I hesitate in telling you what you should do because by all admissions you know what to do. However, I will say that when I am feeling negative about my life and this journey, it hinders my progress. First of all, you are gorgeous. I know, I know, if you don't feel it, it is hard to accept that compliment. However, I don't think your not being the "ideal" weight should stop you from enjoying your engagement photos. What would you tell a client who cam to you with the same issues?
As for the fitness, you are working out which is good as you know. Besides calorie cycling, you didn't speak much on your nutrition. I am not a professional and this is strictly opinion, but if you are doing P90X shouldn't you be consuming more than 1000 calories? I have done the videos and am using the strength training ones right now and I can drop anywhere from 300-500+ calories in one workout. Is it really safe to have your caloric intake so low?
The bottom line is this, this is your journey. Admittedly you have gone through some pretty frustrating things lately. However, these things can be used as stepping stones and not as something to defeat you. Allow this time to rebuild your self confidence and your fitness. You should move forward with your business. Think about what an inspiration you can be to others that you work with. When I am working out with a trainer or professional, I don't want to see a perfect Barbie Doll, I want to see someone who knows my struggles and can truly understand my frustrations with eating, weight, and life. You ARE that someone.
Just something to think about.
~ Charice ~
Leader ~ Phenomenal Women of AKA
"Temptation may break me; procrastination may blind me; but motivation will push me and devotion will save me (Unknown)."
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