after following her around like a lovesick puppy for two years I changed my life. I had been a bad student and had a 2.5 GPA. And then I kicked my butt into gear my Junior year with help from my German teacher. (different story) One of my friends had confronted me about being bi that year, and I faced up to it. I told my closest friends, and someone who I thought was a friend who outed me to the entire school.

I've since dated only guys. But all my male relationships don't work. I just got out of a year long one where I changed myself to be with him, and I'm happier now. I've had lots of girl crushes since then, and in fact I had one on the girl who is going to be my roommate this fall at college. We're going to have a rainbow room. emoticon
I've told my mom, who supports me no matter what, but my dad was raised that gay is wrong no matter what, and so I don't know that I'll be telling him while he's paying for college.

And someone said something about GLSEN earlier? They have an awesome Safe Space program for High School GSAs. So, CRAZEE if your daughter has a GSA at her school, you should have her get involved with them. They're going to probably be against the whole "That's so Gay" thing. I know I am. And I agree with the "That's so straight." My friend and I started saying "that's so heterosexual." this past semester at school.

I love all of your stories, and you're all so brave for coming out. emoticon

"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars!"
-unknown


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7/6/11 9:39 A

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Am I Blue was such an important part of my high school life. I was about the same age as you, I think around sophmore or junior year in high school. I also a couple of books from Fancesca Lia Block. Thanks for reminding me about these books!

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6/30/11 6:18 P

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THANK U I WILL PASS IT ON:) emoticon

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6/30/11 6:11 P

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CRAZEE - if your daughter hasn't seen it yet, send her in the direction of GLSEN's campaign, ThinkB4YouSpeak (http://www.thinkb4youspeak.com/)... it has some great tips for combatting homophobia and anti-gay language in schools. Good stuff!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. (Miss Piggy)


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6/30/11 6:08 P

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It's a book of short stories... mostly for teenagers, but I think it's relavent to any age... It's actually called, and I didn't realize this, Am I Blue, edited by Marion Dane Bauer. It was printed in 1994. Which is fascinating because I didn't know it was that late in my high school career (junior or senior year, depending). I think of it as a formative selection in my pile of books. Some of the authors are Francesca Lia Block, Gregory MacGuire (of Wicked fame), and Lois Lowry... I might have to find it again. I did love it.

http://www.amazon.com/Am-Blue-Coming-Out
-Silence/dp/0064405877

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. (Miss Piggy)


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6/30/11 6:06 P

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THOUGHT U MIGHT LIKE THAT LOL:) emoticon

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6/30/11 6:04 P

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emoticon

"Don't Dream It, BE IT"
(Rocky Horror Picture Show)


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6/30/11 5:48 P

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YEA MY DAUGHTER HATES THAT HOW EVERY 1 SAYS THATS SO GAY HER RESPONSE IS THATS SO STRAIGHT LOL:) emoticon

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6/30/11 3:25 P

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COUNTYGRRL! I want to find that I AM Blue book. Is it a comedy or drama?

"Don't Dream It, BE IT"
(Rocky Horror Picture Show)


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COUNTYGRRL's Photo COUNTYGRRL Posts: 145
6/30/11 3:17 P

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I think that it really depends on what era you grew up in... it's getting better now, but it's still difficult out there. The high schoolers (and younger) tend to be more open, but not always more accepting. "That's so gay!" is still used in the locker rooms, even by the guys and gals who love the Katy Perry "Firework" video or anything by P!nk.

I know a lot of older women and men who came out later in life. I also know a lot of younger women and men (and everything in between and outside of) who refuse to be labeled.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. (Miss Piggy)


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6/30/11 3:10 P

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I loved "I Am Blue" when I was a young'n. The local library (!!) had it in 1992ish... I adored the everyone-turns-blue story, too. It's still one of my favorite books on our queer-shelf.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. (Miss Piggy)


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6/26/11 8:55 P

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OK maybe I'll wait for the Cliff Notes to come out!

I saw that pic of you throwing the shotput! You still got some GUNS, Baby!

"Don't Dream It, BE IT"
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6/26/11 7:11 P

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ps T ~ don't bother reading The Well... it only got famous bcs it was banned and Oscar Wilde supported the author politically; it's rather an awful novel, from writing to depressive effect. Sort of historically informative, tho.

I LOVE your paint program pics; yes! you WILL do it on canvas!!!

hhhuh.... just sighing again that you get to build ultralites TOO. emoticon

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here are all -i thinq!- the hidden emos! :
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6/26/11 7:05 P

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Tee ~ yep! I've been to your spage, and looked with LONGING at your great!!! construction pics, lol. I STILL get the 'no, thanks, we can handle it' kind of response from even Close! friends and family... except for my 'twin' sis, who allowed me to come to her great big gorgeous house in Fla a few years ago, and paint a great mural on her nice large living room wall! She even paid me, by providing airline tickets for my DH and our DD and I to visit while I worked.

I'll HAVE to get my sis to send me a pic so I can post it on my page. I got several offers from her friends & neighbors to so similar work for them, but I'd already come back home by then... arg!

Did you know how HARD it is to convince people who're thrilled by their first contact with the mother ocean, just how Dangerous! it is to remain in the surf once the sun is going down and everyone else, even the lifeguards, have left the beach???! They drove me CRAZY ...I've known about rip tides since I grew up on the ocean shore as a little girl...

Keep up the creativity, T !

ps yes i think my last man, an actual hubby, was very affected by the fact that he was slight/handsome (like chris reeve b4 his accident), and gentle. He was so bullied by other guys, even as an adult, that he finally gave in and started trying to be more macho... not in a great way; that's primarily what broke us up.
There ARE great guys all over the place, but they usually don't make as much Noise as the jerks do. wah.

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TABBYARTS's Photo TABBYARTS Posts: 7,739
6/26/11 3:59 P

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I have met quite a few gals who didn't come out until after they had done the mandatory heterosexual family track. It hadn't occurred to them either. Once they had become divorced, they were FREE to consider other options.

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2BMYOWN's Photo 2BMYOWN Posts: 7,367
6/26/11 2:20 P

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Well, I have to admit that I am from the 'other side' of the fence with this, and when I was speaking with my friend, this really 'clicked' with me, for some reason. I had no leanings of this nature whatsoever in my childhood, youth, or early adulthood. It was not until I was in my 30's that I met a woman that hit me like a rock, and I was absolutely and totally knocked off my feet altogether. And I was the one who was most shocked.....but since that day, it's like it totally flipped my brain around and now I would not even consider being with a man again. But I always hear people say that they had always 'known' this about themselves long before they ever actually admitted it or acted on it, and they can cite this or that in their earlier years that basically clued them in to the fact that they were somehow 'different' from the accepted 'norms'. But that was not the case with me and that has always puzzled me, I guess. So when my friend was discussing that interview, I found myself wondering if this was possibly what my own problem had been, maybe.....??? I dunno.....then again, I gotta admit that I have never been the shiniest can in the six pack, either, so maybe that's the problem! LOL But I just wondered if anyone else identified with this.......or if I was just a total oddball. (surprise, surprise.....)

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